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1st archived artistic content creation thread. For the active thread, click here.
Posts 
Dozen
697
Dozen
View playlists
CloseI have no say in how Shoko should act, but on the topic of the prologue I inquire: How did Yoko stop Mayu from burning her and her lab into smitherines if she doesn't know the Uchioniko can do shit like that? Her equipment and clothes could be fireproof, but her skin probably isn't.
I recall what Masako said when it is suggested that Mayu's homework was eaten by Fran:
So, it sounds like Yoko could be screwed if she messes with Mayu. Though, I dunno, maybe that's why Yoko wants to do the experiment? To see the extent of damage that Mayu could do?
Never mind my ramblings. My mind is whirling with all kinds of things right now.
Have you not seen the nurse's office? It is utterly strewn with injured students, thanks to the amount of rage unleashed.
So, it sounds like Yoko could be screwed if she messes with Mayu. Though, I dunno, maybe that's why Yoko wants to do the experiment? To see the extent of damage that Mayu could do?
Never mind my ramblings. My mind is whirling with all kinds of things right now.
triad2
0
sorry I don't think I phrased that right, because you guys are all thinking further down the road than I am. Let me start with the evidence for and against yoko then setup the scenario.
Against
1 yoko has done a similar experiments
2 she was spotted laughing in the vicinity
3 she talked about having done an experiment at about the time this prank or experiment was perpetrated. Yet there has not been any evidence of anything else out of the ordinary happening.
4 no one saw who set it up which fits Yokos mo.
For
1 she actually considers shoko a friend and might not want to hurt mayu because it would affect said friendship
2 this experiment is a little bit crueller than any she has done before
3 it reeks of vengeance but yoko has no reason for revenge
now for the scenario: the event happened less than 10 minutes ago. Mayu is still being questioned about what happened. Shoko doesn't think it was Yoko but so far the teachers are positive and keep bringing up her name and description.
also I will quickly prove her guilt or innocence so that there wont be any rift between the four.
Edit so in short given this information would ruri side with shoko and defend yoko or side with the teachers and blame yoko?
Against
1 yoko has done a similar experiments
2 she was spotted laughing in the vicinity
3 she talked about having done an experiment at about the time this prank or experiment was perpetrated. Yet there has not been any evidence of anything else out of the ordinary happening.
4 no one saw who set it up which fits Yokos mo.
For
1 she actually considers shoko a friend and might not want to hurt mayu because it would affect said friendship
2 this experiment is a little bit crueller than any she has done before
3 it reeks of vengeance but yoko has no reason for revenge
now for the scenario: the event happened less than 10 minutes ago. Mayu is still being questioned about what happened. Shoko doesn't think it was Yoko but so far the teachers are positive and keep bringing up her name and description.
also I will quickly prove her guilt or innocence so that there wont be any rift between the four.
Edit so in short given this information would ruri side with shoko and defend yoko or side with the teachers and blame yoko?
Since it's not supposed to be clear that Yoko is guilty, Ruri would first ask Shoko if she believes if Yoko is innocent of any wrongdoing. If Shoko indicates "Yes", she will probably think that Yoko is clear. If it's proved later on that Yoko was the perpetrator, she would feel more than a little betrayed, and ask Shoko why she was protecting someone who hurt Mayu. I'm not sure what the answer would be, since this friendship between Shoko and Yoko isn't something I had planned for Shoko.
Alternately, if it's proved that the perpetrator of the prank wasn't Yoko, we're in Happyville. Ruri remains friends with Shoko, as she did the right thing by sticking up for an incorrectly prosecuted individual. Being the kind of person who assumes people are her friends, at least until they prove otherwise, Ruri basically considers Yoko a friend.
Alternately, if it's proved that the perpetrator of the prank wasn't Yoko, we're in Happyville. Ruri remains friends with Shoko, as she did the right thing by sticking up for an incorrectly prosecuted individual. Being the kind of person who assumes people are her friends, at least until they prove otherwise, Ruri basically considers Yoko a friend.
triad2
0
Here is the story for ruri and yoko for your consideration marrend
PS after reading this you can pretty much tell if yoko did it or not so SPOILER ALERT
PS after reading this you can pretty much tell if yoko did it or not so SPOILER ALERT
STORY 14
CONDITION = 6 DONE
PLACE = Roof
ID = 26
SHOW CENTER
ID = 0
Is it a rule that you only do one experiment a day?
