Full Games List
Featured Games
New Games
Reviews
Media
Images
Blogs
Game Updates
Images Feedback Summary
Game Design Highlights
Tutorials
Articles
Scripts
Utilities / Plugins
Resources
Engines
Engine Bulletins
What is Makerscore?
Past Events
Achievements
Misaos
Forums
Post History
Chat
New to RMN?
Full Store List
RMN Music Pack (free)
5 MOST COMMON WRITING PITFALLS
Posts
InfiniteSeraph
View playlists
CloseBad Guy Notice
Please do not distribute, post, or profit from this material. This material is only allowed to be posted on my website, the forums with which I associate with, and on any webhoster/forum member's website/blog space whom has asked for my permission before posting or blogging it. Sale of this and any of my material, whether online or physically, is strictly prohibited.
Entertainment Notice
This material, and any material that I post, is strictly for entertainment and knowledge/learning purposes. It is not designed as a be-all, end-all tutorial. It is not designed to fix and/or alleviate your game or book of any negative criticism or hype, all of which should be expected when creating either a game or book. This material should solely be used as a guideline in addition to your current writing and creation style. Use at your own risk--I cannot guarantee or take responsibility for the use of this material.
Writing Style Notice
I am a very technical and theoretical writer. To me, it is just as important to know the background and theories of various subjects, supported by various examples...as opposed to, for example, listing five things that you could do to avoid cliches and character pitfalls. If you don't like how I write, move along.
Onwards.
Today's topic is going to be about story and character development. Most of us probably think that our storyline is perfect, and maybe some of us are reading this tutorial just to prove that our storyline and character development does not succumb to any of these pitfalls. Rest assured, 95% of already-created storylines and characters will reflect at least some of the pitfalls outlined below.
If you think about why role-playing games are vastly successful, you will find that:
Pitfall #5: One-dimensional storyline
I am in the process of putting together a website to review as many RPG Maker 2000/2003/XP games, as my time allows. I guarantee that most of the games I play will have (at least, hopefully!) this basic outline:
a) (Ideally) Hero lives in a living world,with real problems.
That is the problem. Our hero lives in a living world. A living world must show signs of life; essentially, it must show signs of growth and change, both in our character and in his world.
Let's consider Breath of Fire III for the PSOne as an example. Throughout the first half of the story (where Ryu starred as a child), Ryu is trying to find his friends Rei and Teepo when they were separated in the fire. The developers could have easily stuck Rei and Teepo at the other end of the world, and made you travel aimlessly throughout the storyline as you find them.
While Ryu is looking for Rei and Teepo:
As you can see, this storyline has a main plot, various sub-plots, and sub-plots within the sub-plots. It's not one-dimensional in any way, and every great RPG shares this factor...For contrast purposes, think about PSOne RPGs such as The Granstream Saga, or Guardian's Crusade. Both these published and released games feature a very one-dimensional storyline, involving a hero whose goal is to save the world. Within the story, there are few twists and little plot/sub-plot structure.
Back to our example from above. We will add to our hero's quest, making sure to add plot and subplots to the storyline for a real-world, complete feeling. Try to keep up:
Whew! However, all of this serves a very useful purpose. As you can see, I took a very basic plotline and added many levels of complexity to it. It took me longer to type it out then it really did to think it up---although a good storyline will make sense and the deeper subplots would aim to partly solve a larger subplot. Also, note that the plotline isn't necessarily in chronological order--only in thought-flow order. It ultimately doesn't matter, as long as the writer knows what happens when.
Note: If you really want to see how three-dimensional storylines play out, watch a soap opera/TV show, or some anime. Almost every anime has plots and subplots, with levels of complexity. Watch Dragon Ball Z/GT, Naruto, Bleach (great example). As for TV, try Heroes, Lost, Fringe, Dexter...the list goes on and on.
Pitfall #4: Pre-written Character Synopses
This is a very common error that almost every novice storyline writer/game publisher makes. Sometimes, it can become a serious problem depending on how the synopses are used. Here is an example of an average character synopsis:
Name: Jack
Age: 17
Occupation: Rogue CIA Operative
Class: Rogue
Race: Human infused with Type-1 enhancer.
Health: Superb
Description: A renegade super-agent from the Central Intelligence Agency, Jack seeks revenge for the mysterious kidnapping and killing of his wife and children.
Again, there is nothing wrong with a synopsis like this. In fact, it is great to use as a shell for a character, sort of a basic outline. However, the problem arises when we attempt to define who the character is, or how the character grows using a synopsis like the one below:
Name: Jill
Age: 18
Occupation: Lumberjack
Class: Warrior
Race: Lizardman
Health: Poor
Description: Usually despondent and tiresome. Has very poor health. Has little respect for herself, therefore avoids conflicts and is generally antisocial. Later learns to respect herself and get along with people.
Usually, when you create a shell as I just did with Jill (and it even happens sometimes with an example like Jack's), we end up creating an emotional "box" for our character. As every great writer will tell you---and you may have heard something like this before---our character grows regardless of our influence on them. They usually grow and "learn" to make decisions on their own; they feel emotions that we didn't think they would ever have; and we watch them change and transform into different characters as the situation calls for it, all while maturing before our very eyes.
