LET'S WORK ON YOUR GAME DESCRIPTIONS!

author=redwall10
"The year is 1605 and war has returned to Lake Wood by a evil mage name Graze and the Black Knights. They have come to take control of the land and pillage the area of all its valuable treasure and farther their homeland of Dark Crest. But, that is not where their sinful acts end. They search for the four heroes, their eight eyes gleaming with light power. Their dark influence seeping into even a very small town in the countryside. Gen had always worked hard, that fateful day he was getting help from his mother. The two of them were chopping wood when the Black Knights ravished Gen's home town. The town in ruins, and Gen's peaceful life uprooted, he despised them. He wanted revenge and the military helped him get it. Drafted in the military, and with the help of his high-ranking friend, Gen fights back against the evil black army."
it is a basic battle system with a fishing game.

This is way better, except for the end. "it is a basic battle system with a fishing game" is a really terrible description.

However, I really don't wanna help this game any more. I feel like if that's really an accurate description of your gameplay, the game shouldn't be on RMN. And furthermore, after seeing how it works in action, I kinda feel like this entire help topic is a horrible idea - a topic devoted to getting games accepted on RMN that deserve to be denied is really wrong and against the spirit of the site's quiality guidelines. You shouldn't create a system, and then have a tutorial on how to cheat the system.

The year is 1605, and war has returned to Lake Wood. The Black Knights of Dark Crest, headed by the mage Graze, came to pillage the area of it's resources and to further their own political cause. However, there was another, more secret, purpose to their invasion...
It was a day like any other for Gen. He was chopping wood with his mother, the the Black Knights invaded his home town. He saw his hometown pillaged and burned before his eyes. Vowing vengeance, he joins the military with the help of a high-ranking friend.
It has Day And Night/Weather Effects Custom Message System Custom Menu
Customized Default Battle System and a fishing spot shooting game
and more.

author=...
LockeZ who? do you think you are to tell me if my
game should be on RMN your game should not be on RMN.
this website is not for master game makers like you.

OK. First things first: You don't need to use a question mark before the words "who", "what", "when", or "where". Second, what is special and attractive about your game? A game with a basic fighting system and a fishing game? O.O

And man, that attitude from both of you can cause misunderstanding. :P

author=Lady Killa
It's not how to "cheat" the system, Locke. It's how to get your game page to meet the standards of the system.

I don't know how it cheats the system, but it sure is useful to have people check for grammars and sentence structures. :D

author=edchuy

author=Mr_Detective
... it sure is useful to have people check for grammars and sentence structures. :D

That along with good spelling should be what people should strive for at the MINIMUM in ANY writing related to the game.

I agree..lol, there's this commercial game on Desura called Doom and Destiny, which has very unique features, as well as awesome gameplay, but..only the first part of it; the intro, has good grammar. It takes a big dive in the grammar immediately after, and really..downed the experience for me, as a whole. Grammar's a big part in anything, and games are no exception; you're trying to convey a story through player interaction, and if people have a difficult time understanding the dialogue, it won't be as enjoyable. :c

i just want to say sorry to everyone for haveing a bad story
and thank you all for helping me with my story.
i do not know why no one understands it.
the story is just about Invaders attacking your
homeland of lake wood town and you the player Gen
joins the military to stop thime that was all i was trying to say
now do you get it.
This is a story of a town called Lakewood in the year of 1605 And a man named Gen was doing some wood work with his mom in the town That day. after they were almost done a group of knights walked in and they ask for gold and items however the people of the town did not Want to give what they had so the knights started to take what They wanted.the man name Gen was in rage and vowed to stop time by joining The Lakewood military. now it is up to you to save your land from the evil black
Knights of there land of dark crest.

just a small thing, but I don't think (making flippant comments in parentheses) helps the tone that you seem to be trying to set with your description. it makes you sound... nervous?

either way, it isn't a good idea to belittle your story like this in the game's own description. if you yourself can't summarize it without making fun of it, it gives the impression that it's something that probably isn't worth the reader's time. if the phrase "one fateful day" makes you feel like you're being silly and derivative, take it out! simple as that.

NC, there were indeed some issues with what you provided. Here's a revised version of it for your consideration:

In this game you are a normal everyday kid named Lucas, who is thrown into a storyline of tragedy, destruction, and, hopefully, triumph. On one fateful day (I mean, where would the story be without it), while in the woods with his friends, they are attacked by a troll. They work together to take it out and leave. His mother learns about what happened and sends him into town to find a monster hunter. After running into a strange man, he returns home to find that his friend had been kidnapped by goblins! He braves the goblin cave to find that his friend is being held captive by an ogre. After defeating it, he finds a strange sword that he takes to the strange man he had met earlier. He tells Lucas that a great evil has returned!

"takeout the troll" should be "take out the troll" and "and Ogre" should be "an ogre." Also, "ogre" shouldn't be capitalized. Also, I agree with mawk.

Also, you change back and forth between referring to the main character as "you" or "he". Pick one point of view and stick with it.

Edit: I GOT SNIPED

author=LockeZ
Also, "ogre" shouldn't be capitalized.

I agree with this. I have fixed it in my revised version.

Capitalize the "you" after "troll". Perhaps you could add "safely" after leave (and before the period) to make it flow a little better. Starting with the same word over and over again (or similar words) gets a little boring. Try: "Upon learning about this, your mother sends you into town to find a monster hunter." You mean "has" been kidnapped not "had" been kidnapped" (I may be wrong on that, though it sounds better.) Change the next sentence to: "You brave the Goblin Cave to find that your friend is being guarded by an ogre!" The exclamation mark adds flavor, I fixed "braves" and made it "brave". Saying "guarded" helps steer readers away from a "your princess is in another castle" situation, which I don't believe it is. The rest looks good, but to be sure, make the revisions and re-post what you have!