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Homeland

03/13/2011 03:24 AM

Homeland is a novel I've been working on. It's narrated by a mentally deficient boy who witnesses a UFO, and how he deals with convincing his dysfunctional family about it. He is usually unable to explain himself properly and instead likes to do the more difficult descriptions in the form of drawings. Eventually... shit goes down...

Here's a link to more of my work:
http://rpgmaker.net/forums/topics/6612/

Here's the first chapter.

HOMELAND

CHAPTER ONE

She's gone. Phee's gone.

And the last thing she said to me was that everyone had to know the truth about the aliens.
Except I'm not even sure what happened. But Dr. Lavendar always told me to write down whatever I'm unsure of and then maybe I would not be so unsure of them after. I should have done that for so many things. Like that dream I have, where I find myself, waist-high in a sea of yellow flowers under a bright blue sky. And three mountains in the distance. The big mountain smiling in the middle smiling widely. I wade very slowly through the flowers because I cannot see my feet and I don't want to trip over any of the weeds.

Dr. Lavendar always says I have a little trouble explaining myself, but that I am improving. Dr. Lavendar told me that even the best writers might not be able to get across what they want to say to everyone, though. Because they might not be able to imagine it properly. So I asked her, "But Dr. Lavendar, what if we just drew everything we wanted to say?"

Dr. Lavendar said, "Even the best painters might not be able to say everything they need to say to people with just paintings alone."

So I figured that the only way people could really communicate the best is by both writing and drawing. So I've taken the time to draw out my dream for you.

While drawing that, I began thinking of another incident that I spoke to Dr. Lavendar about that I did not understand.

Anytime I walk into Dr. Lavendar's office, I could smell the honey. Dr. Lavendar herself smells like honey. I prefer her over Dr. Calliope, who smelled like pinecones; Dr. Helene, who smelled like maple syrup; and Dr. Sand, who smelled like earthworms. Dr. Lavendar smells like honey. I think it is in her genes because her daughter Athena also smells like roses all the time. Dr. Lavendar's hair is short, not like Athena's. Dr. Lavendar wears glasses, not like Athena. And Dr. Lavendar has a deep voice, not like Athena. But Dr. Lavendar has dimples, just like Athena.

Dr. Lavendar smiled at me and then had me lie down on the chair. She asked me, "How was your day?"
I started telling her about how I woke up and then I peed and then I brushed my teeth and then I bathed and how the soap lather was but she stopped me and made me fast forward to when I was playing with my dolls near the rose garden. It had been a beautiful day and from the rose garden I could've seen Phee dousing her naked body in something like kerosene. She had locked herself in the bathroom and had her forehead pressed against the mirror above the pedestal sink. The day before I had heard her reciting this rhyme,

There are a million ways to die
None suitable, thought I
To be bled to death with enmity
Or frozen alive with no dignity
Being struck by bolts on the spire
Leaves little for regret
I'd rather be consumed by a fire
For a small, simple match
I desire my end be set.

Dr. Lavendar's eyes widened. She told me, "You remembered that whole rhyme. Do you know what it means?"

"No."

She nodded and started writing in her notepad. It is easier for me to talk when her eyes are not on me. "Carry on," she said, her eyes on the notepad.

So I stopped playing with my dolls and I ran through the roses. Some of the thorns cut my leg. I ran and told Mommy (Rion and Phee have to call her Mother but she said I can call her Mommy), who then burst through the bathroom door and gasped at Phee, "My word, Ophelia!"

As they walked off together, I pressed my forehead against the mirror above saw them reflected as one. I giggle. I looked silly. Like a gaunt one-eyed creature with brown skin and long, dark hair. Like this:

"Odie!" Mommy yelled from the living room, "Odie! Come sit with us. Your sister needs you."
"Were you scared, Odie?" Dr. Lavendar asked me.
I lied and said no even though I was scared but I didn't want her to think I am a scaredy-cat. She was going to be my mother-in-law one day, anyway, so I had to impress her.
"What happened after?" she asked me.

I told her. I'd gone into the living room and sat on the couch. My mother sighed and looked at me. I looked at Phee. A pink towel enveloped her. She looked funny. I looked at the new painting Mommy bought. It was a pretty mushroom. I wish I could draw the painting for everyone but I have not developed such artistic skill yet. I realized if I drew it, it will be plagiarism.

"What are your thoughts on plagiarism?" Dr. Lavendar asked me.

I told her, "My Mommy knows I like to draw and she told me plagiarists are like children who go into your garden and pick your roses and say it came from their garden! Boy, did I get angry when I heard that! But it was a red pretty mushroom and I like mushrooms."

Dr. Lavendar raised her eyebrows. She crossed her legs and asked me, "How did the conversation between your mother and your sister go?"

