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Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
author=Marrend
The Masako/Shoko event was certainly interesting to write! Though, I feared I might have hit the gutter with the sequence where Masako was challenged to read <player>'s thoughts. It wasn't too much, was it?
No problem with it. Your stories are fantastic when you put effort into them. I simply can't find any mistakes, and you very well know I tried.
And I'm satisfied you intend to keep it that way! Hehehe...
Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
They are just fine. We've already dumped the reqs once.
Also, on another unrelated note, I really like the Shoko/Masako event. Do you? In the way it is?>:D
Also, on another unrelated note, I really like the Shoko/Masako event. Do you? In the way it is?>:D
Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
author=Marrend
I suppose that's not as big a secret as 21 Ways' true identity, huh?
*Edit: Though, both reveals occur at the "ENDING", if memory serves.
Now that you remind me. I've played the Uchioniko update. Positive mostly(Because it's Uchioniko), but one thing. Can we change this line back?
author=MarrendIf you're really, really sure the profanity is too much, we can keep 'butt' instead of 'ass', but changing the sentence structure ruins the joke. Pretty please?:)
'Cuz if you won't shut up and try it I'll shove it down yer big mouth and pull it out of your ass!
Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
author=Marrend
It might help triad2's understanding of 21 Ways? I mean, she wears the mask of "21 Ways" in as many situations as she can. I assume this is because she built her career around that persona. She shows few signs of wanting to stop being "21 Ways", or being tired acting out this persona.Compare that with, say, a certain other character I know who has a false persona...
The Sei/Izumi combo I'm guessing.
Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
author=triadI'm not offended. I'm just too much of a dick to waste time putting what I had to say into a nice form. I don't subscribe to 'nice'.
sorry dozen i didn't mean to offend you
author=triadUhh, not that either. Geez, it's not so hard to look at that damn route. Spite never entered the story.
maybe contrary would be better someone says go right she goes left just to spite them
author=triadToo bad. Unlike some people, I had English classes:P The dictionaries are on my side.
i also think our definition of peer pressure is different too
author=MarrendWell, you... can? We're groovy with that? I don't like Shin Megami Tensei very much, but I have basic idea about the lore.
Is this when somebody *forced cough* talks about the concept of "persona"?
Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
author=triad2
@dozen i really like most of that little tidbit you did of 21 so please do not take this as a judgement against you because i don't know what else you have done to her and of course i maybe reading it wrong or out of context but the original 21 was a rebel who didn't cowtail to peer pressure in fact if you tried you might need to see a dr afterwords
Ah, of course! A rebel would never conform to anything! Oh, wait, no, that's bullshit.
First things first, there are precious few people who don't conform at all, and most of them who don't are. Just. Terrible. You mentioned sociopaths in your post? That's us, without peer pressure being able to affect your personality and actions(I vote for the phycho approach, btw). Take away appearance, and I'll grant you a huge chunk of the modern world's population would stop bathing regularly.
Now, if your definition of a rebel is conforming comparably less(the bare minimum, you could say), then 21 appears to fit. She always did, and I'm not going to change her. I didn't change anything. I just had the player comment on the subtext that was already there. 21 being a 'rebel' is the exact reason peer pressure matters to her. It pisses her off. More to the point, she's in detention for making a fashion statement. Fashion.
"But rebels don't do that!" you say, And that's true! For sure, real outcasts never care. Real ones never. And lo comes the big relevation of in her ending where you find out she isn't actually a rebel. 21 isn't making a big point for freedom of choice, individuality or whatever. Hell, she doesn't even want people to leave her be the way she is. She's just a sad, lost little girl who wants to show everyone and herself she matters, if she matters, because she sure as fuck doesn't know. She's acting the way she is to look edgy and memorable. To let the world know how special Ways can be to get over her orphan girl issues. A confused teen, trying to appeal the masses by predending to fit the rebel archetype in the middle of Japan. 21 doesn't cowtail to peer pressure? She has pure liquid conformism running in her bloodstream, bud. Telling you about her problems with that was the whole point of her story. Swing and a miss on your part.
Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
author=Marrend
...one can ignore my ramblings.
I'm always paying attention to you. How else could I expect you to do the same?:) I can see why this is important, so I'll check, okay?
Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
author=Marrend
I'd also like to think that Masako's less-than-X-intelligence-check came before 21's less-than-X-personality-check, but...
It probably did. Masako's was the first route to come out. You know it better than me.
Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
Aaand a little excerpt of 21 2.0.(Huh. It's sound weird to say it like that. Numbers for names, right? What's their deal?) I think I managed to nail this particular one quite good, so here you go. I'd mark what I changed, but in the end, I all but rewrote this whole story. Except the check success branch, that was pure genius on Dude's part.
STORY 203
CONDITION = 202 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
ID = 0
zzz...beep...zzz
(I got a message? Who would send me messages while I'm at school? What if I was in class? Do they want me dead? Let's see...)
ID = 21
<player>, it's horrible. You have to spring me out of detention. I think I'm gonna die of boredom.
ID = 0
(Of <b>course</b> it was 21. Typical of her, too. She faces hundreds in the spotlight without dropping a sweat, but a little peer pressure and she's done.)
(Hmm... maybe I could convince the teacher to let her go. But should I?)
A: (Personality) I can do this!
B: Not a chance.
BRANCH A
(Can't hurt to give it a try. Well, okay, it can, but 21's a friend. And dangerous to refuse, on top of that. )
(I send her a message saying I'm on my way.)
Off I go!
JUMP C
BRANCH B
# the hell?! you chose not to help 21? what's wrong with you!
##Gee, not wanting to suck up to a girl? Dude...
(I don't think so. 21 got herself into this mess. She's on her own.)
(I send her a message saying so.)
ID = 0
zzz...beep...zzz
(Here it comes...)
ID = 21
I hate your guts! I can't believe you let an innocent girl rot in detention!
AFF DOWN 40
ID = 0
Innocent?
(But damn, she sounds mad. I better watch my back. I get shivers just thinking what she might do to me, if she finds me...)
BRANCH C
PLACE = Classroom B
ID = Teacher
<player>, what are you doing here? I don't recall giving you detention.
D: PERSONALITY 30
ID = 0
(Oh. I didn't think of an excuse, really. I'll have to improvise.)
ID = Teacher
Well?
ID = 0
(Come on, something good, fast!)
Well, you see, 21's cat, Fluffy... ton, um Fluffyton has... a bad fur ball attack and needs to be... taken to the vet?
ID = Teacher
I stand corrected. You <i>do</i> have detention.
ID = 0
What? Why?
ID = Teacher
For coming up with the absolute worst story I've heard since "my dog ate my homework".
ID = 0
It's no story, I swea-
ID = Teacher
Enough. You want to be with Miss Ways so badly, you can enjoy the entire afternoon with her. In detention.
ID = 0
(Defeated, I pulled a chair next to 21.)
ID = 21
DISLIKE
SHOW CENTER
...
ID = 0
Umm, hi?
ID = 21
<i>My cat had a hairball attack?</i>
ID= 0
I thought it sounded urgent.
ID = 21
UNFRIENDLY
No doubt you must be retarded.
FRIENDLY
AFF UP 40
Oh well, at least now we can--
ID = Teacher
Silence, you two! This is detention, not "let's enjoy idle conversation".
ID = 0
(This is going to be a hell of an afternoon.)
# I thought it'd be kinda interesting that player's be rewarded by failing an attribute test.
## Dude said that, people. I swear.
BRANCH D
# this section occurs if you pass the attribute check
ID = 0
Where's 21?! I have urgent news!
ID = Teacher
Miss Ways is ov--
ID = 0
21! Why aren't you answering your phone?! It's your father, he's been in an accident. We have to go, now!
