WORST. GAME. EVER.
Posts
Alright, let's do something a little different here. Everyone talks about the good games that they've played, but no one ever mentions any games that they flat out hate. Let's post, in order, the worst games that we have ever a.) played, b.) seen, and c.) heard about. Here's an example with some factual information.
a.) Action 52 (NES)
Never before has a game pissed me off so much, I just felt the need to punch something in anger. To summarize the main idea behind this game, imagine a game cartridge with fifty-two original titles stuffed into it, but they all suck. Horrible programming, lame and unimaginative graphics, and some of the worst music to ever make its way into a game are the norm for every single game in this cartridge, and none of the games even have an ending of any sort. To add onto the hurt, it's a well established fact that this game is both unlicensed and had a a low, low starting price at $200.00. To make this worst, the developers, Active Enterprises, thought that their crowning title, Cheeta(h)men, was such a great game (yeah right), they decided to make a sequel for it. Thank god it was never released. Got no comment on that title. Active Enterprises did release a sequel to Action 52 on the Sega Genesis with the help of some other company and even though they improved on the graphics and sound quality, it was still a bad game. It's like if a child molester stop going after the boys and went after girls instead. Yeah, it's a slight improvement, but it's still nowhere near any good. Awful game. Play it for laughs, not if you're in for a serious time.
b.) Plumbers don't Wear Ties (3DO)
This is just painful to watch. I saw TWO different videos on it that were released by TWO different people in the span of TWO days. I mean, there's generally no gameplay, the plot doesn't make much sense, and worst of all, there's almost no videos excluding the introduction. The whole thing is like a glorified slide show made with Windows Movie Maker and if that somehow counts as a game, then it's the poorest excuse ever devised.
c.) RapeLay
The less said about this one, the better.
a.) Action 52 (NES)
Never before has a game pissed me off so much, I just felt the need to punch something in anger. To summarize the main idea behind this game, imagine a game cartridge with fifty-two original titles stuffed into it, but they all suck. Horrible programming, lame and unimaginative graphics, and some of the worst music to ever make its way into a game are the norm for every single game in this cartridge, and none of the games even have an ending of any sort. To add onto the hurt, it's a well established fact that this game is both unlicensed and had a a low, low starting price at $200.00. To make this worst, the developers, Active Enterprises, thought that their crowning title, Cheeta(h)men, was such a great game (yeah right), they decided to make a sequel for it. Thank god it was never released. Got no comment on that title. Active Enterprises did release a sequel to Action 52 on the Sega Genesis with the help of some other company and even though they improved on the graphics and sound quality, it was still a bad game. It's like if a child molester stop going after the boys and went after girls instead. Yeah, it's a slight improvement, but it's still nowhere near any good. Awful game. Play it for laughs, not if you're in for a serious time.
b.) Plumbers don't Wear Ties (3DO)
This is just painful to watch. I saw TWO different videos on it that were released by TWO different people in the span of TWO days. I mean, there's generally no gameplay, the plot doesn't make much sense, and worst of all, there's almost no videos excluding the introduction. The whole thing is like a glorified slide show made with Windows Movie Maker and if that somehow counts as a game, then it's the poorest excuse ever devised.
c.) RapeLay
The less said about this one, the better.
Haha, out of curiosity, I looked up B. http://www.gametrailers.com/video/angry-video-screwattack/52921
Jesus christ.
Jesus christ.
The worst game ever made by far is Ecco the Dolphin.
Since I can't get into describing how much I hate it without getting personally very angry, I'll just say my second most hated: Lord of the Rings (SNES). Everyone except the most fanatical of Lord of the Rings nerds agrees that this game is boring and unfun. The dungeons are hellishly and needlessly long and complicated and some aspects of the gameplay are just unfair, like your idiotic party members who just wander off and kill themselves, or Gimli's stupidly low life which makes it almost impossible to finish the game with him alive (which unfortunately isn't very canonical). I think about 1/1000 of the people who played this game actually finished it.
Since I can't get into describing how much I hate it without getting personally very angry, I'll just say my second most hated: Lord of the Rings (SNES). Everyone except the most fanatical of Lord of the Rings nerds agrees that this game is boring and unfun. The dungeons are hellishly and needlessly long and complicated and some aspects of the gameplay are just unfair, like your idiotic party members who just wander off and kill themselves, or Gimli's stupidly low life which makes it almost impossible to finish the game with him alive (which unfortunately isn't very canonical). I think about 1/1000 of the people who played this game actually finished it.
post=88259
Indiana Jones for the Atari 2600. Made no fucking sense at all.
this is true for most 2600 games
Dragon Slayer, for the Gameboy.
