LIVING SPACES.

author=Blitzen link=topic=3964.msg79599#msg79599 date=1244679319
Living with a girl is the best. Its just really good for our disposition if you are best friends and also sweethearts, home becomes a place of respite and good feelings, and you become closer by sharing such a big part of your existence with each other. I really liked it. I miss it. :)

This can also go horribly wrong...

I would suggest living on your own first (especially since it's your first time living away from family). Have her visit as much as you want. If she is practicaly living there after a while, then agree to do it. You might find you'll want your space after a bit...

</abite advice>

First off, with roommates, you'd better be living with people you enjoy being around, like you're friends or something. This is my case; me and three of my friends moved into a house and we haven't really been mad at one another too often.

Also, I'm not sure how valid this is but...a friend of mine has been living with a guy she's been engaged to for four years now; thing is, she doesn't love him romantically. I think she's finally going to break it off though. Some shit just went down with both of them earlier tonight, actually.

I bring this up because she's having trouble deciding what she wants to do with her life and where she wants to go; she's flat broke...no job, and she tells me she's not the kind of person who can stand to live alone. Not just boyfriend-wise, but company-wise, too. Still, I'm not sure how this is valid. I guess just make sure really dramatic shit like this won't happen...at least not too often. It shakes me up.

author=Feldschlacht IV link=topic=3964.msg79634#msg79634 date=1244699590
I'd like to ask how all of you independent trailblazers afford to eat, and what kind of food you buy, and if you don't mind, how much you spend on food.

This is very important.

Haha food.

I'm a trustfundafarian so I can't really help you out in terms of practicality... my biggest suggestion though just in terms of looking at sheer prices, is to go out and spend maybe 200-250 on groceries once a month, eat for a month on that, go out to restaurants ON OCCASION, and make use of leftovers. : ) It seems to be cheaper to cook for oneself rather than go out to eat, and use store-brands, 'cause they're the same as name-brands.

Also, if you have friends/girlfriend in the area, MOOCH LIKE HELL. There's absolutely nothing wrong with going over to mom and dad's for dinner once in a while... they'd probably be happy to see you, and hey, free food. : )

I'll be moving again on July 6th, after having stayed with a rather horrific letting agent. I can give you a ton of tips.

Before I go into the details, I'll give some bullet points.

- Always research who your landlord is, ask around, see if anyone you know has used them before. If there are tenants still in the property during a viewing, quietly ask them what the landlord and/ or letting agent is like to deal with.

- Look at more than one place and find out what's available! This sounds obvious, but a lot of people jump for the first thing they see in excitement. Also, browsing the market allows you to see what you can get for your money and allows you to haggle to a degree.

- Find out the essentials. Is there a phone line? Who's the electricity from? Is the electricity or water on bills or a meter?

- What's included with the property? Just because you saw a washing machine when you viewed the place, doesn't mean it'll be there when you move in.

- If living with other people make sure:
- That they have a job and can pay their share of all bills
- That they have good habits, do their share of the chores etc
- That they won't try and dominate the household
Also, be very wary when moving in with friends. Yes, they're your pals, but if you're sharing a home together treat it as business.

- Read and re-read your contract! Just because the estate agent, or whoever shows you around says it's fien to have pets or make minor alterations, doesn't mean it's true! If your landlord or letting agent says anything that may contradict your letting agreement, or you make any special arrangements or are allowed altered circumstances, get it in writing! They can always go back on their word and you can't prove that they said something verbally.

- On tht note, make sure you know what you're responsible for. If your housemate moves out, will your rent increase to cover their's? Who's responsible for the household bills? Who's responsible for major and minor repairs?

- When given your copy of the contract, make sure it's exactly the same as the one you agreed upon. I know friends who have had their contracts changed.

- Deposits. Get a reciept, if you live in the UK they cannot charge you more than your monthly rent and they have to hand that money to a government fund - otherwise it's just cash in their pocket which you will never see again.

- If you are on the phone to anyone, and I mean anyone, always ask their name, always make a note of the time and date, always ask for any agreements to be sent in writing and always take notes, ake whoever you're talking to aware of this but be polite and reasonable. It saved my butt. It will save your's too.

- Work out a budget. Have a job and work out whether you can afford to get a place or not. Go by your contracted hours and anything outside that is not guaranteed work or money. If you're a waiter/ waitress, do not factor your tips into said budget. Once your budget's written up, stick to it!

On to my little story.

The place I'm in now was originally a student house, and my friends Adam, Irina and Vinny lived here with another guy from our course called Gross. I stayed with them in the living room over the duration of last summer, paying small contributions to Adam, if the landlord came for an inspection I either went out or we just said I'd stopped the night after a night out or something.

It worked out great. The bills were split between five, we all shared food, games, etc. Adam and Irina's room was more like the living room than the actual living room and everyone felt free to use each other's stuff and enter each other's rooms (so long as they knocked first). With things like food, we all shared the food bill, if someone cooked they cooked for all of us, and though we didn't have a written rota or anything, everything worked out kinda even anyway (not that anyone was keeping track). OK, Gross always confined himself to his room and never spoke to anyone, but he paid his way and didn't cause anyone any problems.

Then, Adam and Irina, feeling they needed to take the next step in their relationship, decided to move out, about the same time as I was due to go back to living with my dad for term time. I jumped at the chance to take their empty room for £220 a month.

