DORIANDAWES'S PROFILE

"These are the darkest things we kept, the secrets we dare not tell. You cannot see for the shadows up ahead. All is dark, all is dark. Farewell." -The Prince of Pain

I am a corrosive substance masquerading itself as a consistently broke author living off of his folks. My published fiction is out there somewhere in places you should probably not be looking, and I have currently stepped down as creative director for an art magazine as I am seeking to actually be paid for my services. These are things which no one here would care to know.

I have recently picked up independent gaming as a hobby interest and I am fascinated by the idea of using the rpgmaker software as a means of creating interactive art. Working on learning the software in an attempt to implement my strange fiction into an alternative medium.

Despite my prickly surface, I have a pulpy and quite sweet disposition...like a pineapple.

Personal interests include dark ambient/experimental/modern-classical/wtf-even-is-that music, including/but not limited to: Coil, Atrium Carceri, the Anarcocks, Current 93, Sopor Aeternus & the Ensemble of Shadows, and the occasional 80's post-punk/synthpop revival type shit. I enjoy the fiction of Clive Barker, Thomas Ligotti, William Burroughs, and H.P Lovecraft.

Favorite games (in no order whatsoever) include: Majora's Mask, Yume Nikki, Madness Returns, Chzo Mythos, .flow, Space Funeral, and Exmortis.

I enjoy the visual artwork and films of the Brothers Quay, Jiri Barta, Chet Zar, Zdislaw Beksinski, Jodorowsky, Francis Bacon, Kenneth Anger, and Jan Svankmajer.

I love collaborating with people, and while my pixel art skills are in question (no question actually, they're pieces of shit), my brain is a never-ending resource of thoughts, visions, dreams and strange characters. Working with creative people of different talents to bring something fresh, exciting and beautiful is always a pleasure. Feel free to spam my email if you'd like to work with me.

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what scares you the most?

It doesn't take an emo faggot to see the world is shit.

Just because someone has a negative and bleak worldview does not place them into the category of a silly fashion trend that somehow became popular in 2006 only to be quickly effaced by scene and hipster cultures.

Some level of respect would be nice, if only a common courtesy shown in a topic where it was meant that we were to discuss our fears, and a level of vulnerability was displayed. I regret these actions as I see that once more when you show any sides of your weaknesses in front of others they're going to be quick to mock and judge you.

Thank you for inspiring hope in humanity.

Wow, someone on the internet has feelings. Alert the media. They must be a leftover from the emo generation.

what scares you the most?

author=Dyhalto
author=DorianDawes
When I say mankind is doomed, I do not mean that there will come an age in which a full-fledged apocalypse occurs and it is the end of all human life as we know, but that we will gradually lose all those things about ourselves that we once-cherished falling into a darkness where art is dead, individuality successfully squashed by the corporate greed that has so desperately waged war against it. The souls and hearts of man, kindness and love traded away for the approximations of it sold to us in pop songs and Hollywood movies. A world where tabloid celebrities take precedence over children who are brutalized by a government elected to protect and to serve.
I know what you're talking about.
You worry too much. Yes, life's going to get worse for a lot of people in the next decade or two. The GFC isn't over and 'winter' has yet to begin. But the smart will adapt and survive and afterwards proliferate their newfound values, and the sheep will just go die. Humanity goes through these cycles. Hell, part of the reason we have Art is because of this cycle.
Our parents had it good. But you and I and everyone else here (assuming an age of late teens, mid-to-late 20s) were born in an era where we'll have to actually work for a living. I don't mean the 9 to 5 ratrace for 30 years. I mean 10-20% yearly inflation, food shortages, power outages, oppressive government, high crime rates, etc. Great Depression, basically. We'll probably even have WW3.
Knowing what you know should invite less reason to sit around being a mope, and all the more reason to get up and strengthen yourself as a human being. Instead of sitting around saying "They caused this" and "I can't because", go out and educate yourself. The "life you lead and the love you've found" are pretty much counting on your strong shoulders, not your defeatist attitude.

As for the internet; the web is young, and western society is at the height of moral depravity. Let's wait and see how it looks in 2030.


There's a difference between having an attitude of defeatism and confessing a fear.

I go through cycles of bravado and weakness, as we all do. Having a negative view is reasonable so long as there is reason to justify it.

A defeatist attitude would be if I were expressing my own personal miseries or woes, which unlike the rest of the internet, I refuse to share with strangers on a forum. These instead are legitimate concerns that I have, and you are exactly right that it is for these concerns that I do seek to educate myself and create art that attempts to be a light exploding in the face of darkness, bold statements that point at the horrors of today in an attempt to provoke thought and also attempting, however feeble it might be, to try and change one damn thing about this really fucked up society we live in.

I'm sorry, I refuse to sugar-coat the matter. This planet sucks. Humanity sucks. We're terrible creatures who probably don't deserve to live here. We have fleeting moments of redeeming qualities that are easily overshadowed by our immense greed and petty arrogance. We place far too much importance on ourselves in the universe, a universe where entire galaxies are obliterated in a day.

There are those things about us that are redeemable, our capacity to love and create for instance, and these are the things in man that I find most precious because they are the few things that make us worthwhile creatures in a world that does not need us. I hold them very dear to me. I need them to exist, you might say, as desperate and melodramatic as some might see it.

You are right, there is no reason to sit around and mope, as that does nothing but create a self-fulfilling and self-aggrandizing prophecy for those who can sit around and go, "See, I told you so."

I'd rather not be one of those people.

I do what I can.

But in a forum created for expressing our fears, I felt that was not the place to boast of my own endeavors against these things I hate about our world, but instead a thread created to confess what scares us.

