RENDER'S PROFILE

-Story 4 has no place, I'm not sure if this is intentional or not.
-Story 5 "You shall be <player>,.." Shall is past-tensed, you could go with "You should be <player>."
-Yuriko's face is somewhat off on the phone screen. I'm not sure if you know this or not.
-Story 6 "You have any idea of how disgusting is seeing you like that?" Should have the word "it" after disgusting.
"There aren't anyone else drooling at the window." Aren't should be isn't.
"When made a move with her to prove that, she saw about four more guys spying the training." I'm not sure what Eliza was trying to say here.
"All the other trainings have less than half men on the crowd." Less than half men? Like, two and half-men? No idea what Eliza is trying to say here.
"Hopefully we'll end finish it up this time." This should be: "Hopefully
we'll end up finishing it this time." Or "Hopefully we'll finish it up this time."
"Admit, she the prettier girl in the whole school." Should be: "Admit it, she's the prettiest girl in the whole school." Or something like that.
-Profile Responses
"Well... January 3th..." This should be January 3rd.
"Let's exchange numbers it then. Guess it will be useful sometime." This should be: "Lets exchange numbers then. Guess it will be useful sometime."
-Story 8
"(Well, and here am I spending mine Saturday at the library.)" "Mine" should be "my."
"(I wonder what she was thinking when came up with this idea...)" After "when" there needs to be a "she."
"So, how much hours have you been here this time?" "Much" should be "many."
"Guess so, so let's just finish this up." "let's" should be "lets."
-Story 14
"(However, she started to draw something that I couldn't see and we didn't talked anymore.)" "Talked" should be "talk."

-When you actually get to know her, she's an interesting character.
-She's kind of witty.
-She definitely is not stupid. Big plus here.
-She admits her own mistakes. Which you don't see in a lot of characters, mostly because the writer or writers like(s) to make their character a Mary-Sue.
-I'm reading out of the story file currently, and I see that Eliza lunges at the player with scissors. WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY. Where'd she get the scissors from though? :o
-What's interesting about her route so far right now, is that I kind of want to play it again, but hit the landmines, BECAUSE MORE GIRLS NEED TO BE LIKE THIS. Just without scissors.

-She's very dynamic in a reeaaaally weird way when you talk to her on the phone. Mostly because she's all like "Video games, kittys, yeah!" That was exaggeration, but that's what I remembered from it. Now this isn't a bad thing, however it's odd and rare.
-I found myself getting annoyed how quickly she was to talk about her first world problems. I wouldn't mind a few, but she just went on and on about Shihoko, dating, etc.
-I don't understand the whole wolfy pack thing. I don't get what it's suppose to resemble, but that just might be because I have not gotten farther than the day they finished the project.
-When I was first meeting her, I thought she was the cliché angry character, and here's a basic summary of that: Any character who heavily dislikes the main character for unknown reasons, and is very hostile at the first meeting and continues their hostility to a certain point. An example of this would be Ellie from the Last of Us, Draco from Harry Potter, and Clerise from the Percy Jackson series. (I'm just pointing out ones that are popular, and/or you may or may not know of them.) Mayu from Uchioniko may be an example of this, but however it's used "tastefully," and Mayu is pretty subtle about it, which doesn't overdramatize it, and makes her more realistic.