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So there are Sandlerbots heading towards my place. No time for celebration then.
But there is time for one thing. Throw down your hat in disgust, as the stupid manager got away. What is it with girls escaping from me?
Search the place for duct tape with the help of Corporal Wabblegarps. They sure as hell aren't going to fix every damn problem by calling a handyman, so there's ought to be a roll of it at least.
Also, Ask Corporal Wabblegarps to taste the mystery meat and spit it away. Then use ketchup or some other sauce to draw the creature where it's from. If it's rotten then sneer visibly.
Wait a minute, was the manager the only person in this whole place, other than the Patty Cake Twins and the now-destroyed Sandlerbots? Or were the other workers eviscerated by the Sandlerbots?
Then, ask the Patty Cake Twins to bend the remains of Sandlerbots into usable armor and weapons. Even if there's no duct tape, you're sure they still can bend the metal with their bare hands.
The food supply is the most important, so tell Captain Garbabarps to guard the door to the food storage. Tell him to yell if someone tries to barge in other than Mob the Heir of Fizz himself.
After all that ordering 'round, have a Coca-Cola. In case you might die soon, you should probably have one last soda.
But there is time for one thing. Throw down your hat in disgust, as the stupid manager got away. What is it with girls escaping from me?
Search the place for duct tape with the help of Corporal Wabblegarps. They sure as hell aren't going to fix every damn problem by calling a handyman, so there's ought to be a roll of it at least.
Also, Ask Corporal Wabblegarps to taste the mystery meat and spit it away. Then use ketchup or some other sauce to draw the creature where it's from. If it's rotten then sneer visibly.
Wait a minute, was the manager the only person in this whole place, other than the Patty Cake Twins and the now-destroyed Sandlerbots? Or were the other workers eviscerated by the Sandlerbots?
Then, ask the Patty Cake Twins to bend the remains of Sandlerbots into usable armor and weapons. Even if there's no duct tape, you're sure they still can bend the metal with their bare hands.
The food supply is the most important, so tell Captain Garbabarps to guard the door to the food storage. Tell him to yell if someone tries to barge in other than Mob the Heir of Fizz himself.
After all that ordering 'round, have a Coca-Cola. In case you might die soon, you should probably have one last soda.
Tomorrow I'll start writing this, I was kind of busy today and I'd like to sleep before tackling this round.
Can you freeze my character? I can't currently access RMN by phone, and since I barely go on the computer, that means I can't play any reindeer games. Sorry, guys.
I'll let you know if/when that changes.
I'll let you know if/when that changes.
Round 13
The Sandler bots are spreading like wildfire!
Dic
(5) (3)
You quickly scurry to and fro through the small tree village. Then you realize you're silly because the Gobblers who took you in happened to be alchemists. With that out of the way, you inherently understand that your birth place is an excellent source of strength! And, with Mama Gobbler's everything-savvy logic, you conclude that some veggies couldn't hurt Zane either. You smile at him maniacally.
"Oh noez..." Zane visibly gets smaller.
"Hey, Zane can I use your house for a strength potion?" you ask while smiling maniacally.
"Eye sprose..." Zane reluctantly consents.
Gleefully, you demolish his house and take enough radish for your potion and tunic. Zane gathers the sap and you both continue on to your adopted gobbler family's home. You make sure to obtain a handful of leaves on your way in. Within you use the various bottled chemicals...add your ingredients...a little waiting...and voila! You've made a perfect strength potion! Since there was little time, you had Zane create your tunic. It came out...less than perfect. I guess it doesn't help that tree gobblers had no concept of clothing until you came around.
You're kinda armored and you have a strength potion. Is it nearly time to leave? Perhaps you could prepare more.
You're feeling pretty good about your plan and you leave the turnip house. Once out, you suddenly sense panic - some strange robots are invading the tree! The gobblers are disorganized. Now would be the time to leave, but the gobblers are under attack. Of course...you're not exactly equipped to fight, and Zane's a coward so he's not going to help much.
::Items::
Zane the Tree Gobbler (+1 Climbing, +1 Luck, -1 Combat)
Manly Adam Style Leaf (+1 Persuasion, -1 Recruiting)
Lightweight Crooked Tunic (+1 Defense, +1 Movement)
::Status::
-Top of Tree Village in Rad Flats-
Sap-born!
Comprehending Zane is taking some effort...
Naturally technically inclined. (+1 Competence)
Fight or Flight!
June
(4)
Despite your speculation on the loyalty of Juan your new slave, you may as well keep him. After realizing your plan may not be full-proof due to your lack of know how on working with nuclear objects, you decide to seek a scientist in Cleveland.
"Alright, let's go Bornio!" you spur Jonathan or whatever onward.
"Coming..."
The two of you mount your hot pink punk motor bike outside.
"Uh, is it okay for a blind girl to be driving a bike like this? I mean, with ME on it." Dakota/whatshisname objects.
You slam him into the ground. "Shut it. I'll taste the ground."
He groans, but gets on. Apparently, he'd rather you leaning down to the ground and licking it as you ride then hearing it. whatever he wants...
Soon, the two of you "see" a new city. Its buildings aren't quite skyscrapers, but you believe it's a small city. But, of course no sooner than you find what you want, some Sandler bots on some sick motorcycles come speeding next to you. They ride next to you and start bumping into you from each side. You're fine, but Joseph is getting pretty dinged up. You doubt they will care if they get themselves destroyed chasing you into the city. You'll have to deal with them here! Whether you stop or try to fight them on the cycle is up to you.
::Status::
-The road to civilization, Cleveland-
Chewin' bubble gum and kickin' butt.
Ye olde punk attitude (+1 Luck)
Natural aura (+2 Stealth)
Your tongue hurts.
::Items::
Companion: Slave (+1 Recruiting, +1 Luck, -1 Competition)
5x Minty Green Gum (Guarantees a good outcome if you chew this while doing something)
Nose Ring (+2 Persuasion)
Dual Holster Guns (+2 Combat)
Hot Pink Punk Bike (Allows for movement from section to section)
Mob
(4) (5) (3) (4) (2)
After a quick display of futile anger at the fact that most women are more than capable of escaping you, you and Wabblegarps explore the facility again for tape. Before long you discover a hidden closet dedicated to just tape. Convenient! You're not sure how you missed it though. Regardless, you order the Patty Bros. to do something constructive and bend the Sandler bots into weapons. Meanwhile, Wabblegarps is ordered to taste the meat and draw with some sauce what the animal is. After some deviation, Wabblegarps has made a Picasso of a buffalo herd! His condiment of choice was mustard~! Garbabarps is ordered to guard the food supply and he looks very alert.