To clarify this, think about a paper-and-pen game, such as Dungeons and Dragons. Dungeons and Dragons consists of at least two real-life players. One of the players is the Dungeon Master/Game Master, who determines what happens in the game. The dungeon master has no control over what the other players, the characters in the world, do. Or, what they don't do, for that matter. How they react when some conflict arises in the story. If I'm the dungeon master, and I create a monster for my players to fight, what's going to keep my players from running away? How about attempting to befriend the monster?
Please do not distribute, post, or profit from this material. This material is only allowed to be posted on my website, the forums with which I associate with, and on any webhoster/forum member's website/blog space whom has asked for my permission before posting or blogging it. Sale of this and any of my material, whether online or physically, is strictly prohibited.
Entertainment Notice
This material, and any material that I post, is strictly for entertainment and knowledge/learning purposes. It is not designed as a be-all, end-all tutorial. It is not designed to fix and/or alleviate your game or book of any negative criticism or hype, all of which should be expected when creating either a game or book. This material should solely be used as a guideline in addition to your current writing and creation style. Use at your own risk--I cannot guarantee or take responsibility for the use of this material.
Writing Style Notice
I am a very technical and theoretical writer. To me, it is just as important to know the background and theories of various subjects, supported by various examples...as opposed to, for example, listing five things that you could do to avoid cliches and character pitfalls. If you don't like how I write, move along.
Onwards.
Today's topic is going to be about story and character development. Most of us probably think that our storyline is perfect, and maybe some of us are reading this tutorial just to prove that our storyline and character development does not succumb to any of these pitfalls. Rest assured, 95% of already-created storylines and characters will reflect at least some of the pitfalls outlined below.
If you think about why role-playing games are vastly successful, you will find that:
- a) It is not the button-mashing, frantic action that is usually associated with most video games.
- b) It is not the real-life, simulated strategic-based play style that is associated with certain games (think Ace Combat, etc)
- c) It is not the puzzle or brain-twisting aspect that is associated with puzzle and logic games (although it could be a factor)
Pitfall #5: One-dimensional storyline
I am in the process of putting together a website to review as many RPG Maker 2000/2003/XP games, as my time allows. I guarantee that most of the games I play will have (at least, hopefully!) this basic outline:
- a) Hero lives in a living world, with real problems.
- b) Hero encounters a conflict, and aims to solve the conflict.
- c) En route to solving the conflict, hero befriends various other characters.
- d) Hero resolves the conflict, and saves the world/his family/his sanity/whatever.
a) (Ideally) Hero lives in a living world,with real problems.
That is the problem. Our hero lives in a living world. A living world must show signs of life; essentially, it must show signs of growth and change, both in our character and in his world.
Let's consider Breath of Fire III for the PSOne as an example. Throughout the first half of the story (where Ryu starred as a child), Ryu is trying to find his friends Rei and Teepo when they were separated in the fire. The developers could have easily stuck Rei and Teepo at the other end of the world, and made you travel aimlessly throughout the storyline as you find them.
While Ryu is looking for Rei and Teepo:
- a) Mayor McNeil contracted two hit men, Balio and Sunder, to eliminate Ryu and his band of friends as revenge for stealing from him.
- a1) Young Ryu is learning about his dragon abilities and potential.
- b) Nina, his new friend and Princess of Wyndia, aids him in hiding from Balio and Sunder, and they successfully flee from the castle.
- b1) Nina is tired of the castle life, and her childish curiosity longs to see the outside walls.
- b2) Ryu sees more of his ability take shape, and learns more transformations.
- c) They come across a large tower while being chased by Balio and Sunder at every corner, as well as other bounty hunters looking for a score.
- d) Momo, the eccentric and absent-minded teenage genius, just finished her latest and greatest mobile rocket, which helps them escape from the hitmen.
- d1) Momo's father's colleague, Dr. Platt, can help Ryu locate his friends while hiding.
- d1a) Dr. Platt is secretly in league with the hit men, and double-crosses Ryu and his friends.
- d2) Ryu is still learning more about his dragon powers, which adds complexity and some confusion to his character.
As you can see, this storyline has a main plot, various sub-plots, and sub-plots within the sub-plots. It's not one-dimensional in any way, and every great RPG shares this factor...For contrast purposes, think about PSOne RPGs such as The Granstream Saga, or Guardian's Crusade. Both these published and released games feature a very one-dimensional storyline, involving a hero whose goal is to save the world. Within the story, there are few twists and little plot/sub-plot structure.
Back to our example from above. We will add to our hero's quest, making sure to add plot and subplots to the storyline for a real-world, complete feeling. Try to keep up:
- a) Hero lives in an alive world, with real problems.
- a1) Hero's country is over-ridden with a disease that is being spread like wildfire. He seeks a remedy.
- a1a) During the course of his journey, he must find ten ancient ingredients that may aid his country.
- b) Hero encounters a conflict, and aims to solve the conflict.
- b1) Hero hears about four evil warriors whom he must avoid at all costs lest he be eliminated.
- b1a) One of the 'evil' warriors may join the Hero's party under certain conditions.
- b2) Hero must befriend the neighboring castles and towns in hopes of alliance against this new conflict.