ID = 21
LIKE
SHOW CENTER
My fath-
ID = 0
Let's move!
ID = 21
But I'm in deten-
ID = 0
No time for silly notions like that, we <i>have</i> to get to your father!
ID = Teacher
Go! Go! Forget detention, get to your father!
ID = 21
Thank you, teacher.
ERASE CENTER
JUMP 204
BRANCH 204
CONDITION = 204 DONE
PLACE = Grounds
ID = 21
LIKE
SHOW CENTER
ID = 0
(21 and I stop to take a breath after a sprint through the courtyard, just to be sure.)
(To our luck, today's detention room doesn't have windows facing the grounds. We're relatively safe.)
ID = 21
:pant: Geez, <player>! :pant: I had no idea you were so good at lying. You almost had me convinced Dan was at the hospital.
ID = 0
Yeah. :pant: I don't know what came over me... Hey, you call your pops by his first name?
ID = 21
FRIENDLY
What else would you call somebody? I can't just refer to Dan as "you there" <i>all</i> the time.
ID = 0
Don't get smart. You don't let me either.
ID = 21
I hold privileges.
ID = 0
What privileges?
ID = 21
NEUTRAL
These in my fist right here. You're welcome to take a closer look.
LIKE
ID = 0
No! I'll manage without! Thanks!
Regardless, it's kinda weird. I mean, mom or dad might do the job.
UNFRIENDLY
ID = 21
It's kinda original, rather. Do you expect any less?
ID = 0
Heh, point. In retrospect I shouldn't be suprised, knowing you.
ID = 21
FRIENDLY
More like it.
UNFRIENDLY
ID = 0
But actually, I am still surprised you haven't assigned your folks a number by now. What's the hold up?
ID = 21
DISLIKE
AFF DOWN 20
Well who asked your dammed opinion!
ID = 0
Wait! I <i>just</i> got you out of...
ERASE CENTER
(Too late, 21 ran off. How can she keep going after the 300 meter dash we pulled just a minute ago? Her drive never ceases to amaze me.)
(This sort of situations make me wonder why do I bother to keep up with her. What did I do wrong?)
(I guess no good deed goes unpunished... Any less than you can call a prison break a good deed.)
# Yup, this may be the only occasion when having too much of an attribute is a bad thing. Ain't I a stinker?
## IT WAS DUDE STOP LOOKING AT ME.
CONDITION = 202 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
ID = 0
zzz...beep...zzz
(I got a message? Who would send me messages while I'm at school? What if I was in class? Do they want me dead? Let's see...)
ID = 21
<player>, it's horrible. You have to spring me out of detention. I think I'm gonna die of boredom.
ID = 0
(Of <b>course</b> it was 21. Typical of her, too. She faces hundreds in the spotlight without dropping a sweat, but a little peer pressure and she's done.)
(Hmm... maybe I could convince the teacher to let her go. But should I?)
A: (Personality) I can do this!
B: Not a chance.
BRANCH A
(Can't hurt to give it a try. Well, okay, it can, but 21's a friend. And dangerous to refuse, on top of that. )
(I send her a message saying I'm on my way.)
Off I go!
JUMP C
BRANCH B
# the hell?! you chose not to help 21? what's wrong with you!
##Gee, not wanting to suck up to a girl? Dude...
(I don't think so. 21 got herself into this mess. She's on her own.)
(I send her a message saying so.)
ID = 0
zzz...beep...zzz
(Here it comes...)
ID = 21
I hate your guts! I can't believe you let an innocent girl rot in detention!
AFF DOWN 40
ID = 0
Innocent?
(But damn, she sounds mad. I better watch my back. I get shivers just thinking what she might do to me, if she finds me...)
BRANCH C
PLACE = Classroom B
ID = Teacher
<player>, what are you doing here? I don't recall giving you detention.
D: PERSONALITY 30
ID = 0
(Oh. I didn't think of an excuse, really. I'll have to improvise.)
