I assure you I'm no where NEAR as STUPID as one might think.
So, my Uncle is the Head of Security over at Scarefest, as he has been every year, and he is getting my dad to work for him, and my dad is gonna try to get me to work with them, so I can help them, and so that I can get in for free, to meet Rob Zombie, Robert Englund, Elvira, and many more famous people. For example. The guy who plays Jason. Also Danny Trejo, whom hung out with my uncle the whole time last year. He is very short. You'd not think Danny Trejo is as short as he really is.
Fuck yea, elvira got big titties.