- b2a) One of the neighboring kingdoms agrees to the alliance, but is secretly in league with the conflict.
- b2b) Another neighboring kingdom hears about the first kingdoms plans and conspires to stop them on their own.
- b2b1) Those two kingdoms end up going to war during the turmoil.
- b2b1a) The war of these two major economic powerhouses results in large price spikes of particular commodities.
- b3) A global calamity strikes and the world bows to a new, all-powerful wizard who was behind the original conflict.
- c) En route to solving the conflict, hero befriends various other characters.
- c1) Friend A is a "lunatic" who raves about foreseeing the coming destruction of the world as we know it.
- c2) Friend B is the lunatic's guard keeper who was assigned to stay with the lunatic.
- c2a) Friend A & B are constantly bickering and have vastly differing opinions about everything.
- c2b) Friend B slowly realizes that some of Friend As predictions are coming true, such as the "flying sun" (comet).
- d) Hero resolves the conflict, and saves the world/his family/his sanity/whatever.
- d1) What happens to the hero's country?
- d1a) Did our hero collect the ancient ingredients?
- d2) What happened to the four evil warriors?
- d3) What became of the lunatic after the calamity strikes?
- d4) Etc, etc.
Whew! However, all of this serves a very useful purpose. As you can see, I took a very basic plotline and added many levels of complexity to it. It took me longer to type it out then it really did to think it up---although a good storyline will make sense and the deeper subplots would aim to partly solve a larger subplot. Also, note that the plotline isn't necessarily in chronological order--only in thought-flow order. It ultimately doesn't matter, as long as the writer knows what happens when.
Note: If you really want to see how three-dimensional storylines play out, watch a soap opera/TV show, or some anime. Almost every anime has plots and subplots, with levels of complexity. Watch Dragon Ball Z/GT, Naruto, Bleach (great example). As for TV, try Heroes, Lost, Fringe, Dexter...the list goes on and on.
Pitfall #4: Pre-written Character Synopses
This is a very common error that almost every novice storyline writer/game publisher makes. Sometimes, it can become a serious problem depending on how the synopses are used. Here is an example of an average character synopsis:
Name: Jack
Age: 17
Occupation: Rogue CIA Operative
Class: Rogue
Race: Human infused with Type-1 enhancer.
Health: Superb
Description: A renegade super-agent from the Central Intelligence Agency, Jack seeks revenge for the mysterious kidnapping and killing of his wife and children.
Again, there is nothing wrong with a synopsis like this. In fact, it is great to use as a shell for a character, sort of a basic outline. However, the problem arises when we attempt to define who the character is, or how the character grows using a synopsis like the one below:
Name: Jill
Age: 18
Occupation: Lumberjack
Class: Warrior
Race: Lizardman
Health: Poor
Description: Usually despondent and tiresome. Has very poor health. Has little respect for herself, therefore avoids conflicts and is generally antisocial. Later learns to respect herself and get along with people.
Usually, when you create a shell as I just did with Jill (and it even happens sometimes with an example like Jack's), we end up creating an emotional "box" for our character. As every great writer will tell you---and you may have heard something like this before---our character grows regardless of our influence on them. They usually grow and "learn" to make decisions on their own; they feel emotions that we didn't think they would ever have; and we watch them change and transform into different characters as the situation calls for it, all while maturing before our very eyes.
To clarify this, think about a paper-and-pen game, such as Dungeons and Dragons. Dungeons and Dragons consists of at least two real-life players. One of the players is the Dungeon Master/Game Master, who determines what happens in the game. The dungeon master has no control over what the other players, the characters in the world, do. Or, what they don't do, for that matter. How they react when some conflict arises in the story. If I'm the dungeon master, and I create a monster for my players to fight, what's going to keep my players from running away? How about attempting to befriend the monster?
Pitfall #3: Character Development; Attachment & Detachment
In every great story, there is at least one character we love. We can't imagine reading, or watching this story unfold without this character. The character makes us laugh, and cry, feel happy for them at times, and sorry for them at others. This is what I call Character Attachment, and is a very important factor in character development. And funnily enough, sometimes we feel for a character that we didn't care much for to begin with.
Squaresoft did this beautifully with the death of Aeris. I can't speak for everyone, but *I* didn't care much for her during the storyline. While she was a decent character, I personally felt that after the adventure began she was rather shallow, and I lost interest in her. But then Sephiroth went and killed her, and while Cloud didn't shed a single tear, we could feel the sadness that he emitted, the anger that he felt during that scene. We wanted to go into the game and kill Sephiroth ourselves, and ask him why he did it, and kill him again.
And that was our (unknown) attachment to Aeris. We loved her for what she was, and while we didn't care for her much during the storyline, we definitely didn't want her dead.
The flipside of this is detachment. Using Final Fantasy VII again, we felt detached to certain characters whose presence was awkwardly accepted, at best. Cait Sith is a great example--sure, he's not a bad character, but if Sephiroth would have killed Cait Sith, it wouldn't have mattered what music Squaresoft played during the scene. No one would have really felt sorrow, or cared at all.
