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DUNGEONS & DRAG-QUEENS: CAPED COSPLAY!

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Nuuuuuu... ugh fine we'll stay, but I AIIIIN'T gettin' married to this chick. And I ain't puttin' on normal clothing either. >:(
We broke his friggin' back? dang! I wanted to avoid violence ,but I guess this is cool too. I ask him how we can stop the dark army. I'm also trying not to enjoy what I may soon see. I mean, he looks like a hot 16 year old! I'm hoping the first nude girl I see isn't actually a dude (You gotta work with what you got... Wow ,this adventure may be screwing with Alex's head.)

I lose all mercy for him when I realize he's a pedophile. Do what you must diamond!
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
5958
I politely suggest to the LeFarte man that he should tell us more about the adventurers. I mention that if he's good and tells us everything, I'll sit on his face afterwards. Oh yeah baby.

(I fail to mention that I'm about to turn back into a living statue at the end of the round. He can find that part out the hard way. The way that involves a giant stone butt crushing his face.)

Also, before we leave, you should use your turn to take his stuff. You can never have enough stuff in an RPG.
Did you just suggest that I s-s-steal? Sure why not, lets rob him!
Dudesoft
always a dudesoft, never a soft dude.
6309
Game Post 40
Rhys and FABULOUS!! Wes
The crowd of rowdy Onesvillagers are paying you both rapt attention. They are overjoyed by the union of such individuals as Wes and Olas! What a perfect match!
Despite Wes's many protests and obvious disgust at the idea, the crowd still cheers. Bruce Baker is given copious pats on the back, and a round of ale for the entire hall is ordered. While the villagers gather 'round Bruce, Wes manages to kick free of Olas' death grip, and pulls Rhys off the centre stage.
After some deliberation over staying or going, you stay. The party raves on, and it is of course left to Rhys to advise Bruce Baker that no one will be marrying his daughter.
The news comes as a low blow. Bruce sits there, looking forelorn.
"What did she do to offend the wizard, Wes? Has she shamed my family's name? Shall I have her killed? Fore there are no others who will marry her. Perhaps, you can help me. Could you take her with you? Onesville is no place to live for her. Find her a husband if your friend will not marry him. Will you accept this quest, oh Traveller? There is gold in it, if need be."
Meanwhile, Wes spends the evening explaining to Olas that it just won't work out and that they should just be friends. At length, the lass understands. Reluctant to listen.
Then, as Wes sat down to relax after a night of torment, he is joined by Aridath the grey. The man looks hard into Wes' eyes.
"Stranger Wes, do you know the magical arts? I fear dark times are ahead. Something in my soul tells me of terrible things to come. Show me what skills you have, stranger."

Diamond and Alex Rift
At the prospect of luscious flesh, LeFarte's lips are suddenly very loose. "There was some man wearing a big hat, and the other was wearing a dress. It was most disturbing. Alas, there was also Aridath! The grey wizard who cast me out of the king's mind. The whole kingdom would have been mine, and I would've got away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids!"
Now, Diamond lowers himself onto the man's eagerly awaiting face...
Diamond is now a giant statue monster.
+1 EXP for Rift and Diamond! (Use your imagination!)

Rift then loots the body to find:
20 gold (divided among you both)
1 Black Fur Jacket (+1 DEf, protects from cold)
1 Black Fur Scarf (+2 Style, provokes animal rights activists)
And 2 shoe laces
Nonono don't kill the poor girl! And um, I'm fine with Olas tagging along if Rhys is. (are you fine with it?)

"Ummm... magical arts... I don't think I have any magical skills other than the abilities these clothes give me. But I'll see what I can do..." I suppose I'll show him my hovering abilities and maybe summon a few rainbows. And... hmm, I have a feeling... that maybe I could do something else? Like maybe summon a rain cloud or something? I dunno, just a feeling.
Sure, she can come along. I'll also take some gold. Goodness knows I need a real sword and clothing!
Now that that's over with let's head to onesville! Pedophile or not , I still feel bad for the guy. What a terribly misdleading way to die.
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
5958
Yeah, onward.
Dudesoft
always a dudesoft, never a soft dude.
6309
Happy Valentine's Day! Been busy drawing Templar Knights comic... OK let's see here...

