LET'S WORK ON YOUR GAME DESCRIPTIONS!

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author=Liberty
That's not a big issue, though. A lot of games use self-input names. The Judge as a handler for an unnamed player should work well but if you'd prefer, how about this for the first part?

"
You awaken from your slumber to find that the lands around you are crumbling before your very eyes. Not being one to just let things happen, you take the future of the world into your own paws and, joined by a familiar face from the past, set out to save the zones from their destined destruction.
"
Here's what I have now.
"HOME is a non canonical spinoff/fan game made that takes place in the universe of OFF, Green-lighted and created with Mortis Ghosts permission. The story stars off with our puppet, The Judge. The Judge wakens from his slumber to find that the lands around him are crumbling before his very eyes. Not being one to just let things happen, he takes the future of the world into his own paws and, joined by a familiar face from the past, and new faces alike, sets out to save the zones from their destined destruction."

The Judge's name is The Judge. but the puppeteer, the player themselves, insert their own name and are addressed.

http://off.wikia.com/wiki/The_Player/Puppeteer
OFF breaks the 4th wall often and uses the meta style of naming and such. The puppeteer is very important.
You don't need to add about the players in it. They'll find out when they play. But that should work fine. Personally I'd either move the part about the game being a fangame (the first line) below the story summary or put a break between them since it's got nothing to do with the story description.

So either:
"HOME is a non-canonical fangame created with the permission of Mortis Ghosts, the creator of OFF - the game from which HOME was inspired.

The story stars off with our puppet, The Judge. The Judge wakens from his slumber to find that the lands around him are crumbling before his very eyes. Not being one to just let things happen, he takes the future of the world into his own paws and, joined by a familiar face from the past, and new faces alike, sets out to save the zones from their destined destruction."

OR
"
Our puppet, The Judge, wakens from his slumber to find that the lands around him are crumbling before his very eyes. Not being one to just let things happen, he takes the future of the world into his own paws and, joined by a familiar face from the past, and new faces alike, sets out to save the zones from their destined destruction.

HOME is a non-canonical fangame created with the permission of Mortis Ghosts, the creator of OFF - the game from which HOME was inspired."
author=Liberty
You don't need to add about the players in it. They'll find out when they play. But that should work fine. Personally I'd either move the part about the game being a fangame (the first line) below the story summary or put a break between them since it's got nothing to do with the story description.

So either:
"HOME is a non-canonical fangame created with the permission of Mortis Ghosts, the creator of OFF - the game from which HOME was inspired.

The story stars off with our puppet, The Judge. The Judge wakens from his slumber to find that the lands around him are crumbling before his very eyes. Not being one to just let things happen, he takes the future of the world into his own paws and, joined by a familiar face from the past, and new faces alike, sets out to save the zones from their destined destruction."

OR
"
Our puppet, The Judge, wakens from his slumber to find that the lands around him are crumbling before his very eyes. Not being one to just let things happen, he takes the future of the world into his own paws and, joined by a familiar face from the past, and new faces alike, sets out to save the zones from their destined destruction.

HOME is a non-canonical fangame created with the permission of Mortis Ghosts, the creator of OFF - the game from which HOME was inspired."


Alright. I'll try the second one. :D
What you said is right, we are the same.

<removed by mod>
User was warned for this post
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21069
I get the feeling somebody is being ignored(ish). Oh, right! lmarfim!

Five years after the events of Return of the Jedi, the war did not end with the destruction of the second Death Star. Remnants of Empire still threaten peace and freedom in the galaxy, while the New Republic desperately struggles to settle permanently.

In addition to leadership disputes and suspicions of treason, a shortage of ships and pilots aggravating the Republic to consolidate it's rule. These urgent needs lead to a desperate effort to acquire ships and pilots, including negotiation with smugglers.

In this chaotic galaxy, you will control a trio of mercenaries who call themselves Corellian Intergalactic Mercenary Force (CIMF). The group consists of characters with their own distinct characteristics and abilities. After being contacted by Han Solo, the group is caught in the middle of political intrigue and an unprecedented battle that will define the future of the galaxy.


It is highly recommended that you watch the original trilogy of Star Wars (Episodes 4-6), or, minimally, look up a summary of the events thereof. Regardless, the aim of this game is to not just to please the hardcore audience, but, desires to be approachable by even the most casual of fans. Another aim is to avoid the schema of "good versus evil", or to have such cliches as princesses waiting to be rescued, the altruistic teacher, or stereotypes of "innocence" or "purity".

author=Marrend
I get the feeling somebody is being ignored(ish). Oh, right! lmarfim!


so...is my attempts at descriptions that bad that it goes unnoticed?
Marrend,

It was clear that English is not one of my strengths. I realized that most of the review was about the grammar, so thanks a lot!