Now, a different example from another game, is Crono from Chrono Trigger (SNES). To me, Crono sort of served as a vessel and leader of a group of interesting and diverse characters, from Frog and Magus, to Ayla and Marla. However, because Crono himself doesn't utter a single word, nor does he emit any sort of emotion at any point in the game, we can't help but feel detached from him during the story. It's not even a conscious matter (which is evident from the death of Aeris), and the fact that this choice isn't conscious is important in itself.
So in our stories, do we feel that our characters are likeable? And not only likeable, but do they arouse an emotion inside of us at some point? Read about human emotion and how/when it arises. Think about different movies, television shows, animes and video games that made you feel a certain way. How many of us felt like we were on the edge of our seat while watching Braveheart?
How many of us cried at the end of Titanic, even though most of the rest of the movie was light-hearted and fun? (Psst: Titanic is a great example of plots, subplots, and plots within those subplots. Watch it again, and you'll see what I mean.)
Pitfall #2: Closed-ended Storylines, and End-All Be-All Endings
One of the magical things about a game such as Final Fantasy X is that the ending involved Tidus swimming to a shore, after he was sent off to Dream Zanarkand. Sin was destroyed, and we knew that Tidus was alive, and somewhere in Spira, but we just don't know where. And the story closed out, and we had to wait until Final Fantasy X-2 came out and shell out another $49.99 to find out what happened.
The fantastic thing about not having an open-ended storyline is the buzz that it generates on online websites and forums. It's sort of like when a season of a television show is over--the very next day, the forums are alive with predictions and suppositions; Who is going to die, how and why they will die, etc.
Open-ended storyline generates hype and buzz. At the end of an episode of anime, or a good television series, you are feeling a myriad of emotion and mental stimulation. For example:
While I certainly don't suggest making someone play your game for 40+ hours and not giving them something that can constitute as an ending (even if you leave a few threads of storyline available for a future edition), I generally always suggest that you end your demo at a climactic point in the storyline.
For example, which one of these two endings would leave you feeling more apprehensive and mentally stimulated?
1) Jack enters the Cave of Truth, in which he will find out that his wife is actually not deceased, but a leading member of an anti-government organization that is conspiring to destroy the CIA and all of its super operatives. Jack's wife leaves a biologically enhanced monster to kill Jack, and crosses Jack off her list. Jack fights the monster and wins.
End of demo
Or:
2) Later in the storyline, Jack is searching for his ex-wife's secret organization to destroy them once and for all. While he is closing in on the base, he opens a door to find his children, alive, bound and gagged with a gun pointed to their heads.
"Move and I'll shoot, you son of a bitch!"
End of demo
While I can't speak for everyone, I think the second one would make a much better ending to a current demo, even if you have more storyline already developed. Your players will definitely remember your storyline, and you better believe that they will be clamoring for an update sooner rather than later. And you can even start a thread to have them "suggest" what happens next (generate more buzz on your game) and predict the ending, etc.
In saying that, why do I see that most demos end the first way? It's something of a mystery to me, and should be corrected, for your fans' sake! Think about the ending of a great Bleach, or Heroes episode---it ends on a cliffhanger, and you're clamoring for the next episode!
Pitfall #1: Static, and slow, story development.
Finally, this is the most common problem with stories on the market today, both novice-created and published/released. It is the rate, and flow, of which the story is being unfolded. This pitfall not only applies to big-name RPGs, including Final Fantasy VIII, parts of IX; it also applies to many books (Lord of the Rings, amongst others), movies (Rendition, amongst others) television shows/animes (Dragon Ball Z; Lost; amongst others), and pretty much any medium that tells a story is susceptible to this pitfall.
As I stated at the start of this article, RPGs are doing so well because of the story they are trying to portray. If, for whatever reason, this storyline becomes boring, hard-to-follow, or generally loses the interest of the player, they are very, very likely to stop playing your game. Period. It may only be for a period of time, or it may be indefinite. Let's look at an example which is sure to cause a stir of memories: Xenosaga: Episode I.
Xenosaga is the sequel to the underrated, and much sought after (especially now!) PSOne hit Xenogears. Xenosaga was HUGELY anticipated by it's fans, and it offers over 20 hours of awesome-looking CGI-animation cutscene (Yes. 20. Hours. Of. Movie.) Now, because they are offering so much storyline, you would figure that they have an exciting, and interesting story that will grip you from the beginning and won't let go until you are watching the ending credits.
Wrong. In fact, almost from the beginning, the whole storyline is a snoozefest. This is a shame, because it was originally slated to boost sales of the PS3 by releasing six parts of the storyline: 3 on the PS2, and 3 on the PS3. We would play the first three parts, clamor for more, and buy a PS3 along with the next three parts. However, because of the failure of Episode 1, the idea was scrapped, and they hastily told the story in the following two parts. In fact, the failure of Episode I lowered the sales of the succeeding episodes, which in itself is a shame...because the succeeding two games are where the storyline picks itself up.
For our purposes, stagnation in our storyline will be slightly difficult to diagnose, but it is possible. One idea I had to find out where your storyline lose steam:
Ask fellow members to "beta-test" your game. Then, ask them to record on paper at what point they start playing, how long they play, and at what point they stop playing. Of course, the next time they play they will record the dates and times they begin playing again. This is an example of how this would work:
October 1, 2008
9:00 AM
Start playing: Beginning.
