RMN ISLAND: YOU CAN STILL JOIN, MMKAY

(Well THAT escalated quickly!)

OMG QUICK QUICK QUICK PRESS THE BUTTON ON MY SIDE OF THE ROOM!!!

A house of gingerbread? Oh god oh god oh god I'm so stupid but I'm going to knock on the door and go in if I can. Before that, though, I attempt to discern where I'm being watched from.

... Yep, I'm an idiot.

"Zounds! Bounders initiating fisticuffs from every angle! Grabblewarb, my loyal peon, show them the power of house Chinchillington!" Reginald cries, brandishing his sceptre.

Grabblewarb has been instructed to begin aggressive maneuvers, while Reginald searches the house for something to sober up...the...house? and the house is instructed to stay still and try not to throw up.

@Geekman: Name him Mr. Pokeylope. I dare you.

i'm pushing the button. hopefully this is the button that blows me up

Round 4!

Oh how dramatic! Sausage, lost functions, and a badass sponge!

LockeZ
Failure and backfire, then epic success! (1) (5)

You attempt to grab some sausages for a sausage lasso, but when you open the sausage compartment, they all pour out onto you ensnaring you in their deliciousness. You think the dead dolphin slid off too, as your hiding spot is ruined. Slipping out into a still rapidly filling puddle, you stand up, draped in a garb of sausage. Though it's hard to move, you go with it. "I am the sausage god!" you boom at the angry-looking mutants. They begin to "ooh" and "ah". You follow up with "And if you don't prove to me your bratworth, I will destroy you within the day!" The mutants now visibly concerned, "grhsjjA" a few times to each other then swarm you! Thinking it's the end you say your prayers, but instead, they lift you up over there heads and are carrying you. Looks like you just made some peons! Do note that they're only temporary. From atop your peons heads you get a good look at your surroundings. Is it...flooding? Yes, it does look like that. The streets are all under water, and there are entire buildings under water farther down the street where the hill declines and the water is deeper. There's an airport and the banks on your right. McDonalds, the resurrection hospital, and a shady alley are to your left. On the other side of this rather small city you can see a shrine with a sausage nailed to it. Wait, so there's already a sausage god? No wonder they believed you. Maybe if you go there there will be goodies for you. However, as their sausage god, you should probably stop Arrogance City's people from losing their home.
Items:

1x Cowboy Duds
1x Sausage God Suit (-1 movement, makes you the divine ruler of all inhabitants of Arrogance City, but will only last until Round 8!)
Companions: Arrogance Mob (+1 Movement Roll, +1 Combat, +1 Persuasion)

Status:
Hungry, and covered in food
In the center of Arrogance City, the Regicidal State of Ass-Spooning
A cowboy sausage god. Has an unshaven face and seemingly stern looking face. Probably tastes good.


Nightowl
A failure and a success with backfire! (2) (6)

The plane is start to flood, but that stops neither you or Jennifer. She takes off her designer sandals and wades into the plane. Following her, you also enter. You look around for that Henry Rifle, but it's not where you left it! Maybe it fell out of the plane? You turn around and come face to face with the end of a rifle. "Stop right there!" The girl who has you at gunpoint is a pink-haired lady with a giant nose ring. You also notice she's chewing gum. With her rainbow-colored boots, she kicks Jennifer to the ground when she attempts to save you. Hey! That's your Henry Rifle! "Sorry, dude, but I've got some family in Arrogance City - and I'm certainly not crossing the battlefield without a way to protect myself." You growl at her as she leaves by jumping out of the plane onto the mushy ground above. "See ya, dudettes! Hahahaha!" Quickly you and Jennifer search the plane. "No fish!" Jennifer states. She's right, that girl took everything! Exasperated, you pull on a loose pipe. Whoops, it flooded the plane even more - it was the plumbing to your in-plane bidet! Your plane now flooded with bidet and rain water, you leave, intent on exacting revenge!

Status:
Outside the Crashed B-29 on the outskirts of the Regicidal State of Ass-Spooning
Shown up by a gum-chewing girl

Items:
Companion: Jennifer Aniston (+2 Recruiting)
Bidet Pipe (+1 Combat Roll)

Solarlune
Success and partial success! (4) (3)

Making a squish sound with every step you search fro the cause of your discomfort, then it hits you! In the shadowy corners of the swamp are multiple bright yellow eyes staring at you. As you look at them you hear small children singing creepily in your head. You quickly look away at the now very inviting gingerbread house. Quickly squishing your way over there, you waste no time knocking on the door. It appears to be locked, but luckily a plump lady in a candy adorned dress invites you in. Happily, you enter. Before taking even two steps the woman shoves some cookies in your face. At least they're good. "Oh, darling you look tired! Why don't you go upstairs and take a nap" You're not quite done with your cookies, but she looks very eager for you to go upstairs. You take another step across the chocolate floor before hesitating. You've read the story, but honestly. Do you want to risk your life with her...or the creepy eyes outside?

Status: In the lovely plump lady's house in Meadow of Morons.

