LET'S PLAY! FINAL FANTASY IV EDITION! ALSO A GENERAL FINAL FANTASY DISCUSSION TOPIC

HELL TO THE NO

ahem

Anywho, while you guys wait for my updates, I implore you guys to check out another Let's Player, Docfuture. This guy is incredibly hilarious, and is one of the best and funniest LPers I've ever seen. Check out his videos here (starting with the Sonic one, good stuff)

http://www.viddler.com/explore/docfuture/videos/28/

Sorry guys, I haven't forgot about you! I've just been so busy as it is, I couldn't devote the time to crack out another update! Not to worry, one's coming, maybe even tonight!

Holy fuck I can't understand a goddamn word you're saying.

ok im doing an installment tonight

dead serious

author=YummyDrumsticks link=topic=1303.msg30937#msg30937 date=1221167272
Uh, I have no idea what the hell you are talking about. ???

Basically, the joke was that he posted a generic 'HEY GREAT INSTALLMENT' instead of a post that garnered actual discussion.

Alright guys, sorry for the long delay! I intend on finishing this and getting back on track! I hope you guys haven't forgotten about it. I do need one thing from you guys, though, and I'm going to sound like an asshole for saying this, but if you indeed like this, I need more substantial, discussion sparking comments than 'ANOTHER GREAT INSTALLMENT KEEP 'EM COMING'. Sure, I love to hear that, but it doesn't do much for the topic! Discuss, discuss, discuss! Discuss the LP, discuss FF4, discuss Final Fantasy, discuss RPGs in the old days, discuss your favorite characters, discuss how much better you think the old FF's are, whatever! If you want to know how a LP topic works in this regard, I urge you to check out SA's LP topics!

http://forums.somethingawful.com/forumdisplay.php?forumid=191

Sure, they do have almost 10,000 members, but they certainly know how to discuss! It takes a lot of work to make these, so talk about shit!


The last time on Final Fantasy IV, Cecil finally managed to attain the status of Paladin. However, Golbez and Kain aren't through by a long shot. Needing an airship, Cecil, Palom, Porom, and Tellah take a shortcut to Baron through Mysidia's Devil Road.




Separately, Palom, Porom, and Tellah aren't bad, but I'm not digging the bulk of my team being all mages in a hard hitting game like shit. Not one bit. Luckily, Cecil's Cover ability can insure their softball asses.





So, we take the Devil's Road, which is essentially a teleport to and from Baron and Mysidia. If you're wondering why such a thing exists, here's a little something something from the Japanese texts and timeline.

~150 Years Ago Security treaty with Mysidia. An instantaneous, extra-dimensional travel route between the two countries is completed through Mysidia's efforts. It afterwards comes to be called the Devil Road.

Tada I'm in Baron motherfuckers. The first order of business is to obviously speak to the townsfolk; I wonder what they have to say about Baron's slowly growing Empire and the sudden change in leadership.





No one seems too happy, the king is shitting on the townspeople, I've been officially declared dead, Cid has been arrested by the Baron Army, and shit's pretty much going down. Baron is slowly turning into an imperialistic hellhole.




And of course, Yang is apparently somewhere around too, and I find him in the bar in short order. He's apparently surrounded by (drunk?) Baron soldiers, so this will go one of two ways. It essentially depends on Yang's response.





Of course everyone wants to do it the hard way. The soldiers are so easy it's not even worth mentioning the fight. I just kicked their asses (the bitch ass soldier turned Palom into a Pig, though). Come on, Yang, don't be a pussy. You want some of this or not?





EAT IT YANG

Alright, this battle is interesting. First of all, Yang pretty much stands there for the whole fight, attacking me with his Kick every once in a while, which is more than enough for me, because that shit HURT. Cecil wasn't too bothered, but everyone else felt it pretty bad. Another thing kung fu man got going for him is that he had a LOT of HP. Seriously, I was through Bio after Fira after Thundaga at him, and he was a hard nut to crack.





Likely excuse, punk. Final Fantasy IV is the king of convenient plot devices. I don't really mind it, but it's funny how many Deus Ex Machines go down in this game. There are a lot, and I will point them out as a catch them. You guys feel free to do the same!






Another two bites the dust, I guess. Shit happens. As a consolation prize, Yang joined the party, added some much needed muscle to the mix. Now, I don't have to expend finite MP just to defend myself in battles! We rest at the Inn to discuss and catch up.




I forgot the context of the conversation since everyone should know Edwards deal by now, but who gives a fuck. We have to find Cid, get him to commandeer an airship for us, and...well, do somethin'.





What did I say about those Convenient Plot Devices? What, you thought I was kiddin', muthafucka? You think this is a game!? Naw, dawg. I ain't fuckin' around. FFIV is the KING of Deus Ex Machinas.




I really hate this dungeon. Not because of the dungeon itself, but the encounter rate is insane. I bet Tellah can't even fart without it counting as a movement to trigger a battle. I'll cover it, but I really just wanted to skip this altogether!