What scares me, I will repeat are not any of the aforementioned phobias discussed here, but our own downfall, and that downfall is not in the wiping out of mankind, but in the sacrifice of our souls and humanity on the altars of greed and progress.

It is not all the time a truly legitimate fear, but it does lurk there in the back of my mind. It has kept me up at night, the same as the fear of a prowler might have kept you up at night, or some other thing.

Some fears are silly, some are not.

None of us really have the right to judge someone else's fears as we are all wired differently, and what might be terrifying and earth-shattering for some, might be trivial and petty to another, and we're all in a race to legitimize ourselves to each other, because deep down we're all terrified, insecure, vulnerable motherfuckers.

Generosity in Games

@Mac Mcgee: I borrowed the term 'generosity' in application to entertainment from a film critic who used it in describing a film so overflowing in detail that all those finer little touches that might not have been noticed by someone not looking for them, were all the more rewarding and endearing. There was simply so much to it that it became a different experience watching it each and every time, always noticing something that you missed.

@chana: are you referring to my tumblr blog in my website? If so, yes. It's a weird place on the net as it's basically a bunch of brain vomit and things I find pretty.


@shinan: I love the easter-egg idea. There's also the unpredictable nature of it. 9/10 turning off the lights in Poniko's room in Yume Nikki does nothing. But there's the random chance that when the lights go out that Poniko is turned into the Uboa monster and static and noise fill the screen and you're transported to a world of blood and horror.

Generosity in Games

But what if the subtlety is what makes it such a grand touch? It would have been ruined if Navi would have screamed out, "I THINK THERE'S A DYING SOLDIER IN AN ALLEY, LINK. HEY, HEY LISTEN."

Generosity in Games

Personally, I truly don't mind gameplay elements all that much. I'll literally play anything so long as it can retain my interest and I find it enjoyable. I care more about concepts of stories and images more than action or battle elements, puzzle-solving and platforming. The immersive, emotional experience is what drives me.

How important do you think it is, are those little elements that can go unnoticed through the initial playing experience?

Subtle things that you might take for granted if you rush through the levels trying to claim your prize. Examples include looking out your window in Silent Hill 4 and seeing all the people outside, and the world feels vast and you feel cramped inside your tiny box of an apartment because of it. The soldier dying in an alley way in Ocarina of Time, who you might never get to see if you just race to the Temple of Time to grab the Master Sword. These tiny elements are really what take a game from being a fun time to truly being an exceptional experience.

Even if these things are just simple touches like pictures hanging on a wall in a character's home that are tagged with a narration about the family in the photo, they speak volumes about the story and truly seem to snag me further into that game's world.

what scares you the most?

In a way, the internet is a prime example of mankind's willful violence and tendency to destroy one another. Here we have the greatest source of communication mankind has ever known, and what does the majority of the world do with it?

Use it to distance ourselves further from each other. Social-networking allows us to quietly spy on each other's lives without once ever interacting with another human being. We send hateful messages to one another in futile verbal wars with no purpose save for to see someone else crumble.

There are children who find acts of rape and other non-consensual acts of sexuality attractive.

People live their lives online.

We're all gradually falling away into neat little boxes with our little corporate websites using our searches to sell us more shit.

When I say mankind is doomed, I do not mean that there will come an age in which a full-fledged apocalypse occurs and it is the end of all human life as we know, but that we will gradually lose all those things about ourselves that we once-cherished falling into a darkness where art is dead, individuality successfully squashed by the corporate greed that has so desperately waged war against it. The souls and hearts of man, kindness and love traded away for the approximations of it sold to us in pop songs and Hollywood movies. A world where tabloid celebrities take precedence over children who are brutalized by a government elected to protect and to serve.

These are the things i watch for, and they keep me awake at night dreading the future.

what scares you the most?

author=Dyhalto
But if you see the overall trend, we're making headway. If what you say were true then every time a great civilization fell, we would revert to sticks and stones, hunting and gathering. But instead, technology is advancing, said civilizations are encompassing greater numbers each time, and history continues to progress not without it's roadbumps.
World Peace is actually not that far off. Probably not in our lifetime, but an intuitive person can see where the threads lead.


I wish I could share your optimism friend. I'm not unhappy, as I am quite content with the life I lead and the love I've found, it's just my faith in man has been severely shattered. I want to have hope, but a simple look at the world around me...hell, even things on the internet is enough to make someone wonder where we're going.

I'm Scared of Girls

I am very happy that this game was featured. One of the best and most original titles to come out in a while. I truly enjoyed this experience and I'm extremely gratified to know it received its due recognition.

what scares you the most?

author=Dyhalto
author=DorianDawes
If there is a god then he has left this planet to its own inevitable demise eons ago, or perhaps derides a sick enjoyment from watching things he created collapse upon themselves, all the elements necessary to bring about the fall of the human race placed present within us from the very second the first man climbed up out of the dust or the sea.
And yet, rather than having destroyed each other, we've built huge civilizations and our gradual trend of human multiplication and expansion across the world (soon to be worlds) continues.
So much for our "own inevitable demise".


Look at the greatest of these civilizations, and note time and time again, how they have all eventually fallen to ruin, while others spring up in their place. The entire global economy is on the verge of collapse. Nations are at unrest again.

When man is more prone to destruction than creation, how can there be any hope in his future?

what scares you the most?

If there is a god then he has left this planet to its own inevitable demise eons ago, or perhaps derides a sick enjoyment from watching things he created collapse upon themselves, all the elements necessary to bring about the fall of the human race placed present within us from the very second the first man climbed up out of the dust or the sea.