After all that command giving you take a swig of some Coca-Cola...
It has a bee in it! Quickly you spit it out but it stung your tongue. good luck communicating... The weapons the Patty Cake Bros. made are in your inventory.
::Status::
-Within the War Spittoon by The Divide, Regicidal State of Ass-Spooning-
Shown up by a gum-chewing girl forever more~<3
A spunky go-getter who can't operate pants!
All muddy...
The manager is on the run!
Incoming Sandler bot horde~ (Round 13)
::Items::
-$85-
Pact: LockeZ (+1 Stealth when in same section or when location is unknown)
Companion: Jennifer Aniston (+2 Recruiting)
Companion: Mudhound; the Bane of Clean Floors (+1 Movement, +1 Combat)
Companion: MARMITE WABBLEGARPS, THE BANE OF CANS and Can-opener Sponge Warrior (+1 Gathering)
Companion: SERGEANT BRAMBLE GARBABARPS the Missile Launcher Sponge Gladiator (+1 Combat)
Companions: Musclebound Patty Cake Twins (+1 Combat, -1 Movement)
Bidet Pipe (+1 Combat Roll)
Gravity Boots (Allow for very high jumping +1 Movement)
Mystery Meat (...)
Flame Gloves (Allows you to cast fire magic and summon tacos in battle! +1 Luck)
x5 Tools and Weapons (+Combat to all allies, +1 Recruiting to you)
Wildwes
(5)
On a hunch, you follow the group. As you all run toward the castle, you observe the red scarf girl and note that the scarf covers a large portion of her face. You wonder if she's hiding something under it. Regardless, you all arrive at the castle. In the courtyard is a small memorial to a woman named Maria. You doubt she's the most pure person based upon the subtitle under her name.
The villagers all seem hesitant to open the door and shuffle around in the courtyard. You and Yodeel nod to each other and walk up to the massive door. You both put a hand on the door and push with all your might. A light shines from within and blinds you, but you're no victim. You had seen the girl mounting a back attack on the two of you. In a fluid motion, you dodge push Yodeel in the castle and karate kick scarf girl into the castle. Then, you stroll in like a badass.
Once the light ceases, you and Yodeel find yourselves alone in a room with a magnificent blue staircase. You see blurred movement from the top of the stairs. Wasting no time, you pursue her! Yodeel follows you closely. You can feel Norman tighten with anticipation. At the top of the staircase and to the left is another set of stairs. You confirm that it is the girl now and hurry after her.
On the top floor you follow the girl into a ballroom of sorts. Within, she takes out a sword that seems to be imbued with flesh. It has a strange face on it. She looks ready to attack!
::Status::
-A strange ice castle in Cleveland-
Being hunted by your shadow...
Unable to talk.
Careful, you're in danger!
::Items::
-$10-
Barbed Sword (+1 Combat, +1 Competence)
Generic Bow x5 Arrows (+1 Combat when used)
Adventurer's Clothes (+1 Competition)
Companion: Rock Suit Norman (+1 Combat/Defending Rolls, -1 Movement Rolls)
Companion: Yodeel the PIMP ( +1 Persuasion, +1 Competition, -1 Recruiting)
Companion: Hump-Mat the Flying Shag Carpet (Allows for free movement between sections of the island, +1 Movement)
Solarlune
(6) (4)
You search every inch of the house save for the mirror which you save for last. All of your loot has been added to your inventory. Suddenly, you hear stirring. "
"Oh here she comes, I can tell - it's the way she hums!" your witch makes a good observation. In curiosity, you run to the mirror and jump at it. You find yourself on the other side! Before long, the witch joins you and informs you she took care of the creepy witch. You find yourself at the mouth of a volcano.
"W-woah! Where are we?"
"We're at one of the only two volcanoes here, we're in Kansas be it not very near." the witch explains.
There's not much here except rocks and lava in the basin. Some rocks are especially dark. You notice a tranquil looking waterfall a field away. You're not sure if that's geographically possible, but it must be since it's there.
::Status::
-Inero Volcano in Kansas-
Your knuckles are feelin' good!
Not a drop of mud is left on you!
Raiding time is over.
::Items::
Companion: The Witch, no need to know her name! (Can cast magic, +1 Luck)
Witch's Broom (Allows you to travel sections of the island freely!)
Plumber's Clothes (+1 Competence)
Bone Sword (+1 Combat Roll, +1 Persuasion)
Spiritual Chocolate Floor Chunk (+1 Defending)
Witch's Slingshot x20 Ammo (+1 combat when used)
Cookies~<3 x4 (Good if you need energy)
Bottle of Scream
Petrified Broom
Dudesoft
(2)
Your guts tangle and you feel another pain. You're not feeling so cool... You're set on your current path, though.
"You can't...control me..." you say woozily.
"Dude...?" Jeffrey is stirring - he had been sleeping previously. You smile.
"N-not now..." you're not feeling so good. You look the monster in the eye. It looks surprised almost. You don't perceive it quite as evil anymore.
"I said kill it!" Maria's voice is raspy and strained. The monster's arms go up to its head and it falls to its knees. You can hear hair being torn... You turn around finally.
"You'll suffer if you don't kill it!" Maria is practically hissing at you now.
"Then, suffer I shall..." you say in monotone. You just want this nightmare over.
The beast rears up and gashes your back as it flips over you. It kicks you back into the room as it lands. The room shakes and you look up. The beast suddenly wields a sword wrapped in barb wire. Another beast stands behind it. You point your sword at them as if to tell them to stay back. Something isn't quite right here.
"Dudes, I'm ready! I want to save you now." Jeffrey is pumped.
::Status:
-On the other side of Deep Deep Chasm in Cleveland. Whose Ice Castle is it Anyway?!-
A never soft dude.
Jeffrey is pumped!
Maria will not control you.
