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emmych
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What are you thinking about right now?
i would really love to sleep rn
but i gotta do work or something....
/me slinks off to youtube to slack off even more
but i gotta do work or something....
/me slinks off to youtube to slack off even more
Release Day!
Oh, wowie! I didn't realize this was that close to completion. Good for you! <3
I'll play this at...at some point. *laments about university*
I'll play this at...at some point. *laments about university*
of games, representation, and women's cheekbones
Because I was addressed directly:
When I talk about sifting through what your actual feelings are VS feelings that have been societally imposed, I am talking about engaging in a process of self-reflection for your benefit and for the benefit of others. I'm talking about looking at things you take for granted -- say, your gender, or your sexuality, your ideas about other races, or about disability, addictions, etc. -- and really getting to the core of why you feel that way.
You start by looking at something you believe to be true and peeling back the layers until you truly understand why you think it's true. This really isn't a process anyone can guide you through! The most other people can do for you is point out what popular thought is about a certain subject, and it is up to you to discover whether you agree with the thing because that's what you truly feel, or whether you agree with the thing because it's what you've been brought up to believe.
These things can be as simple as "I have to behave x way around my family because reasons" to things as complex as "I'm cisgender". Sometimes, you will walk out of one of these sessions of self-examination with nothing but a better understanding of how you think, and I don't think that's a bad thing! There's literally no downside I can think of to understanding yourself better.
The danger to NOT engaging in this kind of self-reflection is that you will unconsciously perpetuate negative stereotypes about other people. It's one thing to privately decide "eh I don't ever wanna date someone who has the same genitals that I do," and another thing entirely to say "I will never date a trans woman because they're all biologically male." It is important to recognize that there are external influences that train us to think a certain way, like "If I, a cisgender man, were to be attracted to a transgender woman, that would make me Gay because she has a Penis!!" Max mentioned the failure to disclose the fact you're trans to someone as a reason for violence against trans people, but I would argue that it is a lack of understanding about your OWN feelings and desires that is the reason for violence. If someone is truly secure in their own sexuality and sees transgender women AS WOMEN -- not "male bodied" women or "female identified", but honest to goodness women -- they will not react with violence when they discover their partner has genitals they're not attracted to. They'd simply treat it like any other deal breaker in the same vein as shit like "oh you don't want kids" or "oh you're planning on moving across the country" or "you don't like cuddling as much as I do," aka grounds for saying "I don't think this is gonna work" and then moving on peacefully.
ANYWAY tl;dr: I can't do it for you, but self-reflection is good for yourself and the people around you! Just do the thing, read some books/articles/talk to folks with knowledge you don't have and practice active listening.
ALSO POSTSCRIPT: people continue bringing up the "BUT THEN GAY PEOPLE COULD BE STRAIGHT" thing, and idk if I mentioned it in my previous posts: bein' LGB is to be something "abnormal" in our current society. LGB identities are NOT taken for granted, because for a person so arrive at the conclusion they're not straight is to engage in the exact kinds of self-reflection I'm advocating here.
author=KylailaI already did! But I'll rephrase it and add detail, since evidently I didn't do that and failed to communicate.
Please give me something I can use right now.
When I talk about sifting through what your actual feelings are VS feelings that have been societally imposed, I am talking about engaging in a process of self-reflection for your benefit and for the benefit of others. I'm talking about looking at things you take for granted -- say, your gender, or your sexuality, your ideas about other races, or about disability, addictions, etc. -- and really getting to the core of why you feel that way.
You start by looking at something you believe to be true and peeling back the layers until you truly understand why you think it's true. This really isn't a process anyone can guide you through! The most other people can do for you is point out what popular thought is about a certain subject, and it is up to you to discover whether you agree with the thing because that's what you truly feel, or whether you agree with the thing because it's what you've been brought up to believe.
These things can be as simple as "I have to behave x way around my family because reasons" to things as complex as "I'm cisgender". Sometimes, you will walk out of one of these sessions of self-examination with nothing but a better understanding of how you think, and I don't think that's a bad thing! There's literally no downside I can think of to understanding yourself better.
