Moe Wars Visual Novel: Golden Daisy

I had a nice 5 day vacation, and I decided to check out an indie visual novel to kill a couple hours. I had 5 days to relax and nothing to really do, so what was the harm in that. Well this game was the harm, and I really felt like I wasted my time with this.

Before I get to the meat and bones of the game, I can tell that the actual script was written by a single person, a person that's in serious need of a proofreader. While I'll let slide the occasional missing comma or two, because even I'll occasionally forget to put one in. I could also be a nitpicker and complain about how the author doesn't know the difference between effect and affect, or then and than, but those are minor compared to the other mistakes that are throughout the text.

The biggest reason why the author needs a proofreader, is that there's several misspelled words, and sometimes words that don't make sense. I'm not even sure if the author even proofread his own work, because there are times where there are incomplete words. I'm not familiar with using this particular software, but in the other RPG Maker games, if the word is too long, and it's at the edge of a textbox, it'll just cut out the letters that don't fit in the box. There are times where that seems like the logical explaination, but then there are times where there's really no excuse if it's a short word in the middle of the textbox. Outside of the actual story itself (which we'll talk about in a second), someone proofreading this will at least make this less of a pain to read.

Since this is a visual novel, there's really no gameplay to talk about whatsoever, so we'll discuss the story since that's the entire basis of a visual novel. Good God where do I begin? When you go through the story, it's pretty obvious that the author is a giant fan of fanservice anime and probably a lot of hentai. While I'm not a fan of the genre, it has its following.

The problem I have with the story is how this novel is obviously the author's shameless self-fulfilling wet dream. The story is entirely built around the author slapping together every anime fetish he has, and culminated it into an inconsistent and incoherent mess. Unless I'm completely out of the loop with the fanservice genre, it seems like these fetishes are all thrown in for absolutely no reason. When there finally is a reason, the author wastes a significant amount of time to build up to a single poorly executed gag. It's entirely possible to make this clever, but I find his execution to be more annoying than a cheap reoccurring gag.

Imagine that you're reading a story, and an entirely random scene appears out of nowhere, and you find out that the entire point was so a character could laugh at the fact that there's a pink bandaid on the butt of another character. That's pretty much the entire story in a nutshell. The author seems to have at least made a general outline of the plot, which has the potential to make it interesting, even if cliche. Though this potential is all completely ruined by transitions between the main plots that are all thrown in that serve absolutely zero purpose, unless maybe for a terrible sex joke that your 11 year old cousin would have made.

To make these scenes even more of a slog (and I may sound like I'm contradicting myself when I say this, but bare with me), it seems like the author spent more time on these than the actual story. Regarding the scene I mentioned earlier regarding the pink bandaid on a butt, the author spent so much time describing the doctor's office. Sorry I meant vaccination office, because the author thought it was incredibly important to distinguish that they're going to a vaccination office instead of the doctor's office.

While this scene was playing out, I was expecting the fact that the characters had to get vaccinated before going to another planet was relevant to the plot. Especially when the author even took the time and effort to throw in public service announcements. Boy was I wrong. The entire point of this scene was to build up the fact that the main character had to receive a shot on her barely clothed butt, just so her friend could call it cute and laugh at her. Never were the shots ever mentioned again. As atrocious as the enema scene was (yes you read that right), there was at least some relevance to the story.

It's because of scenes like that is why the story was an atrocity to read. You've all read in novels that the author will spend time to build up the description of scenery or a person, to describe someone/thing that's really important. Because of this, the author is making it clear that this place/person is important, because either a reoccurring place or an important character to the plot. This author basically does the exact opposite. The parts of the story that need clarification have very little to no explaination, but he really felt it was important to waste several minutes to describe in-depth the space terminal, and the space version of the TSA that the characters spent all of five seconds experiencing.

I honestly could go on and on, but I'll try to summarize this in the end. While I'm okay with pointless comedies, if they're at least funny, but this seems to lack any kind of humor. Then to make matters worse, it seems like the author attempted to make a plot, but felt that the plot was irrelevant and the random scenes to play out his anime fetishes was significantly more important.

All in all, I would say avoid this novel at all costs. It's not one of those things where you can get unexpected comedy out of how bad this is. You know, like the infamous movie The Room, this novel is just completely bad.