ID = Teacher
Well?
ID = 0
(Come on, something good, fast!)
Well, you see, 21's cat, Fluffy... ton, um Fluffyton has... a bad fur ball attack and needs to be... taken to the vet?
ID = Teacher
I stand corrected. You <i>do</i> have detention.
ID = 0
What? Why?
ID = Teacher
For coming up with the absolute worst story I've heard since "my dog ate my homework".
ID = 0
It's no story, I swea-
ID = Teacher
Enough. You want to be with Miss Ways so badly, you can enjoy the entire afternoon with her. In detention.
ID = 0
(Defeated, I pulled a chair next to 21.)
ID = 21
DISLIKE
SHOW CENTER
...
ID = 0
Umm, hi?
ID = 21
<i>My cat had a hairball attack?</i>
ID= 0
I thought it sounded urgent.
ID = 21
UNFRIENDLY
No doubt you must be retarded.
FRIENDLY
AFF UP 40
Oh well, at least now we can--
ID = Teacher
Silence, you two! This is detention, not "let's enjoy idle conversation".
ID = 0
(This is going to be a hell of an afternoon.)
# I thought it'd be kinda interesting that player's be rewarded by failing an attribute test.
## Dude said that, people. I swear.
BRANCH D
# this section occurs if you pass the attribute check
ID = 0
Where's 21?! I have urgent news!
ID = Teacher
Miss Ways is ov--
ID = 0
21! Why aren't you answering your phone?! It's your father, he's been in an accident. We have to go, now!
ID = 21
LIKE
SHOW CENTER
My fath-
ID = 0
Let's move!
ID = 21
But I'm in deten-
ID = 0
No time for silly notions like that, we <i>have</i> to get to your father!
ID = Teacher
Go! Go! Forget detention, get to your father!
ID = 21
Thank you, teacher.
ERASE CENTER
JUMP 204
BRANCH 204
CONDITION = 204 DONE
PLACE = Grounds
ID = 21
LIKE
SHOW CENTER
ID = 0
(21 and I stop to take a breath after a sprint through the courtyard, just to be sure.)
(To our luck, today's detention room doesn't have windows facing the grounds. We're relatively safe.)
ID = 21
:pant: Geez, <player>! :pant: I had no idea you were so good at lying. You almost had me convinced Dan was at the hospital.
ID = 0
Yeah. :pant: I don't know what came over me... Hey, you call your pops by his first name?
ID = 21
FRIENDLY
What else would you call somebody? I can't just refer to Dan as "you there" <i>all</i> the time.
ID = 0
Don't get smart. You don't let me either.
ID = 21
I hold privileges.
ID = 0
What privileges?
ID = 21
NEUTRAL
These in my fist right here. You're welcome to take a closer look.
LIKE
ID = 0
No! I'll manage without! Thanks!
Regardless, it's kinda weird. I mean, mom or dad might do the job.
UNFRIENDLY
ID = 21
It's kinda original, rather. Do you expect any less?
ID = 0
Heh, point. In retrospect I shouldn't be suprised, knowing you.
ID = 21
FRIENDLY
More like it.
UNFRIENDLY
ID = 0
But actually, I am still surprised you haven't assigned your folks a number by now. What's the hold up?
ID = 21
DISLIKE
AFF DOWN 20
Well who asked your dammed opinion!
ID = 0
Wait! I <i>just</i> got you out of...
ERASE CENTER
(Too late, 21 ran off. How can she keep going after the 300 meter dash we pulled just a minute ago? Her drive never ceases to amaze me.)
(This sort of situations make me wonder why do I bother to keep up with her. What did I do wrong?)
(I guess no good deed goes unpunished... Any less than you can call a prison break a good deed.)
# Yup, this may be the only occasion when having too much of an attribute is a bad thing. Ain't I a stinker?
## IT WAS DUDE STOP LOOKING AT ME.














