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SQUARE-ENIX DECIDES TO GIVE ALL OF ITS FANS THE MIDDLE FINGER BY RE-RELEASING THE PC PORT OF FF7 FOR THE PS4
Posts
Kiana
50
Kiana
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Closeauthor=Craze
http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120202170614/finalfantasy/images/5/53/FFXIII-2_Cait_Sith_Enemy.png
I want to make a cat in a hat joke about this, but nothing is coming to mind.
I was looking at that thing yesterday and like listening to that song but not really and then like the LYRICS started ("SO YOU THINK YOU CAN RIDE THIS CHOCOBO!?") I started to like really HEAR the song trying to like...be HARD about like chocobos and I just completely...absolutely...and...totally lost my shit...was just seizing uncontrollably from laughter for several minutes...true story.
That song is probably the most preposterous thing I have ever heard in my entire life. Is it actually used IN the game?
I don't want Squenix to make an FFVII remake anymore. I don't want them to make anything anymore. I think after this ridiculous bad metal song about chocobos they are done making things for good. At this point I just want them to sit down before they hurt themselves or someone else, the poor poor dears.
That song is probably the most preposterous thing I have ever heard in my entire life. Is it actually used IN the game?
I don't want Squenix to make an FFVII remake anymore. I don't want them to make anything anymore. I think after this ridiculous bad metal song about chocobos they are done making things for good. At this point I just want them to sit down before they hurt themselves or someone else, the poor poor dears.
I'll never understand why it's cool to pretend FFs 1-9 aren't flawed.
For elite chocobos hunts, yes. Nevermind that you ride them to war in several FF games and even recruit them in FFT, a game you hold dear, right?
author=Max McGee
That song is probably the most preposterous thing I have ever heard in my entire life. Is it actually used IN the game?
For elite chocobos hunts, yes. Nevermind that you ride them to war in several FF games and even recruit them in FFT, a game you hold dear, right?
author=Louis
I'll never understand why it's cool to pretend FFs 1-9 aren't flawed.
Nobody is pretending that. Everything has flaws. There's a difference between a flawed, but quality product and a noticeably downward spiral in quality and direction.
author=Louis
For elite chocobos hunts, yes. Nevermind that you ride them to war in several FF games and even recruit them in FFT, a game you hold dear, right?
What does that have to do with anything?
Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
author=LouisCyphre
I'll never understand why it's cool to pretend FFs 1-9 aren't flawed.
Don't even get me started; we'll be here all day.
I'll add to this list when I come up with more things, but just off the top of my head:
Final Fantasy I:
• Complete lack of direction a.k.a. "guess where you're supposed to go next"
• No auto-target correction when fighting monsters (your whole party will continue to attack thin air if a monster dies)
• Inventory restrictions
Final Fantasy II:
• Broken leveling systems
• Exploitable status ailments (auto-kill final boss)
Final Fantasy III:
(I've never actually played this game/seen it in motion past the first castle, but I'll fill this in once I've done some research)
Final Fantasy IV:
• Multiple sets of crystals to add padding to the game.
• Story wants to be more serious than it actually is.
• Worldmap is a boatload of ass.
Final Fantasy V:
• Jobs require an ungodly amount of grinding (especially in the higher ranks)
• Very easy to go from kicking ass to getting your ass mowed down (Red Dragons)
• Blue Magic/Summons (while they are awesome) can be easily missed in some situations (specifically Shoat)
Final Fantasy VI:
• Kefka's one-dimensional personality falls flat in so many ways.
• Broken battle mechanics
• Graphics are muddy and ugly as fuck.
• The story isn't really all that spectacular, regardless of whatever nostalgia may blind you into believing. Seriously, this game is about 80% nostalgia, 15% brand-loyalty and 5% actually good.
• This game ruined Moogles (they went from timid forest creatures in V to soldiers in VI)
Final Fantasy VII:
• Boring. as. fuck.
• Battles are slow and feel empty.
• Controls like a drunk monkey on a stepladder
Final Fantasy VIII:
• Drawing magic/micromanaging stats/GFs is a pain in the ass.