ID = 26
Yes it's easier to collect, process, and file the data I get from my experiments that way.
ID = 11
SHOW LEFT
Are you Yoko by any chance?
ID = 26
That I am. What can I do for a sweetie like you?
ID = 11
One of my friends was viciously attacked!
ID = 26
I'm sorry to hear, that but I don't see what that has to do with me.
ID = 0
Yoko that's pretty harsh of you. Couldn't you put it a nicer way?
ID = 11
The teachers' are saying you did it, but my friend Shoko says you wouldn't do that.
ID = 26
Shoko was attacked?!
ID = 11
No not Shoko, Mayu.
ID = 26
Who's Mayu?
ID = 0
Calm down and tell me everything starting from right before this attack to now.
ID = 11
All four of us were eating getting ready to eat lunch when I noticed a really stinky smell coming from Mayu's lunch.
ID = 26
Who are all four of you?
ID = 11
Mayu, Izumi, Shoko and me. When Mayu opened her lunchbox it was full of rotten food from the garbage.
ID = 0
How can you tell it was from the garbage someone may have put it in the sun?
ID = 11
It had old banana peels, chewed gum, a half eaten moldy sandwich, and a piece of pizza with a footprint in there.
ID = 26
Yep sounds like garbage to me. Why do the teachers think I did it?
ID = 11
They say that you were spotted laughing and talking about experimenting in that area. Plus they say you never leave enough evidence to prove it's you.
ID = 26
Shoko is right I didn't do it and I would like your help proving that it wasn't me before this causes trouble for her or you.
ID = 11
Really?! Can I trust you though?
ID = 0
Yoko may do mean things to some people but that's not her style that seems like revenge or bullying.
ID = 26
Thanks for the vote of confidence honey remind me to show you how mean I can get later.
ID = 0
That's my cue to go someplace safe for now.
CONDITION = 6 DONE
PLACE = Roof
ID = 26
SHOW CENTER
ID = 0
Is it a rule that you only do one experiment a day?
ID = 26
Yes it's easier to collect, process, and file the data I get from my experiments that way.
ID = 11
SHOW LEFT
Are you Yoko by any chance?
ID = 26
That I am. What can I do for a sweetie like you?
ID = 11
One of my friends was viciously attacked!
ID = 26
I'm sorry to hear, that but I don't see what that has to do with me.
ID = 0
Yoko that's pretty harsh of you. Couldn't you put it a nicer way?
ID = 11
The teachers' are saying you did it, but my friend Shoko says you wouldn't do that.
ID = 26
Shoko was attacked?!
ID = 11
No not Shoko, Mayu.
ID = 26
Who's Mayu?
ID = 0
Calm down and tell me everything starting from right before this attack to now.
ID = 11
All four of us were eating getting ready to eat lunch when I noticed a really stinky smell coming from Mayu's lunch.
ID = 26
Who are all four of you?
ID = 11
Mayu, Izumi, Shoko and me. When Mayu opened her lunchbox it was full of rotten food from the garbage.
ID = 0
How can you tell it was from the garbage someone may have put it in the sun?
ID = 11
It had old banana peels, chewed gum, a half eaten moldy sandwich, and a piece of pizza with a footprint in there.
ID = 26
Yep sounds like garbage to me. Why do the teachers think I did it?
ID = 11
They say that you were spotted laughing and talking about experimenting in that area. Plus they say you never leave enough evidence to prove it's you.
ID = 26
Shoko is right I didn't do it and I would like your help proving that it wasn't me before this causes trouble for her or you.
ID = 11
Really?! Can I trust you though?
ID = 0
Yoko may do mean things to some people but that's not her style that seems like revenge or bullying.
ID = 26
Thanks for the vote of confidence honey remind me to show you how mean I can get later.
ID = 0
That's my cue to go someplace safe for now.
My senses are telling me that Yoko was responsible for this incident. I'm no Masako, though, so I can be proven wrong. Anyway, if it's true, Shoko might be protecting Yoko out of cowardice:
Though, if Yoko is targeting Mayu, would Shoko think that this "understanding" has already been reconsidered? Would she have the wherewithal to think that? Or would she be more impulsive, and hope that protecting herself through protecting Yoko was the best move? It's a hard question to answer.
author=Marrend
If there is an "understanding" between Yoko and Shoko, she might think that protecting Mayu might cause Yoko to re-consider this "understanding". In other words, Shoko might become viable target for Yoko's "experiments". Which would very probably place Shoko in exceptionally embarrassing situations.
