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1st archived artistic content creation thread. For the active thread, click here.

Posts

author=Render
So here's Ohtaki, Makoto!

-Picture-

Today I finished her outline for ALL of her events. So all I have to do now is write them. However, she's going to be separate from the Megumi + Fujiko custom content, because I don't think, nor do I want to take on three separate characters in one whole custom content "package," mostly because I don't feel like relating them together, etc.

author=Render
Also, Kevincalanor, for Makoto, you could just put her in 1st Year, Class A.

Yay! A new cute classmate for Alessa x3
I wonder how those bunch of jealous girls around Hinami will react to this :p

-Chart Updated-



Edit: Er what? Three posts appeared! We're being archived! *panics*
Time to archive the thread, people^^

Opening new artistic discussion. Please refrain from posting here from then on.
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
Apparently, I did not recall that post. However, I looked it up on my local ID listing, and... she was there.

Way to fail, Sataro!
author=Marrend
At some point, Render, you will want a Student ID for Ohtaki Makoto. Probably.


She already has an ID though. It's 38. Remember? You wrote it in the ID list last week when I asked for it. xD
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
At some point, Render, you will want a Student ID for Ohtaki Makoto. Probably.
author=Marrend
To be honest, Koruba Toshie wasn't even a consideration for inclusion this game. At this point, she'd probably come off as a total Ruri rip-off anyway.

That makes sense. I don't think she was a major role in the Matsumori Days game either though, however I have yet to finish it.

Anyways, to steer back on topic, how's everyones routes doing?

EDIT: Also, Kevincalanor, for Makoto, you could just put her in 1st Year, Class A.
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
To be honest, Koruba Toshie wasn't even a consideration for inclusion this game. At this point, she'd probably come off as a total Ruri rip-off anyway.
author=Marrend
If the characters come from different concepts (Such as say, Joruri {Matsumori Days} and Uchioniko {Uchioniko}), it's totally fine to divide them this way. That's not to say that you can't do a cameo later, if you so choose.

I probably will eventually do a cameo, however she won't play a big role in anything. She'll most likely annoy Megumi and confuse Fujiko. Speaking of Matsumori Days... When am I going to see Toshie as a Heartache character?
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
author=Render
So here's Ohtaki, Makoto!

-image snip-

Today I finished her outline for ALL of her events. So all I have to do now is write them. However, she's going to be separate from the Megumi + Fujiko custom content, because I don't think, nor do I want to take on three separate characters in one whole custom content "package," mostly because I don't feel like relating them together, etc.


If the characters come from different concepts (Such as say, Joruri {Matsumori Days} and Uchioniko {Uchioniko}), it's totally fine to divide them this way. That's not to say that you can't do a cameo later, if you so choose. Which is totally not a reference to Masako's cameo every-freaking-where in Uchioniko's content.
So here's Ohtaki, Makoto!



Today I finished her outline for ALL of her events. So all I have to do now is write them. However, she's going to be separate from the Megumi + Fujiko custom content, because I don't think, nor do I want to take on three separate characters in one whole custom content "package," mostly because I don't feel like relating them together, etc.

author=Kevincalanor
World Problems: I don't really followed this one, you mean that she starting to talk about stuff to soon, or that she take too long ranting around about her stuff?


A first world problem are smalls issues that privileged people worry about, even though the problem isn't much of an issue. However since you explain Eliza a bit more, I understand why she's acting how she is. When I have time to play her again, I definitely will. She's a pretty sick character.
FX-6 Nebula is back online, so the Mad scientist is back! (With another huge post) x3 Fx6 is my PC name, don't mind that, I'm just being overhappy.

Now at the FX-6 I can head back to my regular duties, and tracking bugs Live-time or Post-time anyways...

On the whole hurry, I forgot to thank you for the feedback, which came really fast btw, there's a whole lot of things to fix, but with your help I'm sure that I'll manage to pull it off.
Thanks a bundle guys, I'll be counting with you for the further feedback at the next events, the first patch should come soon.

- Height problem on Alessa's tachie and Yuriko avatar's position has been fixed;
- Some of Eliza's lines have been remade to sound a little more rational (Although still not friendly, why she would do that?)
- Typos quoted on the feedback were fixed, A lot of them may still be haunting the next events though. (you guys know better than me how many of them are scaterred around). Plus the awkward one that read abused instead of Ambushed.
- Eliza's default state is now set to Dislike, I found it more fitting to her behavior and first impressions about the player, a "Affection up 60" was added after successfully completing the co-op work to balance. (Bringing her to NEUTRAL if everything went fine)

Edit: Here it is, I've decided to make a fix patch instead of update the download due the Mp3s.