Careful, you're in danger!
::Items::
Companion: Jeffrey, the Speaking Hybrid Blade (+1 Combat, +1 Competence, +1 Climbing, Allows you to use Maria's power)
Curse: Maria (You won't allow her to control you! But, what did this do to you?)
Attractive Aviator Suit (+1 Persuasion Roll)
Gentleman's Top hat (+1 Recruiting)
Pretty Chill Staff (Allows you to use ice and cold water magic, Also good for ice statues coincidentally.)
Steroid Staff (Allows you to use the magic of flames and smoke through channeling your masculinity)
Ever Blue Claw (+1 Combat, +1 Climbing)
x1 Very Large Sandy Mat
x1 Sword Sharpener (One use, adds +1 Combat to swords)
The Sandler bots are spreading like wildfire!
Dic
(5) (3)
You quickly scurry to and fro through the small tree village. Then you realize you're silly because the Gobblers who took you in happened to be alchemists. With that out of the way, you inherently understand that your birth place is an excellent source of strength! And, with Mama Gobbler's everything-savvy logic, you conclude that some veggies couldn't hurt Zane either. You smile at him maniacally.
"Oh noez..." Zane visibly gets smaller.
"Hey, Zane can I use your house for a strength potion?" you ask while smiling maniacally.
"Eye sprose..." Zane reluctantly consents.
Gleefully, you demolish his house and take enough radish for your potion and tunic. Zane gathers the sap and you both continue on to your adopted gobbler family's home. You make sure to obtain a handful of leaves on your way in. Within you use the various bottled chemicals...add your ingredients...a little waiting...and voila! You've made a perfect strength potion! Since there was little time, you had Zane create your tunic. It came out...less than perfect. I guess it doesn't help that tree gobblers had no concept of clothing until you came around.
You're kinda armored and you have a strength potion. Is it nearly time to leave? Perhaps you could prepare more.
You're feeling pretty good about your plan and you leave the turnip house. Once out, you suddenly sense panic - some strange robots are invading the tree! The gobblers are disorganized. Now would be the time to leave, but the gobblers are under attack. Of course...you're not exactly equipped to fight, and Zane's a coward so he's not going to help much.
::Items::
Zane the Tree Gobbler (+1 Climbing, +1 Luck, -1 Combat)
Manly Adam Style Leaf (+1 Persuasion, -1 Recruiting)
Lightweight Crooked Tunic (+1 Defense, +1 Movement)
::Status::
-Top of Tree Village in Rad Flats-
Sap-born!
Comprehending Zane is taking some effort...
Naturally technically inclined. (+1 Competence)
Fight or Flight!
June
(4)
Despite your speculation on the loyalty of Juan your new slave, you may as well keep him. After realizing your plan may not be full-proof due to your lack of know how on working with nuclear objects, you decide to seek a scientist in Cleveland.
"Alright, let's go Bornio!" you spur Jonathan or whatever onward.
"Coming..."
The two of you mount your hot pink punk motor bike outside.
"Uh, is it okay for a blind girl to be driving a bike like this? I mean, with ME on it." Dakota/whatshisname objects.
You slam him into the ground. "Shut it. I'll taste the ground."
He groans, but gets on. Apparently, he'd rather you leaning down to the ground and licking it as you ride then hearing it. whatever he wants...
Soon, the two of you "see" a new city. Its buildings aren't quite skyscrapers, but you believe it's a small city. But, of course no sooner than you find what you want, some Sandler bots on some sick motorcycles come speeding next to you. They ride next to you and start bumping into you from each side. You're fine, but Joseph is getting pretty dinged up. You doubt they will care if they get themselves destroyed chasing you into the city. You'll have to deal with them here! Whether you stop or try to fight them on the cycle is up to you.
::Status::
-The road to civilization, Cleveland-
Chewin' bubble gum and kickin' butt.
Ye olde punk attitude (+1 Luck)
Natural aura (+2 Stealth)
Your tongue hurts.
::Items::
Companion: Slave (+1 Recruiting, +1 Luck, -1 Competition)
5x Minty Green Gum (Guarantees a good outcome if you chew this while doing something)
Nose Ring (+2 Persuasion)
Dual Holster Guns (+2 Combat)
Hot Pink Punk Bike (Allows for movement from section to section)
Mob
(4) (5) (3) (4) (2)
After a quick display of futile anger at the fact that most women are more than capable of escaping you, you and Wabblegarps explore the facility again for tape. Before long you discover a hidden closet dedicated to just tape. Convenient! You're not sure how you missed it though. Regardless, you order the Patty Bros. to do something constructive and bend the Sandler bots into weapons. Meanwhile, Wabblegarps is ordered to taste the meat and draw with some sauce what the animal is. After some deviation, Wabblegarps has made a Picasso of a buffalo herd! His condiment of choice was mustard~! Garbabarps is ordered to guard the food supply and he looks very alert.
After all that command giving you take a swig of some Coca-Cola...
It has a bee in it! Quickly you spit it out but it stung your tongue. good luck communicating... The weapons the Patty Cake Bros. made are in your inventory.
::Status::
-Within the War Spittoon by The Divide, Regicidal State of Ass-Spooning-
Shown up by a gum-chewing girl forever more~<3
A spunky go-getter who can't operate pants!
All muddy...
The manager is on the run!
Incoming Sandler bot horde~ (Round 13)
::Items::
-$85-
Pact: LockeZ (+1 Stealth when in same section or when location is unknown)
Companion: Jennifer Aniston (+2 Recruiting)
Companion: Mudhound; the Bane of Clean Floors (+1 Movement, +1 Combat)
Companion: MARMITE WABBLEGARPS, THE BANE OF CANS and Can-opener Sponge Warrior (+1 Gathering)
Companion: SERGEANT BRAMBLE GARBABARPS the Missile Launcher Sponge Gladiator (+1 Combat)
Companions: Musclebound Patty Cake Twins (+1 Combat, -1 Movement)
Bidet Pipe (+1 Combat Roll)
Gravity Boots (Allow for very high jumping +1 Movement)
Mystery Meat (...)
