LET'S WORK ON YOUR GAME DESCRIPTIONS!

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nhubi
Liberté, égalité, fraternité
11099
Maybe the exploring is to find the Beast, or whatever they need to release it? Yeah I'm lost a little on that too.

Oh and a sea wall is a thing, you could have left that description intact.xD
Main occupation of Machuka's exploring the cosmos. Participating in adventures. Which is, usually, going from one place to another, completing the dialogue section, sometimes to create soething, just wait, or eliminate an enemy. Chaos is the part of my game and I do know that that at first it'll be hard to grasp anything. We're thrown into vortex of the cosmos, we start in our native solar system, the access to the rest of cosmos is available at hand. We can venture wherever we want.
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
20691
Are we talking about generating tasks at random, or are these tasks slightly more set in location, and/or with their objectives?
I wanted to make an entry to The Golden age of Game making event but my game was denied here's the Description:
Fredrick and RTP Hero was walking with his RTP wife on plain fields...when suddenly (here it comes),A Dragon Kidnapped her for no reason and fleed to The tower of Evil
(Perfect Name...)..and so Fredrick Must go throught the Devil's Road which doesn't make sense because the Road have no relation to the devil...,And throught the Bridge of Sorrow which is Guared by the Massive Golem.that will try to throw rocks at you
because i don't know...after that fredrick reachs the Tower with 5 floors each contain an obstecale like ICE puzzles and Sokubane clone puzzle they tottaly fit in there...can fredrick save his Love..?
(*Spoiler Alert*He Will...*Grasp*)
nhubi
Liberté, égalité, fraternité
11099
My suggestion. Just because the theme is to subvert or use multiple clichés doesn't mean you should do that in the description. A couple is all you need.

Fredrick and the RTP Hero was walking with his RTP wife on plain fields across the plains when suddenly (here it comes),A a D dragon Kkidnapped her for no reason and fleed fled to Tthe tTower of Evil
(Perfect Name...)..and so Now Fredrick Mmust go throught travel along the Devil's Road (which doesn't make any sense because the Rroad have has no relation to the dDevil),...,And throught and across the Bridge of Sorrow which is Guared guarded by the Massive Golem that will try to throw rocks at you and his giant rock-hurler.
because i don't know...after that Beyond the bridge fFredrick reachs will reach the tower with 5 floors each contain an obstecale like ICE puzzles and Sokubane clone puzzle they tottaly fit in there and face five levels of pretty standard puzzles and traps.
cCan fFredrick save his Llove..?
(*Spoiler Alert* He Wwill...*Grgasp*)

That's a mess, here it is clean

Fredrick the RTP Hero was walking with his RTP wife across the plains when suddenly a dragon kidnapped her for no reason and fled to the Tower of Evil.
Now Fredrick must travel along the Devil's Road (which doesn't make any sense because the road has no relation to the Devil), and across the Bridge of Sorrow which is guarded by the Massive Golem and his giant rock-hurler.
Beyond the bridge Fredrick will reach the tower and face five levels of pretty standard puzzles and traps.
Can Fredrick save his love?
(*Spoiler Alert* He will...*gasp*)
hi everyone, it's me again. need more help. >_<
here's my game description :

STORIES OF SHEIDH - THE ANCESTORS

Latest version
Full English : 1.0 DEMO


++GAME DESCRIPTION++

A simple action-RPG, similar to such classics as Castlevania and The Legend of Zelda, with more sci-fi elements.


++STORY++

-11002- Jenesio, Elmsh Dimens.

The First Human (Elmshiodd), the only mankind exist in the universe are slaughtered by the immortal being called Grimoire. Their origin is unknown...

-11003- Deflario, Elmsh Dimens.

42 powerful Guilds are formed and allied themselves with the District Military to fight the Grimoire, they're gathering the best soldiers in all 12 Districts to be trained professionally to deal with Grimoire...

-11005- Jenesio, Elmsh Dimens.

41 Guilds are lost and in the aftermath of War of Jenesio, the mankind focus its defenses in their own Districts, hiding in fear...

After the loss of Jenesio District, the only surviving Guild, Grimoire Hunter embraces the remain Soldiers and continue their fight to find enemy's weakness and save the mankind from this absolute extinction...

++FEATURES++

6~8 HOURS OF GAMEPLAY
ACTION BATTLE SYSTEM
3 PLAYABLE CHARACTERS
4 COMPANIONS
CATALYST SYSTEM
CRAFTING
UPGRADE WEAPONS, ARMORS, AND BOOSTERS

and mores.

a simple/classic one, still, i made a lot of mistakes in grammar. :(
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
20691
With your story, may I suggest something more like...

-11002- Jenesio, Elmsh Dimens.
Mankind finds itself being slaughtered by a being called Grimoire. Were it came from, or why it's doing this, are not known.

-11003- Deflario, Elmsh Dimens.

42 powerful guilds are formed, allying themselves with the district military to fight Grimoire. The best soldiers in all 12 districts to be trained professionally to deal with the threat.

-11005- Jenesio, Elmsh Dimens.

