Guardian of the Description Thread
@Zakariya: That fan-fic reminds me that I started a "part 2" in regards to this post. Of course, I haven't gotten very far with it.

Poor Kloe!
Every misdeed has its own punishment, and every good deed has its reward.
Poor Kloe!

Lia is relentless, and will do whatever she pleases until someone reforms her. :P

She's also quite a hypocrite, seeing as how she criticizes Trevor for being an immoral psychopath...

...and she's not exactly a better person. :P
I lost my arms in a tragic chibi accident
Yup, I had to take a bath after that :P

But yes, that was really great Zaky, I loved it, though I have to admit Lia never knew I'm into girls too, but she doesn't need to know :D

I wonder if there will be a part three? Dun Dun DUUUUUUUUN
Every misdeed has its own punishment, and every good deed has its reward.
Yup, I had to take a bath after that :P

Hopefully it wasn't in a bathtub that Trevor used. XP

I wonder if there will be a part three? Dun Dun DUUUUUUUUN

If there is, Trevor better go into hiding. :P
I lost my arms in a tragic chibi accident
Okay, I'm in a fanfictiony mood and I had some ideas, so I'll just write some until I fall asleep!
First, I wanna start a series called "Kloe☆♡☆Harold: A lost bet"
Kloe☆♡☆Harold: A lost bet episode 1
Tags: A little Nsfw, but no sex scenes (yet), betting.

"Haaaaaaaaaaroooooooold, I'm booooooooooored!" Kloe moaned.
It had been a long day, they were sitting under a tree, on a hot summers day, it was really boring.
"So, what could we do?" Said Harold, hoping for inspiration to strike him.
"Oooh! Oooh! We could play truth or dare!" Said Kloe, but instatly Harold replied "No!"
After a couple minuetes Harold had an idea, "Okay, we'll see who can run back to my house the fastest, the loser has to do whatever the winner says for the rest of the afternoon!" Harold said with a smile!
"You're on, let's do this!"

"3, 2, 1, GO"

Kloe tripped immediately and ran after Harold after getting up, but he was already far away, there was nothing she could do but accept that she had lost.

As she walked into Harold's house, she was scared, but where was he? She just wanted to get it over with!
She walked forward one more step, as she was then tackled to the ground, before she knew, her hands were ziptied and a piece of tape was over her mouth. Was he about to have sex with her!?
She sat down, as Harold stood infront of her looking down.

"Sorry sweetie, but you lost, so I'm gonna do whatever I want to you, and you have to do whatever I tell you to, haha! At least it'll aliviate the boredom." Harold said before sticking his tongue out.
"Mmmmphf! Mmfff!"
"Haha, nope, you can't talk. I'll let you in on the first secret, we're gonna have 1 more bet, I'll tie you up in the bedroom, if you can break free and tie me up before the time limit is over, I'll let you do whatever you want to do to me instead, and I'll do whatever you want me to do. Deal?" He smirked, happy with the deal he'd struck.
"Oh, also, if you can't, you mut do whatever I want and I can do whatever I want to you, for 2 days, not just this afternoon!! Mwhahahaha!"
"Mmmpfh!! Mmmpfh!"
"Is that a no? Oh well, I bet it's a yes, hahahaha!"

10 minuetes later, Kloe finds herself tied spread eagle on the bed, except not like usual, but upside down, face to the pillow. How would she escape this!? Damn that Harold!

So 30mins came and gone, and Harold came back. Time limit over, so she'd have to put up with his shenanigans for 2 days... Oh god, what had she gotten herself into!?

"Okay, before school tommorow, I'm gonna buy some stuff so I'm ready, so I'll leave you like this!!" Harold said, as he put her laptop by her hands and untied her hands, before tying the rest of her down.

She used the time he was gone to gam mak and to chat with her friends... And also dreading what would happen the next two days.