Flame Gloves (Allows you to cast fire magic and summon tacos in battle! +1 Luck)
x5 Tools and Weapons (+Combat to all allies, +1 Recruiting to you)
Wildwes
(5)
On a hunch, you follow the group. As you all run toward the castle, you observe the red scarf girl and note that the scarf covers a large portion of her face. You wonder if she's hiding something under it. Regardless, you all arrive at the castle. In the courtyard is a small memorial to a woman named Maria. You doubt she's the most pure person based upon the subtitle under her name.
The villagers all seem hesitant to open the door and shuffle around in the courtyard. You and Yodeel nod to each other and walk up to the massive door. You both put a hand on the door and push with all your might. A light shines from within and blinds you, but you're no victim. You had seen the girl mounting a back attack on the two of you. In a fluid motion, you dodge push Yodeel in the castle and karate kick scarf girl into the castle. Then, you stroll in like a badass.
Once the light ceases, you and Yodeel find yourselves alone in a room with a magnificent blue staircase. You see blurred movement from the top of the stairs. Wasting no time, you pursue her! Yodeel follows you closely. You can feel Norman tighten with anticipation. At the top of the staircase and to the left is another set of stairs. You confirm that it is the girl now and hurry after her.
On the top floor you follow the girl into a ballroom of sorts. Within, she takes out a sword that seems to be imbued with flesh. It has a strange face on it. She looks ready to attack!
::Status::
-A strange ice castle in Cleveland-
Being hunted by your shadow...
Unable to talk.
Careful, you're in danger!
::Items::
-$10-
Barbed Sword (+1 Combat, +1 Competence)
Generic Bow x5 Arrows (+1 Combat when used)
Adventurer's Clothes (+1 Competition)
Companion: Rock Suit Norman (+1 Combat/Defending Rolls, -1 Movement Rolls)
Companion: Yodeel the PIMP ( +1 Persuasion, +1 Competition, -1 Recruiting)
Companion: Hump-Mat the Flying Shag Carpet (Allows for free movement between sections of the island, +1 Movement)
Solarlune
(6) (4)
You search every inch of the house save for the mirror which you save for last. All of your loot has been added to your inventory. Suddenly, you hear stirring. "
"Oh here she comes, I can tell - it's the way she hums!" your witch makes a good observation. In curiosity, you run to the mirror and jump at it. You find yourself on the other side! Before long, the witch joins you and informs you she took care of the creepy witch. You find yourself at the mouth of a volcano.
"W-woah! Where are we?"
"We're at one of the only two volcanoes here, we're in Kansas be it not very near." the witch explains.
There's not much here except rocks and lava in the basin. Some rocks are especially dark. You notice a tranquil looking waterfall a field away. You're not sure if that's geographically possible, but it must be since it's there.
::Status::
-Inero Volcano in Kansas-
Your knuckles are feelin' good!
Not a drop of mud is left on you!
Raiding time is over.
::Items::
Companion: The Witch, no need to know her name! (Can cast magic, +1 Luck)
Witch's Broom (Allows you to travel sections of the island freely!)
Plumber's Clothes (+1 Competence)
Bone Sword (+1 Combat Roll, +1 Persuasion)
Spiritual Chocolate Floor Chunk (+1 Defending)
Witch's Slingshot x20 Ammo (+1 combat when used)
Cookies~<3 x4 (Good if you need energy)
Bottle of Scream
Petrified Broom
Dudesoft
(2)
Your guts tangle and you feel another pain. You're not feeling so cool... You're set on your current path, though.
"You can't...control me..." you say woozily.
"Dude...?" Jeffrey is stirring - he had been sleeping previously. You smile.
"N-not now..." you're not feeling so good. You look the monster in the eye. It looks surprised almost. You don't perceive it quite as evil anymore.
"I said kill it!" Maria's voice is raspy and strained. The monster's arms go up to its head and it falls to its knees. You can hear hair being torn... You turn around finally.
"You'll suffer if you don't kill it!" Maria is practically hissing at you now.
"Then, suffer I shall..." you say in monotone. You just want this nightmare over.
The beast rears up and gashes your back as it flips over you. It kicks you back into the room as it lands. The room shakes and you look up. The beast suddenly wields a sword wrapped in barb wire. Another beast stands behind it. You point your sword at them as if to tell them to stay back. Something isn't quite right here.
"Dudes, I'm ready! I want to save you now." Jeffrey is pumped.
::Status:
-On the other side of Deep Deep Chasm in Cleveland. Whose Ice Castle is it Anyway?!-
A never soft dude.
Jeffrey is pumped!
Maria will not control you.
Careful, you're in danger!
::Items::
Companion: Jeffrey, the Speaking Hybrid Blade (+1 Combat, +1 Competence, +1 Climbing, Allows you to use Maria's power)
Curse: Maria (You won't allow her to control you! But, what did this do to you?)
Attractive Aviator Suit (+1 Persuasion Roll)
Gentleman's Top hat (+1 Recruiting)
Pretty Chill Staff (Allows you to use ice and cold water magic, Also good for ice statues coincidentally.)
Steroid Staff (Allows you to use the magic of flames and smoke through channeling your masculinity)
Ever Blue Claw (+1 Combat, +1 Climbing)
x1 Very Large Sandy Mat
x1 Sword Sharpener (One use, adds +1 Combat to swords)
Solarlune
50
I poke at the dark rocks and find small ones that I can bring along without a hassle. Then we'll go to the waterfall! I kinda get the feeling that, you know, this isn't right, though, so I'm just going to scratch a magitechnological circle in the ground and summon an assistant.
Edit: Just in case.
Edit: Just in case.
I'm a guy covered with radish and leaves.
I not harming a robot anytime soon!
I'll try to memorize the location of the tree and give Zane the strength potion to carry me down.
Then flee as fast as we can with our eyes out for food.
Edit: Oh! Also: Grab some extra sap, never know when you'll need it.
I not harming a robot anytime soon!
I'll try to memorize the location of the tree and give Zane the strength potion to carry me down.
Then flee as fast as we can with our eyes out for food.
Edit: Oh! Also: Grab some extra sap, never know when you'll need it.
(Why, I do believe I'm in the same place as Dudes!)
Finally, some action!
Alright, I'll give Yodeel the bow and arrows and tell her (telepathically, of course) to not shoot me by accident. Then, I'll... attack the girl, I guess, though I will TRY to not kill her, just knock her unconscious or something like that. Yeah. Good plan!
