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Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
I see. But then, why hold onto it? Discriminating people for lack of knowledge is bad, but you have access to knowledge now. You're on the internet. There's differnece between 'could not' and 'could not be bothered' I'm sure there are sites out there that pique your interest where you could learn proper English. It doesn't even have to be educational, you could learn from pretty much any written text as long as the writer does well enough. If you refuse to improve when you have a chance to, everyone has the right to persecute you for it. I can see why Einstein would not change; he had autism, he probably couldn't care less. That doesn't mean he shouldn't have.
Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
You keep using the word 'hick'. I'm not sure if there is an obscure usage of the word I'm not aware of or it doesn't mean what you think it means. Keep in mind, I'm not from the USA, the best I can do when I don't get a word is looking it up, and all meanings of 'hick' I can find are derogatory. What do you mean when you say it?
Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
Even when profound, it is a task to take you seriously. Good thing I know better and listen to people who sound like retards, because sometimes they aren't. I've made use of the procedure you mentioned before. Listen to him, Marrend, he knows what he's talking about.
Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
author=Marrend
I was honestly thinking of getting rid of the whole "eat homework" concept.
Now, now, we don't need to go there. We'll justify it, don't worry. I own about half the 3rd Edition D&D books ever released. Surely there's an ethereal or invisible being who can materialize in dreams and eats intellectual property. I know of one that eats your personality, so why not? I'm not even jokin', Hungarian mythology has magical black chickens born out of bodily waste who serve you in exchange for blood, your soul, or food that is not salty(They have their priorities straight though, saltless food is the most important part). Everything is possible.
author=Marrend
As a total aside, I promised to take up Yuu? If I don't have the wherewithal for Fran, what right do I have to take up another person's cause? I dunno. Maybe I'm just thinking this because my confidence is still crushed. Yeah, probably that.
Note to self: Pointing out mistakes of avoidant people will crush their confidence.
...
Note 2: Should think for a second so to realize the obvious. Also, learn to be nicer to others, Dozen. Not cool.
Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
I got it! So first, we expand on the dream sequences a little(High priority recommended), give them some legitimate backround. Fran should, over time, become from mildly annoyed to at least unsettled, if not outright desperate and panicked, to keep her character realistic. Then Masako and the Player waltz in and save her, for which she is thankful, both does not instantly fall in love with either. Also, I recommend both increasing the Mind requirement as well as giving a chance to try later in case he doesn't have enough.
And so she's saved, all done! Or are they? Not exactly, since Fran just gone out and ate people's homework for months! Surely she at least feel some guilt she needs to get over? And later the player mey convince her to confess... and that throws him off the route, because fuck, he's no magician. As another option along with the last one, the trio gets Tsubasa to convince the teachers just how much of a goddamn idiots they are for not noticing that otherwise diligent studs just so decide to shit on their duties at the same fucking time with an anonymous apology from Fran. This way Tsubasa can stay relevant to the plot. Though revealing her the existence of magic might not be wise; Masako could argue she would just ignore it like she does now or the realization could shake her being.
Also, we just gotta implement the phrase "Ghosts eat homework" in some form, at some point.
And so she's saved, all done! Or are they? Not exactly, since Fran just gone out and ate people's homework for months! Surely she at least feel some guilt she needs to get over? And later the player mey convince her to confess... and that throws him off the route, because fuck, he's no magician. As another option along with the last one, the trio gets Tsubasa to convince the teachers just how much of a goddamn idiots they are for not noticing that otherwise diligent studs just so decide to shit on their duties at the same fucking time with an anonymous apology from Fran. This way Tsubasa can stay relevant to the plot. Though revealing her the existence of magic might not be wise; Masako could argue she would just ignore it like she does now or the realization could shake her being.
Also, we just gotta implement the phrase "Ghosts eat homework" in some form, at some point.
Finished content
author=Marrend
And now, the moment of truth. The first full release of Yume Francesca.
Amount of testing:
Testing? What is that? Please, tell Rasuna!