11:30 AM
End playing: After I defeated the robot and recovered the scrap metal.
October 1, 2008
12:30 PM
Start playing: Use the scrap metal to build the airship.
1:00 PM
End playing: Have access to the airship, not sure where to go.
October 3, 2008
4:00PM
Start playing: Have access to the airship, found out where to go
11:00PM
End playing: Beat the game, ending credits.
With this (horribly narrated) example, we can see that they played the game for two and-a-half hours. The plowed through the beginning, and we can assume that they enjoyed the game until they defeat the robot, and recovered the scrap metal. For some reason, at this point, they found something better to do with their time (maybe lunch-time?) but returned an hour later to build an airship with the scrap metal. Half an hour later, they had no idea what to do with the airship, and didn't play for two days.
Then, on October 3rd, they found some time in their afternoon---found out what to do to continue the storyline, and played the game for 7 hours straight until they beat it. We can assume, then, that this game needs some revision between having access to the airship and the next event, which might be to return to the characters hometown to show it off to his friends. Since we never made it clear to the player, they lost interest at this point and decide that they have better things to do with their time---and ultimately, they don't think highly of your game.
Many stories encounter some of these problems at some point, and it's important to correct the problem as soon as it turns up. Sometimes, it's a simple solution or tweaking---however, some storyline problems can take days to plan out and apply. The most important thing is to make sure that the characters remain true to themselves, and remember: they are their own being. A character will grow as the storyline moves on....he may have been talking about saving the world at the onset of the game, but he's beginning to realize the price that his family will pay at the expense of his meandering.
Hope this helped!
In every great story, there is at least one character we love. We can't imagine reading, or watching this story unfold without this character. The character makes us laugh, and cry, feel happy for them at times, and sorry for them at others. This is what I call Character Attachment, and is a very important factor in character development. And funnily enough, sometimes we feel for a character that we didn't care much for to begin with.
Squaresoft did this beautifully with the death of Aeris. I can't speak for everyone, but *I* didn't care much for her during the storyline. While she was a decent character, I personally felt that after the adventure began she was rather shallow, and I lost interest in her. But then Sephiroth went and killed her, and while Cloud didn't shed a single tear, we could feel the sadness that he emitted, the anger that he felt during that scene. We wanted to go into the game and kill Sephiroth ourselves, and ask him why he did it, and kill him again.
And that was our (unknown) attachment to Aeris. We loved her for what she was, and while we didn't care for her much during the storyline, we definitely didn't want her dead.
The flipside of this is detachment. Using Final Fantasy VII again, we felt detached to certain characters whose presence was awkwardly accepted, at best. Cait Sith is a great example--sure, he's not a bad character, but if Sephiroth would have killed Cait Sith, it wouldn't have mattered what music Squaresoft played during the scene. No one would have really felt sorrow, or cared at all.
Now, a different example from another game, is Crono from Chrono Trigger (SNES). To me, Crono sort of served as a vessel and leader of a group of interesting and diverse characters, from Frog and Magus, to Ayla and Marla. However, because Crono himself doesn't utter a single word, nor does he emit any sort of emotion at any point in the game, we can't help but feel detached from him during the story. It's not even a conscious matter (which is evident from the death of Aeris), and the fact that this choice isn't conscious is important in itself.
So in our stories, do we feel that our characters are likeable? And not only likeable, but do they arouse an emotion inside of us at some point? Read about human emotion and how/when it arises. Think about different movies, television shows, animes and video games that made you feel a certain way. How many of us felt like we were on the edge of our seat while watching Braveheart?
How many of us cried at the end of Titanic, even though most of the rest of the movie was light-hearted and fun? (Psst: Titanic is a great example of plots, subplots, and plots within those subplots. Watch it again, and you'll see what I mean.)
Pitfall #2: Closed-ended Storylines, and End-All Be-All Endings
One of the magical things about a game such as Final Fantasy X is that the ending involved Tidus swimming to a shore, after he was sent off to Dream Zanarkand. Sin was destroyed, and we knew that Tidus was alive, and somewhere in Spira, but we just don't know where. And the story closed out, and we had to wait until Final Fantasy X-2 came out and shell out another $49.99 to find out what happened.
The fantastic thing about not having an open-ended storyline is the buzz that it generates on online websites and forums. It's sort of like when a season of a television show is over--the very next day, the forums are alive with predictions and suppositions; Who is going to die, how and why they will die, etc.
Open-ended storyline generates hype and buzz. At the end of an episode of anime, or a good television series, you are feeling a myriad of emotion and mental stimulation. For example:
- a) You are distressed because you want the show to continue.
- b) You are excited to find out how the show will continue.
- c) You are thinking about the variable possibilities of the show.
- d) You are wondering how the show will end.
- e) Etc, etc.
While I certainly don't suggest making someone play your game for 40+ hours and not giving them something that can constitute as an ending (even if you leave a few threads of storyline available for a future edition), I generally always suggest that you end your demo at a climactic point in the storyline.
For example, which one of these two endings would leave you feeling more apprehensive and mentally stimulated?