The danger to NOT engaging in this kind of self-reflection is that you will unconsciously perpetuate negative stereotypes about other people. It's one thing to privately decide "eh I don't ever wanna date someone who has the same genitals that I do," and another thing entirely to say "I will never date a trans woman because they're all biologically male." It is important to recognize that there are external influences that train us to think a certain way, like "If I, a cisgender man, were to be attracted to a transgender woman, that would make me Gay because she has a Penis!!" Max mentioned the failure to disclose the fact you're trans to someone as a reason for violence against trans people, but I would argue that it is a lack of understanding about your OWN feelings and desires that is the reason for violence. If someone is truly secure in their own sexuality and sees transgender women AS WOMEN -- not "male bodied" women or "female identified", but honest to goodness women -- they will not react with violence when they discover their partner has genitals they're not attracted to. They'd simply treat it like any other deal breaker in the same vein as shit like "oh you don't want kids" or "oh you're planning on moving across the country" or "you don't like cuddling as much as I do," aka grounds for saying "I don't think this is gonna work" and then moving on peacefully.
ANYWAY tl;dr: I can't do it for you, but self-reflection is good for yourself and the people around you! Just do the thing, read some books/articles/talk to folks with knowledge you don't have and practice active listening.
ALSO POSTSCRIPT: people continue bringing up the "BUT THEN GAY PEOPLE COULD BE STRAIGHT" thing, and idk if I mentioned it in my previous posts: bein' LGB is to be something "abnormal" in our current society. LGB identities are NOT taken for granted, because for a person so arrive at the conclusion they're not straight is to engage in the exact kinds of self-reflection I'm advocating here.
of games, representation, and women's cheekbones
It's great that people wanna talk about forcing people to be attracted to or be in relationships other people, but like... no one was arguing for that. I think literally everyone here can agree that forcing people who are not interested in each other to be together is a bad thing, and that forcing someone to stay in a relationship they are no longer comfortable with is also a bad thing. No one is going to be happy! It is unfair to the partner that doesn't want to be there!
Going back to the actual point I made: I was discussing that attraction and desire has not developed in a vacuum. There is a reason certain bodies are gendered in certain ways. There is a reason trans people are seen as "weird" or "undesirable". A lot of times, a preference you have may not be simply a preference: it is a product of societal conditioning wrt who acceptable partners are and who aren't acceptable.
Note that nothing about this is saying "if you identify as x you must date people REGARDLESS OF GENDER OR GENITAL CONFIGURATION," it is simply a request to sift out how much of your desires have been influenced by external forces, since this is literally a thing that happens to every single human being that is alive. It is entirely valid if your desires do not change after you have done this! But at least you'll know that you aren't writing off entire groups of people you'd otherwise be interested in because of some Thing you happened to pick up as you grew. Really, I can't see why someone WOULDN'T want to do this, since... yeah, either you end up where you started, or end up having some potential cool relationships with people you otherwise woulda written off because you weren't "supposed" to be attracted to them.
Going back to the actual point I made: I was discussing that attraction and desire has not developed in a vacuum. There is a reason certain bodies are gendered in certain ways. There is a reason trans people are seen as "weird" or "undesirable". A lot of times, a preference you have may not be simply a preference: it is a product of societal conditioning wrt who acceptable partners are and who aren't acceptable.
Note that nothing about this is saying "if you identify as x you must date people REGARDLESS OF GENDER OR GENITAL CONFIGURATION," it is simply a request to sift out how much of your desires have been influenced by external forces, since this is literally a thing that happens to every single human being that is alive. It is entirely valid if your desires do not change after you have done this! But at least you'll know that you aren't writing off entire groups of people you'd otherwise be interested in because of some Thing you happened to pick up as you grew. Really, I can't see why someone WOULDN'T want to do this, since... yeah, either you end up where you started, or end up having some potential cool relationships with people you otherwise woulda written off because you weren't "supposed" to be attracted to them.
infinium_autumn_leaves.png
of games, representation, and women's cheekbones
author=SnowOwl
Wait, so if sexuality is a social construct, doesn't that mean that those church things where they repurpose homosexuals to be heterosexual is actually a thing that would work.
Sure, I'll bite on this one.
When people talk about things like sexuality and gender as social constructs, what we're talking about is heteronormativity -- the idea that being heterosexual is the default, "normal" thing to be -- and cisnormativity -- same deal, only replace heterosexual with cisgender.
People's genders and sexualities are very real things, but often times they are influenced by societal expectations. To use a personal example, I was convinced I was heterosexual until I was around 19 years old, and that I was cisgender until around last year. And this is despite, in hindsight, displaying some very not heterosexual behaviour and never really fitting the mold of being cis. This is an example of sexuality and gender as a social construct: I was taught that being straight and cis is Normal, so obviously that is what I had to be. I had never even considered that I could be queer or trans, because these were not valid options presented to me. It was only after some soul searching and learning about other things I could be that I ended up discovering who I truly was.