All but one guild are lost and in the aftermath of the War of Jenesio. The remnants of mankind focus its defenses in their own districts, hiding in fear. As for the only surviving guild, Grimoire Hunter, it yet embraces volunteers to continue the fight to find Grimoire's weakness and save mankind from absolute extinction.


...this?
author=Marrend
With your story, may I suggest something more like...

-11002- Jenesio, Elmsh Dimens.
Mankind finds itself being slaughtered by a being called Grimoire. Were it came from, or why it's doing this, are not known.

-11003- Deflario, Elmsh Dimens.

42 powerful guilds are formed, allying themselves with the district military to fight Grimoire. The best soldiers in all 12 districts to be trained professionally to deal with the threat.

-11005- Jenesio, Elmsh Dimens.

All but one guild are lost and in the aftermath of the War of Jenesio. The remnants of mankind focus its defenses in their own districts, hiding in fear. As for the only surviving guild, Grimoire Hunter, it yet embraces volunteers to continue the fight to find Grimoire's weakness and save mankind from absolute extinction.

...this?

i love it. :)
can i use it? it's far better than mine.
My game was denied,can anyone help me? '-'



Mary is a game of mystery that's you need to completely understand the history to procced in the game,asking for people to answers,and explore each size of the scenario to find the right way for your goal...

The game "Mary..." says the story of two girls called Anny and Mary that is orphans,and a day Anny lost Mary of her eyes....
So the game begins,you in a forest alone before have nap searching for Mary...



The game is in portuguese,however,i already have an english version,but of the 1st version of the game,that is,like,3%. So i will dont upload,wait for him in the newest version <3



The game have the normal system of battle from RPG Maker XP default



In this version the game only have 25 maps.
However,the game will have much more in the final version.
The game still on 7% =P



This is my first ever created game ( in all engines! ) And you see,my english ins't the best...



I doesn't know the release date of the final version ( or final updates )
But everyday i wiil work in the game...



Thanks if you will play the game <3

Download link : Your text to link here...

Arttoon Productions

Okay,i know i doesn't say too much of the game because everything is a MYSTERY....
unity
You're magical to me.
12403
author=ArttoonGirl
Mary is a game of mystery that's you need to completely understand the history to procced in the game,asking for people to answers,and explore each size of the scenario to find the right way for your goal...

The game "Mary..." says the story of two girls called Anny and Mary that is orphans,and a day Anny lost Mary of her eyes....
So the game begins,you in a forest alone before have nap searching for Mary...



The game is in portuguese,however,i already have an english version,but of the 1st version of the game,that is,like,3%. So i will dont upload,wait for him in the newest version <3



The game have the normal system of battle from RPG Maker XP default



In this version the game only have 25 maps.
However,the game will have much more in the final version.
The game still on 7% =P



This is my first ever created game ( in all engines! ) And you see,my english ins't the best...



I doesn't know the release date of the final version ( or final updates )
But everyday i wiil work in the game...



Thanks if you will play the game <3

Download link : Your text to link here...

Arttoon Productions

Okay,i know i doesn't say too much of the game because everything is a MYSTERY....

Perhaps something like this?

***

Mary is a game of mystery. You'll need to completely understand the surrounding history to proceed in the game. Ask people for clues and answers, and explore each side of the scenario to find the path forward to achieve your goal.

This game tells the story of two girls, Anny and Mary. They are both orphans. One day Anny lost both of her eyes...

The game begins with you in a forest, alone. After a nap, you must search for Mary.

The game is in Portuguese, however, an English version of the game is in-progress, but is only 3% complete. So please wait for the newest version <3

The game uses the standard battle system from RPG Maker XP.

The current version only has 25 maps, but this is just the beginning, and the final version will have many more.

I'm 7% done at this point =P

This is my first game ever created (in any engine). Also, please excuse me, as my English isn't the best.

I don't know the release date for the final version (or updates) but I will work on the game everyday.

Thanks for giving the game a try!
Very thankssssssssssssssss.................
But in the part that is written :

"The game is in portuguese,however,an English version of the game is in-progress,but is only 3% complete"
I doesn't mean that, the GAME was 3% complete auashu

But very thanks <3
unity
You're magical to me.
12403
You're welcome! ^_^

What was only 3% complete, then? I can rewrite that sentence if you need me to.
Doesn't need,ive just rewritten alone;

The 3% was the game in the first version,that the name isn't yet Mary... was Project2 : Rescue

Now it's time to wait if the game will "approve"
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
20691
@cradth: Go for it!

@ArttoonGirl: I should probably also wait for clarification on the statement, but, I'm almost sure that it's the translation of what exists that's 3% done, as it's said elsewhere that the game itself is 7% done? So, the best way to say something like that might be something along the lines of "The game is about 7% done, and written in Portuguese. An English translation is in the works, and that is about 3% done."

Or something like that?
@Marrend

thanks a lot, mate. :)
resubmitted, hope it works this time.
I Hate English -_- The game has been denied AGAIN because of the DESCRIPTION

GYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
20691
@ArttoonGirl: Did you go with unity's suggestion, or something else entirely?