Harold came back, and untied her mostly, but kept the original ziptie and tape on.
"Kneel Kloe, you're going to pleasure me, and swallow." He said, filling her eyes with dread.
He then stuck her legs to the floor with tape, she didn't resist as she had to keep her word to let him do what he would. He then dropped his pants, revealibg the long shaft which always made her sore in the mornings. "Kloe, you have to do this, it's the rules!" He said, before ripping off the tape from her mouth!
"Owww! And do I have to?! I don't want t-" Kloe said before stopping, confused by Harold's laughing.
"Jeez Kloe, I was kidding, I'd never force you to, that's your choice to do so when you want, during sex, not now, haha"
She headbutted him disapprovingly, then said
"So what do I have to do?"

"Nothing much, just wear these under you clothes tommorow during school! Hahaha. Oh and let me use the remote"
He pulled out somethibg from a bag
"You have got to be kidding me... No way!? Remote controlled vibaratibg panties!? Wha!? I didn't even know they existed... But at school... I dread to think what would happen..."
And to find out, read episode 2 once I write it someday!

Next, a fanfic suggested by Frogge:
VseX Ace: Eric and the Hentai gam Episode 1: The copy paste
Tags: Mentions of sleeping with girls, Erics!!

"So what is this gam like, Gammakr?" Asks Eric, breaking the forth wall.
"This is a hentai gam, Eric, you need to have sex to gain exp!" Said the gammakr.
A smile appeared over the grey haired knight's face, obviously happy at that news!
"Woooohoooo! Hentaaaaai gam!! So how do I find the girls to bang?" Asks Eric

The gammakr copies and pastes the Eric, to make Eric 1-6.
"Woah, so many Erics!" Said Eric 3
"Yes, 1 for each girl to bang! That should make it easier!" Said gammakr

Gammakr creates a new event, Kloe, and Eric 5 instantly falls in love. He trys to dye his hair pink, and make himself look handsome, even changes his name. He becomes Harold.
They go into Map 3 to have kinky sex adventures in other fanfics!

Then one dyes his hair orange and calls himself Ralph... He falls in love with Nessy, and they run away together into MV...

Another dyes his hair blue, and finds some goggles, he even calls himself Simon. He finds a boy named Frogge to jump onto.

And so, only Eric 1, 6 and 4 remain. Find out what happens to the three other VseX ace Heroes next time!
I wanna marry ALL the boys!! And Donna is a meanc
Next, a fanfic suggested by Frogge

You could have mentioned that you were the one who asked for ideas XD
Guardian of the Description Thread
I'm... not sure if I'm totally okay with you just giving up in regards to the race, Kloe. Otherwise, geeze, Harold, what are you doing? We need Kloe to bowmiester for us!

*Edit: I could be taking that story too seriously for my own good.

This was originally going to be a concept for an interactive fiction. But, I didn't have the energy for that at the moment, so I turned it into this instead. I give you:

Pokestyles by Roquette

Welp, I'm bored - let's do something a little different, shall we?

Pokestyles by Roquette
By Hexatona

You are a member of Team Rocket, and this is a front. These gullible rubes bring their rare pokemon to the mobile grooming center, and your job is to dress up some common pokemon to give back to them - then booting it out of town before anyone's the wiser.

It's your first customer of the day. You just got an Onix. You have a Bidoof.

You can make this work.


After the better part of five minutes, you and your partner had it out. There was some name calling, some questioning of the other's work ethic and ability. Eventually, it was agreed: this WAS total bullshit, but shit always falls downhill on Team Rocket so we were always prepared.

That was our motto: "We've seen worse."

A quick look around the grooming center reveals the tools of your trade: Invisible tape; Costume Foam; Spray Paint (although you're running a bit low on yellow); Wire; Several Stencils; and Ready-Set Glue.

Oh, there was shampoo and brushes and scissors too but that was all for show in the front.

Before you even begin, though, you ask your partner just how much the brass wants an Onix. If you're going to pull this off, it better be for a good reason. She looks through the binder, and tells you the going rate. Bagging an Onix would probably get you two promoted.