In other words, I expect to hear some bug reports. I should have really tested this character out more, but, I really want to get this character out of my hair!
Other commentary:
Personally speaking, I suspect the writing fell off with the later STORYs. I attribute this mostly to the fact that I just wanted to get the character out of my hair (see above). Not that I'm trying to excuse myself, but it's something to possibly watch out for.
Oh, you... Have you tought of taking advantage of that little nagging feeling to finish the route and don't put a dot to the end of it until it's satisficatory? It'd be practical, and would save me a facepalm.
The mistakes and errors so far:
-You didn't make sure the stories are separate from or blend into the original Masako and Tsubasa routes. This causes them and the player to look like Alzheimer's or MPD sufferers, which while no doubt amusing, is just not true.
-"Personally speaking, I suspect the writing fell off with the later STORYs." And your solution? "Welp, guess I will upload it anyway and have Dozen figure it out." You're lucky I have no prob with that. If you don't have the time and want someone to do it for you, just say so, silly, no need for fancy talk.
My feelings regarding of the later story events were... mixed. On one hand, I'm pleased to find out that Masako is, in fact, in possession of magical powers(and totally spent four hours figuring out her D&D classes and stats based on this and the Matsumori Days walkthrough. It was a blast!). On the other... Well, let me show you an abridged version:
Player: Yo Tsubasa.
Tsubasa: How do you know me?(Not like I told you, that was the other me.) Masako?
Player: No, I'm definitely not letting you blame Masako which would amount to nothing and admit I'm a creep who stalk girls all over school! At least that's how I make it sound like!
Tsubasa: I'm offended even though invading other's privacy is the better half of my job!
Masako: Peace out! I can do magic!
Player:{Somehow completely okay with that. Or just can't think while he's focused on Masako's mammary glands, whichever. No inner comments.}
Tsubasa: I don't believe you!
Masako: TELEPORT!
Tsubasa: I refuse to admit being wrong in face of indisputable evidence and proceed to huff instead of inquiring vast knowledge of the world I had no idea about up to this point!
Masako: You do that, I'm tired. Talk to Mina.
Mina: Ghosts eat homework!
Tsubasa: What.
Player: {Completely okay with that. I suspect Mina has large breasts or one hell of an Absolute Territory.}
(Team goes home.)
Cue to the rescue:
Fran: Heeyyy, I'm that girl the protagonist spent so little time with we lack the most cursory knowledge of each other, let alone an established connection! S'up?
Masako: We're saving you!
Fran: No shit?
Masako: Dunno.
Fran: Reassuring. Just what I needed after spending circa three months alone on an unspecified coexistent plane. Carry on.
Masako:{Basically repeats what Mina said. Layman's terms can suck it.}
Fran. Yumm! Homework! And notes!
Tsubasa: WAT.
Masako: Fran needs brainz.
Tsubasa: Not mine.
Player: A: Sure, I'm fine with mental cannibalism. Somehow. I don't even need to convince myself to sacrifice my health and intellect for the greater good. Pardon me while I glare at your boobies.
B: No wai!
A:
Masako: {Magic stuff!}
Player: Weird. Is all I can say after my mind was taxed.(Could be realistic for all we know.)
Fran: Player's brain is yummy! Now I love you!(Disregard any unsettling implications. If you can.)
Tsubasa: So why did you need me again?
B:
Masako: It's okay. You're just an asshole, I understand.
Fran: You suck! I will eat your work until the end of time because you didn't go through an unknown procedure with a creepy voodoo girl for someone you just met!
Player: Woe is me. Boobs?
Tsubasa: How do you know me?(Not like I told you, that was the other me.) Masako?
Player: No, I'm definitely not letting you blame Masako which would amount to nothing and admit I'm a creep who stalk girls all over school! At least that's how I make it sound like!
Tsubasa: I'm offended even though invading other's privacy is the better half of my job!
Masako: Peace out! I can do magic!
