LET'S WORK ON YOUR GAME DESCRIPTIONS!

Hrm. I feel a lot of this is exposition of what's happening the first chapter of the game, and should likely be left up to the player to discover on their own. I'd probably would go with something more like...

It's been fifteen years since Dragonmaster Alex was active. His son, Jared, looks to follow in his father's footsteps, with the help of his sister, Selene, and best friend, Kevin. His first step in his quest is to overcome the White Dragon Trial, sailing to Meribia in the process. And from there, untold adventure awaits!


This game seeks to be a direct sequel to Lunar - The Silver Star Story, possibly forgoing the events of Lunar 2 - Eternal Blue in the process. Of course, you should still expect to see a few friendly faces from the series, as well as some new ones.

...this. Though, I submit that I don't recall too much about Lunar's world to say with accuracy that the White Dragon Trial was actually in Meribia. I'm just going with that since the story seems to flow better with what you had written.

You might also want to mention how close to a legit Lunar experience you want to make, since this is clearly a fan-game. I might not recall much, but, I do know that it has this tactical grid system for combat, and it's own sense of humor.

Okay, thanks for that. So, maybe more like...

It's been fifteen years since Dragonmaster Alex was active. His son, Jared, looks to follow in his father's footsteps, with the help of his sister, Selene, and best friend, Kevin. His first step in his quest is to overcome the White Dragon Trial. After completing that, their itinerary has them sail to Meribia, and from there, untold adventure awaits!


This game seeks to be a direct sequel to Lunar - The Silver Star Story, possibly forgoing the events of Lunar 2 - Eternal Blue in the process. Of course, you should still expect to see a few friendly faces from the series, as well as some new ones.

...this?

I'm pretty sure you mean "sewers" instead of "suers", "inside" instead of "insite", and "goblins" instead of "gublins". Though, it being "gublins" instead might be part of the game-world than a legit misspelling, but, I thought I should mention it regardless.

There's also a few places where the sentence structure is out of whack. I detected instances of missing periods, and the line breaks serve no purpose that I can see. I'm not saying you shouldn't have them, but, the places where they are make no sense.

The touch-up I might recommend would look something like...

Valker is a hybrid of half-dragon and half-human, who lives in the lands of Foran. Populated with other hybrids, like him, it is something of a land of wonder. One day, he is called upon by the king of Everwill to clean up it's sewers of a goblin infestation. After defeating the leader of that band, he's sent to the town of Esper. From there, his destiny awaits.

...this. Though, that's only 364 characters, and a description needs at least 500. There's a few ways to make up the difference. You know the project best, but, if there's cool/interesting things about the game, or cool/interesting things that players can do, explaining what those are might help make up that difference.

*Edit: I'm not usually fond of feature lists, but, that could be a possibility, if they are interesting enough features.

I am not sure how good this is but here it is. Players assume the role of Mina in this direct sequel to Lunar Silver Star Story Complete, Mina a young Transfemale who hopes to become a great hero like her idols, the legendary Dragonmaster Dyne and her father Alex. At the insistence of her inventor friend Kevin, Mina travels to the nearby Dragon's Cave with her chicken companion Rudy, and sweetheart Lane, to seek a precious gem. When the team reaches the cave's interior, they find Nall, A wise dragon who sees hidden potential in Mina, and beckons her to travel the world and become its protector as the new Dragonmaster. Returning home, the group expresses mutual interest in Mina's quest; Kevin wishes to sell the dragon gem at a large city, so he can start his inventions Rudy wants to find out what she is, and Lane merely to protect Mina. The group sets off across the frontier to the port town of Saith to continue their journey.
As young Mina sets out on a quest to become the next Dragonmaster, after completing Nall's trail she then travels to the other dragons so she can undergo their trails.

author=Marrend
Hrm. I actually think fewer details might be in order, here.

In this direct sequel to Lunar - Silver Star Story Complete, players take on the role of Mina, the child of Dragonmaster Alex. Following the footsteps of her father, she visits the nearby Dragon's Cave with her pet companion, Rudy, and sweetheart, Lane. There, the find a rare gem, and a wise dragon, Nall, who futher becomes Mina to become the protectors of the world. The party regroups at their home, where others express interest in Mina's quest. Each person has their own reason to adventure, and with their wills and skills combined, perhaps, Mina can find her destiny as the next Dragonmaster.

I love it!!!!!!!!!! <3

At the beginning, of time when the earth was very young, there lived a group of people called the feather tribe. they lived in, peace for hundreds of years after, while the tribe started to disobey their god and a horde of unknown men invited their lands hoping to steal, kill and rape their women so now the invaders began to rule with an iron fist and exile anyone that takes up any arms against them, and you were that one now you must free your people and restore peace to the land and obey your god once more. dream color presents.