Finally, some action!
Alright, I'll give Yodeel the bow and arrows and tell her (telepathically, of course) to not shoot me by accident. Then, I'll... attack the girl, I guess, though I will TRY to not kill her, just knock her unconscious or something like that. Yeah. Good plan!
Order Wabblegarps, Jennifer and Mudhound to guard the food supply. Also, order them to barricade any backdoors in order to prevent flanks. No eating supplies.
Patty Bros and Garbabarps, with me. We've got some robots to smite.
Captain Garbabarps, barrage those robots with your missile launcher. Patty Bros, smash those damn robots and avoid getting hit by the missiles or my flame attacks
Bring up the Flame Gloves. Summon an armada of Red Hot Spicy Taco Men, that spicy hotness will surely corrode those stupid tin can robots. IT'S CINCO DE MAYO AND THOSE STUPID ROBOTS ARE JUST TRYING TO RUIN IT. After summoning the taco men, head back inside an observe situation. Rush to attack with bidet pipe and get some backup from the back room if necessary
Patty Bros and Garbabarps, with me. We've got some robots to smite.
Captain Garbabarps, barrage those robots with your missile launcher. Patty Bros, smash those damn robots and avoid getting hit by the missiles or my flame attacks
Bring up the Flame Gloves. Summon an armada of Red Hot Spicy Taco Men, that spicy hotness will surely corrode those stupid tin can robots. IT'S CINCO DE MAYO AND THOSE STUPID ROBOTS ARE JUST TRYING TO RUIN IT. After summoning the taco men, head back inside an observe situation. Rush to attack with bidet pipe and get some backup from the back room if necessary
It's against my code of honour to harm a lady, however, I know now that this is a witch. No lady. In defiance of all, I throw Jeffrey at Maria, so as to skewer her, and wield the staves to fend off the monster(s)!
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
5958
Sandlerbots! Like the real Adam Sandler, these things just don't know when to quit! And I want to kill them almost as badly!
Why would fighting them while not riding a motorcycle even be an option? What kind of monster would choose that?
I whip out my pistols and engage the Sandlerbots in a totally sweet motorcycle fight, while preventing Sanchez from taking too much damage. I attempt to amass over 10000 points to earn a Speed Source.
Why would fighting them while not riding a motorcycle even be an option? What kind of monster would choose that?
I whip out my pistols and engage the Sandlerbots in a totally sweet motorcycle fight, while preventing Sanchez from taking too much damage. I attempt to amass over 10000 points to earn a Speed Source.
author=wildwescuz you're both near an ice castle in Cleveland.
(Why, I do believe I'm in the same place as Dudes!)
Anyways, after today I won't be able to use internet for at least a week.
So count me in limbo in around 7 hours.
Do you want me to not include you in this round or do you want to just go into limbo after this round?
Round 13~<3
Action and excitement this round!
June
(5) (2)
Calmly, you unholster both your guns and turn to Kaz.
"Uh, why are you-" you pistol whip Mario unconscious.
With him properly protected, you wheelie ram the left attacker with your bike and end up removing a part of the Sandler bot's face while utilizing the momentum to flip off and shoot both motorcyclist foes in midair. With the drooling Juarez as extra weight on your tail-end, you safely land on the opposite side of the road as your remaining opponent. The Sandler took note of your strategy and is swerving to avoid receiving a wheelie and a bullet to the face. He shoots at you, but you catch the bullet with your teeth! With the power of a million Adam Sandler haters, you spit the bullet back at the fool! He receives it straight in the gut and falls off his bike. With its rider missing, the cowardly bike flees you and ends up hitting the other Sandler's bike. You slip on Julio's sunglasses and continue onto the big city - you zoom quickly from the scene of a massive explosion and grin. You take the glasses off and say:
"Well I guess you could say they were..."
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
"...sandled."
Unfortunately, you only scored 9999 points and your only prize was the glasses.
Not long after you decide to take a break in a city cafe, Jack wakes up!
"Woah, what happened?"
"Nothing~<3 Anyway, we need to find a scientist. Any ideas, Joe?"
Leo looks around and gasps loudly suddenly.
"Ah! What?!" you demand startled.
Luigi walks to a nearby wall and rips off a flyer. He reads it out loud.
"Nuke-con: Gathering of the most diabolical scientists!" he seems excited.
"Hm, maybe that'll work. There's also that big nuclear plant that towers over the city. I can only imagine shady people being there but honestly I'd prefer a mad scientist - he IS supposed to level the entire island after all."
Peter sits back down in the booth you had settled into. It's pretty quiet in this corner of the cafe, so you're pretty sure no one heard you.
::Status::
-Radiation City; Radiation Cafe, Cleveland-
Chewin' bubble gum and kickin' butt.
Ye olde punk attitude (+1 Luck)
Natural aura (+2 Stealth)
Your tongue hurts.
::Items::
Companion: Slave (+1 Recruiting, +1 Luck, -1 Competition)
5x Minty Green Gum (Guarantees a good outcome if you chew this while doing something)
Juanito's Sunglasses (+1 Stealth)
Nose Ring (+2 Persuasion)
Dual Holster Guns (+2 Combat)
Hot Pink Punk Bike (Allows for movement from section to section)
Mob
JWM (3) (4) Garbabarps (2) Patty Bros. (6) (3) Mob (2) (5)
Jennifer, Wabblegarps and Mudhound all diligently protect the food supply. Well, except for Wabblegarps. He took a nap.. AFTER creating the best dang blockade for the back entrance this side of the Regicidal State of Ass-Spooning! Jennifer and Mudhound allow for this under the circumstances.
Garbabarps doesn't even need your orders to begin fighting. Oh wait, he's misfiring! Before long he's out of ammo and out of commission! The sponges are not having a good round, huh...? Jennifer snatches him up however and he's resting by her group - he'll still be available next turn due to Jennifer's actions!
By now, the Sandler bots are bottle necking though the front door - and the Patty Bros. are taking turns one hit KO-ing them!
SMACK
CLANK
SMACK
Unfortunately, one bro has overexerted himself! The other one fights valiantly for his brother's honor! He WILL have to wait a round unlike Garbabarps unfortunately.