Player:{Somehow completely okay with that. Or just can't think while he's focused on Masako's mammary glands, whichever. No inner comments.}
Tsubasa: I don't believe you!
Masako: TELEPORT!
Tsubasa: I refuse to admit being wrong in face of indisputable evidence and proceed to huff instead of inquiring vast knowledge of the world I had no idea about up to this point!
Masako: You do that, I'm tired. Talk to Mina.
Mina: Ghosts eat homework!
Tsubasa: What.
Player: {Completely okay with that. I suspect Mina has large breasts or one hell of an Absolute Territory.}
(Team goes home.)
Cue to the rescue:
Fran: Heeyyy, I'm that girl the protagonist spent so little time with we lack the most cursory knowledge of each other, let alone an established connection! S'up?
Masako: We're saving you!
Fran: No shit?
Masako: Dunno.
Fran: Reassuring. Just what I needed after spending circa three months alone on an unspecified coexistent plane. Carry on.
Masako:{Basically repeats what Mina said. Layman's terms can suck it.}
Fran. Yumm! Homework! And notes!
Tsubasa: WAT.
Masako: Fran needs brainz.
Tsubasa: Not mine.
Player: A: Sure, I'm fine with mental cannibalism. Somehow. I don't even need to convince myself to sacrifice my health and intellect for the greater good. Pardon me while I glare at your boobies.
B: No wai!
A:
Masako: {Magic stuff!}
Player: Weird. Is all I can say after my mind was taxed.(Could be realistic for all we know.)
Fran: Player's brain is yummy! Now I love you!(Disregard any unsettling implications. If you can.)
Tsubasa: So why did you need me again?
B:
Masako: It's okay. You're just an asshole, I understand.
Fran: You suck! I will eat your work until the end of time because you didn't go through an unknown procedure with a creepy voodoo girl for someone you just met!
Player: Woe is me. Boobs?
So yeah. Work on it.
-The game engine can't handle question marks as IDs. Don't use them.
-Minor typos.
Other notes and complaints
-In case you didn't get this from the abrigded version or from the fact the abriged version is almost as long as the real one, I bring to your attention that the route is the shortest route in the history of shortness. All for the worse since it introduces a powerful plot device to Heartache. You know, magic.
-Weak story elements and dialogs all over the place.
The Uchioniko hides in shame, Marrend. You can do better than this, I know it. You'll have to come up with some stories for Fran if you want the route to appear on the Finished Content page. If you don't have the time, I could fix what's done, I have some ideas.
If you agree to a collaboration, that is. It' no pressure, really.
Please don't cut me with that tongue.
Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
author=triad2
i went with honey its affectionate its sweet it would embarrass him to no end and would drive miki nuts
Man, couldn't you tell me sooner? And here I was so psyched up I've done something worthwhile! *grumble* GET TO WORK, YOU!(Still no pressure.)
Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
author=triad2
I'm thinking more along the lines of something just to embarrass him not really put him down something just to make him blush and would infuriate Miki.
Edit Something along the lines of how Harley always called the joker pudding pop
I got it! DEATH RAY. All geniuses love themselves some death rays! She would definitely consider it flattering!
Proof.( And that's her fifth one, by the way.)
Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
author=flowerthiefThe question is... Should we do something about that?>:)(Probably not.)
Good thing no one made it to the "Just run" category!
author=triad2
it kinda surprised me seira didn't make it into that category lol, though no surprise she was the furthest to the right
There was a lot of consideration going on, hehe. But she did get better over time - without meds or psychs at that - so I couldn't dub her 'Completely Lost' with a good conscience.
Content creation (artistic, 1st archive)
author=Marrend^^
I laughed at some of them. So, mission accomplished, I guess!
author=MarrendA gross exaggeration for the sake of a joke really. In practice, those under Flawless Mind could look at him and would probably end up fine, but wouldn't have it in them to stare down a god.
*Edit: I wonder if Masako really could look Cthulhu in the eyeand make him blink?
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