IAMNOT'S PROFILE

I watched your cutscene, so here is some C&C.

I guess I will start with the characters themselves. They were not necessarily bad, but it felt like there was only one layer to them. They where, on a whole, forgettable. One guy wanted pay, two of them where kindhearted good guys, not as interested in rewards, and I don't even remember the last guy.
Try adding some small quirks to the characters, or things that are wrong. Make them imperfect. Also, try giving them some solid beliefs, things that they stand for. For example, the guy who wanted pay: Maybe he believes that the only way to victory is through pure strength, and so he concentrates on that, in the process making some rash or foolhardy decisions, maybe getting the party into trouble. But, at the same time, make sure he has redeeming qualities, while he focuses on strength, he is also incredibly loyal and would make sacrifices for his friends.

Also, giving each character a past, maybe one never even seen by the players eyes, is a great way to help set up your characters. Maybe they have a certain fear that is caused by an event in their past, or growing up in a certain setting gives them their beliefs or causes them to think the way they do.

Again, we will use the money guy for an example. Maybe he grew up poor, and so he feels like money is really important to him, something that will help make up for his poor childhood. Or maybe it is the opposite, maybe he grew up rich and is used to having money all the time, and is currently low on cash.

Once you have each character defined, dialogue will fall in place. It won't be perfect still, but at the very least it will help give your characters a distinguished personality which is the first step toward good dialogue. From there, you can work on refining what they say. A lot of the dialogue in your scene felt flat and stale, or as you put in your game, robotic. It just seemed generic. Try adding in distinguishing words, or phrasing things differently. Maybe try giving some of your characters dialects (but make sure it is readable!). Read your conversations aloud and see if they make sense to you, or seem like it is a conversation that would actually take place.

Also, don't put in fluff! Make everything in a conversation worth reading! Be it character development or story development, make sure it isn't there just to take space! And give your characters emotions! This is pretty hard, I have found, in an rpgmaker game, as a lot of times emotion is in the things you don't say, or your facial expressions, or when you write out the emotion it just seems cheesy. This is something I am still working one, the best way I have found so far is to animate sprites. I know that is not necessarily dialogue, but I think it is still an important part of making it feel real.


Bah, I kind of just went from the top of my head, so hopefully it makes sense and can be of use to you! Sorry I couldn't remember the characters names! I overall liked the cutscene though, I thought the puppet machine was really cool and well done!

It was the only place I could find any decent screens of the game.

Yes, Heart of Darkness is correct.

I am playing Fallout 3 right now and it is pretty awesome.

Also I did not like Sonic 3D Blast, I thought it was pretty terrible! But then again, I have never really been much of a Sonic person. (Mario!)

Pretty risky, but in the end it will be better for it. What is the use of these nifty game pages if no one goes to them? This will, I think, put more of a focus on them and give people reasons to update it.

I can see where some problems could arise though, such as getting people to check out your game page. Despite the fact it floats to the top when updated, some people might not like sifting through game pages to find interesting games!


Although I like the idea, I am feeling pretty conflicted! It will be for the better though I think.