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Screenshot_2.png

author=Caz
If I were being picky I'd use a semicolon, but its use is arguably necessary. I think a comma works just fine.

I think your mapping is okay but it could use some detail: more shelving, paper, paintings, rugs, etc.. You know, things that go in rooms normally.


Alright, if I put up a new version I'll be sure to include those, thank you for the tip.

Screenshot_1.png

author=kumada
There should be no comma between 'appreciated' and 'CFO'. Also, "under appreciated" should be "under-appreciated."

The nitroblitz thing feels like a shameless plug, and comes off as you (mmarage) talking up you (mmarage) and your company (nitroblitz) with your character (also mmarage) as just a mouthpiece. It's certainly possible that the game might subvert this, or make it more complex somehow, or that I'm really just missing the humor here, but this screenshot makes your game look like nothing more than an advertisement for your business, and that kinda puts me off.


Well this is to drum up business to his site, that was the whole purpose of making this game besides for the fun of it, and it's not as if the whole game is just nitroblitz.com nitroblitz.com nitroblitz.com, I'm pretty sure besides the name of one of the characters (My brother's) being Nitroblitz, it isn't completely advertising to people to check the site out, and my brother had to rewrite the intro since some circumstances in what was happening with the site's development, I didn't want to do it since I wrote this whole other thing for the intro so I told him to do it himself, in retrospect, not the best idea and I should have read through it to make sure that there weren't any typos in the writing, but he's twenty something years old so I thought he'd be more careful about doing something like that since it is his game and what's going to be advertised for his site and being put up on multiple sites.

Screenshot_4.png

author=chana
Your map is correct but too empy, add chairs, shelves, plants, paintings,etc.


Yeah, sorry about that, if I put up some additions to the game and get rid of any glitches in the game then I'll be sure to add more stuff to this part of the game and any other places that come off too empty, like the stairwells...

author=kumada
"I'm excited to be apart of this place"

should be

"I'm excited to be a part of this place."

Apart refers to two things that are separate. A part refers to one thing that is a component of another thing.


I know, I probably should have checked my brother's writing before putting everything up, he was leaving for California for the month so I was kind of rushing to get everything up since he asked me to make this game for him.
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