Alright, you've got this.

Thank the gods, this Onix was just a young fellow - he actually fit in the back of the van.

A Plan was already forming. You told your partner to start making muppet foam boulders for now.

You got to work on the Bidoof.

Gods, these things were so dull, you honestly felt zero pity for them. I mean, you could just go walking through the woods and trip over one, pick it up and put it in a bag. It wouldn't even try to escape. These things just all hang out in huge groups, shitting all over each other - they're dumber than birds.

And this one just sat there with his stupid teeth, staring at you with it's one good eye. The other one was lazy or something, no look of intelligence at all in those depths.

First, you went over and grabbed a few cans of spray paint. First a base white coat, then grey, with a few dustings of draker greys. There! Magnifacent. It looked like it was a statue.

You went over to the binder, and looked at the picture once more. Nodding, you memorized the basic features of the head.

Actually, before you joined Team Rocket, you had been a hair stylist. You did not miss the work, but you were still good at what you did.

The Bidoof's fur was stiff from the paint, which was perfect. With your scissors, you artfully carved the hair puffs into something resembling an Onix's head. But, it wasn't enough. Grabbing some gel, you smoothed over a few patches here and there, making hard corners. Yes. better. There was still something missing, though.

Your partner handed you a handful of the foam boulders. Good, good. They were a bit flimsy, but they certainly had the right look to them. Carefully, you opened a hole in one of them and eased the body of the Bidoof into it. Yessssssss. No. It flopped over. It can't flop over when that idiot came to pick it up again.

Conference time. You two needed a way to keep this thing upright long enough. They suggested weights, you did not think that would be enough. Some kind of fishing line holding it up? Too risky. A flattened base? Not a bad idea. Suddenly, inspiration struck you, and you sent back your partner to grab a particular item.

That bidoof is still looking at you with it's half-conscious stare. Gods, you hate these things.

You don't really recall any specific incident that made you start hating Pokemon as much as you do now. Perhaps it was just that you never had the opportunity to be a proper trainer. Or maybe it was the way the world rubbed your face in it by constantly revolving around abolutely everything Pokemon. It strikes you as almost fate though that you get to be part of the subversive action using the Pokemon themselves as the Lever and fools the fulcrum to topple the world.

While your partner was fetching what was needed, you went about modyfying the Onix body. A few holes here, hollowing out there...

With equal distain for these pitiful excuses for Pokemon, your partner placed two more Bidoofs on the table for you. Excellent.

With your partner's help you sliped the two Bidoofs into the hollow recesses you carved in the boulders, put their little feet through the holes at the base. Hmm... still missing something... Ah yes! Spraypaint!


No, not there yet...

The monstrocity DID look competently Onix-like. The Face was alright, and the bidoofs at the bottom of the form now acted as supports to keep it upright. Actually, the middle bidoof kept moving the faux-Onix around and mashing the top Bidoof into walls. You tried not to laugh a lot.

But, no, it needed to look more groomed.

We hemmed and hawed. You wanted some chrome paint. Your partner wanted a glossy laquer. As usual, they were right in these matters.

After your ministrations, you both took a step back and marveled at your handiwork. Like a pair of art snobs, you instinctively held the classic pose - an arm across the chest, the other arm resting upon it with the hand contemplatively holding the chin.

"By gum, we've done it again."

There it stood, all shiney and new looking. The bidoofs on the bottom stopped trying to move around, and the one at the top just looks kinda sleepy - which actually really did help with the deception. But your partner was definately right - the shiny laquer is very distracting. This is totally going to work. It shouldn't, but it will - just like it always has.

You are reminded of some of your other collosal exploits. Like that one time you were trying to turn some Kakunas into a Scyther. Or damn, you almost blocked this one out: That one time you both jacked a Ponyta with some Pidgeys.

You love this job.


Yup, it worked. What a goddamned rube. You don't know who you loathe more - those stupid Bidoofs, or the trainers.

