HUDYMAN'S PROFILE

author=Liberty

author=hudyman
"In the 5th era of Terria, a simple thief recieves a powerful machine known as the T.A.R.D.I.S, from then forth, his life changes as he explores the universe battling formidable foes and gaining powerful allies.

The game features a relationship system, a FULL time travel system, the player can travel to many time eras at will, buy or create pets, create planets and many more.

Because the game is intended to be massive, the status will remain "Production", for quite some time until i feel it is finally completed. "

In the 5th era of Terria, a simple thief receives a powerful machine known as the T.A.R.D.I.S. From then on his life changes as he explores the universe, battling formidable foes and gaining powerful allies.

The game features:-
- A relationship system
- A FULL time travel system
- The ability buy or create pets
- Planet creation and much more.

Because the game is intended to be massive, the status will remain "Production" for quite some time until I feel it is finally completed.

- Received was spelt wrong
- 'Forth' sounds a bit too pretentious
- Some punctuation issues - mainly commas, capitalisation and periods
- Better to use a list for features
- " a FULL time travel system, the player can travel to many time eras at will," is basically just saying the same thing twice
- The last part is generally a given for an in-production project. You're able to switch a project to complete at any time.
- Maybe add a little more about the story itself? Does he meet any companions? What kind of person is he? We don't get much about him or the story from the description. Is there evil afoot? Remember there's a 500 letter limit, so...

Hope that helps a bit! Oh, and don't fret if a game is denied. Just fix the issue and then resubmit - not an issue~ Good luck!

Thank you so much for replying :), i have made the following changes
Do you think you could look at this before i post it and resubmit?, thanks :)

"In the 5th era of Terria, the world is on the verge of a massive world war. After the defeat on planet earth the Terrians were left with no choice but to withdraw to their original planet and be ruled by a human king who wishes to enslave all of Terria and use the planet as prison for ungodly creatures. However a small group known as the "VFT" (Vengence For Terria) plot to wage a war on the king in the hope of winning back Terria. Their plan has been perfected to the very end, they see all that happens in Terria.....
........If only that were enough.

The game features:-
- A relationship system
- A FULL time travel system
- The ability buy or create pets
- The ability to create devices
- Planet creation and much more."