Though, if Yoko is targeting Mayu, would Shoko think that this "understanding" has already been reconsidered? Would she have the wherewithal to think that? Or would she be more impulsive, and hope that protecting herself through protecting Yoko was the best move? It's a hard question to answer.
Dozen
697
author=Marrend
My senses are telling me that Yoko was responsible for this incident. I'm no Masako, though, so I can be proven wrong. Anyway, if it's true, Shoko might be protecting Yoko out of cowardice.
:sigh: Marrend, you're not reading again. Let me highlight:
author=Triad
PS after reading this you can pretty much tell if yoko did it or not so SPOILER ALERT
They say that you were spotted laughing and talking about experimenting in that area. Plus they say you never leave enough evidence to prove it's you.
ID = 26
Shoko is right I didn't do it and I would like your help proving that it wasn't me before this causes trouble for her or you.
Really?! Can I trust you though?
ID = 0
Yoko may do mean things to some people but that's not her style that seems like revenge or bullying.
Also, Triad, if I may. I'm thinking the story would sound better if Yoko would ramble about how garbage jokes are above her refined style and staggering intellect, with an obligatory "Do you seriously think" sequence, maybe along a Reason You Suck Speech, and have the player confirm it while everyone in the area is pants-shittingly scared. Classic^^
triad2
0
SPOILER ALERT: Contains the ending of the garbage pail lunchbox case and a few dozen inspired changes to the beginning of said case.
STORY 14
CONDITION = 6 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
ID = 26
SHOW CENTER
ID = 0
Is it a rule that you only do one experiment a day?
ID = 26
Yes it's easier to collect, process, and file the data I get from my experiments that way.
ID = 11
SHOW LEFT
UNFRIENDLY
Are you Yoko by any chance?
ID = 26
That I am. What can I do for a sweetie like you?
ID = 11
One of my friends was viciously attacked!
ID = 26
I'm sorry to hear, that but I don't see what that has to do with me.
ID = 0
Yoko that's pretty harsh of you. Couldn't you put it a nicer way?
ID = 11
The teachers' are saying you did it, but my friend Shoko says you wouldn't do that.
ID = 26
Shoko was attacked?!
ID = 11
No not Shoko, Mayu.
ID = 26
Who's Mayu?
ID = 0
Calm down and tell me everything starting from right before this attack to now.
ID = 11
All four of us were eating getting ready to eat lunch when I noticed a really stinky smell coming from Mayu's lunch.
ID = 26
Who are all four of you?
ID = 11
Mayu, Izumi, Shoko and me. When Mayu opened her lunchbox it was full of rotten food from the garbage.
ID = 0
How can you tell it was from the garbage someone may have put it in the sun?
ID = 11
It had old banana peels, chewed gum, a half eaten moldy sandwich, and a piece of pizza with a footprint in there.
ID = 26
Yep sounds like garbage to me. Why do the teachers think I did it?
ID = 11
They say that you were spotted laughing and talking about experimenting in that area. Plus they say you never leave enough evidence to prove it's you.
ID = 26
Shoko is right I didn't do it and I would like your help proving that it wasn't me before this causes trouble for her or you.
ID = 11
Really?! Can I trust you though?
ID = 26
I have no reason to experiment on someone I have never met or even heard of before most of my experiments are on how people handle things outside their realm of normal perception. If I don't know what is within their perspective normal any data would be useless to me.
ID = 11
What did you mean by trouble for her and me?
ID = 26
I like Shoko, if she defends me and the teachers convince Mayu that I am responsible it may cause Shoko to get hurt. If that were to happen HEAVEN HELP THE PERSON WHO CAUSED IT BECAUSE I WOULD BRING DOWN THE FULL WEIGHT OF MY INTELLIGENCE UPON THEIR LIFELESS BODIES.
ID = 0
(Wow everyone cleared out in a hurry. I can't blame them, that last part scared even me.)
Ruri trust me when I say this it's better to settle this before that happens.