As the rube walked away with three Bidoofs and a muppet costume, that Onix was already in the Team Rocket Gyms.

Maybe this will teach parents not to let their kids run around at 10 years old.

As for you two? You got yourselves a little vacation!

"Ready, partner?" you ask as you get into the driver's seat after closing up the mobile grooming center.

"Take us Home! Blast off at the speed of light!" your partner exclaims, pointing forward.

You smile your best smirk, and continue, "Pokestyles Roquette! When it comes to chic we know what's right!!"

Just as you slam on the gas and leave town, through your own echoing laughter, you hear a faint sound from the back.

"Bidoof! Doof Doof!"

"Shaddup!" you both yell, and you're on your way.

Guardian of the Description Thread
Chapter 2 of the Zakariya/Masako fan-fic, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Zakariya was a bit confused, "So, what does that mean? Where can we go from here?"

Masako considered the question, then admitted, "With the right kind of power, anywhere you could conceive of. The Door of Possibilities allows as much. It might be possible that my own powers will allow us access to certain places, but perhaps not sufficient to get you to your home-plane."

"Right kind of power? So, we're talking somebody like whoever, or whatever, sent me here, or somebody like Principal Ogyu."

Masako nodded, then tilted her head a bit, "Yes, somebody like Principal Ogyu might work."

Obviously, something was clicking together in Masako's head. He queries, "What are you thinking, Masako?"

She quirked an eyebrow briefly, then "There may be another Arbiter we could ask outside of the Yamamotos. Though, to be fair, one is unfortunately senile, and the other is as a child. They would both lie beyond the Door of Possibilities."

"I see. Well, we're not getting anywhere just standing here, talking. Let's go!"

Masako nodded, and let him to the principal's office. She touched a large, old picture, and a gate of light appeared before them. "This should lead us to another Matsumori High. This is the last known location of the other two Arbiters I mentioned."

"Last known location? So, you're not even sure they're there!?"

She sighed, then admitted, "Not entirely. However, this is the best lead we have to get you to where you belong."

With some trepidation, he passed through the portal.

Zakariya woke with a headache. As the haze cleared, he noticed two women. He recognized Masako, but the other? She wore a robe and had wings? He spoke his thought, "What the hell?"

The angel, for what other name could she be called, regarded him, and spoke, "What in Heaven's name, thou might say."

"Am... I dead?"

"Nay, this is not the afterlife. However, thou hast passed through portals to get to this Sanctuary."

"Wait, wait. Portals? As in more than one?"

Masako contributed, "Two, to be precise."


"Yes. However, it appears something has come into existence because of your presence in this place. Look to your side."

Zakariya looked and saw the object. He stared at it for some time, not really believing that it was there. Yet, it looked like a lightsaber, and it could be activated. "So," spoke the angel, "it appears to be a weapon after all."

Masako sighed, then said, "I suppose such a thing will be necessary. There is no telling what we might come across. In any event, thank you for the directions."

"'Tis a pleasure, friend. May the road that thee travel be free of danger!"

Hopefully, when/if I get to Chapter 3, that will close this story. I guess we'll see, though!
Every misdeed has its own punishment, and every good deed has its reward.
That was highly...interesting. XD

In regards to this line....

He spoke his thought, "What the hell?"

I do indeed speak my thoughts...all the time. XP

Which resulted in undesired reactions in some situations.
*only just discovers there's a non-erotic fanfiction thread*
theme: cid highwind - romance versus reality
some swearing, some melodrama corniness
otherwise SFW

Rocket Town Rikk

"Dreams, kid: don't fucking bother."

Rikk stifled a sigh as his grizzled employer stood over him in a swirling cloud of cigarette smoke and self-pity. He could feel the man's severe blue eyes boring into the back of his head, hunting for any murmur of contentment so he could stamp it out.

But then Rikk's thoughts circled back inevitably to his mother, and he resolved to push the eyes out from his head and get on with replacing that busted tyre.