:)


Ok, mine got denied
http://rpgmaker.net/games/6366/

Could anybody point me to the right path?
You'll have to copy/paste your description text here. The game page being denied means that people won't be able to see it when they follow that link. Only after it's accepted will they be able to do so.
Alright, here u go

--------------------------------------
Game Title : Eremidia Dungeon : Skyward Temple
Alternative : Another Eremidia Dungeon
Codename : AED / ED:ST (I usually mentioned it as AED)
Developer : Theodoric / TheoAllen (I usually use TheoAllen on other site)
Genre : Dungeon Crawler RPG
(Planned) Playtime : Approx, 2 - 3 hours

This is a simple short story about three youngs people who bravely explore the unexplored ruin called "Skyward Temple". An abandonded temple which well-known as temple of the dragons located on Eastern Realm of Eremidia. In order to get high value of artifact called "Skyglyph", the recklessly enter the temple. Could you help them to retrive the Skyglyph?

This game was not made to tell complex plot and story telling. I'm not an expert writer. So I would like to keep it simple. Instead, I provide gameplay and sample usage of my Theolized Sideview Battle System.

Also, if you have ever played Eremidia: Dungeon! game, this game has the similarity. Such as flame encounter, limited visibility, enemy's name, and accessories name. Except the switchable actors. Even it doesn't take the same exact place, the continent are still same.

These key features you should noted :
  • Sideview Battle System. Not tankentai, not victor, not symphony or anything. I built them from scratch and it could be compared with famous animated battle system scripts out there
  • Free Turn Battle. Actor will instantly act when you put the command
  • Dynamic Victory Aftermath. The victory quotes is based on some conditions
  • Limited Visibility. To add atmosphere of dungeon crawler
  • Explore the dungeon from 1-1 until 5-3
  • Fight the boss in each floor
  • Discover hidden accessories in each floor
  • Bestiary menu. See the monster weakness and statistics
  • Statistic menu. Display your overall progression of the game
  • Skill Cooldown. You can't do the same skill in next turn
  • Action Point instead of MP. Don't be worried of out of MP
  • Fast Paced Battle. Enemies will deal huge damages. But you can also heal your characters quickly
  • Encounter unique enemies. Each enemy has its own pattern and weakness.


This game actually was complete. Due to some reason, I reverted back the status to be on progress. I want to make a change of some parts of this game.
------------------------------

I just want to be honest in some parts. But if it was that bad, I gladly change the description. Please review
author=Theodoric
Title:Eremidia Dungeon: Skyward Temple
Alternative Title: Another Eremidia Dungeon
Codename: AED/ED:ST (usually mentioned as AED)
Developer: Theodoric/TheoAllen
Genre: Dungeon Crawler/RPG
(Planned) Playtime: Approx. ~2-3hrs

This is a simple short story about three young people who bravely explore an unexplored ruin called the "Skyward Temple". It is an abandoned temple known well as the Temple of the Dragons, and is located in the Eastern Realm of Eremidia. In order to capture the high-value artifact "Skyglyph", our party recklessly enters the temple. Can you help them retrieve the Skyglyph?

This game is not an exercise in complex storytelling. I'm not an expert writer, so I'm keeping it simple. Instead, this is an exercise to provide gameplay based on my Theolized Sideview Battle System.

If you have ever played Eremidia: Dungeon!, this game has very many similarities, such as: flame encounters; limited visibility; enemy naming; accessory naming. The location is not the exact same place, but the story is still based in the same continent.

Features:
  • Sideview Battle System - This isn't the Tankentai system, nor Victor, nor is it Symphony or any other systems that currently exist made by other people. I built this custom system myself from scratch, and it is comparable to other famous animated battle system scripts out there.
  • Free Turn Battles - The actor will instantly act as you execute commands.
  • Dynamic Victory Aftermath - Victory quotes are based on certain prerequisite conditions.
  • Limited Visibility - Lighting effects that add the atmosphere of a dungeon crawler.
  • Explore the dungeon from Levels ((1-1)) >> ((5-3))
  • Fight the boss on each floor!
  • Discover hidden accessories!
  • Bestiary menu - See monster weaknesses and statistics!
  • Statistics menu - Display your overall progression in the game!
  • Skill Cooldown - Restricts the ability to execute the same skill twice!
  • Action Points (AP) instead of MP. Don't be worried to ever run out of MP!
  • Fast Paced Battles -- Enemies will deal huge damages, but you will also have the ability to heal your characters quickly!
  • Encounter unique enemies -- Each enemy has its very own pattern and weakness!