1) Jack enters the Cave of Truth, in which he will find out that his wife is actually not deceased, but a leading member of an anti-government organization that is conspiring to destroy the CIA and all of its super operatives. Jack's wife leaves a biologically enhanced monster to kill Jack, and crosses Jack off her list. Jack fights the monster and wins.
End of demo
Or:
2) Later in the storyline, Jack is searching for his ex-wife's secret organization to destroy them once and for all. While he is closing in on the base, he opens a door to find his children, alive, bound and gagged with a gun pointed to their heads.
"Move and I'll shoot, you son of a bitch!"
End of demo
While I can't speak for everyone, I think the second one would make a much better ending to a current demo, even if you have more storyline already developed. Your players will definitely remember your storyline, and you better believe that they will be clamoring for an update sooner rather than later. And you can even start a thread to have them "suggest" what happens next (generate more buzz on your game) and predict the ending, etc.
In saying that, why do I see that most demos end the first way? It's something of a mystery to me, and should be corrected, for your fans' sake! Think about the ending of a great Bleach, or Heroes episode---it ends on a cliffhanger, and you're clamoring for the next episode!
Pitfall #1: Static, and slow, story development.
Finally, this is the most common problem with stories on the market today, both novice-created and published/released. It is the rate, and flow, of which the story is being unfolded. This pitfall not only applies to big-name RPGs, including Final Fantasy VIII, parts of IX; it also applies to many books (Lord of the Rings, amongst others), movies (Rendition, amongst others) television shows/animes (Dragon Ball Z; Lost; amongst others), and pretty much any medium that tells a story is susceptible to this pitfall.
As I stated at the start of this article, RPGs are doing so well because of the story they are trying to portray. If, for whatever reason, this storyline becomes boring, hard-to-follow, or generally loses the interest of the player, they are very, very likely to stop playing your game. Period. It may only be for a period of time, or it may be indefinite. Let's look at an example which is sure to cause a stir of memories: Xenosaga: Episode I.
Xenosaga is the sequel to the underrated, and much sought after (especially now!) PSOne hit Xenogears. Xenosaga was HUGELY anticipated by it's fans, and it offers over 20 hours of awesome-looking CGI-animation cutscene (Yes. 20. Hours. Of. Movie.) Now, because they are offering so much storyline, you would figure that they have an exciting, and interesting story that will grip you from the beginning and won't let go until you are watching the ending credits.
Wrong. In fact, almost from the beginning, the whole storyline is a snoozefest. This is a shame, because it was originally slated to boost sales of the PS3 by releasing six parts of the storyline: 3 on the PS2, and 3 on the PS3. We would play the first three parts, clamor for more, and buy a PS3 along with the next three parts. However, because of the failure of Episode 1, the idea was scrapped, and they hastily told the story in the following two parts. In fact, the failure of Episode I lowered the sales of the succeeding episodes, which in itself is a shame...because the succeeding two games are where the storyline picks itself up.
For our purposes, stagnation in our storyline will be slightly difficult to diagnose, but it is possible. One idea I had to find out where your storyline lose steam:
Ask fellow members to "beta-test" your game. Then, ask them to record on paper at what point they start playing, how long they play, and at what point they stop playing. Of course, the next time they play they will record the dates and times they begin playing again. This is an example of how this would work:
October 1, 2008
9:00 AM
Start playing: Beginning.
11:30 AM
End playing: After I defeated the robot and recovered the scrap metal.
October 1, 2008
12:30 PM
Start playing: Use the scrap metal to build the airship.
1:00 PM
End playing: Have access to the airship, not sure where to go.
October 3, 2008
4:00PM
Start playing: Have access to the airship, found out where to go
11:00PM
End playing: Beat the game, ending credits.
With this (horribly narrated) example, we can see that they played the game for two and-a-half hours. The plowed through the beginning, and we can assume that they enjoyed the game until they defeat the robot, and recovered the scrap metal. For some reason, at this point, they found something better to do with their time (maybe lunch-time?) but returned an hour later to build an airship with the scrap metal. Half an hour later, they had no idea what to do with the airship, and didn't play for two days.
Then, on October 3rd, they found some time in their afternoon---found out what to do to continue the storyline, and played the game for 7 hours straight until they beat it. We can assume, then, that this game needs some revision between having access to the airship and the next event, which might be to return to the characters hometown to show it off to his friends. Since we never made it clear to the player, they lost interest at this point and decide that they have better things to do with their time---and ultimately, they don't think highly of your game.
Many stories encounter some of these problems at some point, and it's important to correct the problem as soon as it turns up. Sometimes, it's a simple solution or tweaking---however, some storyline problems can take days to plan out and apply. The most important thing is to make sure that the characters remain true to themselves, and remember: they are their own being. A character will grow as the storyline moves on....he may have been talking about saving the world at the onset of the game, but he's beginning to realize the price that his family will pay at the expense of his meandering.
Hope this helped!
I'm new to this forum, but I've posted this particular article/tutorial on other forums, where they have gotten massive feedback. I was asked by a few community members who visit both forums to post it on here, so here it is. Anyone looking for a permanent/printable version will find it in our Articles section, under Writer's Block.
My name is Seraph, I introduced myself already. I don't consider myself anything really special in terms of development, but I do have a few ideas in terms of writing. Anytime I come up with a new tutorial and/or article, I will make sure to post it on here--especially if people find this one helpful.