Cid grunted, annoyed at Rikk's silence. Rikk's stomach grumbled, and Cid laughed.

"Come on, kid. Leave that for now and get some grub."

Complying, Rikk rose and dusted himself off as Cid unpacked carefully prepared food from a dented lunch pail.

"Smoked chocobo on rye," said Cid as he handed the sandwich over. Sitting on the hood a grimy red truck, he looked to the defunct rocket towering over the town. "Sad, ain't it?"

Rikk squinted at the ruin. He shrugged.

"Fuck!" Cid swatted Rikk's arm. "Show some goddamn respect!"

Pushing down the urge to smear his sandwich over Cid's ruddy, screwed face, Rikk looked again at the rocket.

"The majesty of it," said Cid, watching the boy. His knotted shoulders drooped with a guttural sigh. "Ah... what the fuck would you know."

Rikk saw that the rocket, slanted though it was, parted the sky into two distinct halves. One side was blue-white, the other densely black. When he looked back at Cid, the man's own expression had darkened.

"Storm's been hanging over the town for days."


"There's been a terrorist attack in Midgar!" said Rikk's mother as he wandered inside. Her eyes were wide and fearful, the whites glowing eerily in the frenetic light cast from the TV screen. Seeing Rikk place sorely needed gil on the weathered kitchen table before her, her look softened. "I'm so proud of you!"

Rikk wished he could tell her how uncomfortable Cid made him, but there was little point in doing so. His chest prickled; something was trying to claw out. He swallowed and smiled. "Thanks."

"Soon we'll have the month's rent!"

Seeing his mother's relief, hearing it in her voice, Rikk was able to push away the day's stress with ease, like poking a leaf along a stream. He dragged the free chair from under the table and collapsed into it.

"Have you eaten?"

"A sandwich."

"Oh, lovely. I bet Shera made it."

"I guess." Rikk smiled at the thought of Cid lovingly crafting those sandwiches. A cigarette falls from his lips, landing with a ptt between slices of chocobo and cheese. "Didn't taste like ash."

"Oh!" said his mother with a shocked laugh. "He's not rough, is he? He has a reputation... I've HEARD him speak - "

"No, Cid's fine. Just a joke, mom."

She nodded slowly. Uncertainty etched into her face, she returned her attention to the TV.

Wind blew, and the leaf floated back.


"Your dad wasn't good with machines, was he?"

"I don't know."

"Ehh... maybe I'm thinking of some other geezer." Cid puffed on his third cigarette of the morning. "You ever hear about my dad?"


Cid laughed scornfully. "That's 'cause he wasn't around!" Another draw from the cigarette. "He fucked off when I was younger than you."

Rikk glanced upwards. "Sorry."

"For what?" snapped Cid. "Shit, son."

Rikk's body tensed up. Not THAT word.

"Where'd your dad get to, anyway?"

"The war. Never came back."

"Oh. Dead?"

"No. He just never came home."

A laugh so loud and abrupt burst from Cid that it made Rikk jump out of his skin.

"Probably snoozing on a beach in Costa Del Sol!" said Cid, grinning. "Thought of doing that myself... but I could never leave the rocket."

Rikk rolled his eyes.

"Hey!" said Cid with a smack.


Rikk abandoned his usual route home to walk by the rocket that afternoon. He nearly lost his footing a couple of times trying to wade through the thorny undergrowth of the neighbouring forest.

Staring up at the sad, slumped machinery, Rikk remembered how he and his friends had once thought it haunted.

But he knew now those sounds - erratic, drunken wails - were caused by the man who loved the rocket most of anybody in the town.

Pity stirred in Rikk's chest, but he screwed up his nose, and it turned to disgust.


Rikk was surprised when the air was cool enough to warrant a jacket that night.

Rent money in hand, he wandered through the dark to the hotel.

Inside it was as humid as a sauna. Shrieks of laughter and busy chatter filled Rikk's ears. Then:

"Get the fuck outta here, you little punk!"