"Ophelia. You're doused in paint thinner. Explain," Mommy had said.
Phee rested her arm on the side of the couch, saying nothing.
"A flammable substance," Mommy said.
Phee looked at me. Her eyebrows raised. "Odie's bleeding," she said.

I looked at my legs. They were so red from the cuts. I like red but I wanted to scream. "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy," I said. Mommy ran into the kitchen. She came back with some bandages and disinfectant.

Mommy ruffled my hair and told me to sit on her lap. So I sat on her lap. She said, "What are we going to do with you, Odyssey?"
"What are we going to do with you, Odyssey," Dr. Lavendar repeated, sounding out each word individually. "What did you make of that, Odyssey?" This time, not individually.

"It was a rhetorical question," I told her, "So I didn't have to say anything in response."
Mommy had then tended to my leg and had begun talking to Phee again. She said, "Ophelia, Ophelia, Ophelia. No more of this. Last time it was paraffin. You will get skin rash. You must stop punishing yourself over Blitzen. He was not worth it. This kind of weakness is unacceptable. You are a Laika woman! Start acting it! I don't want this kind of weakness continuing in the Laika lineage."

"Phee is a strong Laika woman," I say.
Mommy patted my head. She paused. She then said to me, "Also, I want you to know I honestly do not expect any grandchildren from you. It is too much responsibility for you."
I told her, "But I have a girlfriend."
"You have never told me about a girlfriend, Odyssey," Dr. Lavendar interrupted the story, raising her eyebrows. She uncrossed her legs and leaned forward.
"I lied," I lied.
"You lied to your mother about having a girlfriend?"

"Yes."
"Why did you lie to your mother, Odyssey?" Dr. Lavendar asked.

I said nothing.
"Did you feel disappointed when she told you it would be too much responsibility for you?"
"Yes."

My girlfriend's name: Athena Lavendar. And she smells like honey. If Dr. Lavendar were to find out, we would both be in trouble. Athena had long hair and a long nose. Her forehead was something all the boys admire. It was big and beautiful. She let me touch it behind the tyre swing in her backyard. It was smooth. She wanted to see my nipples but I told her I was shy. I see some of the men's chests and crotches in some magazines and I feel, what Dr. Lavendar calls, self-conscious. You do not feel good about yourself when you see all these men looking like they stuffed bullfrogs down their thongs. Phee saw mine once and she said, "Your penis looks funny."

I'd told her, "Well, my penis is funny."

Ever since I was a little boy, I'd wanted to fall in love. Athena invited me over to her house one day when her parents were not home. She had gotten a new couch. It was red. Red is my favourite colour. But Athena said her sister said it was not just a couch: it was a love seat. I remember the first thing I did when I sat on the love seat. I put the tips of my index fingers together and put them close to my eyes and then focus on where they meet. Athena told me to do it. If you do it right, it looks like you have a tiny sausage between your fingers. I should draw it.

"Have you ever fallen in love, Odie?" Athena asked me.
I shook my head.
"Do you want to try falling in love right now?" she asked.
"With you, Athena?"
"Yes, Odie. Do you want to try falling in love with me? We are sitting on the love seat. We might as well try falling in love."
I bounced up and down on the love seat. "Yes, I do. I do. I do. I do. I want to fall in love with Athena but I don't know how."
"Just try to love me. And I will try to love you. Just look at me and concentrate on loving me, Odie."
I looked at her and concentrated as hard as I could. I stared at her until all the blood rushed up to my head and my eyes watered.
"Is it working, Odie?"
"I think so," I said, "What about for you?"
"Yes," she said, "Yes. It's working. I fell in love. I love you, Odyssey Laika."
"I love you too, Athena Lavendar. The love seat works!" We hugged each other and bounced up and down on it, laughing. She smelled like honey. That was the happiest day of my life. That was three days before I saw the light on the hill and the whole mess began.

"What did your mother say when you told her you had a girlfriend, Odyssey?" Dr. Lavendar asked me.

"She said, That's nice, dear," I say, "That's what she said."

"Does she know it is a lie?"

"No."

"Are you going to tell her?"

"Yes."

Dr. Lavendar paused and nudged her glasses with her pencil. She leaned back into her chair and crossed her legs. She asked me, "Did you make any attempt to console your sister, Odyssey?"

"I told her she looks pretty."

"What did she say to that?"

"She said, Thank you, Odie. I also told her hair looks nice and that I was sad that she was sad."

"What did she say to that?"

"She said she was sorry for worrying me. Then she reached out her arms and told me to sit with her. And Mommy told me to do so. So I did."

"Did you want to?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because Mommy did not believe I had a girlfriend."

She shifted her eyebrows close together. I could've seen the creases on her forehead. She says, "But you just said that was a lie, Odyssey."

"Yes. I said that. It was a lie."

"You were angry your mother did not believe your lie."