ID = 11
I heard from the teachers that you have done some pretty mean things in the name of your experiments.
ID = 0
Yoko may do mean things to some people, but putting garbage in a lunch box isn't her style, that seems like revenge or bullying.
ID = 26
Thanks for the vote of confidence honey remind me to show you how mean I can get later.
ID = 0
That's my cue to go someplace safe for now.
STORY 15
CONDITION = 14 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
PRIORITY = HIGH
ID = Girl A
Did you see those boys hanging upside down in girl uniforms?
ID = Girl B
Yeah, what was with the "spank me please" underwear?
ID = 0
(I have a really, really bad feeling that I know who's behind this.)
ID = Girl A
I have no idea but the cricket bats were a nice touch.
ID = 0
Excuse me but can you tell me if a girl with red and black hair was involved?
ID = Girl B
I didn't see any girls with red or black hair sorry.
ID = 0
I meant on girl with red hair on one side and black on the other.
ID = Girl A
You mean you think Yoko was involved?
ID = 0
So you didn't see her?
ID = Girl B
No sorry.
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
SHOW LEFT
ID = 14
SHOW CENTER
LIKE
I'm glad the teachers held us for questioning. That is the funniest thing I have ever seen.
ID = 12
DISLIKE
Well you still haven't seen what I'm going to do to them.
ID = 26
SHOW RIGHT
Mayu are we ok now?
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
Yeah with the evidence Ruri gave me it was clear you didn't have anything to do with what they did.
ID = 14
They must have really upset you to go that far.
ID = 26
No not really I just wanted to judge their reactions to my latest inventions.
ID = 0
Then I would hate to see what you would have done if they would have hurt Shoko.
ID = 26
THERE ISN'T A PLACE FAR ENOUGH FOR THEM TO HAVE RUN IF THEY WOULD HAVE DONE THAT!!!
ID = 12
Shoko is fine calm down. We could make a good team Yoko.
ID = 26
No thank you. I just want you to know that as long as you are friends with Shoko, I won't experiment on you without prior consent, and you will have all available knowledge prior to said experiment.
ID = 14
Thanks but you really shouldn't experiment on your friends especially if you consider what you did to those boys an experiment.
ID = 26
I don't experiment on my friend.
ID = 0
(Did she say friend singular on purpose?)
ID = 12
DISLIKE
Are you saying you don't think we are friends?
ID = 26
I have to go now bye to you two, and a special good bye to my honey. MUAH!
ERASE RIGHT
ID = 14
She's a curious girl.
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
Well at least everything is settled now.
I thought about having Yoko say something like those morons shouldn't have framed me they don't even register on the same graph as me but that sounds too boastful for her
CONDITION = 6 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
ID = 26
SHOW CENTER
ID = 0
Is it a rule that you only do one experiment a day?
ID = 26
Yes it's easier to collect, process, and file the data I get from my experiments that way.
ID = 11
SHOW LEFT
UNFRIENDLY
Are you Yoko by any chance?
ID = 26
That I am. What can I do for a sweetie like you?
ID = 11
One of my friends was viciously attacked!
ID = 26
I'm sorry to hear, that but I don't see what that has to do with me.
ID = 0
Yoko that's pretty harsh of you. Couldn't you put it a nicer way?
ID = 11
The teachers' are saying you did it, but my friend Shoko says you wouldn't do that.
ID = 26
Shoko was attacked?!
ID = 11
No not Shoko, Mayu.
ID = 26
Who's Mayu?
ID = 0
Calm down and tell me everything starting from right before this attack to now.
ID = 11
All four of us were eating getting ready to eat lunch when I noticed a really stinky smell coming from Mayu's lunch.
ID = 26
Who are all four of you?
ID = 11
Mayu, Izumi, Shoko and me. When Mayu opened her lunchbox it was full of rotten food from the garbage.
ID = 0
How can you tell it was from the garbage someone may have put it in the sun?
ID = 11
It had old banana peels, chewed gum, a half eaten moldy sandwich, and a piece of pizza with a footprint in there.
ID = 26
Yep sounds like garbage to me. Why do the teachers think I did it?
ID = 11
They say that you were spotted laughing and talking about experimenting in that area. Plus they say you never leave enough evidence to prove it's you.