Items: Plumber's Clothes
Bone Sword (+1 Combat Roll, +1 Persuasion)
Cookies~<3 x3

Wildwes
Partial Success (3)

You make it to the button, but not before your doppelganger! Suddenly, you feel a clawed hand close around your neck. You can feel your throat collapsing when suddenly, you wake up at the entrance of the city. Was that a dream? No...you don't feel hurt, but you've completely lost your ability to talk. Good luck communicating , dude. With lights everywhere, you look in wonder at the big city. There are tall commercial skyscrapers and factories emitting large amounts of smoke. The cars are seemingly in disorder, but there are no crashes. Everyone is in a hurry. Wow! It's just the way you imagined it. However, out the corner of your eye you see your doppelganger walk around the corner. There are a lot of convenience stores here, but you don't have any money. You thought you may look weird in your rock suit, but other people are also in rock suits. You guess it's in around here.

Status:
Amazed by the Moron City in Meadow of Morons
In awe, but aware of being stalked
Unable to talk

Items:
Companion: Rock Suit Norman (+1 Combat/Defending Rolls, -1 Movement Rolls)
Retro DS (+1 Competitive Rolls)

Cave
Partial success! (3)

You manage to push the button, and you're blown up just like you want. The shack is destroyed, and you can't hear, but the kelp gals don't hold it against you. In the wake of the disaster, you realize you're suffocating a turtle so you throw that little bugger right into the ocean. The Kelp Gals stare at you as if they're expecting you to embark on a journey. You got the status depressed which allows you to easily commit suicide, and makes you unable to die of being deprived of essentials, because you just don't care. Congratulations~<3


Items:
+1 to Combat Roll
+4 MREs
+1 Lighter
+1 Scoped Hunting Rifle in shabby condition (+1 Combat Roll)
Companions: The Kelp Gals x 3 (+1 Combat Roll)
Crusty Bloody Bikini

Status:
In Kansas by Kelp Gals Shack Ruins
A moe anime girl that is unaware of her robothood.
Unable to hear.
Depressed.

Reginald
Epic success, success and some more epic success! (5) (4) (5)

Grabblewarb begins aggressive maneuvers, shriveling on the window which causes it to melt. A Sandler bot breaks in through it, just as Grabblewarb wanted. The house starts jumping up and down, because its eye was just melted by a murderous sponge. This causes everything within to be sent flying save for Grabblewarb, who has successfully smashed its body through a Sandler bot's head. You fall on your royal rump, realizing your scepter has rolled away. Chasing it, you fall into a nearby cabinet. Among the contents that have spilled out is your Sober-Up! Perfect! Luckily, your lesser servant has not puked you out yet. By now there is a pile of dismantled bots in the corner of the room, and you're no longer under siege. With no more fighting occurring, your stops moving. The only problem now is where do you administer the Sober-Up? Isn't it already technically in him? Looking around you see a bathroom, a fireplace, a basement, and attic, and a couch.

Items:
3x Mutilated Monkeys
Companion: GRABBLEWARB the Yellow Hunter Sponge (+1 Combat Roll, +1 Cleaning Roll)
Companion: DrunkerRoot Leg Red Turnip House (-1 Movement, +1 Defense Roll)
Clean Regal Clothing (+2 Recruiting)
Radish Scepter (+1 Combat Roll to allies, Renders you unable to fight but keeps you safe as long as your allies are alive.)
Sober-Up!

Status:
DrunkerRoot Radish house in Baconic Bay
A rather regal sire

Dudes
Failure, then partial success! (2) (3)

Your head still going a mile a minute, you try to detach the legs of a sandler bot as boots. Ah! They're too hot to touch, so you leave them there. However, you do take this chance to loot the bot within lays a Pretty Chill Staff. "Oh, great! Now we can pretend we're Harry Potter and the Dorm-Choosing Comb! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! The Garden is burning down! Our entire lives' work is BURNING!" with that said, Jeffrey bites your leg. "Ow. Stop it, dude. Not cool." you reply coolly. Holding your newly acquired staff up, you shoot some ice out. Cool.

Status:
On the other side of Deep Deep Chasm in Cleveland. Within the Garden of Fire
A never soft dude.
Overheating, but the staff's presence is helping

Items:
Attractive Aviator Suit (+1 Persuasion Roll)
Companion: Jeffrey the Talking Comb
Pretty Chill Staff (Allows you to use ice and cold water magic)

Geekman
Success! (4)

You scoop up some grass and sand, which was no problem. You're mouth is now filled with sand and grass, but hey, you got the ingredients. Just as you're feeling good about yourself, a giant explosion happens right next to you! Luckily, your turtle shell protects you, but you feel a mass above. Oh god no, it's the robot girl. She picks you up and chucks you into the ocean. Though, you're not a big fan of getting chucked, you instantly feel good when you touch the water. You think you like the ocean better anyway. Less death and moe anime girls.

Status:
In the ocean by the Yellow Shack Beach.

Items:
Grain of sand
Blade of grass

As the sausage god, I suggest to the mutants that salt makes you thirsty, and so filling the streets with salty food will be an effective way of draining the city of its moisture. I'm sure the sausage shrine and the McDonalds both have an abundance.

Then I direct the remainder of my mutant entourage to the airport. We're going to put the water that's left onto airplanes and fly it out of the city.

Great. I can't talk. What to do... For some reason, I'm kind of nervous about going to this big city, but... I don't really have a choice...

Go to the modern city and... um... try to find someone who speaks telepathically.
(And yes, when I type in italics, that means those italics are thoughts. Though that should be obvious.)

I have some questions for the lady before I go upstairs! Firstly, why is her house made of gingerbread? Secondly, why is it here in the middle of a marsh? Finally, what do those yellow eyes outside belong to? After those questions, I go upstairs, scout for exits i can use in an emergency, then and pretend to go to sleep.

What have I gotten myself into?