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LouisCyphre
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CloseHolding back until there's, say, a dance or something I can afford.
And no, she isn't, which is absolutely fantastic.
And no, she isn't, which is absolutely fantastic.
Sam
2200
author=Feldschlacht IV link=topic=2473.msg46210#msg46210 date=1227262619
Funnily enough, second month of college she calls me back and we start dating again but that lasted like 2 months or something because long distance relationships blow.
Not neccesarily. I'm happily in a long distance relationship, she's coming down here in a week and I've not looked forward to anything so much since I was 6, and Christmas still seemed magical.
author=ChaosProductions link=topic=2473.msg47820#msg47820 date=1227977144
Holding back until there's, say, a dance or something I can afford.
And no, she isn't, which is absolutely fantastic.
Dude just grow a pair and ask her. When I was in high school it took me like 2 months to muster the courage to ask this girl out, I barely finished my sentence and she said yes. It's not as hard as it seems. DO IT DO IT
I don't get why boys can't ask girls out. What's the worst that could happen? She says no, and you're in the same situation you're in now - single. No one is going to put you in prison or send a dragon to eat you.
Asalieri
200
Aprilschild: It's the not being able to let go mentality. They fear that in the event of a rejection, they will have made complete fools of themselves and lose that net-of-hope
they've made for themselves. (Basically, they want to still be able to fantasize about
the day they go out, have a great time and make sweet love to their crush without having to KNOW it's not and will never be that way) The thought of never being able to communicate even indirectly anymore with the object of their desire holds them back from being able to actually ASK them if going out is even an option. It doesn't occur to them to just ask them out and accept whatever the outcome happens to be.
It's a self-destroying cycle of keeping their desires to themselves. They don't realize this is the exact reason they AREN'T getting any.
they've made for themselves. (Basically, they want to still be able to fantasize about
the day they go out, have a great time and make sweet love to their crush without having to KNOW it's not and will never be that way) The thought of never being able to communicate even indirectly anymore with the object of their desire holds them back from being able to actually ASK them if going out is even an option. It doesn't occur to them to just ask them out and accept whatever the outcome happens to be.
It's a self-destroying cycle of keeping their desires to themselves. They don't realize this is the exact reason they AREN'T getting any.
author=Asalieri link=topic=2473.msg47928#msg47928 date=1228009121
Aprilschild: It's the not being able to let go mentality. They fear that in the event of a rejection, they will have made complete fools of themselves and lose that net-of-hope
they've made for themselves. The thought of never being able to communicate even indirectly anymore with the object of their desire holds them back from being able to actually ASK them if going out is even an option. It doesn't occur to them to just ask them out and accept whatever the outcome happens to be.
It's a self-destroying cycle of keeping their desires to themselves. They don't realize this is the exact reason they AREN'T getting any.
I guess I get it, but I'm as shy as it gets, and I've never had any trouble asking someone I liked out. For the record, it's almost always gotten me a date/s.o., and never once ended poorly (i.e. those who said no remained my pals and I got over it).
I don't think it's any "easier" for girls to ask guys out either... or am I wrong?
Asalieri
200
author=aprilschild link=topic=2473.msg47929#msg47929 date=1228009436
I guess I get it, but I'm as shy as it gets, and I've never had any trouble asking someone I liked out. For the record, it's almost always gotten me a date/s.o., and never once ended poorly (i.e. those who said no remained my pals and I got over it).
I don't think it's any "easier" for girls to ask guys out either... or am I wrong?
Oh, I went back and edited a little more into it. Anyhow, you're right as far as I can tell; from what my wife and my exes have told me, I gather it's the same on your side.
The perception however, is that there are more desperate guys than desperate girls. Guys will say yes a helluva lot easier than girls will simply because of the peer pressure alone. There's probably a grain of truth in there somewhere. Also, after high school, it was somehow easier for me to just get out there and ask girls out. Darned if I remember what snapped to make me more gung-ho about it, but from 19 onward, I had no problems with it.
Boy do the rejections hurt, but the idea is to get over them as soon as possible.
author=Asalieri link=topic=2473.msg47934#msg47934 date=1228009959
Boy do the rejections hurt, but the idea is to get over them as soon as possible.
The trick is to ask people out before you're in love/infatuated with them and when you're merely interested :P.
Asalieri
200
Well yeah, the reason they can't ask em' so easily is because they've delayed the "liking" part so much they are too infatuated to THINK, heh heh.
I made those mistakes too, yep. One would say it's all part of being human.
The end result is... two kids who'll grow up to go through the same process, heh heh.
(god help me.)
I made those mistakes too, yep. One would say it's all part of being human.
The end result is... two kids who'll grow up to go through the same process, heh heh.
(god help me.)
author=Natook link=topic=2473.msg47973#msg47973 date=1228023562author=aprilschild link=topic=2473.msg47926#msg47926 date=1228008526
I don't get why boys can't ask girls out. What's the worst that could happen? She says no, and you're in the same situation you're in now - single. No one is going to put you in prison or send a dragon to eat you.
False! If you ask a girl out, then every freaking girl that knows the girl you asked out will stop you somewhere along the line in school and bring it up and pretty much make you feel like crap because they continue to bring up that she said no. Or ask you really annoying questions that you really don't want to answer to the lesser crowd of intelligence. Not a fun experience if you like a girl for a long time.
Oh yeah, I totally did that to guys I rejected.
...IN MIDDLE SCHOOL.
No disrespect meant to any ladies you may be fond of, but that's pretty interesting behavior.
author=aprilschild link=topic=2473.msg47926#msg47926 date=1228008526
I don't get why boys can't ask girls out. What's the worst that could happen? She says no, and you're in the same situation you're in now - single. No one is going to put you in prison or send a dragon to eat you.
You are absolutely right. Everyone else; stop being bitches. Just kidding, I understand how difficult it is, but she's right, though!
I was barely able to slay that fucking dragon and you are all incredibly insensitive to the VERY REAL PROBLEM of girls who have dragons.
Clest
0
It won´t happen if you don´t tell anyone and you ask the girl who might reject you to not spread it around like a damn disease. Whenever I like someone I never tell anyone who knows her about my crush, I may talk to ppl who live in other countries or maybe some close friend IF I feel the need to, but usually I just hold it to myself til I reach the girl.
Clest
0
I see... small towns tend to be like that I guess (I live in a megalopoli since I was 2 so I can´t disagree with your expeiences in a different invironment).
But another trick that works for me so ppl stop asking is to try and hide from most ppl that you are hurt and keep your sad feelings to yourself or close friends, it may not be healthy, but ppl usually don´t bother asking much when they see you okay. After a while you will feel really okay and the best is that ppl will preceive you as a stronger person, even if you cried til your eyes run dry alone in your room.
But another trick that works for me so ppl stop asking is to try and hide from most ppl that you are hurt and keep your sad feelings to yourself or close friends, it may not be healthy, but ppl usually don´t bother asking much when they see you okay. After a while you will feel really okay and the best is that ppl will preceive you as a stronger person, even if you cried til your eyes run dry alone in your room.