This game was actually complete, but I reverted the status back to being "In Progress" just to make changes to some parts of this game.
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21069
author=ThatManOverThere
author=Marrend
I get the feeling somebody is being ignored(ish). Oh, right! lmarfim!

So, are my attempts at description that bad that it goes unnoticed?


I thought you were taken care of?
Thanks very much. I will try to resubmitted soon :D
author=Marrend
author=ThatManOverThere
author=Marrend
I get the feeling somebody is being ignored(ish). Oh, right! lmarfim!

So, are my attempts at description that bad that it goes unnoticed?
I thought you were taken care of?

No, I was told that my first base description wasn't all that good, so I went and posted a new one.
hi, my post was denied. I am sure there are some grammar issues. I would need some quick checking and help please. Anyone willing to read ? eidt : I made it shorter.
Please help me so i can add the game.
__________________________________
Pixel Hero is name in progress for 2D platformer Arcade game with RPG elements. Such as Leveling up, point allocation or learning new moves and abilities that allow you to progress in previously visited areas. These are just basic things you might know from metroidvania games. Game is in its starting / alpha / phase.ยจ

You will start as hero in one village, where you can get quests for various locations. You will unlock these locations on world map select screen when you complete one. Goblins will play main role in the story as well - bad guys.

Main pre-concept/ideas:

- Point allocation to basic attributes like strength, hp, sp... etc.
- World map as stage select screen (pre concept in images)
- possibility to visit previously cleared stages to gain more exp or new items
- easy story driven around one village
- only one sword-slash attack, 4 or 5 additional magic attacks
- perma attribute powerups
- boss at the end of each stage
- I will be using music under CC licenses, game is freeware
- losing 20% of coins and 10% xp after revival (*)
- no perma game over screen (*)
- gamepad possibility (*)
(*)= is stil being considered, not sure yet.

this is my very first game in CTF2.5. I stared with Clickteam fusion 2.5 in march this year. I worked with RPG Maker for 8-9 years, so this engine is new to me but I like it more than RPG maker.

the very first movement, got a bit changed in the current version.
*video here
preview
*video here


I am trying my best to create a playable graphic tho I am beginner when it comes to sprites.



Game is really easy-made so it is no miracle so far when it comes to gameplay, but
I will try to improve game over to make things better or smoother.

Heres a description for my survival game what could be wrong with it?

WARNING: Pre-alpha
You have washed up to an island.... Where mysteries happen and magic comes alive.
The scarce food that needs rationing and the smithing that needs to be done.
Fighting the relentless slimes that attack you over and over again but slimes are not the only problem...




This is a survival game where you can craft,fish,hunt and adventure!
Delve into huge dungeons with bosses and cool and interesting loot!
A large open world for you to explore!
A crafting system where you have a chance of failing make sure you click that Enter button when it goes green!

So what is survival island RPG?
Survival island RPG is a survival,Adventure and simulation game with a messed up story! Featuring gandalf 2 and some random weird looking guy!
In this game there is a crafting system where you can craft potions,food and weapons and armour!


What will come soon?
More crafting recipes!
Mining!
Also just many other countless things!
I am seeking some advice about my description.

What follows is the description.

"This game is different, quite different. I'm sure that if your reading this you've played the generic RPG game, where the hero takes off into a dungeon to attack the boss and handle the random encounters. Well what if the rolls were reversed. You play as a boss of your choice. (Newer ones will be constantly being made.) And with that boss use souls you gather from your enemies to purchase more soldiers, weapons, armor, medicines, and skill books. Using all these you defend your dungeon and stay alive through each level/dungeon of this innovative game.

If you were curious how it plays, it will play similarly to the Moogle section at the beginning of Final Fantasy 6."


Thanks in advance.

D.L. "Alex"ander Brown
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21069
Actually, AlexBrown, there's this game called Dungeon Keeper? Yeah, you play the role of an evil overload, you build dungeons (go fig), and there's intermittent heroes that come at you. In that sense, your idea isn't technically that different. Uncommon? Maybe.

*Edit: Sorry, but, your description is coming off to me as trying to convince me that what you're doing is different, and I know that it really isn't. It comes off as boasting (at worst) or just plain weird (at best).
Hey guys =) I got my game denied because of the game description. Im new to this site so Im not quite sure what is required of me in regard of the despription.

Any help on this matter is gladly received. I really want to show my game to the public , even though its only a demo at the moment.

Thanks for all the help I can get :)
Here is the game description : http://rpgmaker.net/games/6388/

Cheers
author=Liberty
You'll have to copy/paste your description text here. The game page being denied means that people won't be able to see it when they follow that link. Only after it's accepted will they be able to do so.