Frowning, Rikk scanned the crowd of townspeople for his landlady. She ushered him over with an eager look as the barkeeper rolled his sunken eyes.

After pocketing the money soundlessly, she grabbed Rikk by the arm and pulled him into her circle of wobbly friends.

"Howzit working for Highwind, kid?" slurred one man.

Rikk shrugged and nodded, not bothering to even try to be audible in the suffocating din.

"Bet he won't shut up about you-know-who..."

"The Bride, we call her," said the landlady as she rested against Rikk's shoulder.

Rikk couldn't help himself. "Not the rocket?"

"Thass the one," said the particularly drunken friend.

The landlady continued mockingly: "Day and night. Night and day. I've never seen a man so bereft!"

"And there's Shera, as good a womanaztherever was!"

"Wasting her life," said another, quieter man. He slammed the table with his fist. "What the hell for?"

Rikk's eyes narrowed. He wondered why no one stood up for Shera when she was actually around, if they cared so much.

He scratched his ear absent-mindedly. Adults had a habit of neglecting his age. He attempted to escape from the group, but the landlady pulled on his arm.

"Want a cola, love?" she said into his ear. "I'll buy a bottle for your mother too."

"Thanks..." and he settled back down.


Rikk knew his mother was sitting up, waiting for him to come home. He clasped the bottle of cola in his hand, feeling its coldness slip away with each step.

But he wasn't going home - not yet, at least. Something pushed him along the deviant path from home just as wind had pushed that leaf.

Pinprick stars outlined the rocket. It towered over him, vague patches of its dirtied, faded colours illuminated by light from the town; but otherwise, it was a hulking black shape against dark, swirling clouds.

Rikk bent and felt about the grass for a rock. A grin flashed across his face as his fingertips brushed over one.

He straightened, and threw the stone at the rocket. A small clang. Not satisfying enough. He searched the ground for bigger rocks.

A loud cry made him stand up so violently the cola bottle slipped from his hand and smashed against a tree root.

"The fuck?" said a shape staggering out of the rocket.

Rikk knelt down, wishing he could soak into the undergrowth like the wasted cola.

"Helloooooooooo?" Cid called out to the darkness. He leant over some railing and growled: "You little fuckers..."

Confused, Rikk froze into place. He felt rain dribble through his hair and down his face.

Cid walked slowly and menacingly down the metal stairs and platforms, a red glimmer hovering by his mouth. He stopped at the last few steps, inhaled, and flicked the cigarette into the grass.

Why can't I move? Rikk heard himself think, through the throbbing of his own panicked heart. He felt as though the tree roots were holding him there, and all he could move were his eyes; they followed Cid's every movement; watched the red cigarette end somersault away.

They watched as Cid walked forwards, slipped, and fell backwards against the wet stairwell.

"Ahh! Fuck!"

Rikk hurried to Cid and stood over the writhing man. Pain twisted his face. Rikk stared at him, his mind blank.

"What the shit are you doing? Help me up!"

Rikk extended a hand. Cid grasped it forcefully, and heaved himself upwards.

After a moment of puffing and spluttering, Cid said: "You threw something at the rocket."

"A rock," blurted Rikk. "I threw a rock at your rocket."

Cid looked confused. He still had hold of Rikk's arm.

Rikk wrenched it away.

"You are a weird kid." From the angle he was facing, Cid's face had been divided into black and white by the town's light. The eye in the dark half glowed unaturally blue.

Rikk returned the stare. "You're the one sitting alone in a broken machine while everyone else laughs at you." He didn't know if that expression in Cid's face was contempt, or shame. If it was both, maybe that was why Rikk felt so uncomfortable.

The sound of the rain filled the gaping silence between them. Rikk moved backwards from the slumped man.

"...I gotta get home to my mom."

He hurried away, grass squelching underfoot. For once, he couldn't feel the man watching him.