Enjoy, and please--feedback! Constructive critism, using quotes, is always helpful...I am currently writing my own storyline, and I will probably employ a member or two from the vast amount of forums available to create a game out of it. Not that it means much, because I will want to finish the story before I even begin production. :P
Again, enjoy!
My name is Seraph, I introduced myself already. I don't consider myself anything really special in terms of development, but I do have a few ideas in terms of writing. Anytime I come up with a new tutorial and/or article, I will make sure to post it on here--especially if people find this one helpful.
Enjoy, and please--feedback! Constructive critism, using quotes, is always helpful...I am currently writing my own storyline, and I will probably employ a member or two from the vast amount of forums available to create a game out of it. Not that it means much, because I will want to finish the story before I even begin production. :P
Again, enjoy!
McDohl, this is pretty solid article, and it's shorter than the cover article of a TIME. As such, good job on this! Tying in well-known examples and pointing out issues/good ideas is fantastic.
bobthebobish
690
Nice article. I especially like how you not only point out said pitfalls but you actually give some very good ways to diagnose where they are objectively. If only I'll have to keep a bookmark on this one for when I'm done testing/re-designing for balance and when I get back to story again.
Thanks!
Thanks!
Thanks, you two! I have posted this around various forums, and the only constant gripe I get is that it's too generic etc. But I think it serves well as a sort of platform/base for creators to continue from, and it does offer good ideas. My personal favorites in my writing are plots and subplots, and the ideas that the characters should grow within the context of your story.
Of course, no matter how great your story is, chances are players want to play a game, and not watch a movie. Sometimes I have to keep that in mind while I'm writing the next Final Fantasy game ;). It's difficult, but generally a great story will lend to keep the players interested...balance is generally key.
Look forward to my upcoming article, Writing Tactics: Innovative Writing for RPGs!
Edit: I used to be associated with this forum! I associated with DragonSlayer & Ramirez...in particular, Ramirez & I had an idea for a great game back six-seven years ago, but we never got around to developing it. Is he still around?
Of course, no matter how great your story is, chances are players want to play a game, and not watch a movie. Sometimes I have to keep that in mind while I'm writing the next Final Fantasy game ;). It's difficult, but generally a great story will lend to keep the players interested...balance is generally key.
Look forward to my upcoming article, Writing Tactics: Innovative Writing for RPGs!
Edit: I used to be associated with this forum! I associated with DragonSlayer & Ramirez...in particular, Ramirez & I had an idea for a great game back six-seven years ago, but we never got around to developing it. Is he still around?
McDohl
120
author=Craze link=topic=2136.msg35505#msg35505 date=1222966041
McDohl, this is pretty solid article, and it's shorter than the cover article of a TIME. As such, good job on this! Tying in well-known examples and pointing out issues/good ideas is fantastic.
You really need two posts to make five points? That's insane. It's inane.
Wall of text also comes to mind.
author=Craze link=topic=2136.msg35505#msg35505 date=1222966041
Tying in well-known examples and pointing out issues/good ideas is fantastic.
author=bobthebobish link=topic=2136.msg35506#msg35506 date=1222966162
Nice article. I especially like how you not only point out said pitfalls but you actually give some very good ways to diagnose where they are objectively.
'nuff said.
Omcifer
0
You're BloodyAsura on GW, right? I like you articles, keep them coming. Also, try not to listen to some of the morons on GW.
Hey RPGMaker.net:
I just finished proofing Writing Tactics: Innovative Writing for RPGs!
I will do my best to post it in the next fifteen minutes.
Enjoy!
I just finished proofing Writing Tactics: Innovative Writing for RPGs!
I will do my best to post it in the next fifteen minutes.
Enjoy!
Hello and welcome to RMN! I am that guy who e-mailed you re: your (same) article on GW. (Regarding the post-script of my e-mail, my Release Something demo and dump, Mage Duel and Shadowrun: Missions, respectively, are not the best examples of my writing/game design, just the most recent and the only ones that can be found on this site). You can also find real life evidence of me bitching about my unemployment basically all over this website's forums.
Anyway, I still look forward to getting your complete response (via e-mail, please) to my e-mail query. I'm not stalking you or anything, I just post here A LOT.
Also, this.
Anyway, I still look forward to getting your complete response (via e-mail, please) to my e-mail query. I'm not stalking you or anything, I just post here A LOT.
You're BloodyAsura on GW, right? I like you articles, keep them coming. Also, try not to listen tosomeany of the morons on GW.
Also, this.
demondestiny
889
Well, i mainly skimmed through those articles but they are good from what i read. If you haven't submitted this to the site i suggest you do.
Shinan
4314
I don't get #4. I don't see what is wrong with a character outline. I can see how being set to a path might be a bad thing. But I also think it is a good thing to have (in a linear game, which I think is what you're talking about. At least it seems that way) a goal in mind before doing all the detail work.
It's a way to stay on target. Having a character goal in the character synopsis might help later when you piece the things together. "This character is doing weird stuff. Oh his goal was that... Hmm it makes sense now to change this and this and now the arc seems to be coming along nicely again".
