THE MESS-UP A WISH FOUNDATION

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Congratulations! With your new found power to turn each and every one of your molecules into a liquid with the ability to recombine them and solidify back into yourself at will, every time you activate this ability you sink into the ground towards the earth's core.

Hope you don't mind burning alive!

I wish to have a better memory.

Granted!
Sadly, they kidnap you, experiment with you,
And, finally, erase your memory, making you forget
everything that happened on that ship!
Then, not remembering what happened, you wish for the same wish again,
creating an infinite loop!

I wish NOTHING.

Granted, although, you probably only had to wait awhile. Except, Square Enix is so chagrined by their recent failures that they outsource to an unknown to make it all right. The game comes out with game breaking glitches, graphics reminiscent of Atari 2600, and finally spells the end of Square Enix. No more Final Fantasy titles ever again. *Sigh* and I even like the not great ones.

I wish I could control time.

edit: god-dammit ninja'd

Granted! But just because you tried to be a smartass, if you wish one more stupid thing like that, YOU WILL DIE!!! And it won't be pretty...

I wish I could lie better.

Granted! But no matter what you build and in vent, a damn blue hedgehog destroys it in the name of freeing the planet! Blast that Sonic!

I wish I could paint like the great painters of the past.

Granted, but you become so engrossed in high resolution World of Warcraft that you get no work finished. Years pass. Friends and family get together to stage an intervention. Unfortunately, now addicted, you yell at them all and return to your room where you're raiding for an epic earring.
When the day comes that Blizzard closes WoW servers, you are in complete denial. You sit on the login screen (now 404) and type in commands, as if playing the game. You begin to chat with people who are not there, and form relationships.
Then you are fired from your job. You hadn't been in for weeks and the boss could only take so much. Once a good employee, he promised if you ever cleaned up your act, he might have room for you again.
Not like this. Then rent comes, and you can no longer afford it. They evict you, and have to physically remove you as you continue to delude yourself that WoW is still going. Now on the streets, you begin to starve to death until your uncle notices you sitting in your own feces and vomit while tapping at a very dirty keyboard and staring off into space.
Your uncle takes you in, and tries to clean you up, but every time you see a keyboard or computer, you can hear the imaginary voices of your old fictitious friends making jokes about n00bs. You sadly type "/afk" and leave the room.
Life is never the same again, but now, you are a fuller human being.

I wish I wasn't dead because of a painting.

Granted, you have a gun that shoots only copies of the Valve game, Portal. It's spring loaded and can shoot up to 75 feet! Comes with practice target and spare cartridge. Accessories sold separately!

I wish to create my own planet and civilization, for real, not like a video game or some cheap corporate gimmick.