author=Ertad
Sorry Iwas taking my time with playing the route:) She is so cute:)
After reading the comments Iunderstand it wasn't my falt for not getting too far...So instead Icontinued from the text file:)
At first Iwas sure she is just atypical tsundere but instead Ifound out she isn't:)
She actually exist is the conclusion Icame to:)(How long were you working on her? It feels like ages because she is made really carefully)
Sorry from me you will not hear any technical problems since Iam no expert on that side...
But Ican say this:Those who don't play her route(From beginning to end)are missing amazing girl(And Iam not talking about her 'angry self' which is cute by itself)
But more then it when she becomes really 'girly' and actually show cute sides that only when she is in love will she show them:)
And please do release anew version when the conditions are fixed(Iwant to play her route with the music and visual sense since the events you made are just too good to be played in my mind only:)

Thanks a lot ^^
Counting the time on both years it's about four months on the mod, Eliza was created as a shy and supportive girl to a race car story back at March 09", I've been developing her personality for multiple stories and mods since then, now she's act like the one on this mod, and is a genetically modified spec-ops on a post-apocalyptic world. :3
I also made a mod that add Eliza as driver on Colin McRae Dirt II :p.

Last, have a little gift for the trouble. While offline I've ripped all unlocked backgrounds from Sosc, plus a few CGs for the ones feeling artistic. As a fortunate surprise, the player from there looks a lot alike our <player>. So save a girl from being hit by a bus just got easier!
If you're short on locations, or just wondered how Matsumori High look like. Give it a try. ^^

PS. also forgot this on the hurry:
author=Marrend
I will endevor to assist you in relaying the kind of speech pattern that a certain character would have.

I mean, um, sure. I'll help you with getting more Mayu Masako for your money.

Endevor that's a new word for my vocab, just need google what it means...
I'm side developing the next route with the bug-fix, no previsions neither percentages for now, it took a nice amount of time to figure out how to make the kitty look right. Also, Yuriko and the Cat route will probably by released together and influence each other.
Masako may only appear in one or two events, she's too badass (is that the right word?) to the route's own good, <player> will just sit and play useless if she stick around and I want him actually doing stuff.
There's the possibility of Mayu appear too, but there's too little written to be sure. As we are speaking 'bout crossovers, we have anyone else with Takuya and Tsubasa at the student council?
Sorry Iwas taking my time with playing the route:) She is so cute:)
After reading the comments Iunderstand it wasn't my falt for not getting too far...So instead Icontinued from the text file:)
At first Iwas sure she is just atypical tsundere but instead Ifound out she isn't:)
She actually exist is the conclusion Icame to:)(How long were you working on her? It feels like ages because she is made really carefully)
Sorry from me you will not hear any technical problems since Iam no expert on that side...
But Ican say this:Those who don't play her route(From beginning to end)are missing amazing girl(And Iam not talking about her 'angry self' which is cute by itself)
But more then it when she becomes really 'girly' and actually show cute sides that only when she is in love will she show them:)
And please do release anew version when the conditions are fixed(Iwant to play her route with the music and visual sense since the events you made are just too good to be played in my mind only:)
At the Internet cafe again, this went a kind of diffrent that I were expecting to, expect for the grammar problems. :p
Allright let's try to not panic at all.

STORY 22
CONDITION = 16 DONE AND 74 NOT DISLIKE
CONDITION = 15 NOT DONE
INTRODUCE = 75

Yeah, Marrend is right. the NOT means worse instead of better. Lame, that near the part I was testing when my net leaved me :(

Wolf Reputation: Guess I need a event to explain better the whole wolf stuff, in fact the one which started with it was Eliza herself. The nickname she uses when playing, by extension the at gamecenter, is ShadowWolf7. Someone saw it there and found it fitting in the wrong way. Currently you only have a tip of it if you date Eliza at the game center, she will post a record as "SW7".
No special origin or background around it, it comes from the original Eliza which is half-wolf.

Angry nature: Due being a -online- gamer girl, she heard a awful lot of stuff from other people, (Did you ever played as a girl on a Brazilian server? Believe me you don't want to.) so when she see that whole class 'jumping like kiddies' at her class it instantly drives her mad. There are considerable spoilers around it too.
Maybe she could be a little more rational at the library though.

Yuriko's avatar: I knew I forgot to fix something after the test, and to be honest at the current stage, I didn't even had to Introduce them, as they (Alessa too) don't have affection changes, and by extension don't affect the route. (The affection change at Yuriko intro is redirected to Eliza)
Expect high forecast of Landmines with deadly repercussions when they routes get released tough. "Abort flags" will be released for cautious players.
(A abort flag is basically a "neutral flag" that stops the route. As having a relation at DISLIKE or LOVE can, and will, cause serious trouble.)

Phone: I may have to investigate them better I don't really gave attention to them when made the changes after taking out the dust from 2013.
But, she is supossed to want to hung up the fastest possible.