Game Post 41
The long house party came to a rowdy midway when two tanners were bickering about the best types of leather. This grew into a town-wide debate, leaving the king, Bruce Baker, his entourage, and the wizard alone.
The whole thing with Wes and the rainbow magic seemed to fizzle the crowd. People lost interested because there was just too many colours and the leather debate was far more interesting.
So, as the night eased one, Rhys and Wes sat among the social elite (read: NPCs with names). The conversation was minimal. Then, Aridath noticed Wes' armlet and was startled. "By the lords of heaven. What is that?"
Without explaining where it came from, Wes shrugs.
"That is the Enemies Mark! Do you come from the Dark Army?" Aridath presses.
"They were coming from the north..." Bruce Baker pointed out thoughtfully.
"And they do not want to marry a pretty girl like me..." Olas added.
"They didn't even know where they were when they got here," the weary king said.
"How incredibly queer." Aridath began pacing and casting glares at the armlet. Finally he reached for his staff and spun around shouting, "Begone Foul Demons!"
However, Rhys and Wes were unmoved.
"Ah, well. They check out. Tell me more specifically what that armlet does. If it is the artefact I believe it to be, we are all in grave danger." Aridath shrugged.
Without anything of importance to add, Wes was interrupted by Bruce Baker.
"What danger is there above the war? Our people are dying. Our crops are withered. There is naught to live for but tomorrow. Speak of this danger."
"That amulet, if memory serves correct, is the Armlet of Ocilon. The single most powerful thing ever. It channels the soul of the user at a great cost for great powers." Aridath looked thoughtfully into Wes' eyes. "This one is already susceptible to the alure. We must destroy it. To save the future."
"Grand!" Harry cheered and smashed his axe against Wes' unsuspecting wrist. Luckily the armlet is indestructible, or Wes would be right-handed suddenly.
"Fool! You cannot destroy it with any natural weapons. Only in the place it was forged can it be destroyed." Aridath turned attention to Wes. "The place far north, within the unholy grounds of Frankfoil... In the mountain named Hellopleasesaveme."
A chill crackled thought the air at the mere mention of that demonic mountain.
Looking incredibly skeptical at the wrist of Wes, Bruce said, "It is a gift. We should use it against the enemy!"
"Impossible. It serves but one master. Shthuli."
"The Undead One?" The king wondered quietly.
Licking his lips and reaching forward to pinch the air, Bruce Baker snidely announced, "One does not simply walk into Hellopleasesaveme."
"Alas, no. Let us form a... Fellowship to get it there."
"That sounds trademarked," the king remarked.
"And silly," Olas said shyly.
"Then a Suicide Pact!" Aridath cheered.
"Yes, much better! The Suicide Pact of the Armlet. I like it." Aridath thumped his fists together as way of triple stamping a double stamp.
That is when Alex Rift and Diamond arrived. It is short work reuniting, which you can discuss after this post, and the King decides to send Aridath, Bruce Baker, Harry Trotter, and Olas Baker along in what was firmly dubbed the Suicide Pact of the Armlet.
Once everyone was settled (and pretty much ignored anything the adventurers had to say about all this) the king explained your mission.
"Please destroy the Armlet of Ocilon inside Mount Hellopleasesaveme. How your reach there is your own choice. To aide you on this journey I shall provide this loyal servant. It is a row boat. It fits magically inside your pocket and will apparate when you attempt to cross a river. However, large lakes or y'know... Large oceans and stuff... Those don't work so well with it."
TA-DA! You got the Boat!
ARIDATH JOINED THE PARTY!
"I am a wizard only in fame and power,"

BRUCE JOINED THE PARTY!
"There is no end to the troubles I see."

HARRY JOINED THE PARTY!
"I have a pet owl."

OLAS JOINED THE PARTY!
"I can paint with the colours of the wind."

So how this'll work, is you will each take on a character as your own. So... First come first serve. They will level up and gain skills as you see fit. With one stipulation: they will have predefined Power Pools. So you will have to work within those confines. Each player can only have 1 underling.
If you find and want to swap out for another character that's ok. Underlings have fixed equipment, and no inventory. They are basicly extra HP and skills.
If your underling dies, then you can also find another or stay solo.

I'll work on the characters' stats / starting skills, while you guys discuss/post.
Oh, well, looks like we're going on a Lord of the Rings type of quest then. I call Olas as my companion! n-not 'cuz I like her or anything... >///>

And uh... did I hear the name... Shthuli? That sounds REEEAAAALLY familiar...

Oh, I remember... hey guys... I um, well, around the time I got transported to this place, I remember... sort of blacking out? And, this... thing spoke to me. It said it was Shthuli and I had awoken it from it's slumber. And uh, then he told me to go away so he could "unearth myself into the time stream, and devour your mortal souls" or something creepy like that. So um, does Aridath know anything about that?
Harry's got an owl. I don't even care about Harry, I just want his owl.

This Shthuli guy doesn't sound very nice. Hopefully we don't have to prevent him from getting 4 Crystals or something silly right that. Heh heh.

So to recap, I was transported to a goblin village and was then found by these townspeople.

Oh gee, I still don't have a proper sword.
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
5958
Oh hey! You should probably know that the entire goblin village is marching here. Right now. Like a thousand of them, with weapons, and a suspiciously familiar vampire leading them.

I don't know who any of these people are, so I guess I'll take whoever's left over at the end.
Wha-an entire goblin village?! What in the world happened to make them so mad?
Entire goblin village? Hm, methinks we should leave for Mount whatever-it's-name-is posthaste. Like, before they get here.
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
5958
Someone named Turto LeFarte was on his way there, providing information to them to help them attack this town. We stopped him before he could reach them, though.

A vampire named Vladimir Vulgate is apparently leading the goblin army. I got a glimpse of him and recognized him from the bar back home. He might have gotten here the same way we did.

The army's way blocked by some sort of magical barrier, but I think they'll have figured out a way through before too long. I wonder if there's a way we can reinforce the wards, with all the wizards we got up in this bitch.
Turto LeFarte? Why, that little stinker! He's probably trying to get revenge for me punching him.
Turto LeFarte? Is he like, Furto's dad or something? I wouldn't be surprised... So uh, when are we leaving for the scary mountain? 'Cuz we should do that right about now, before the goblins get here.

I don't like goblins.

Edit: Also, Dudesoft, what happened to the whole "I'm gonna try to summon a raincloud" thing? Was that successful?
I say we stay until we can reinforce the barrier. I'll grab Aridaeth as a partner. I'm pretty sure he'll try to betray us at some point. I don't mind if we leave now, whatever the majority of us want.
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
5958
Rain would certainly not make it any easier to defend against an invading force. Quite the opposite, really. It would mask their movements, but the town's defenders would be in stationary locations, probably towers raised above the ground level that would still be easy to see. So I'd recommend not trying to summon a raincloud, unless it's too late.

I do have one idea to protect the town. But I want to see if any of the wizards can do anything first. Like summon a second, stronger barrier. Or, um, a minefield. Or just teleport us all somewhere.