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You do shit and then you die.

  • Craze
  • 11/23/2011 03:10 PM
  • 24308 views
I played this game just now, and read the RPS review (well, I read part of it, then played the game when it told me to, and then finished reading it).

I mean, this is the kind of game that I find pointless and meaningless. That's why I never bothered playing it before the RPS article told me to, because I always walk away from these types of games going "that was a waste of my time."

Anything with pizzicato music, lo-fi graphics and abstract messages about death is, like, a 0/5 in my book. It's been done to undeath on Newgrounds, and it's not art because it's boring and it's trash. The fact that Upgrade Complete 2 had an "indie" mode that turned it into a black and white game with stereotypical "eerie" music and phrases flashing onto the screen going WHERE AM I, WHY AM I HERE, IS THIS HEAVEN OR HELL, etc. made me laugh the fuck out loud.

Wither didn't change my mind about this "indie" genre, because it's not part of that genre. Don't get me wrong, I didn't like it! I thought it was pointless, and not very entertaining. I finished it because I wanted to know what all the hype was about. It's not a part of that "indie" genre (how derogatory toward the wide-spread realm of actual indie games) because I could get that it was meant to be a game and not ~art~. You do shit. Nice.

Why 3/5, then? If this was only barely above a 0/5, how did three stars appear? Do twelve flowers equate to three stars? A 4:1 ratio? No, fool; it's that because Wither is a game and not an attempt at ~art~, I can respect it without liking it. It's called being grown-up!

Reasons for the stars:

1) Consistency. The game is in all caps. The game's graphics all work together perfectly, and you can always tell what they are. The music fit, even if I thought it was stupid (but nothing else would have worked, but since I didn't actually like anything else, there's no way to win here; so, take your star and go crawl into a grave with it).

2) Resolution. It was dumb in and of itself (and it was really in there), but honestly? You got your twelve flowers that visually appeared as twelve flowers on your menu screen (why didn't the coins show up?), which gives the game a sense of progression. When you finally leave the game, you've definitely completed it. Kudos for that.

3) The car. You have a car. Did it run into a tree? I think it ran into a tree. When you approach it, it crumbles. This was simple, probably done before, but still brilliant. I'd rate it 3 Joss Whedons out of 2.

Still, I didn't like it, and I don't think it's a fun or worthwhile experience. But hey, it's not the same shit as the actually bad shit, it's just not my cup of spiced black tea.

Wither is a game where you do shit and then you die.

Posts

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The powers of opinion! For some reason I enjoyed reading every comment posted on this review! Ugh . . . I need a friend . . .
What prevents it from being a game? Are Atari games and adventure games exempt due to their simplicity?
I would like to point out that these review "discussions" tend to be more important and related to the site than 90% of the forum posts. Yeah it's usually reviews of reviews but I kind of like it that way, still shows that people actually care even if it's sometimes done in a negative way. Better than nothing I suppose.
That last point applies to all of us.

Make more games/reviews/events/articles people, and I will do my best to showcase them and the site.
DE
*click to edit*
1313
author=NewBlack
I don't care if there's drama or not, I'd just like to see more non-drama-related activity also.

Welcome to the real world. Is this your first time here?

It's natural to post more about things that bug you than about things that you agree with or condone. How many people call the store they had bought a product at just to tell them how good the product is? They usually call because there's something wrong with the product and want to place a complaint. When all is well there is no need for discussion. When something's wrong then steps should be taken to change it for the better and to do that you first have to discuss the issue. Furthermore, by telling others about the low quality of a product you keep them from wasting their time and money on it. What's so strange about that?

Aaand... if you want more non-drama activity, then make games, write reviews, participate in events. What can I tell you beyond "be the change you want to see?"
Well, if people agree entirely with a review, there's really not much to post. They'd post either to disagree or to add something.
author=calunio
author=NewBlack
& yes I'm aware of the inherent hypocrisy of this comment.
Are you also aware of the irony in the "let's cut the drama" message?


I never said anything about cutting the drama at all. It would just be nice if other types of reviews could get a slice of the action too. There's obviously enough to go around considering things like DE's reply being longer than the review it's for and there being almost 60 comments etc.

I don't care if there's drama or not, I'd just like to see more non-drama-related activity also. It creates an environment where only controversy gets attention, which is probably not good for the "morale" of some would-be reviewers or contributors who'll expect to pretty much have their submissions overlooked by the majority of the regulars here because they're busy doing.. well. This.
author=NewBlack
& yes I'm aware of the inherent hypocrisy of this comment.


Are you also aware of the irony in the "let's cut the drama" message?
Craze
why would i heal when i could equip a morningstar
15170
NewBlack
I like how this gets 55 (now 56) posts simply due to ensuing fallout and drama regarding the intentions of the reviewer and what counts as an acceptable review. We don't see half as much attention on reviews that people agree with or that obviously had a lot more work put into them (no offense to Craze, I'm pretty much indifferent to the actual content of this review, by which I mean his position regarding wither, but it's certainly not a labor of love by any stretch of the imagination).

& yes I'm aware of the inherent hypocrisy of this comment.


RMN is the best
I like how this gets 55 (now 56) posts simply due to ensuing fallout and drama regarding the intentions of the reviewer and what counts as an acceptable review. We don't see half as much attention on reviews that people agree with or that obviously had a lot more work put into them (no offense to Craze, I'm pretty much indifferent to the actual content of this review, by which I mean his position regarding wither, but it's certainly not a labor of love by any stretch of the imagination).