The enemies aren't too hard, but I pretty much sped up the game so I could save up my Gil to buy the piece of armor above. I don't really think it has any special qualities and I seriously doubt it's worth 4000 Gil but fuck it it's mines now bitch





Hey did I mention how boring this dungeon is and how much it sucks dicks? Oh, I didn't? Well, this dungeon is boring and it sucks a lot of dick. Like, mad dick. More dicks than all the the porn you've ever seen put together. I HATE THIS PLACE





Luckily, due to Baron soldiers and the save point, that's an indication I'm almost out of this hellhole. Seriously, I don't mind the concept of the dungeon itself, but what was Square thinking with the insane encounter rate here!?




Back in Baron, finally. Finally. However, the castle is completely empty, and except for the fact that I can rest in Cecil's bed to restore everyone, nothing is new or worth noting. Except...





Hey, it's Baigan. Remember? The leader of the Personal Guard Corps, the elite personal bodyguards of the Royal Family. Of course, Cecil has to wonder, is Baigan allied with Golbez?






So Cid's somewhere around, and Baigans loyalty has earned him the ire of the new management, as all of the men in his squad have been killed except him. But what was he doing here? Is he on a mission to take over the throne from Golbez? He can't do it alone, so we invite him to join us.





Something's definitely wrong here. Even for this, things are just a little too convenient. Has Baigan...?





Yeah, Baigan is a traitor and we have to kick his ass. It's almost a standard Boss Battle With Attackable Arms deal, so the idea is to blast him with high powered, magic, no? That'll get him, right? Of course it will.





Wronger than two left feet, homeslice. Baigan likes to cast Reflect on himself, making casting magic on him a suicide run, but I have some tricks of my own. See, what I do is, I cast Reflect on everyone on my party. Then, I can cast magic on my own party members to reflect it back on Baigan. Because not only does Reflected magic go through a reflect status, but if I cast a spell on all of my party members, it bounces back to Baigan five times. He falls like a ton of bricks.




WTF WELL ANYWAY I BEAT HIM DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE LOGISTICS



Yeah, well. Anywho, we head up to the throne room, where apparently the King is all well and good. So it's good to know that he's been sitting on his fat ass the whole time.




Wow, you old son of a bitch. After all the trouble I went to get this he pretty much spits my Paladin-ness back in my face. Old fat ass. This dick doesn't seem like the King at all, so Cecil asks him some hard questions.





This explains a lot. The asshole king who fired Cecil and Kain was apparently this dude. The real king is dead somewhere in a ditch, I guess. So who's this guy?






Oh.





This boss battle is laughably easy. Just cast Thunder spells on him over and over again and he dies. I don't even remember what he does.





You missed the party, Cid. Uh, sorry.





There was some dialogue here but it's just an old man fart fight. 'YOU'RE OLDER THAN I AM' 'WELL AT LEAST I STILL HAVE MY TEETH' 'I JUST POOPED'. Anywho, Cid leads us on the way to where he hid his airship.






MOVING WALLS?! WHO INSTALLED THESE!? OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT





And here comes one of the most poignant scenes in Final Fantasy lore, much less the game as a whole. This...this sucks.





Since the twins turned to stone of their own will, they can't be brought back. They pretty much sacrificed their lives to stop this trap on a whim. Pretty deep stuff for two six year olds.





...Let's roll out. However, things are a boilin' over at Kain and Golbez's way. They're beginning to realize the severity of the situation as well.





By the way, they're talking about the yet disclosed location of the Earth Crystal. For some reason, they're unable to get it by themselves. Why is this?





Some of the dialogue is cut off, but we all know they're planning the old switch; Rosa for the Earth Crystal. Of course, Golbez plans to have his cake and eat it, too.




Yeah. It's exactly what you think it is, guys. That's the reason why Kain is betraying us. Back at Baron, however...





I guess hiding airships underneath grand structures is the hip thing to do. How long was he building this, anyway?







Welcome to the Enterprise.

The Newest Airship Created by Cid, the Dogged Worker
The purest distillation of the super-technology Cid possesses, the newest airship he has created. From the engine to the body, everything on it has been developed through new trials and experimentation. Compared to older-model ships, the mass of the engine alone has been successfully reduced by about a whole 80%. Moreover, the optimum power output has been raised by 30%. The drag coefficient has been lessened by 0.05-0.09, making the air power of the entire ship a thing to fear. As the ship has come to demand such unprecedented, exclusive cutting-edge techonology, it absolutely requires Cid's personal touch and handiwork - it cannot be mass-produced like the Red Wings.

Enterprise, the Swiftest Airship
Total Length: 55.5m
Total Width: 17 m
Total Height: 8 m (to the top of the deck), 27 m (to the top of the propellers)
Optimum Power Output/Capacity: 1 main engine, 1100 HP; 4 sub-engines, 180 HP each
Top Speed: 70 knots
Seating Capacity: 8 people
Armaments: 12 air-to-land cannons

A Red Wing ship approaches! By all means, we have the means to blast it out of the sky, but it raises a white flag. Let's see what's up, here.





Man, Kain is the biggest asshole ever. I mean, there's asshole, and then there's Kain, the new brand of asshole that makes the previous brand look generic.






And everyone holds back the urge to stab him in the face. Seriously, Kain has enough leverage to hold Cecil and keep him anywhere he wants. How long until this continues? When will be able to take the fight to them once and for all?



Right now though, it has to wait. We set our course to Troia, all female nation, and home of the Earth Crystal. Until the next update!