DRAGNFLY'S PROFILE

Dragnfly
Beta testers!? No, this game needs a goddamn exorcist!
1786
Developer of videogames and boardgames. Yet to release a boardgame or a game made in RPGmaker.
Favourite genre: jRPG, Strategy RPG, Action RPG
Other likes: Anime, digital media, writing
Proud Canadian
Avatars: Tiara from my should-be-upcoming game Resolem, by NiwaRhythm

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Toraware no Shoujo - Caged Girl

The better term would have been "mature subject matter." If you wanted to be extra considerate you could say "mature subject matter and triggering content", which is kind of a catch all for "if anything offends or disturbs you, don't play this.".

Anyway, on to my two cents. When I couldn't get the game to extract I considered not playing it due to bad press but then decided I'd decide for myself in case it was bad enough that the mods axed it and I would be left wondering what the deal was.

-I'll give you a white card on the grammar and such since you admit it's not your native language and the reader can still tell what's being said. Though for next time note that native-speaking English proofreaders are free and plentiful. Heck, I knew somebody once who would proofread anything for free just because he was so anal about grammar the mere knowledge that something with imperfect grammar existed would keep him antsy all day long. If there's going to be crazy obsessed people you might as well get some free work out of them.

-After using the spoon properly the save point turns to... Italian(?) It also switches to Italian(?) when you try to go through the top 3 exits at the climax but the others are in English.

-Some text gets cut off.

-You really need a way to check your inventory and number of torn pages found. I was juggling many saves due to the nature of the gameplay and it was hard to tell what pages I'd gotten on what save.

-
I did get a laugh out of "Mad End" as opposed to Bad End
. I didn't get a "good" end, if there even is one. I have a strong suspicion on how to get it and, well, I'm just not that quick so I'll pass.
I suspect I need to sleep, dodge him, go grab all those keys while dodging him and escape since when I did dodge him the front door was locked anyway. That's something I doubt I could ever manage.


The mapping is fine, the length is good and short and it's always clear what you need to do to progress. The character art is of good quality.

I realize my review of the story and characters are likely hampered because I think I'm missing an ending but I'll cover what I know. As a disclaimer, my motto with story content is "any content of any sort can be used in a story so long as it's used tastefully and is implemented well." I do like stories of rebellion and caged little bird stories and I'm not afraid of stories that deal with child abuse/etc/etc (while away I read and loved the Kodomo no Jikan manga, for example). This one is mind of a tough sell though. In one of your comments you say "disgusting it's a bit exaggerated" but if Daddy's abuse scenes weren't meant to make your skin crawl then what were they for? If I'd made this then I'd sure as heck mean them to be disturbing, even if it didn't disturb me specifically. If Albedo from Xenosaga teaches us anything, it's if you want a character to creep a player out, have them abuse kids.

I got, like, 9 of those torn pages and Daddy's spiral into obsessive abusive madness seems like more of a sudden turn than a believable devolution. Perhaps it would've went better if, instead of picking up specific torn pages you just got whatever the text was for the latest page (conditional branches).

Ai's character is entirely believable to me, even with
"Mad End"
seeming like a natural proper ending to this story. I like that she knew what an oven was but not most of the other stuff.

I'd give it an even rating, counting the story for what it is. Gameplay is tense because you're not always sure what will summon Dadzilla and it was super tense at first when I thought it was on a timer (good thing it wasn't. Timed exploration games suck). If the game survives on here it'd at least help to fix some of the design and text issues to up the more forgiving people's ratings. I'm fairly new here so I don't know if the mods will nuke it or not.

#1. Find Your Way

author=Elder71
Originally, I was gonna half-arse this game and make it in a few days for the hell of it. But as I've become more invested, and it seems like way more folks are interested in playing T.A.D than I ever imagined, I'm very keen now to do a good job. And putting safeguards in place against the 'easy options' when it comes to design is kinda what I'm about :)


Funny you say that. My entire reason for not putting up a page for the game I'm working on is because I don't want potential for a sudden burst of fans to make me want to devote more time to it and thus endanger things like paying rent and vacuuming:)

#1. Find Your Way

author=Elder71
PPS. I should add that only a few areas of the game will be dark. I think have a majority of the game take places in reasonably well lit sections will keep me on my toes, stopping me from getting lazy and relying too much on darkness for The Allison Door's atmosphere.