That's where things started to go downhill. I moved in officially in September and it was me, Vinny and Gross. Vinny immediately seperated the fridge and kitchen cupboard into sections and declared we were all buying our own groceries from now on. Fair enough, I thought. He then started refusing to wash anyone's plates but his own, but would claim his own unwashed plates were something you had left there. Slowly we stopped helping each other out with stuff. We still hung out but a wall of seperation was forming.

Vinny's girlfriend Jade then came over one night and ended up stopping the next night, and the next, and the next. I'm friends with the girl so I didn't mind so much but it built tension between Vin and Gross (though from my understanding there already was some) and it also meant that he started to want to be alone with her a lot more and it continually felt like I was renting a room rather than sharing a house.

Vinny then had a bust up with Gross while I was at work, and Gross moved straight out, leaving us a housemate short. Vinny then decided to move out too, having suffered a death in the family and needing to get away from everything. This left me two housemates short and was where the real problems started. The letting agent, ProLet, decided to try and make me pay for their rents. I battled them for nearly a month and spoke to citizen's advice and student support, eventually showing them the clause in the contract about leaving, stating that Vinny and Gross had not followed the correct procedures and were still bound by their contracts and liable to pay all their outstanding rent.

Turned out, Vinny had followed procedure so I quickly brought my friend Marc into the property. We weren't close friends, he was looking for a place, he had a full time job, he fit the bill and I needed someone fast. My girlfriend also moved in with me a month before Marc arrived. I was back up to three people, things were looking good.

First problem I faced was that the bills came once every three months and Vinny and Gross left shortly before the bills for the phoneline and internet turned up, costing me around £150. Seemed Vinny had been calling people abroad. I had no idea where Gross had gone, Vinny had quit his job in his erratic grieving and nowhere did we have a contract written between us stating we split the bills in three between us. In other words, I ended up paying it. Red letters arrived for Vinny from various credit card companies, student loans, etc and I had to ring at least ten different compaies, then their bailiffs to tell them Vinny's new address to stop them coming and taking my stuff.

Then it arrived, a £1200 electricity bill. We had been paying Vinny our share of the electricity bill in cash, turns out the electric company never saw any of that cash. The bill was in Vinny's name, but because I was on the tenancy agreement for some of the period he owed for, £1200 of Vinny's debts (which I now know were in excess of £2500, just for electric). There was nothing written down to say that I had paid my share in cash to Vinny, Vinny was disputing the amount I'd given him, and the electric company, not caring about any of that, were threatening to send bailiffs round.

After a lot of meetings with student support, citizen's advice, etc, all I found out was that it was all legal and the electric company was within their right to demand the money from me. The company was E-On by the way, they don't do morals. I had to apply for an Access to learning Grant, something that is available to all UK students, in the hope that they'd pull through. I got lucky, very lucky. In a phonecall with E-On, the guy I was talking to came away from his script and I convinced him to split the bill in two if I gave them Vinny's new address, phone number and post code (ZIP code for you Americans). I couldn't get it split into three as I had no idea where Gross had gone. I then got a letter from the Grant to say that they would cover half the bill, as well as wiping off £200 I borrowed from student support to tie me over.

Thinking things were finally finished, I rang E-On and paid by half by card - to then be asked when I was paying the other half. The guy on the end of the phone said that the deal I had with them didn't sound like something the company would normally do, so I demanded to speak to his superior. I explained o his superior and gave him the details of the call, inclusing the name of the person I spoke to, and the time and date of the call. I also had the agreement sent to me in writing. He stated that the agreement I had made was something that the representative should not have done, and were it someone on his team he would fire said employee and stick to the agreement, however, it was a guy on someone else's team so he had to raise a complaint and get back to me. I took his name, position and asked for a number that went directly through to him.

Two days later he rang back saying they had a recording of the phone call, many companies record calls for training purposes but also to cover their own backs, and that they would stick to our agreement, again I asked for this in writing. The whole process took a couple of months, I got really stressed, it put a strain on my relationship because I was getting pent up and frustrated (thankfully my Jo's an absolute angel and I'm lucky to have her - she kept me sane), my Uni work went to shit (thankfully they gave me an extension and I still managed to get a passing grade) and my weekend job suffered. I also had to borrow money from my Dad and student support to cover the other bills Vinny and Gross skipped out on. It was a nightmare and I don't wish that on anyone else, ever.

Money-wise, things are fine now, but Marc is far from a team player, and me and Jo still feel like we're renting a room rather than sharing a house. This place could also use a fair bit of work, and we wanted to move out. I spoke to Adam and Irina who have had a studio apartment together since they left and I took their old room, and they were tired of living in one room as well. The four of us wanted a house, and we decided to go in together. We're both couples so it makes it easier to live with each other (living with single people when you're a couple is really awkward, trust me), I lived with Adam and Irina over summer and I know those two made that house as great as it was over said summer. I know they work more than enough hours to cover all bills and I know they're relaible.

We've viewed a few properties and we've now settled on a two bedroom house that's £550 a month. Works out at £137.50 a month each and that's damned cheap. It's a private landlord, We've been over the tenancy agreement and that's all fine, he's OK with students and pets too, which is becoming a rarity. I spoke to his previous tenants and asked around about the landlord, evryone said he was a good guy, very reasonable, etc.

We start moving our stuff in on July 6th. Ont hat note, I might not have internet access for a week or two around that time.

bahleted

damn you neok you have pegged me down for the last time

I still live with my parents so my bills are minimal. I would move out but they don't mind me staying here and I'd rather just stack dolla dolla bills y'all.