The premise, of course, is to slay a dragon (and bring home four crowns from its treasure stash). You accomplish this by killing enemies, amassing attack power and then going for the big bad. How bad it could be?
First, listen to this music as you read. Start over whenever it stops. It plays the entire time you play Dragon Slayer, eating slowly at your soul.
The game takes place on a huge maze map, where you start neatly next to your house, where you need to bring attack crystals to increase your attack power. One crystal gives 1000 ATK - you'll need 450k to even slowly start harming the dragon. 500k is recommended. You also recover HP at your house - your HP max being your current EXP. As you can imagine, the problem with dragging these attack crystals to your house is the mass of monsters crawling around everywhere. Combat is Hydlide-style straight-up ramming the other sprite until one of you keels over dead. Simple enough, right?
But wait! You'll die horribly when you so much as a touch a monster! That's because you don't have a sword to begin with and are completely useless in combat. So it's a mad goose chase with the monsters as you frantically run around the maze looking for a sword for roughly 5 minutes. If you can find your way back to your house after that, yay! You can start slaying monsters!
Of course whenever you kill something a tombstone drops and a stronger monster pops out from it shortly. So, how do you stop monsters from mobbing your house? Well, you're in luck, you can carry crosses found in the maze and drop them on chokepoints. Monsters can't cross them or attack the square they're on; however, you can also not attack when carrying or standing on a cross. Guess what happens if you get surrounded while on a cross?
Okay, so once you have the basics taken care of with having a sword and a safeguarded house, you can start finding power gems in the maze and carrying them to the house. One at a time. All while faced by countless monsters. For extra fun later monsters start DIRECTLY ATTACKING YOUR EXPERIENCE POINTS AND ATTACK POWER. Welp, I hope you like dragging 20 power gems to your house to make up for lost progress from taking that hit!
After a few hours you'll probably have enough attack power to take on the dragon assuming you haven't committed suicide yet and didn't lose enough attack power to exhaust all the power gems in the maze. The first two dragon heads are at least mercifully easy (if incredibly tedious) to take out due to developers being dumb - they can't attack diagonally and you can (diagonal movement is an actual ability, learned at 30k exp). You can't get a diagonal angle on the center head though. So it's hack and slash versus dragon breath. I hope you left no open paths to the dragon though or need to go back to heal - dragon breath causes a status effect that attracts monsters to you and slows down your movement speed. No, it doesn't wear off. Eventually, you'll slay the dragon.
This is where the worst part BEGINS.
Once you slay the dragon, you must bring four crowns to your house. They're in the dragon's st- OH WAIT they got scattered all around the maze randomly when you beat the dragon. As an added bonus there are now ghosts you can't interact flying all over the maze - they carry any objects they come across to random places. Yes, this includes the crowns. Yes, if a ghost flies through you it will steal any crowns you carry. Well, at least there's no more monster generation on the map, so this is merely incredibly mindnumbing.
So you get a crown eventually, time to take it back to your hou- OH GOD WHAT. YOUR HOUSE now spawns monsters at a rate of way too fucking many/second. I really hope you had it surrounded by crosses in part 1 as you should have. (Otherwise, yeah, they would be everywhere in the maze...). Monsters are obviously capable of stealing crowns.
So, you need to get all four crowns into your possession at once - watch out for ghosts - and patiently lurk for a moment when there are no monsters directly on your house tile. Then cast your epilepsy spell, which stops all monster movement for around 10 seconds and haul ass to your house. CONGRATURATION YOU ARE WINNER.
Wait.
What's this.
Phase 2?
Yep, you get to start over in a new huge maze, now with one-way teleporters and oh god I broke down at that part of the game.
Never again.
Never again.
The premise, of course, is to slay a dragon (and bring home four crowns from its treasure stash). You accomplish this by killing enemies, amassing attack power and then going for the big bad. How bad it could be?
First, listen to this music as you read. Start over whenever it stops. It plays the entire time you play Dragon Slayer, eating slowly at your soul.
The game takes place on a huge maze map, where you start neatly next to your house, where you need to bring attack crystals to increase your attack power. One crystal gives 1000 ATK - you'll need 450k to even slowly start harming the dragon. 500k is recommended. You also recover HP at your house - your HP max being your current EXP. As you can imagine, the problem with dragging these attack crystals to your house is the mass of monsters crawling around everywhere. Combat is Hydlide-style straight-up ramming the other sprite until one of you keels over dead. Simple enough, right?