Your DnD example is a perfect example of what a character synopsis is GOOD for. With a synopsis that tells the basics about the character's personality you can anticipate the action the character will make when faced with a monster.
I also disagree with open endings in #2. The main story arc should always be complete. If you leave a couple of subplots hanging, no big deal but if you don't finish the main arc people will go on the web not discussing "what do you think happened..." but "what the fuck why didn't they give us a real ending?"
Your example with a season (or even more so with a series) finale was about the buzz after an episode. But that's just not true. The most buzz is always BEFORE the episode. People discuss and debate who is going to die, who is the final cylon and what the hell is up with Locke. If, after the episode, these questions aren't answered they are a very unhappy bunch. Because there were expectations and they weren't fulfilled.
I'd have to say that demos should probably follow a similar path. There was some developer who asked people a bunch of questions about the games they want to play and how they wanted to play them. Basically standard market research. On demos, he had been a guy who put out shorter demos that so to speak ended "prematurely", in order to make the player want to see what happends and get the game.
People think demos are too short. My demos *are* short, because the marketing man in me sees that you can't give away too much. I've wanted people to feel a bit annoyed when the demo cuts out, so they buy the game to keep playing. Too many people are put off by this and pirate games so they can see exactly what they are getting. I'll be making my demos much better, and longer, and will retrospectively change this when I get around to it for some of my older games. (I'm swamped with work right now)
Basically I think that demos should be fairly self-contained. Having a limited amount of good stuff, but still have the good stuff. For example in non-RPGs the "mission", finish a mission and feel good about yourself. Then in the post-mission briefing get a tidbit of good stuff to come. Essentially a demo's plot arc should be complete. However the demo's plot arc shouldn't be the same as the game's. Instead the arc should be a subplot you complete with the game arc doing its thing in the background.
Of course with RPGs this can also be a problem. Because RPG beginnings are usually boring Tutorial shite that no one wants to suffer through, however making a demo in media res can also be troublesome without the necessary introductions. I've seen a couple of RPGs that have basically made a contained mini-scenario demo that isn't actually in the completed game. (The Fallout demo is the one that hit me and the reasong I'm writing this paragraph at all. That demo was a small junktown with a couple of people and motivations and solutions to a problem. And it set a mood, a scenario, a setting and the openness of the game. And you could replay it a lot just to see all the different available outcomes! It was the game in mini demo format. And afterwards I knew I had to have it.)
It's a way to stay on target. Having a character goal in the character synopsis might help later when you piece the things together. "This character is doing weird stuff. Oh his goal was that... Hmm it makes sense now to change this and this and now the arc seems to be coming along nicely again".
Your DnD example is a perfect example of what a character synopsis is GOOD for. With a synopsis that tells the basics about the character's personality you can anticipate the action the character will make when faced with a monster.
I also disagree with open endings in #2. The main story arc should always be complete. If you leave a couple of subplots hanging, no big deal but if you don't finish the main arc people will go on the web not discussing "what do you think happened..." but "what the fuck why didn't they give us a real ending?"
Your example with a season (or even more so with a series) finale was about the buzz after an episode. But that's just not true. The most buzz is always BEFORE the episode. People discuss and debate who is going to die, who is the final cylon and what the hell is up with Locke. If, after the episode, these questions aren't answered they are a very unhappy bunch. Because there were expectations and they weren't fulfilled.
I'd have to say that demos should probably follow a similar path. There was some developer who asked people a bunch of questions about the games they want to play and how they wanted to play them. Basically standard market research. On demos, he had been a guy who put out shorter demos that so to speak ended "prematurely", in order to make the player want to see what happends and get the game.
People think demos are too short. My demos *are* short, because the marketing man in me sees that you can't give away too much. I've wanted people to feel a bit annoyed when the demo cuts out, so they buy the game to keep playing. Too many people are put off by this and pirate games so they can see exactly what they are getting. I'll be making my demos much better, and longer, and will retrospectively change this when I get around to it for some of my older games. (I'm swamped with work right now)
Basically I think that demos should be fairly self-contained. Having a limited amount of good stuff, but still have the good stuff. For example in non-RPGs the "mission", finish a mission and feel good about yourself. Then in the post-mission briefing get a tidbit of good stuff to come. Essentially a demo's plot arc should be complete. However the demo's plot arc shouldn't be the same as the game's. Instead the arc should be a subplot you complete with the game arc doing its thing in the background.
Of course with RPGs this can also be a problem. Because RPG beginnings are usually boring Tutorial shite that no one wants to suffer through, however making a demo in media res can also be troublesome without the necessary introductions. I've seen a couple of RPGs that have basically made a contained mini-scenario demo that isn't actually in the completed game. (The Fallout demo is the one that hit me and the reasong I'm writing this paragraph at all. That demo was a small junktown with a couple of people and motivations and solutions to a problem. And it set a mood, a scenario, a setting and the openness of the game. And you could replay it a lot just to see all the different available outcomes! It was the game in mini demo format. And afterwards I knew I had to have it.)
maladroithim
1495
author=Omcifer link=topic=2136.msg35520#msg35520 date=1222969830
Also, try not to listen to some of the morons on GW.
We keep telling you guys this OVER AND OVER but please stop bashing GW in your posts at RMN.