You summon taco men! Except you don't because the awesomeness is too much for the gloves. It needs AT LEAST one warm up taco to summon soldiers. Perhaps you will succeed next turn! You make a simple taco despite this. Eating it makes you feel toasty, though that has no application in this game. You abandon the idea for now and evaluate your status:
Garbabarps and one Patty Bro are overexerted, though only the Patty Bro will be unable to fight next turn.
Wabblegarps is napping, though still available if needed. Allowing him to sleep may help you though.
Jennifer and Mudhound are guarding the supplies while simultaneously treating the wounded.
::Status::
-Within the War Spittoon by The Divide, Regicidal State of Ass-Spooning-
Shown up by a gum-chewing girl forever more~<3
A spunky go-getter who can't operate pants!
All muddy...
The manager is on the run!
A war rages!
A Patty Twin is hurt! He'll be disabled next turn.
::Items::
-$85-
Pact: LockeZ (+1 Stealth when in same section or when location is unknown)
Companion: Jennifer Aniston (+2 Recruiting)
Companion: Mudhound; the Bane of Clean Floors (+1 Movement, +1 Combat)
Companion: MARMITE WABBLEGARPS, THE BANE OF CANS and Can-opener Sponge Warrior (+1 Gathering)
Companion: SERGEANT BRAMBLE GARBABARPS the Missile Launcher Sponge Gladiator (+1 Combat)
Companions: Musclebound Patty Cake Twins (+1 Combat, -1 Movement)
Bidet Pipe (+1 Combat Roll)
Gravity Boots (Allow for very high jumping +1 Movement)
Mixed Buffalo Meat (Edible!)
Flame Gloves (Allows you to cast fire magic and summon tacos in battle! +1 Luck)
x5 Tools and Weapons (+1 Combat to all allies, +1 Recruiting to you)
Wildwes
(6) Yodeel (2)
You happily engage in battle with the woman! Yodeel does a good job of not hitting you, but she doesn't exactly hit the girl either...
Before long, the woman ditches the sword and pulls out two staves! She had thrown the sword quite angrily at the corner of the room and looked at you with rage and motivation. Her resolve is amazing... Suddenly, fire and ice spew from the staves and hit Yodeel! You telepathically yell to her. She telepathically says she's fine. After your millisecond conversation, you jump up and bring your sword down on her head - she has MAGIC! You may have to kill her. It connects and she falls on her knee. She seems disarmed. You let your guard down for a second before she yells
"Nooo, Jeffrey it can't end here!"
Caught off guard she knocks you to the ground and renders you breathless. To your horror she incinerates the side of Yodeel's face and hulks over your companion... she's ready to finish Yodeel.
Suddenly, you feel as if a veil is lifted from you eyes. You realize you had been fighting a man in an airplane pilot's suit all along. A girl corpse lay in the corner impaled by the sword apparently named Jeffrey. Despite this fact, you're not sure the man is going to let Yodeel or you live! He advances on Yodeel a step at a time... The man's sword is in your reach...
::Status::
-A strange ice castle in Cleveland-
Being hunted by your shadow...
Unable to talk.
You're currently safe!
Your companion, Yodeel, is in danger!
That strange sword, Jeffrey, is in your reach...
::Items::
-$10-
Barbed Sword (+1 Combat, +1 Competence)
Generic Bow x5 Arrows (+1 Combat when used)
Adventurer's Clothes (+1 Competition)
Companion: Rock Suit Norman (+1 Combat/Defending Rolls, -1 Movement Rolls)
Companion: Yodeel the PIMP ( +1 Persuasion, +1 Competition, -1 Recruiting) {Danger!}
Companion: Hump-Mat the Flying Shag Carpet (Allows for free movement between sections of the island, +1 Movement)
Solarlune
(3) (4) (5)
You poke around for some rocks, but none fit in your pockets. You decide instead to carry one that has a strange rainbow color to it - it was under the dark rocks! Sure you've found something important, you begin making circles in the side of the mountain as the witch looks at you with a strange expression. You realize you're getting a look.
"What?"
"You can't do this, your magic is worth piss!"
You gather that she's saying your circles won't work. She didn't have to be mean...
Without warning, the witch shoots a magical beam at the side of the volcano. Since you were standing there, you are enclosed in the result - a lava body suit! It seems to be able to talk, but it doesn't seem very social.
"Cool!" you exclaim.
And, yes. It is cool.
In your hot new look you stroll to the peaceful waterfall. It's a nice refreshing area compared to the spiky shoals, murderous gingerbread houses and crazy swamps you're used to so far on this island. Suddenly, a beautiful mermaid emerges from the water and settles on the side of the pond the waterfall deposits its water. She's not wearing anything, but her long purple hair hides anything you may or may not want to see. She looks at you and beckons to you with her finger.
A rainbow can be seen by the waterfall and the sunlight feels nice on your skin - you haven't had a chance to feel it until now. Jungles border the volcano, waterfall and tiny meadow area you inf yourself in. The only border that is different from jungle is the volcano you were at earlier. There are many holes in the meadow and the mermaid continues to beckon.
::Status::
-Inero Volcano in Kansas-
Your knuckles are feelin' good!
Not a drop of mud is left on you!
Raiding time is over.
::Items::
Companion: The Witch, no need to know her name! (Can cast magic, +1 Luck)
Companion: Bob the Lava Suit (+1 Defending, -1 Movement)
Witch's Broom (Allows you to travel sections of the island freely!)
Plumber's Clothes (+1 Competence)
Bone Sword (+1 Combat Roll, +1 Persuasion)
Spiritual Chocolate Floor Chunk (+1 Defending)
Witch's Slingshot x20 Ammo (+1 combat when used)
Cookies~<3 x4 (Good if you need energy)
Bottle of Scream (I wonder what the best octave is...)
Petrified Broom (Perhaps there's a way to un-petrify this?)
Rainbow Rock (+1 Luck)
Dudes
(5)
With only the desire to leave this place with your friend, you throw Jeffrey at Maria and impale her! In the corner of her defeat she curses you and seems to be done. You look back to the monsters and both your staves out and get ready. You make the first move! With a flurry of fire, you hit the smaller one that has a bow. You plan on using the Chill Staff next when -
BONK
You get conked on the head by the larger creature! In rage, you cry out for Jeffrey, though your adrenaline doesn't quite communicate what you said to yourself. You back-staff the large creature and fly at the smaller one!
