LOCKEZ'S FORUM RPG

You keep saying you "can't do anything" but there's nothing stopping you from attacking the enemy, Gourd.

Well, I mean, it's in its shell now. But there was nothing stopping you the last two rounds of combat when you used that excuse. I just want to make sure you are aware you can attack without a weapon.

Hey guys, sorry for the delays. Just so you know each of these turns takes me over an hour to do because there are so many damned players.

Idida1!
You reload. I don't have the heart to make you roll for success on reloading your gun. It's one of those old single-shot muskets that you have to put powder in each time, so it really does take a whole turn to reload.

Storm
You attempt to use your pole to attack, but are unable to move your arms more than a few inches. You are encased in sticky goo, though it's starting to drip off. You struggle, trying to free yourself.

Allen Hunter
You try to poke the Whelk in the eye with your fingers, but it went inside its shell just before you hit the A button. You end up poking the hard, electrified shell instead (rolled 3). This has the predictable result of electrocuting you, and you are now unconscious.

Gourd_Clae
You and your moogle, Limn, retrieve the ammo that Staph Tespan spilled everywhere like a noob.

Staph Tespan
You shout "DO A BARREL ROLL, MOTHERFUCKER" and run forward, shoulder first, tackling the Whelk and knocking it over (rolled 6). It was seriously not expecting this, and it falls over with a crash, landing on a stalagmite. Predictably, you are electrocuted in the process and also now have a broken shoulder. You would recive a -1 penalty to attack rolls if you weren't out cold. (Whelk HP: 10)

Nightowl
You receive funny looks as you put the bucket of snail slime in your backpack, or bindle, or pocket dimension or wherever you keep your inventory. Storm has been de-slimed and can now act freely again. You receive 1x Bucket of Slime. Yay? I wish I could say that I thought this was super weird, but the truth is that a bucket of slime is exactly what I was planning on giving Gourd_Clae if his attempt to mug the Whelk had been successful.

Zeuzio
You reload.

RabitZ
You try to reach up into the shell hole and try to stick a wrench up in the thing's craw (rolled 2). Unfortunately, it's retreated too far in, and you can't reach or even see any part of the snail's body.

Yellow Magic
You tap on the Whelk's shell, trying to be gentle enough to not provoke a counterattack (rolled 1). You provoke a counterattack anyway. It sends a shock through your pole. A ten foot wooden pole fortunately doesn't conduct electricity very well, but you can still definitely feel it and double over in pain. You are suffering from aftereffects of the electrical shock and will receive -1 to defense rolls next round.

MrChearlie
You dream that you are a valiant giant whelk, last of the snail knights, fighting to protect your homeland from a group of human barbarians who are invading it. You are outnumbered heavily, but have managed to defeat several of them already through your superior training and discipline. You know in your heart that you will probably die this night, but it will be a death of honor.

Arandomgamemaker
You stuff a pillow in the Whelk's shell opening. If you held it there for long enough, you could theoretically suffocate the creature. But it's a twenty foot tall monster and can probably overpower you, so you get the hell out of the way as soon as it's snugly in place. Whelk has received 1x Pillow.

Dorakyura
You enter your power stance, do your dragon shout, activate your limit break, charge up your ki, and do several other similar things that aren't actually real things (rolled 4). You feel super pumped with adrenaline, and will receive +1 to attack rolls and -1 to defense rolls next round.

End of Turn Event
The Whelk emerges from its shell. It is still knocked on its side.