• Storyline is convoluted as all fuck.
• The modern setting just doesn't work at all (saving the world with swords and magic from an ancient evil of incredible, otherworldly power by driving cars).
Final Fantasy IX:
• Small things scattered throughout the game are annoying as fuck (Pandemonium's elevators/Frog Cid's hopping hedgehog mini-game).
• Some of the same problems FFV had with Blue Magic/Summons being a pain to get.
• How easy it is to shoot the first chunk of the story in the foot by renaming Garnet to "Garnet" instead of Dagger. "I'm so clever, I'm sneaking around in the open in broad daylight."
Final Fantasy I:
• Complete lack of direction a.k.a. "guess where you're supposed to go next"
• No auto-target correction when fighting monsters (your whole party will continue to attack thin air if a monster dies)
• Inventory restrictions
Final Fantasy II:
• Broken leveling systems
• Exploitable status ailments (auto-kill final boss)
Final Fantasy III:
(I've never actually played this game/seen it in motion past the first castle, but I'll fill this in once I've done some research)
Final Fantasy IV:
• Multiple sets of crystals to add padding to the game.
• Story wants to be more serious than it actually is.
• Worldmap is a boatload of ass.
Final Fantasy V:
• Jobs require an ungodly amount of grinding (especially in the higher ranks)
• Very easy to go from kicking ass to getting your ass mowed down (Red Dragons)
• Blue Magic/Summons (while they are awesome) can be easily missed in some situations (specifically Shoat)
Final Fantasy VI:
• Kefka's one-dimensional personality falls flat in so many ways.
• Broken battle mechanics
• Graphics are muddy and ugly as fuck.
• The story isn't really all that spectacular, regardless of whatever nostalgia may blind you into believing. Seriously, this game is about 80% nostalgia, 15% brand-loyalty and 5% actually good.
• This game ruined Moogles (they went from timid forest creatures in V to soldiers in VI)
Final Fantasy VII:
• Boring. as. fuck.
• Battles are slow and feel empty.
• Controls like a drunk monkey on a stepladder
Final Fantasy VIII:
• Drawing magic/micromanaging stats/GFs is a pain in the ass.
• Storyline is convoluted as all fuck.
• The modern setting just doesn't work at all (saving the world with swords and magic from an ancient evil of incredible, otherworldly power by driving cars).
Final Fantasy IX:
• Small things scattered throughout the game are annoying as fuck (Pandemonium's elevators/Frog Cid's hopping hedgehog mini-game).
• Some of the same problems FFV had with Blue Magic/Summons being a pain to get.
• How easy it is to shoot the first chunk of the story in the foot by renaming Garnet to "Garnet" instead of Dagger. "I'm so clever, I'm sneaking around in the open in broad daylight."
it's used for the red chococbo. there's a yellow chocobo theme too -- the red chocobos are just jerks.
also i hated Crazy Chocobo at first but i came to love it, like most of ffxiii-2
also i hated Crazy Chocobo at first but i came to love it, like most of ffxiii-2
author=Max McGeeHah, wouldn't be surprised if it was. That shit is just ludicrous but hilarious (for some reason, something as cheesy as a fucking metal song about kawaiibirds isn't exactly shocking from Square); I wouldn't put it past them to put something like that in the game.
I was looking at that thing yesterday and like listening to that song but not really and then like the LYRICS started ("SO YOU THINK YOU CAN RIDE THIS CHOCOBO!?") I started to like really HEAR the song trying to like...be HARD about like chocobos and I just completely...absolutely...and...totally lost my shit...was just seizing uncontrollably from laughter for several minutes...true story.
That song is probably the most preposterous thing I have ever heard in my entire life. Is it actually used IN the game?
@Lou: FF 1-9 are chocked full of flaws, ridiculousness, and shit that's impossible to take seriously. Just nothing that even fucking remotely approaches the level of that metal chocobo song from XIII-2.
Chocobos = Fine
Metal = Great
Chocobo Metal = Ludicrous
And for the record I am not complaining about it, it is SO STUPID in exactly the right way that it has like reaffirmed my fucking will to live.