Suddenly, a veil seems to be lifted from your eyes. A girl cowers in the corner before you and you look over your shoulder. The creature looks like a man now instead of a creature. You look back to the girl.
What do you do?
::Status:
-On the other side of Deep Deep Chasm in Cleveland. Whose Ice Castle is it Anyway?!-
A never soft dude.
Jeffrey is behind you, how is he?
Maria is defeated!
You're in danger still! Careful!
::Items::
Companion: Jeffrey, the Speaking Hybrid Blade (+1 Combat, +1 Competence, +1 Climbing, Allows you to use Maria's power still~)
Attractive Aviator Suit (+1 Persuasion Roll)
Gentleman's Top hat (+1 Recruiting)
Pretty Chill Staff (Allows you to use ice and cold water magic, Also good for ice statues coincidentally.)
Steroid Staff (Allows you to use the magic of flames and smoke through channeling your masculinity)
Ever Blue Claw (+1 Combat, +1 Climbing)
x1 Very Large Sandy Mat
x1 Sword Sharpener (One use, adds +1 Combat to swords)
Action and excitement this round!
June
(5) (2)
Calmly, you unholster both your guns and turn to Kaz.
"Uh, why are you-" you pistol whip Mario unconscious.
With him properly protected, you wheelie ram the left attacker with your bike and end up removing a part of the Sandler bot's face while utilizing the momentum to flip off and shoot both motorcyclist foes in midair. With the drooling Juarez as extra weight on your tail-end, you safely land on the opposite side of the road as your remaining opponent. The Sandler took note of your strategy and is swerving to avoid receiving a wheelie and a bullet to the face. He shoots at you, but you catch the bullet with your teeth! With the power of a million Adam Sandler haters, you spit the bullet back at the fool! He receives it straight in the gut and falls off his bike. With its rider missing, the cowardly bike flees you and ends up hitting the other Sandler's bike. You slip on Julio's sunglasses and continue onto the big city - you zoom quickly from the scene of a massive explosion and grin. You take the glasses off and say:
"Well I guess you could say they were..."
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
"...sandled."
Unfortunately, you only scored 9999 points and your only prize was the glasses.
Not long after you decide to take a break in a city cafe, Jack wakes up!
"Woah, what happened?"
"Nothing~<3 Anyway, we need to find a scientist. Any ideas, Joe?"
Leo looks around and gasps loudly suddenly.
"Ah! What?!" you demand startled.
Luigi walks to a nearby wall and rips off a flyer. He reads it out loud.
"Nuke-con: Gathering of the most diabolical scientists!" he seems excited.
"Hm, maybe that'll work. There's also that big nuclear plant that towers over the city. I can only imagine shady people being there but honestly I'd prefer a mad scientist - he IS supposed to level the entire island after all."
Peter sits back down in the booth you had settled into. It's pretty quiet in this corner of the cafe, so you're pretty sure no one heard you.
::Status::
-Radiation City; Radiation Cafe, Cleveland-
Chewin' bubble gum and kickin' butt.
Ye olde punk attitude (+1 Luck)
Natural aura (+2 Stealth)
Your tongue hurts.
::Items::
Companion: Slave (+1 Recruiting, +1 Luck, -1 Competition)
5x Minty Green Gum (Guarantees a good outcome if you chew this while doing something)
Juanito's Sunglasses (+1 Stealth)
Nose Ring (+2 Persuasion)
Dual Holster Guns (+2 Combat)
Hot Pink Punk Bike (Allows for movement from section to section)
Mob
JWM (3) (4) Garbabarps (2) Patty Bros. (6) (3) Mob (2) (5)
Jennifer, Wabblegarps and Mudhound all diligently protect the food supply. Well, except for Wabblegarps. He took a nap.. AFTER creating the best dang blockade for the back entrance this side of the Regicidal State of Ass-Spooning! Jennifer and Mudhound allow for this under the circumstances.
Garbabarps doesn't even need your orders to begin fighting. Oh wait, he's misfiring! Before long he's out of ammo and out of commission! The sponges are not having a good round, huh...? Jennifer snatches him up however and he's resting by her group - he'll still be available next turn due to Jennifer's actions!
By now, the Sandler bots are bottle necking though the front door - and the Patty Bros. are taking turns one hit KO-ing them!
SMACK
CLANK
SMACK
Unfortunately, one bro has overexerted himself! The other one fights valiantly for his brother's honor! He WILL have to wait a round unlike Garbabarps unfortunately.
You summon taco men! Except you don't because the awesomeness is too much for the gloves. It needs AT LEAST one warm up taco to summon soldiers. Perhaps you will succeed next turn! You make a simple taco despite this. Eating it makes you feel toasty, though that has no application in this game. You abandon the idea for now and evaluate your status:
Garbabarps and one Patty Bro are overexerted, though only the Patty Bro will be unable to fight next turn.
Wabblegarps is napping, though still available if needed. Allowing him to sleep may help you though.
Jennifer and Mudhound are guarding the supplies while simultaneously treating the wounded.
::Status::
-Within the War Spittoon by The Divide, Regicidal State of Ass-Spooning-
Shown up by a gum-chewing girl forever more~<3
A spunky go-getter who can't operate pants!
All muddy...
The manager is on the run!
A war rages!
A Patty Twin is hurt! He'll be disabled next turn.
::Items::
-$85-
Pact: LockeZ (+1 Stealth when in same section or when location is unknown)
Companion: Jennifer Aniston (+2 Recruiting)
Companion: Mudhound; the Bane of Clean Floors (+1 Movement, +1 Combat)
Companion: MARMITE WABBLEGARPS, THE BANE OF CANS and Can-opener Sponge Warrior (+1 Gathering)
Companion: SERGEANT BRAMBLE GARBABARPS the Missile Launcher Sponge Gladiator (+1 Combat)
Companions: Musclebound Patty Cake Twins (+1 Combat, -1 Movement)
Bidet Pipe (+1 Combat Roll)
Gravity Boots (Allow for very high jumping +1 Movement)
Mixed Buffalo Meat (Edible!)