Rikk didn't know how to explain to his mother how excrutiatingly uncomfortable it would be to continue to be under Cid's employ.

He asked around town for more work, any work. There was nothing. The landlady, who'd been kind enough to buy him drinks earlier that week, looked annoyed that he had even suggested it.

As he moped through the town's main street, a gentle hand reached out and brushed his arm.

"There's gossip you're after more work," said Shera.

Rikk blocked out the sun from his eyes with his hand. "Yeah."

"I have some things for you to do." She walked towards their house. "Come on."

They went inside.

"I know he's difficult to be around," she said as she turned on lights throughout the dark house. "But that failed launch... it destroyed him."

"So?" said Rikk before he could stop himself.

She looked at him frankly.

"What right does that give him to be such an asshole?" he continued, emboldened. "He's a joke!"

That confidence drained away as quickly as it had flushed through him. Shera was frowning, her arms crossed. Rikk felt that hot, uncomfortable feeling in his chest again. He knew it wasn't his place to say; but then, why wasn't anybody saying much of anything at all?

The front door opened and slammed shut. Shera's posture straightened lightning-quick.

"I don't smell any goddamn mu stew!" came the predictably barbed cry. "Oh. What do you want?"

Rikk didn't answer. He tried to dash out, but Cid shot his arm across the doorway. Rikk flopped back, stunned, but trying not to show it on his face.

"He needs a bit more work. I could use the help," said Shera.

Cid stubbed out his cigarette on the kitchen counter.

"So long as you get lunch ready, I don't give a shit what he does for you."

He stormed off.

Rikk wrung his hands together as Shera gathered ingredients from the cupboard. Wordlessly, he helped her prepare the stew.

"Just cut enough mu meat for one large portion. I don't really care for it, myself," said Shera. "Unless you want any, of course!"

Once Shera had disappeared from his side for a single moment, Rikk grabbed the discarded cigarette butt and tossed it into the simmering vegetable broth.

He could stand working for her after all.


I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
Every thread is erotic if you're brave enough
Strange confusion of pseudo-paternal and professional boundaries between a man and a teenaged boy + obsession over giant phallic object = erotic subtext
Fuck, man, I guess I'll post this here too.

Flirting Lesson: A Gravity Falls joint
(Based on this storyboard sequence.)
Some minor/jokey implications of incest at the end, but eh, you'll be fine.
Stan sat down beside the lovely lady. “Why, hello, miss. Is that The Duchess Approves I spy? My, what discerning taste!”

Ford sat down beside her as well. “Hello, ma’am,” he said. “May I have a look at your reading matter?”

The woman got up and walked away.

Stan turned towards Ford. “Idiot! You ruined my chances!”

“I did not!” said Ford. “I was just doing as you instructed! ‘Follow my lead,’ remember!”

“Yeah, but not at the same time, genius,” growled Stan.

Meanwhile, from behind the bushes, Mabel snapped a photo of her grunkles with their flowers. “Haha, blackmail!”
My interpretation of the beginning of Paladin's Quest:

When Chezni awoke, for a brief moment he wondered if he had been taken to some strange place, dumped, and forgotten. All the sounds and sights of his upbringing were gone. But as he stood up from the dry earth and looked about, the sudden realization that this was indeed his home sent him reeling back to the ground.

His world had changed. What was once a bright school ground filled with happy students and reproachful teachers, was now a blasted wasteland. Every structure now lied in heaps of shattered masonry, and the smoldering shapes within were too horrific to contemplate.

In a daze, Chezni got up again, and tried to piece together what had happened. The last thing he could remember was strange machinery, a sense of fear, a face in the dark. Wait, wasn't he with someone? Where was Duke?

He searched the whole grounds, wandering from pile to pile, but found nothing. He thought perhaps everyone had escaped to the neighboring town. Had they all left him there?

Approaching the entrance, he finally did see someone he recognized. "Master!" Chezni cried out.