Reconditioning LGB folks to be straight is reinforcing that social construct, because the idea is the "cure" them and make them "normal."
of games, representation, and women's cheekbones
@Corfaisus and everyone else wanting to engage with this line of discussion:
Alright I wasn't gonna engage with this because it's WICKEDLY off topic, but oh man. Can't leave this point un-challenged.
It actually is bigotry not to find trans people attractive because they are trans.
Note the last part there, the "because they are trans." You are not obligated to find anyone attractive that you do not find attractive! Because you're right, if you go down that road, you slip into the pile of "gay people can choose to be straight" or "women can just decide to go out with men because the men like them" along with all sorts of other icky implications. So understand: that's not what I'm discussing here.
Penta went into this a page or two ago, about how we've all probably been brought up in a society that is inherently transphobic and thus have probably absorbed transphobic ideas. One of these ideas is that trans people are not desirable! So hey, that preference you have in which you're not into trans women? That didn't develop in a vacuum. There were forces influencing that that you had no control over.
Obviously you can't force yourself to change or be attracted to someone you're not feelin' it for, but what you can do is unpack WHY you're attracted to some people and not attracted to others. This is not an easy process, but it is an important one. I've been workin' on it myself, and y'know what? I've genuinely started finding people that I didn't find attractive before attractive, and it's helped immensely with my OWN complexes around being desirable.
Finally, I would warn against loudly declaring the fact you don't wanna date trans people...? Like, you're allowed to have that opinion if you want, but consider how it makes trans people feel. Having people holler about how they don't find you desirable and never will because they could NEVER date A Trans is pretty demoralizing and hurtful! So alright, you don't have to be attracted to trans people and you don't have to date trans people (because, hey, chances are, once they know how you feel, they won't wanna date you either!), but at least show the courtesy of not being a big jerk.
Alright I wasn't gonna engage with this because it's WICKEDLY off topic, but oh man. Can't leave this point un-challenged.
It actually is bigotry not to find trans people attractive because they are trans.
Note the last part there, the "because they are trans." You are not obligated to find anyone attractive that you do not find attractive! Because you're right, if you go down that road, you slip into the pile of "gay people can choose to be straight" or "women can just decide to go out with men because the men like them" along with all sorts of other icky implications. So understand: that's not what I'm discussing here.
Penta went into this a page or two ago, about how we've all probably been brought up in a society that is inherently transphobic and thus have probably absorbed transphobic ideas. One of these ideas is that trans people are not desirable! So hey, that preference you have in which you're not into trans women? That didn't develop in a vacuum. There were forces influencing that that you had no control over.
Obviously you can't force yourself to change or be attracted to someone you're not feelin' it for, but what you can do is unpack WHY you're attracted to some people and not attracted to others. This is not an easy process, but it is an important one. I've been workin' on it myself, and y'know what? I've genuinely started finding people that I didn't find attractive before attractive, and it's helped immensely with my OWN complexes around being desirable.
Finally, I would warn against loudly declaring the fact you don't wanna date trans people...? Like, you're allowed to have that opinion if you want, but consider how it makes trans people feel. Having people holler about how they don't find you desirable and never will because they could NEVER date A Trans is pretty demoralizing and hurtful! So alright, you don't have to be attracted to trans people and you don't have to date trans people (because, hey, chances are, once they know how you feel, they won't wanna date you either!), but at least show the courtesy of not being a big jerk.
Second Saturday Scores
Oh, golly! Well that's super cool. Thanks bunches ;w;
(Mostly thanks kumada for the review that gave us WICKED MAKERSCORE~)
(Mostly thanks kumada for the review that gave us WICKED MAKERSCORE~)
Please, Stop Writing Happy Endings
My apologies, I oversimplified your argument for the sake of sounding snappy. People far more eloquent and intelligent than me have responded to the point you actually tried to make, too. It's all several pages back, if you're still interested in having that discussion.
Please, Stop Writing Happy Endings
@Toaster_Team: no one is saying that sad endings are inherently bad or that they shouldn't exist. Like yeah some stories have tragic endings and that's fine. The argument here is that happy endings are lazy and have less value than Serious or Sad endings, but commenters several pages ago took that right apart.
Also, here, more food for thought: Shakespeare also wrote a fuck tonne of comedies, and even his tragedies are full of hilarious moments/characters. These plays are also incredibly beloved.
Also, here, more food for thought: Shakespeare also wrote a fuck tonne of comedies, and even his tragedies are full of hilarious moments/characters. These plays are also incredibly beloved.
Games - Tester
Games - Other