World Problems: I don't really followed this one, you mean that she starting to talk about stuff to soon, or that she take too long ranting around about her stuff?
There's a fair lot of things to explain around so I may be stockpiling them too much at once :p

This should make up for the explanations for now. I'm glad that you guys managed to have some fun even with at the current stage.

You guys can wait the next release, even if my network don't be beack by there I'll be here again at the Friday, but I highly doubt that I'll be able to check posts until there.

Or replace the conditions to get the next events, although some of the problems quoted above may persist.
STORY 22
CONDITION = 16 DONE AND 74 UNFRIENDLY
CONDITION = 15 NOT DONE
INTRODUCE = 75
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
I'm starting to wonder about "CONDITION = 74 NOT DISLIKE". The example CONDITION lines Mr. Help File gives in regards to this is...


CONDITION = 6 Neutral
CONDITION = 6 NOT Friendly

In this case, it first checks to see if Akari is at least NEUTRAL state, if not higher. Then, it checks to see if her state is less than FRIENDLY. Which is why it goes on to say...

author=Mr. Help File
This story will not be seen unless Akari's affection state is exactly Neutral.

Given this information, I believe "CONDITION = 74 NOT DISLIKE" would check to see if Eliza's state is less than DISLIKE. Which would automatically fail, because there is no state lower than DISLIKE. If the concept here was to check to see if she was not at a DISLIKE state (in other words, UNFRIENDLY or higher), the line would be "CONDITION = 74 UNFRIENDLY".

*Edit: I'm not going to retract this post, and re-post in the technical thread where it arguably belongs.
author=Marrend
The first example should work, though! It's not written the way you have it (Which, granted, is how it would normally be written), but AND should be a viable operator! That sounded a bit awkward.

*Edit: I (we?) will probably want to take a closer look at the story file in regards to grammar corrections. Granted, I didn't get very far, but, yeah. I saw a quite a few.


Weeeeird. So, I was looking in the story file and I found absolutely nothing that wouldn't start up the event. I tried changing the conditions, and it turns out nothing happened. Anyways, I try investing myself a bit more into looking into the story to figure this out.
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
author=Render
Downloaded it, played it. The story is interesting so far, however it stopped due to a condition error. And by that I meant, you added a condition which didn't allow the event to pick up.


STORY 22
CONDITION = 16 DONE AND 74 NOT DISLIKE
CONDITION = 15 NOT DONE

It should be this instead:


CONDITION = 16 DONE
CONDITION = 74 NOT DISLIKE
CONDITION = 15 NOT DONE

The first example should work, though! It's not written the way you have it (Which, granted, is how it would normally be written), but AND should be a viable operator! That sounded a bit awkward.


*Edit: I (we?) will probably want to take a closer look at the story file in regards to grammar corrections. Granted, I didn't get very far, but, yeah. I saw a quite a few.
author=Kevincalanor
So well... here it is. I hope you guys have some fun and that I can handle the feedback when I get back.

Downloaded it, played it. The story is interesting so far, however it stopped due to a condition error. And by that I meant, you added a condition which didn't allow the event to pick up.

STORY 22
CONDITION = 16 DONE AND 74 NOT DISLIKE
CONDITION = 15 NOT DONE
It should be this instead:
CONDITION = 16 DONE
CONDITION = 74 NOT DISLIKE
CONDITION = 15 NOT DONE

Throughout the story, I found tons of grammar errors and spelling errors. I wrote down the ones I saw before the route stopped.
-Story 4 has no place, I'm not sure if this is intentional or not.
-Story 5 "You shall be <player>,.." Shall is past-tensed, you could go with "You should be <player>."
-Yuriko's face is somewhat off on the phone screen. I'm not sure if you know this or not.
-Story 6 "You have any idea of how disgusting is seeing you like that?" Should have the word "it" after disgusting.
"There aren't anyone else drooling at the window." Aren't should be isn't.
"When made a move with her to prove that, she saw about four more guys spying the training." I'm not sure what Eliza was trying to say here.
"All the other trainings have less than half men on the crowd." Less than half men? Like, two and half-men? No idea what Eliza is trying to say here.
"Hopefully we'll end finish it up this time." This should be: "Hopefully
we'll end up finishing it this time." Or "Hopefully we'll finish it up this time."
"Admit, she the prettier girl in the whole school." Should be: "Admit it, she's the prettiest girl in the whole school." Or something like that.
-Profile Responses
"Well... January 3th..." This should be January 3rd.
"Let's exchange numbers it then. Guess it will be useful sometime." This should be: "Lets exchange numbers then. Guess it will be useful sometime."
-Story 8
"(Well, and here am I spending mine Saturday at the library.)" "Mine" should be "my."
"(I wonder what she was thinking when came up with this idea...)" After "when" there needs to be a "she."
"So, how much hours have you been here this time?" "Much" should be "many."
"Guess so, so let's just finish this up." "let's" should be "lets."
-Story 14
"(However, she started to draw something that I couldn't see and we didn't talked anymore.)" "Talked" should be "talk."