& yes I'm aware of the inherent hypocrisy of this comment.
author=Versalia
leave britney ALONE!!!!!


Good point.
author=Mellytan
In short, if Craze had said something more coherent and respectful such as "I really don't like this kind of game because the 'gameplay' is not compelling in and of itself, its attempts to be thought-provoking are laughably pretentious, and its aesthetic is derivative and overdone, I give it a 1/5," ....I would have no problem with this review.

But that's essentially what the review says! You just softened it some... But I bet even that choice of words would have caused a reaction. Stuff like "laughably pretentious" or "derivative and overdone" would be more than enough to hurt sensibilities around here. Geez! Even the sole act of openly admitting you don't like something makes people go: "Hur Dur, if you don't like it, why are you commenting on it?"

author= DE
My posts might seem harsh, but that's just the way I am - straight to the point. Anyhow - there's one thing I disagree entirely with some of you and this is the thing I believe is the most damaging to the community - the belief that all feedback is good feedback and learn how to handle criticism or GTFO.

I hope that's not directed at me because I would never say "GTFO" to anyone. ;^; ...I think you're looking at this whole issue form the wrong perspective and that you should do something about it, but I would never suggest you're someone dispensable. I understand that you're concerned about the community, but then again, who isn't? - I'm sure there's a happy inbetween there somewhere for both bands... You've heard it already. This review is valid, there's some good in it among the bad stuff. That should be enough for anybody.

Look, (good) criticism is like gold. Is valuable and is scarce. You have to crush entire mountains of feedback to get a sizable amount of criticism that you can put to good use. But for the same reason you must think before tossing away even the tiniest of stones, no matter how rough it looks. - When people complain about how we are assholes and the like, I just can't help but thinking all they really want is for someone to hand them a 24k gold ring, tell them how special they are, and live happily ever after. ...Too bad life isn't a fairy-tale.

Seriously though, things are never that easy. Don't expect other people's compliments to feel good about yourself. If that's the only "good feedback" you're expecting then your're in the wrong track here. You need to be more confident about what you do, and realize you are your only and best critic. Other's people opinions should be just a tool for you, a compass, nothing more. If you can't see it that way and instead you let your feelings overwhelm you and turn you into a bitter person, then that's something you can't blame others for.

That being said. I wouldn't mind some more conscious moderation of all things submitted to this site, (including games) but we all know that's just not going to happen. After all, the higher the stats, the better Rmn is doing, right? right? =P
author=narcodis
This review is really fucking confusing. RMN's ideal of "all opinions are golden and to be respected" is kind of naive, IMO.


It's a poorly written review. Not very useful. Doesn't mean it should be denied. The same goes for crappy projects. Don't like it? Don't play it, don't read it, or make a comment.

I dunno if "all opinions are golden and to be respected," because certainly all projects are not golden and are often trashed. Hell, loads of people just came on and trashed this review. What I do know is that there's pretty much no censorship. That's not naive.

One big primary rule of reviews is that you should at least appreciate or be familiar with a genre before you go in trying to review something that falls under said genre. Otherwise it becomes a bitter commentary of the genre itself, which is entirely self-defeating and offers zero objective qualitative reasoning.

This review is really fucking confusing. RMN's ideal of "all opinions are golden and to be respected" is kind of naive, IMO.
Solitayre
Circumstance penalty for being the bard.
18257
author=DE
You are motivated to work on your next game. When someone says your game sucks, it's not good feedback. All it tells you is there are douches in the world who don't enjoy your game. LIKE YOU DIDN'T EXPECT IT. You have no idea what to fix, if there even is anything to fix, and you feel demotivated. These are of course the most simplistic and extreme examples, but they do prove the "theory of equal feedback" wrong.


I would consider telling someone that their game sucks without offering any suggestions for improvement as worthless feedback. I am pretty sure most people would.
Craze
why would i heal when i could equip a morningstar
15170
Sauce
So in the end, I give your review 3 stars. Why 3 stars?
1) Consistency. Your review was consistently bad. That's difficult to accomplish, considering how poorly it was written.

2) That Thanksgiving turkey. Normally I hate reviews like this, but that turkey was excellent, so I'm in a good mood.

3) Buffy. This has nothing to do with anything, and might not make sense to people who don't know me. But this is why I give you 3 Joss Whedons out of 2.

So 3 star review. Don't get me wrong, your review still blows. But I'm worried about you bitching back at me, so I'll fall back on my decent 3 star rating.

I just died. This post is hilariously perfect.

Yeah, we get it Craze is allergic to atmosphere, stories, well-developed characters, and the only think he cares about is the battle system.

This is obnoxiously false.
Versalia
must be all that rtp in your diet
1405
leave britney ALONE!!!!!
I just want to say that, while I don't like this review at all (as I don't like most of Craze's reviews), I think it's definitely solid enough to pass as a valid review.
author=Hali
There's actually this wonderful point in between those two where you can say the things you need to say without being too mean or too nice about it. It's called professionalism

I call it "meeting the minimum requirements to be a funcional member of any kind of group of people". I mean, it's not an epic feat. It's normal.

It should be.

author=DE
Bottomline is - if you don't like a game, don't feel it can be improved in any way, it's just not your type of game - don't review it!
author=DE
As long as the staff not only approve of reviews such as this one, but also don't take steps to combat this mentality, this site, as I've already said, will be crap for feedback and other communities will treat it with well-deserved contempt. "But we're professionals here and other sites are for noobs!" my ass.
"Do as I say, not as I do" at its finest. Unless your first quote applies exclusively to games, I guess.
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