But the Master's eyes were glazed over in horror and sadness. When they did finally turn towards him, something approaching life entered the Master's Eyes. And hateful scorn.

"Chezni? Is that you!? The school of magic has been destroyed - all the pupils are dead!" said the Master. Without waiting for Chezni to reply, he grabbed the boy by the shoulders and stared right through him. "You two idiots went into the forbidden tower, didn't you! You broke the seal on Dal Gren! You've doomed all of Lennus!"

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't know! I was just-"

"I don't care! You released it - you have to destroy it. Yes... You have to destroy it, Chezni."

"B-but... I'm only 13 years old!"

The Master did not reply. He wouldn't even look at Chezni again. He simply walked away, and disappeared among the rubble, mumbling to himself with a hollow look in his eyes.

Chezni cried out again, "But - but what do I do? I don't know what to do!"

But the Master was gone.

And so, Chezni began walking. And to each town he visited, the weight of his crime bore down upon him as he witnessed the fruit of his works.
Pretty good, Hexatona! Nice and upsetting.
Thanks, Healy. I think the abruptness of the beginning of Paladin's Quest always stuck with me. How a group of 8-15 year olds sitting next to a world-ending machine didn't start the apocalypse before Chezni, I have no idea - but apparently in this world: You break it, you bought it!

In most games in this genre, you are usually the chosen hero because of some reason, or maybe you're the only one that knows the problem. Not here though!

I'm sure I've mentioned this somewhere before, but there actually doesn't exist ANY Paladin's Quest // Lennus fanfiction. If I was 15 years younger, I would totally write a novelization of the game.
Hey, I'm on RMN! Here I am responding under Hexatona! Look at me, I'm in a fanfic!
Well, I'm bored. LockeZ! Lend me your aid~!

Anyone need inspiration?

The randomized hentai challenge:

Roll a pair of 20-sided dice. Whatever numbers you get, pick one of the characters for each of those two numbers. So, for example, if you roll a 1 and a 2, you could pick Ganondorf and Rydia, or Zelda and Rydia, or Ganondorf and Naruto, or Zelda and Naruto.

Write a hentai fanfic about the characters you rolled.

The caveats:

If you roll a 20, roll two more times and write a threesome.

If you keep getting 20s, you roll two more times for each 20 you roll, and end up with an orgy.

If you don't know any of the characters for one of your rolls, you can reroll, but if you get a 20 on your reroll it doesn't count.

1) Zelda, Ganondorf
2) Rydia, Naruto
3) Ultros, Gilgamesh, Queen Brahne
4) Amy Rose, Rouge the Bat, Sonic AND Shadow the Hedgehogs
5) Genis, Genos
6) Etna, Flonne, Axel
7) Lulu, Cthulhu
8) Yuffie, Link, Legolas
9) Red XIII, Tingle, Twilight Sparkle
10) Kimahri, Cait Sith, Fox McCloud, Big the Cat
11) Palom AND Porom, Goku, Krang, Spock, Solid Snake
12) Madoka, Medusa, Kramer, Harvey Dent
13) Freya (Valkyrie Profile), Freya (Final Fantasy 9)
14) Kid (Chrono Cross), Funguy (Chrono Cross)
15) All six original Power Rangers, Team Rocket, The Powerpuff Girls
16) Mother Brain (Metroid), Mother Brain (Chrono Trigger), The Brain (Pinky and The Brain)
17) Inspector Gadget, Toph, Jack Bauer, Anakin Skywalker
18) Harley Quinn, Cardcaptor Sakura, Data, Kirby
19) The main character of the last game you played, Yourself

I'll be attempting to do this challenge myself several times as well! I'll get started as soon as I muster up the fortitude to write a sexy fanfic about... hrm... let's see... myself and Cthulhu, apparently.

ROLL 2d20

14 15

Hmmm... Let's go... Kid aand All Six Original Power Rangers.

Check back later, Kiddos.
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
Funguy seems more likely to grow to Megazord size.