Flame Gloves (Allows you to cast fire magic and summon tacos in battle! +1 Luck)
x5 Tools and Weapons (+1 Combat to all allies, +1 Recruiting to you)
Wildwes
(6) Yodeel (2)
You happily engage in battle with the woman! Yodeel does a good job of not hitting you, but she doesn't exactly hit the girl either...
Before long, the woman ditches the sword and pulls out two staves! She had thrown the sword quite angrily at the corner of the room and looked at you with rage and motivation. Her resolve is amazing... Suddenly, fire and ice spew from the staves and hit Yodeel! You telepathically yell to her. She telepathically says she's fine. After your millisecond conversation, you jump up and bring your sword down on her head - she has MAGIC! You may have to kill her. It connects and she falls on her knee. She seems disarmed. You let your guard down for a second before she yells
"Nooo, Jeffrey it can't end here!"
Caught off guard she knocks you to the ground and renders you breathless. To your horror she incinerates the side of Yodeel's face and hulks over your companion... she's ready to finish Yodeel.
Suddenly, you feel as if a veil is lifted from you eyes. You realize you had been fighting a man in an airplane pilot's suit all along. A girl corpse lay in the corner impaled by the sword apparently named Jeffrey. Despite this fact, you're not sure the man is going to let Yodeel or you live! He advances on Yodeel a step at a time... The man's sword is in your reach...
::Status::
-A strange ice castle in Cleveland-
Being hunted by your shadow...
Unable to talk.
You're currently safe!
Your companion, Yodeel, is in danger!
That strange sword, Jeffrey, is in your reach...
::Items::
-$10-
Barbed Sword (+1 Combat, +1 Competence)
Generic Bow x5 Arrows (+1 Combat when used)
Adventurer's Clothes (+1 Competition)
Companion: Rock Suit Norman (+1 Combat/Defending Rolls, -1 Movement Rolls)
Companion: Yodeel the PIMP ( +1 Persuasion, +1 Competition, -1 Recruiting) {Danger!}
Companion: Hump-Mat the Flying Shag Carpet (Allows for free movement between sections of the island, +1 Movement)
Solarlune
(3) (4) (5)
You poke around for some rocks, but none fit in your pockets. You decide instead to carry one that has a strange rainbow color to it - it was under the dark rocks! Sure you've found something important, you begin making circles in the side of the mountain as the witch looks at you with a strange expression. You realize you're getting a look.
"What?"
"You can't do this, your magic is worth piss!"
You gather that she's saying your circles won't work. She didn't have to be mean...
Without warning, the witch shoots a magical beam at the side of the volcano. Since you were standing there, you are enclosed in the result - a lava body suit! It seems to be able to talk, but it doesn't seem very social.
"Cool!" you exclaim.
And, yes. It is cool.
In your hot new look you stroll to the peaceful waterfall. It's a nice refreshing area compared to the spiky shoals, murderous gingerbread houses and crazy swamps you're used to so far on this island. Suddenly, a beautiful mermaid emerges from the water and settles on the side of the pond the waterfall deposits its water. She's not wearing anything, but her long purple hair hides anything you may or may not want to see. She looks at you and beckons to you with her finger.
A rainbow can be seen by the waterfall and the sunlight feels nice on your skin - you haven't had a chance to feel it until now. Jungles border the volcano, waterfall and tiny meadow area you inf yourself in. The only border that is different from jungle is the volcano you were at earlier. There are many holes in the meadow and the mermaid continues to beckon.
::Status::
-Inero Volcano in Kansas-
Your knuckles are feelin' good!
Not a drop of mud is left on you!
Raiding time is over.
::Items::
Companion: The Witch, no need to know her name! (Can cast magic, +1 Luck)
Companion: Bob the Lava Suit (+1 Defending, -1 Movement)
Witch's Broom (Allows you to travel sections of the island freely!)
Plumber's Clothes (+1 Competence)
Bone Sword (+1 Combat Roll, +1 Persuasion)
Spiritual Chocolate Floor Chunk (+1 Defending)
Witch's Slingshot x20 Ammo (+1 combat when used)
Cookies~<3 x4 (Good if you need energy)
Bottle of Scream (I wonder what the best octave is...)
Petrified Broom (Perhaps there's a way to un-petrify this?)
Rainbow Rock (+1 Luck)
Dudes
(5)
With only the desire to leave this place with your friend, you throw Jeffrey at Maria and impale her! In the corner of her defeat she curses you and seems to be done. You look back to the monsters and both your staves out and get ready. You make the first move! With a flurry of fire, you hit the smaller one that has a bow. You plan on using the Chill Staff next when -
BONK
You get conked on the head by the larger creature! In rage, you cry out for Jeffrey, though your adrenaline doesn't quite communicate what you said to yourself. You back-staff the large creature and fly at the smaller one!
Suddenly, a veil seems to be lifted from your eyes. A girl cowers in the corner before you and you look over your shoulder. The creature looks like a man now instead of a creature. You look back to the girl.
What do you do?
::Status:
-On the other side of Deep Deep Chasm in Cleveland. Whose Ice Castle is it Anyway?!-
A never soft dude.
Jeffrey is behind you, how is he?
Maria is defeated!
You're in danger still! Careful!
::Items::
Companion: Jeffrey, the Speaking Hybrid Blade (+1 Combat, +1 Competence, +1 Climbing, Allows you to use Maria's power still~)
Attractive Aviator Suit (+1 Persuasion Roll)
Gentleman's Top hat (+1 Recruiting)
Pretty Chill Staff (Allows you to use ice and cold water magic, Also good for ice statues coincidentally.)
Steroid Staff (Allows you to use the magic of flames and smoke through channeling your masculinity)
Ever Blue Claw (+1 Combat, +1 Climbing)
x1 Very Large Sandy Mat
x1 Sword Sharpener (One use, adds +1 Combat to swords)
Solarlune
50
"Hello, naked mermaid. What's up?" I'll engage her in conversation and try to detect malicious intent. If she seems fine, then I'll do what she wants.
My technomagical circles aren't working? What is this? Unnamed character is sad.
My technomagical circles aren't working? What is this? Unnamed character is sad.