"Yes. So I went to sit with Phee and she shifted her towel aside and let me suckle on her nipple. I could still smell the paint thinner on it."

Dr. Lavendar asked, "How often does your sister let you suckle?"

"This is only the second time. Mommy usually lets me. Not Phee. As soon as I'd begun suckling on Phee's nipple, she mouthed to Mommy, Doesn't he have to see the doctor today? And Mommy mouthed back, I have to go to the drugstore later too. I giggled because they thought I could not understand what they were mouthing. Then I stopped suckling and I mouthed to them, Can I come to the store too after Dr. Lavendar? And they said yes."

"How did that make you feel?"

I thought about the question for a few seconds before I answered: "It felt weird to talk without a voice."
Dr. Lavendar laughed. She asked, "How did it feel to be still heard?"

"Psychopathic," I said, smiling.

Dr. Lavendar looked at me. All of a sudden she got very serious. "Psychopathic, Odyssey?"

"Like I can talk to people's minds."

"Telepathic," she says.

My lower lip began to quiver when I asked, "What does psychopathic mean then?"

She wrote in her notepad. She did not watch me. "It means how bad people behave."

I curled up and raised my legs up to my belly. My eyes became hot. My voice trembled. "I feel so ashamed."
I felt Dr. Lavendar's palm on my thigh. She said, "Odyssey? It's fine. It's fine to make a mistake. Next time you want to use a big word, though, it would be wise to know its meaning for sure. The best of us make that mistake. Okay?"

I sniffled.

She said, "Okay?"

I sniffled. "Okay. You won't tell anyone?"

"These sessions are confidential, Odyssey. This means that whatever you say in here to me will not be known by anyone else."

"Mommy won't know?"

"No."

"Rion?"

"No."

"Phee?"

"No."

"Athena?"

"No."

I smile. "Good."

I went with Phee and Mommy to the drugstore. Rion never came with us because he was ashamed of me. He said I act like I am four years old. He told me to act my age, which was four times as old as four (which means I am only acting a quarter of how I should be acting), which was also his age. We are twin brothers. We look alike (he does not like when people say this) but we act differently. So when he told me to act my age, did he mean he wanted me to act like him? But then Phee and Mommy would tell Rion to act his age sometimes. And then I would get confused. Maybe he was the one who was supposed to be acting like me, because Phee and Mommy never told me to act my age.

I think Rion was ashamed of our family. I think so because one day he and Mommy got into a fight and he yelled, "I'm ashamed to be in this family!" and then slammed the door. I did not like Rion that day. I do not like people who intentionally make loud noises. I do not like people who talk loudly. There is no need to talk louder than what someone can hear. There is also no need to eat more than you need to. And Rion eats too much sometimes. Sometimes I think I am ashamed of Rion too, like when he eats too much birthday cake.

Phee always told me me that I am pure. Phee was nineteen and had just got her degree from university. I remember feeling super-proud on her graduation day, to have a super-smart sister like that. I remember a couple of years ago we used to hide under my bed and talk. She used to talk about the stars and sometimes we would play a game where I would name an object like 'Fish' or 'Teddy Bear' and she would use her finger to trace them out for me in the night sky. She used to say she had just as much fun as I did, but I think I had more fun.

About two years ago Phee asked me to list things I love. By the next morning, my entire notebook was full. I cannot remember everything that I had listed but I can list the first thirty. I love:

1) Phee
2) Mommy
3) Not Rion but Rion's bicycle
4) Drawing
5) Bumblebees with pollen on their legs
6) Jump rope when it's very breezy
7) An apple rolling down a hill
8) Elevator ding!
9) Trying to catch jellybeans in my mouth
10) Lizard hunting
11) Fudge for dessert
12) Playing with my dolls on a nice day
13) Doing a tiptoe after tying my shoelaces
14) Erasing something for really long and then blowing all the eraser dust off my desk
15) Pencil shavings shaped like skirts
16) People who can do a hand-stand
17) Clack-clacks.
18) Pressing a glass over my mouth and then sucking all the air in so I don't have to hold the glass with my hands anymore
19) Seeing the stars form an umbrella
20) Mushrooms!
21) Putting my teddy bears together to look like they are hugging
22) Milk mustaches, but not on me
23) Red wheelbarrows
24) The dream I had where Phee was flying me like a kite
25) Opening the fridge and putting my head inside and sniffing very hard
26) 40% humidity
27) Strawberry jam
28) Swans made out of glass
29) Don't tell anyone, but jumping up and down on the couch when Mommy isn't home.
30) Marbles. The big ones.

Athena is missing from the list because I didn't know her yet.

The list went up to about seven hundred. When Phee saw it, she told me, "You are a pure person, Odie. I don't want you to change. I don't want you to be like me. You have at least seven hundred things you love here. I'd be lucky to say I have ten. I lost my love too quickly."