That's all I have for grammar so far. I do want to say some things that I like and dislike about Eliza though.

LIKE:

-When you actually get to know her, she's an interesting character.
-She's kind of witty.
-She definitely is not stupid. Big plus here.
-She admits her own mistakes. Which you don't see in a lot of characters, mostly because the writer or writers like(s) to make their character a Mary-Sue.
-I'm reading out of the story file currently, and I see that Eliza lunges at the player with scissors. WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY. Where'd she get the scissors from though? :o
-What's interesting about her route so far right now, is that I kind of want to play it again, but hit the landmines, BECAUSE MORE GIRLS NEED TO BE LIKE THIS. Just without scissors.


DISLIKE:

-She's very dynamic in a reeaaaally weird way when you talk to her on the phone. Mostly because she's all like "Video games, kittys, yeah!" That was exaggeration, but that's what I remembered from it. Now this isn't a bad thing, however it's odd and rare.
-I found myself getting annoyed how quickly she was to talk about her first world problems. I wouldn't mind a few, but she just went on and on about Shihoko, dating, etc.
-I don't understand the whole wolfy pack thing. I don't get what it's suppose to resemble, but that just might be because I have not gotten farther than the day they finished the project.
-When I was first meeting her, I thought she was the cliché angry character, and here's a basic summary of that: Any character who heavily dislikes the main character for unknown reasons, and is very hostile at the first meeting and continues their hostility to a certain point. An example of this would be Ellie from the Last of Us, Draco from Harry Potter, and Clerise from the Percy Jackson series. (I'm just pointing out ones that are popular, and/or you may or may not know of them.) Mayu from Uchioniko may be an example of this, but however it's used "tastefully," and Mayu is pretty subtle about it, which doesn't overdramatize it, and makes her more realistic.


So yeah! That's all I have to say for now.
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
Finished a play that included Wolfpack, but ended up getting Tsubasa's ending. It's about freaking time I completed this game with a built-in character! I must have been bumped off Eliza's route, since I didn't get any events with her after the co-op project completed. I don't think I did anything to bump myself off her route, though?
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
I didn't even catch the post where you changed it to Kimura, so okay.

I will endevor to assist you in relaying the kind of speech pattern that a certain character would have.


I mean, um, sure. I'll help you with getting more Mayu Masako for your money.
Well... Got a problem with mine internet, someone forgot to tell about the f-- *skips two page ranting* bill lost in the *more pages* boxes in the middle of nowhere.
So yeah, that goddamn that I pay the double of what I should is cancelled until the *one more page* bank decide to move his lazy *last page I hope*... (I'm currently at a Internet cafe that don't have coffee)

Since I got that... no pages this time, rather unfortunate problem I've told above. I've decided that I'll release the beta now, no one knows how long those *sorry, another page* will take to bring me back online.

There's a few things I want you guys to take note before/while downloading.

- A few events weren't play tested, it's a beta being released before planned after all.
- Some events, mostly multi-routes, that were half written atm were cut on this beta.
- The Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.
- Don't peek at the tachies folder, it may contain major spoilers.
- Seems there's a minor bug on Alessa's tachie, I'll fix it as soon I stop wanting to kick stuff.
- Three musics are quoted during the route, you can find youtube links and full lyrics at the "music reference" file at Music folder. (Although you don't need to see them to understand what's happening.)
- DarkComet Labs is required to remind you that the Weighted Companion Cube cannot speak. In the event that it does speak, DarkComet asks you to ignore its advice.

To keep my tradition of posting too many images, here's a screenshot.


Honesty is the best policy, or so I'm told.


So well... here it is. I hope you guys have some fun and that I can handle the feedback when I get back.
Just in case that the above link don't work, here's a Mirror

author=BDFalcon
author=Kevincalanor
Mine latest play with PS-CS4... Cat-Ears! *insert fan-girling here*

-Image-
I am wholly reminded by looking at this that I am a lazy bum. Someone on here had asked me if I could make them cat ears and I confidently stated that I would. That was 1-2 months ago. I've made no progress. =.=;

Well, Kevincalanor's stuff looks better anyways so all is well. ^.^

I should really get to writing my characters for this before they start getting swallowed up by newer, occasionally similar characters. =.=;
That's the madly insane scientist me again, I create things in one go or keep forgeting to finish it up forever... like the dress I promised to make not sure how long ago... :p

author=Marrend
<heavy sarcasm>Yeah, it's too bad her creator is never around to give us pointers.</heavy sarcasm>

Lol, so... I can send you one or two Stories later for translation? x3

About Yuriko, I've changed her surname to Sakamoto some posts ago due the problems with duplication. I thought that I were the only one into racing games here...

Calanor over and out, for who knows how long.