+5 truth points for this.

Toraware no Shoujo - Caged Girl

Here's a weird question. Is anyone else having problems with the .exe not opening? It just sits there doing nothing for me. Other executibles put into the same folder work just fine. I moved it out of my downloads folder and still nothing happens when clicked.

If nobody else is having the problem then it's clearly something with my system.

screen_1.png

I see that effect in anime a lot. Having never actually seen a girl wear a thin sun dress in front of strong light I'm not sure if it's accurate or not.

AKEMI TAN

I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with this one now that I finally got to play it. It covers a wide range of good horror. Creepy, shock and gross were all used and all used very, very well.

Story was average. The twist was stupid. I actually thought the normal end was more fitting than the true end.

But gameplay-wise it was downright annoying. Gameplay choices didn't make a whole lot of sense and too much of it, especially early on, was just wandering around until you triggered an event and then wander around again until the next event. There was guidance for some things but others no.

Oh, and moving save point. TERRIBLE IDEA. Just because something's innovative doesn't mean it's good and that save point was super annoying.

In the end I guess I'll be advertising it as a must-play, but only when the backlog is really low.

Lost in Fantasy: Reverence (Version 2.6)

Yeah. it was largely my fault for having an outdated version.

There's actually a history of games including little hidden extras, either admonishing cheaters or just adding wacky stuff. Considering your game is humourous it might be something you'd want to make a fun name for yourself with. I think Extra Credits (a Youtube show that discusses game design with fantastic insight) even did an episode on stuff like that.

#1. Find Your Way

I ended up having a lot more to say than planned so I'll point form it for everyone's sanity. Also, these are suggestions and observations, not demands and orders.

-Footsteps: That's the type of sound I'd try to make a little song out of if I were playing. dun dun dun... dun dun... dun dun... dun dun dun dun dun... dun. Although the echo is nice. Gives a feel of isolation. Regardless of what sound you use, keep the echo.

-The blue: A buddy of mine is a huge fan of Umineko no Naku Koro Ni where characters can say things in different colours for different purposes. He keeps arbitrarily colouring his words and it's gotten to the point that his e-mails look like a `90's Geocities page. Not really relevant. Just a funny story.

-Not seeing what's behind you theory: When it comes to first person games I always found being chased by something behind me to be more of a pain in the butt than a scare. Thanks for keeping it 3rd person.

-Lighting theory: A big flaw of a lot of horror games that use lighting scripts is that they're too dark. Even with a light literally can't see more than one tile around you. So you did good here. I think it's a fair enough range. I also like how it sticks to your front. If you've ever navigated by lantern or other unfocused light source in real life and held it down low because holding it up was making your arm tired you know that your body keeps the light from illuminating what you see when you look behind you. Good job with this.

-Matches theory: This is a good idea because it gives a resource management mechanic but people who dislike that aspect can just use cheat engine or whatnot and have unlimited matches. It'd be good if you had another "out" for the player though so they wouldn't potentially have to rely on cheating. It'd suck to have to restart simply because you used too many matches. Even action games with a finite ammo supply usually give you a melee attack. Light sources in horror are the same. Another alternative suggestion is to just make it so you're not in 100% darkness without matches. It kind of looks like you have this for when the match goes out.

I've never worked with lighting scripts so I don't know if this is a realistic idea but what about having the lit match extend further than you can see without a match instead of just the brightness of the same front-facing oval area.

Also, yeah better to have matches than a flashlight with a battery that last 10 seconds.

Leave

Like others are saying with a clear story this would be an A+ game. It's got the horror down great with a good combination of creep factor, jump scare and chase. The rampant instadeath is fine due to being able to save almost anywhere, except in places where your fate is sealed.