Chocobos = Fine
Metal = Great
Chocobo Metal = Ludicrous
And for the record I am not complaining about it, it is SO STUPID in exactly the right way that it has like reaffirmed my fucking will to live.
author=Max McGee
And for the record I am not complaining about it, it is SO STUPID in exactly the right way that it has like reaffirmed my fucking will to live.
The entire game is like that. Gilgamesh has guns because of course he has fucking guns.
suzy_cheesedreams
1480
author=Corfaisus
• How easy it is to shoot the first chunk of the story in the foot by renaming Garnet to "Garnet" instead of Dagger. "I'm so clever, I'm sneaking around in the open in broad daylight."
...Honestly, I never thought of doing that (then again I always went with the default character name in any game where you could choose their name :/ ).
9 is probably my favourite, as I feel it has the most cohesive plot and setting (relative to the other FF games I've played), and well developed characters. I can't really think of much that I dislike about this game other than maybe Quina. 7 & 8 (the only other games out of 1-9 I've fully played) have more obvious flaws, to me at least, than 9.
There's all sorts of terrible music in XIII-2. Unfortunately I find most of it really catchy, although some songs are just so bad that I haven't made a habit of listening to them (the red chocobo song being one of them XD).
Max, you should really just play XIII-2. It has so many rich layers of life-affirming stupidity that it would be a shame for you to miss it.
Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
Trust me, FF9 is my favorite, too. Like, perhaps my favorite game ever, but I had to make a counterargument to:
author=LouisCyphre
I'll never understand why it's cool to pretend FFs 1-9 aren't flawed.
suzy_cheesedreams
1480
I understand. I think misty, childhood nostalgia plays a big part in the popularity of those games, but some of them are just... good games.
WolfCoder
3554
I was looking at that thing yesterday and like listening to that song but not really and then like the LYRICS started ("SO YOU THINK YOU CAN RIDE THIS CHOCOBO!?")
When you didn't think Final Fantasy could get worse:
Is…this real? Is this really from FF13-2???
Man, this is the first time I’ve heard this in person (because I’ve never played FF13 or any of its sequels before – and I don’t think I will anytime soon), but wow… And they actually seriously used that in-game? My god…
This...this is just beyond retarded.
Man, this is the first time I’ve heard this in person (because I’ve never played FF13 or any of its sequels before – and I don’t think I will anytime soon), but wow… And they actually seriously used that in-game? My god…
This...this is just beyond retarded.
Neok
3602
Can you imagine there was a time when FF7/SE was legitimately awesome? When you load it up for the first time and it was just,
None of that dirge of cerberus, advent children, gackt, retconning bullshit. Just straight up here's a mysterious flower girl, zoom out and it's a grimy-looking street hmm that's cool, zoom out even more WHOA it's an epic steampunk futuristic city with a super epic theme PLASTER THAT TITLE SHIT ALL OVER THAT SCREEN YEEEES, now quick epic zoom in on another part of the city where a train is coming in, and shit is going down hot DAMN this is my JAM.
Like imagine if they had been even remotely competent and hadn't screwed up that franchise, what could've been,
IMAGINE IT
DID YOU IMAGINE IT? GOOD, BECAUSE THIS IS SE TODAY:
None of that dirge of cerberus, advent children, gackt, retconning bullshit. Just straight up here's a mysterious flower girl, zoom out and it's a grimy-looking street hmm that's cool, zoom out even more WHOA it's an epic steampunk futuristic city with a super epic theme PLASTER THAT TITLE SHIT ALL OVER THAT SCREEN YEEEES, now quick epic zoom in on another part of the city where a train is coming in, and shit is going down hot DAMN this is my JAM.
Like imagine if they had been even remotely competent and hadn't screwed up that franchise, what could've been,
IMAGINE IT
DID YOU IMAGINE IT? GOOD, BECAUSE THIS IS SE TODAY:
author=WolfCoder
I used a Fragment Skill to change all of the chocobo music in XIII-2 to Crazy Chocobo.
New SE is best SE.
New SE is best SE.