But wait! You'll die horribly when you so much as a touch a monster! That's because you don't have a sword to begin with and are completely useless in combat. So it's a mad goose chase with the monsters as you frantically run around the maze looking for a sword for roughly 5 minutes. If you can find your way back to your house after that, yay! You can start slaying monsters!
Of course whenever you kill something a tombstone drops and a stronger monster pops out from it shortly. So, how do you stop monsters from mobbing your house? Well, you're in luck, you can carry crosses found in the maze and drop them on chokepoints. Monsters can't cross them or attack the square they're on; however, you can also not attack when carrying or standing on a cross. Guess what happens if you get surrounded while on a cross?
Okay, so once you have the basics taken care of with having a sword and a safeguarded house, you can start finding power gems in the maze and carrying them to the house. One at a time. All while faced by countless monsters. For extra fun later monsters start DIRECTLY ATTACKING YOUR EXPERIENCE POINTS AND ATTACK POWER. Welp, I hope you like dragging 20 power gems to your house to make up for lost progress from taking that hit!
After a few hours you'll probably have enough attack power to take on the dragon assuming you haven't committed suicide yet and didn't lose enough attack power to exhaust all the power gems in the maze. The first two dragon heads are at least mercifully easy (if incredibly tedious) to take out due to developers being dumb - they can't attack diagonally and you can (diagonal movement is an actual ability, learned at 30k exp). You can't get a diagonal angle on the center head though. So it's hack and slash versus dragon breath. I hope you left no open paths to the dragon though or need to go back to heal - dragon breath causes a status effect that attracts monsters to you and slows down your movement speed. No, it doesn't wear off. Eventually, you'll slay the dragon.
This is where the worst part BEGINS.
Once you slay the dragon, you must bring four crowns to your house. They're in the dragon's st- OH WAIT they got scattered all around the maze randomly when you beat the dragon. As an added bonus there are now ghosts you can't interact flying all over the maze - they carry any objects they come across to random places. Yes, this includes the crowns. Yes, if a ghost flies through you it will steal any crowns you carry. Well, at least there's no more monster generation on the map, so this is merely incredibly mindnumbing.
So you get a crown eventually, time to take it back to your hou- OH GOD WHAT. YOUR HOUSE now spawns monsters at a rate of way too fucking many/second. I really hope you had it surrounded by crosses in part 1 as you should have. (Otherwise, yeah, they would be everywhere in the maze...). Monsters are obviously capable of stealing crowns.
So, you need to get all four crowns into your possession at once - watch out for ghosts - and patiently lurk for a moment when there are no monsters directly on your house tile. Then cast your epilepsy spell, which stops all monster movement for around 10 seconds and haul ass to your house. CONGRATURATION YOU ARE WINNER.
Wait.
What's this.
Phase 2?
Yep, you get to start over in a new huge maze, now with one-way teleporters and oh god I broke down at that part of the game.
Never again.
Never again.
I have no clue, I heard the SNES version was better so I just went with that. I actually own the Genesis version (with box and everything). Game can be hard at times.
Man, I used to have Lion King for the Sega Genesis back when I was a kid. I could never get past the second stage. All of those jumps I had to time right...ugh. Still, it was not a bad game, especially considering some other titles I've played and seen...
I loved the SNES Lion King, but I was around 7 years old and liked pretty much anything I played regardless of quality.
A while ago I downloaded the trial of Light's End, a community game on Xbox Live. I thought it was an RPG, but it's actually some sort of weird adventure game where you can control any NPC you want. You progress by switching characters and talking to everyone as everyone and pray you're talking to the right person as the right person. Also check out this eye-popping artwork and amazing music.
A while ago I downloaded the trial of Light's End, a community game on Xbox Live. I thought it was an RPG, but it's actually some sort of weird adventure game where you can control any NPC you want. You progress by switching characters and talking to everyone as everyone and pray you're talking to the right person as the right person. Also check out this eye-popping artwork and amazing music.
post=88279
Man, I used to have Lion King for the Sega Genesis back when I was a kid. I could never get past the second stage. All of those jumps I had to time right...ugh. Still, it was not a bad game, especially considering some other titles I've played and seen...
can't wait to be king was alright but stampede was truly horrible