RELATIONS WITH THE GENDER OF YOUR PREFERENCE

Women are not monsters and you have nothing to be afraid of.

Fixed.

author=brandonabley link=topic=2473.msg48811#msg48811 date=1228320018
But if you like to make yourself miserable by silently pining after some girl, be my guest. Just be aware that you will regret it for the rest of your life (there are at least three girls in particular that I am thinking of whom I was afraid to ask out in high school).

Funny enough, there was only one girl I liked a lot in high school and couldn´t open to her... we didn´t lost contact and I we may be going out together, as friends soon, so maybe something happens (it all depends in how I will feel seeing her again).

author=arcan link=topic=2473.msg49246#msg49246 date=1228450644
Someone tell me a way to keep my mind of things so I won't be such a baby in stressful situations.

I think that if anyone really knew that, humans would be much happier in general.

Basically, I just sort of go after people I like without reminding myself that I might be rejected. You have to play the game a little (a lot) if you're someone who's insecure and afraid of rejection, so you're at the point where the odds are in your favor. Does that make sense?

Also, something my mom always helped me with when I was a kid - she always used to ask me, what is the worst thing that could ACTUALLY happen. Seems like you imagine pretty stressful hypothetical situations, but when you get down to it, the most likely worst scenario is, as I said before, she says no and you're in the same position you're in now. It helps to take a deep breath and remind yourself that rocks won't fall, the sky won't open up and rain fire, and you'll pull through eventually no matter what goes down.

But I'm also not the most balanced person in the world, so take this with a grain of salt : ).

Chaos: sorry to break it but... time to move on. Maybe, if you feel you need, take sometime away from her and distract yourself with something else.

April: your mom said the exact same thing as my dad :P

You did what you had to do, and you got shot down. It happens to all of us. Once you realize how many girls are really out there you won't sweat it as much. Pull yourself away from the girl, and focus your attention elsewhere.

But like I said, once you take off the goggles and really realize how many other girls are out there, you'll put things in perspective; be grateful you weren't dating her and then you broke up, that's much more painful, and guess what, people move on from that as well.

"The book" (http://www.amazon.com/Layguide-Seduce-Beautiful-Dreamed-Possible/dp/0806526025) will tell you to vaguely insult the girl and talk about something completely unrelated to her. I don't know if the first part works, so I'm going to go with the second.

Don't eagerly rush up to her, wait and see if you can bump into her in a more natural way. Then comment on something in your surroundings that might be common to both your interests. Like if you're in a bookstore, talk about the books in the section. Make it seem like you're there for the section and not for her. "Oh, sorry I'm looking for (such and such) author," maybe ask her if she's seen it while she was over here, or maybe ask her to move out of the way if she's near the book you're looking for.

Then you can maybe strike up a conversation about the author, the book, some other stuff. The goal here is to seem interesting and deep, and not just some desperate guy who compliments women he barely knows (and yes, I know, just because you're complimentary doesn't mean you're desperate, but in the unfathomable mysterious workings of the female mind, it tends to come off that way).

Yeah. But I can't say I've had much opportunity to just ask people on dates, because I'm a serial monogamist. The last time I hit on someone I didn't know was at a mutual friend's birthday party a little over 4 years ago. I asked him how he felt about this one anime, then blatantly asked him if he was gay. We dated for 2 years. Don't try that one at home, though, folks.

author=arcan link=topic=2473.msg49321#msg49321 date=1228509701
What do you do in a situation where you just happen to see a really hot girl on the streets and she makes it noticable that shes interested but you don't know her so it would be akward to stop and chat.

You tell her she is pretty and ask her if she likes ballet. If she says yes, offer to take her to one. If she says no, offer to take her to one anyway.

This is how I met my girlfriend but I don't think she likes me very much anymore. Anyway it was successful in hooking us up.

author=Feldschlacht IV link=topic=2473.msg49347#msg49347 date=1228511874
I know people don't like hearing this, but a certain degree of arrogance attracts women like absolutely nothing else in the world.

That's because we're easily led by our ovaries. Deep down, we females of the species want to mate with the males with the best genes. It's like how male birds have the most brilliant plumage - it's a way that we "know" that we're going to be making awesome babies instead of loser babies.

Also, it is a perhaps false indicator of whether someone has a life beyond women, which makes you (again) seem deep and non-desperate.

author=Feldschlacht IV link=topic=2473.msg49347#msg49347 date=1228511874
I know people don't like hearing this, but a certain degree of arrogance attracts women like absolutely nothing else in the world.

People don't like hearing that? I don't know, I always kind of knew this.

Sorry pal, but we are not bards here, best we can do is say what you can do, we can´t heal your wounds no matter what we say. If that didn´t help much...