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Toaster_Team
966
Toaster_Team
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CloseWhat's the best way to convey to someone that you're angry at them for not keeping their word without the situation devolving into a conflict? I find those things delicate as I sometimes let me anger take over end up burning bridges.
On the other hand, I want the person to know that I'm annoyed and I don't want to bite my tongue.
Advice?
On the other hand, I want the person to know that I'm annoyed and I don't want to bite my tongue.
Advice?
author=Toaster_Team
What's the best way to convey to someone that you're angry at them for not keeping their word without the situation devolving into a conflict? I find those things delicate as I sometimes let me anger take over end up burning bridges.
On the other hand, I want the person to know that I'm annoyed and I don't want to bite my tongue.
Advice?
Um...
"I'm angry at you for not keeping your word but let's please not fight and instead go eat icecream, yay!!"
MadJak91
30
Tact while being on point without unnecessary emotions. The person needs to know they effed up and they need to know why you are disappointed.
Do not get angry and do not make it personal even if you feel that way.
There was a breach of trust and it is their fault so if the person gets angry or turns it into a conflict instead of you then it does not matter what you say and they probably have issues with your supposed mutual respect.
I think the best approach is to explain it naturally but critically.
"Hey. We had an agreement that but you broke it. It IS a problem and I need to know what happened."
Obviously, I have no idea what it was.
At this point you might get anything as I do not know the person so prepare for something the person would probably say. You know them probably.
You might hear a story that will anger you but avoid that and simply stress that word is a word and they broke it and you should know why.
Not sure how severe but I would be careful about further agreements. You do not have to immediately write off the person (we are all human anyway even if this does suck) but being careful next time will not hurt.
I would maybe avoid stuff like "...there will be no further deal like this" and similar unless necessary. Might sound like a threat to them.
Really. If THEY make it into a conflict then it is not your fault and just walk away. The person is not worth it in that state.
Do not get angry and do not make it personal even if you feel that way.
There was a breach of trust and it is their fault so if the person gets angry or turns it into a conflict instead of you then it does not matter what you say and they probably have issues with your supposed mutual respect.
I think the best approach is to explain it naturally but critically.
"Hey. We had an agreement that but you broke it. It IS a problem and I need to know what happened."
Obviously, I have no idea what it was.
At this point you might get anything as I do not know the person so prepare for something the person would probably say. You know them probably.
You might hear a story that will anger you but avoid that and simply stress that word is a word and they broke it and you should know why.
Not sure how severe but I would be careful about further agreements. You do not have to immediately write off the person (we are all human anyway even if this does suck) but being careful next time will not hurt.
I would maybe avoid stuff like "...there will be no further deal like this" and similar unless necessary. Might sound like a threat to them.
Really. If THEY make it into a conflict then it is not your fault and just walk away. The person is not worth it in that state.
It's good advice! Also, to add on it.
Always make it about YOU. What you expected, what you thought and felt. Not what "they did". We don't know what they did and chances are, they did it for completely different reasons than the effect it had on you. And that's why it shouldn't be about them being a certain way, but you needing things done a certain way because that's how you roll. They can be any way they want, but if they make an agreement with you, that's what you expect.
You CAN leave emotions completely out of it, but it can be hard on you, feel dishonest and at worst make the person not realize what really happened. So if you feel you want that golden balance, first say what your side experienced, then go to a neutral tone.
It allows you to still say what you feel (that you are angry because you expected something else), but at the same time are open to their side to find out what happened and how it could go better next time. That's the goal, after all.
Always make it about YOU. What you expected, what you thought and felt. Not what "they did". We don't know what they did and chances are, they did it for completely different reasons than the effect it had on you. And that's why it shouldn't be about them being a certain way, but you needing things done a certain way because that's how you roll. They can be any way they want, but if they make an agreement with you, that's what you expect.
You CAN leave emotions completely out of it, but it can be hard on you, feel dishonest and at worst make the person not realize what really happened. So if you feel you want that golden balance, first say what your side experienced, then go to a neutral tone.
It allows you to still say what you feel (that you are angry because you expected something else), but at the same time are open to their side to find out what happened and how it could go better next time. That's the goal, after all.
Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
So I was going to link "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees because it was the last thing I dreamt of before I woke up today and I thought this place could use more music that isn't Tidus, but Google dropped this bombshell on me and now I'm not so sure.
"39 seconds ago". Listen, I'm already having a hard enough time shaking the impression my family is cursed to speak death's name before it happens, so can we start making excuses why that isn't the case, please?
Also my cat had a poopybutt and my mom had to take her to the groomers for a shave, so this weekend is going great.
