The latest version of the game, at least on my end, reworks this scene. I'm hoping the dialog flows better, but I'm going to have BurningTyger take a look at it.
I feel she's too brusque honestly. I have the general script used there, but not all the new rooms. SO i could do a bit of work myself, but it might not be complete.
Right, "In any event, I fear" doesn't sound great, maybe just : "I must attend to something...", just trying to help, i could be completely off. In any case, nice map, that red on the dark grey, also I love the sprites.