"39 seconds ago". Listen, I'm already having a hard enough time shaking the impression my family is cursed to speak death's name before it happens, so can we start making excuses why that isn't the case, please?
Also my cat had a poopybutt and my mom had to take her to the groomers for a shave, so this weekend is going great.
Because she sang it days before she died, not as she died. Also, it didn't cause her death. You're safe.
...why am I still awake? :sigh:
...why am I still awake? :sigh:
Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
It's the beginning of a new hour, so now you're getting this. SCIENCE
There's something beautiful watching a display of nature's sheer horrible ferocity at work set to a creation of the human mind. They couldn't have chosen a better song for it, too.
Truly a chilling performance; chaos and order dancing together as one, and this is what defines true art. It resonates independent of its own time. It takes the immemorial laws of the universe to which we are beholden, applies the common ancestral experiences of humanity, and compresses it down into something even the common man can hold in reverence. Homer the poet, Rembrandt the painter, and Mozart the composer, all heralded as the pinnacles of human ingenuity in their fields, understood these things.
Timeless art inherently defines humanity and, in turn, ensnares the spirit.
Corfaisus
So I was going to link "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees because it was the last thing I dreamt of before I woke up today and I thought this place could use more music that isn't Tidus,
Jeroen_Sol
Nothing reveals Humanity so well as the games it plays. A game of betrayal, where the most suspicious person is brutally murdered? How savage.
3885
I know it's just the wind, but I'd like to believe those leaves are moving due to the vast amount of energy they're pumping into the ground.
My bad eyesight made me think the leaves were rodents they had placed there to show how everything was safe.
Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
It's funny, when I started up Skyborn, I got about 5 minutes in and already knew I was in for a bad time. I could just feel the bullshit. Shortly after that, the shit really hit the fan and now I'm half an hour in and escaping from prison. I wish I had played this earlier so that I could get a refund.
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
5958
author=Toaster_TeamPunch them in the face. Say, "That was for lying to me. Now we're even." Hug them.
What's the best way to convey to someone that you're angry at them for not keeping their word without the situation devolving into a conflict? I find those things delicate as I sometimes let me anger take over end up burning bridges.
On the other hand, I want the person to know that I'm annoyed and I don't want to bite my tongue.
Advice?
Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
Do what a parent does and say "I'm not mad, just disappointed." They'll never live it down. It'll burn forever.
Or keep it bottled up inside and use one of these:
"Niceballs" is apparently an actual thing. It's a stress-relief synthetic scrotum that hangs on your desk for when you just can't "hang".
Nice. Balls.
Or keep it bottled up inside and use one of these:
"Niceballs" is apparently an actual thing. It's a stress-relief synthetic scrotum that hangs on your desk for when you just can't "hang".
Nice. Balls.
Corfaisus
Do what a parent does and say "I'm not mad, just disappointed." They'll never live it down. It'll burn forever.
That's strange...mine always told me, "I brought you into this world. I can take you out of it!"
Red_Nova
Sir Redd of Novus: He who made Prayer of the Faithless that one time, and that was pretty dang rad! :D
9192
I, uh, don't think that's how plate armor works.
Due to how slowly that gif loaded for me it looked like it might have been someone actually editing breasts sizes in some kind of character generator. (Also, breasts in general don't act like that. >.<; )
You know, I'm really surprised that there hasn't been a character generator that lets you do the mouse editing (like from Fallout 4 or Sims 4) kinda thing for breasts. Could you imagine the amount of time people would spend making the perfect pair of breasts? (and knowing the world, from there it wouldn't take long for genital editors) >.<;
A part of me is interested at the idea of a character generator that would allow full body sculpting in detail, but another part of me is like "I spend over an hour already trying to make a character in the current character generators as it is. I spent three hours making a character in the Black Desert one."
You know, I'm really surprised that there hasn't been a character generator that lets you do the mouse editing (like from Fallout 4 or Sims 4) kinda thing for breasts. Could you imagine the amount of time people would spend making the perfect pair of breasts? (and knowing the world, from there it wouldn't take long for genital editors) >.<;
A part of me is interested at the idea of a character generator that would allow full body sculpting in detail, but another part of me is like "I spend over an hour already trying to make a character in the current character generators as it is. I spent three hours making a character in the Black Desert one."
Besides, in most games your character's features get covered pretty quickly after finding the first armor set that features a full helmet or a bulky body armor.
Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
author=Red_Nova
I, uh, don't think that's how plate armor works.
It does in my crazy fantasy world of liquid metals applied directly to skin. We also have a high mortality rate, but we just blame that on the constant war.