ID = 26
Shoko is right I didn't do it and I would like your help proving that it wasn't me before this causes trouble for her or you.
ID = 11
Really?! Can I trust you though?
ID = 26
I have no reason to experiment on someone I have never met or even heard of before most of my experiments are on how people handle things outside their realm of normal perception. If I don't know what is within their perspective normal any data would be useless to me.
ID = 11
What did you mean by trouble for her and me?
ID = 26
I like Shoko, if she defends me and the teachers convince Mayu that I am responsible it may cause Shoko to get hurt. If that were to happen HEAVEN HELP THE PERSON WHO CAUSED IT BECAUSE I WOULD BRING DOWN THE FULL WEIGHT OF MY INTELLIGENCE UPON THEIR LIFELESS BODIES.
ID = 0
(Wow everyone cleared out in a hurry. I can't blame them, that last part scared even me.)
Ruri trust me when I say this it's better to settle this before that happens.
ID = 11
I heard from the teachers that you have done some pretty mean things in the name of your experiments.
ID = 0
Yoko may do mean things to some people, but putting garbage in a lunch box isn't her style, that seems like revenge or bullying.
ID = 26
Thanks for the vote of confidence honey remind me to show you how mean I can get later.
ID = 0
That's my cue to go someplace safe for now.
STORY 15
CONDITION = 14 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
PRIORITY = HIGH
ID = Girl A
Did you see those boys hanging upside down in girl uniforms?
ID = Girl B
Yeah, what was with the "spank me please" underwear?
ID = 0
(I have a really, really bad feeling that I know who's behind this.)
ID = Girl A
I have no idea but the cricket bats were a nice touch.
ID = 0
Excuse me but can you tell me if a girl with red and black hair was involved?
ID = Girl B
I didn't see any girls with red or black hair sorry.
ID = 0
I meant on girl with red hair on one side and black on the other.
ID = Girl A
You mean you think Yoko was involved?
ID = 0
So you didn't see her?
ID = Girl B
No sorry.
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
SHOW LEFT
ID = 14
SHOW CENTER
LIKE
I'm glad the teachers held us for questioning. That is the funniest thing I have ever seen.
ID = 12
DISLIKE
Well you still haven't seen what I'm going to do to them.
ID = 26
SHOW RIGHT
Mayu are we ok now?
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
Yeah with the evidence Ruri gave me it was clear you didn't have anything to do with what they did.
ID = 14
They must have really upset you to go that far.
ID = 26
No not really I just wanted to judge their reactions to my latest inventions.
ID = 0
Then I would hate to see what you would have done if they would have hurt Shoko.
ID = 26
THERE ISN'T A PLACE FAR ENOUGH FOR THEM TO HAVE RUN IF THEY WOULD HAVE DONE THAT!!!
ID = 12
Shoko is fine calm down. We could make a good team Yoko.
ID = 26
No thank you. I just want you to know that as long as you are friends with Shoko, I won't experiment on you without prior consent, and you will have all available knowledge prior to said experiment.
ID = 14
Thanks but you really shouldn't experiment on your friends especially if you consider what you did to those boys an experiment.
ID = 26
I don't experiment on my friend.
ID = 0
(Did she say friend singular on purpose?)
ID = 12
DISLIKE
Are you saying you don't think we are friends?
ID = 26
I have to go now bye to you two, and a special good bye to my honey. MUAH!
ERASE RIGHT
ID = 14
She's a curious girl.
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
Well at least everything is settled now.
I thought about having Yoko say something like those morons shouldn't have framed me they don't even register on the same graph as me but that sounds too boastful for her
Dozen
697
Hilarity ho!:) But something... bugs me. About Mayu.
Witchery!
author=Mayu... She sounds nothing like that.
Yeah with the evidence Ruri gave me it was clear you didn't have anything to do with what they did.
author=MayuOh my gods. This...this is some kind of alternate universe, isn't it?^^' Of course it is! Heh. Hehehe. It has to be. This isn't ri-
Shoko is fine calm down. We could make a good team Yoko.
author=MayuHaha- HAAHAHA-HA! The heart of darkness cannot be unseen!
Are you saying you don't think we are friends?
author=Mayu*Head implodes*
Well at least everything is settled now.
Witchery!
I'm a little confused who's behind STORY 15. Maybe my reading is off again, but it sounds like Mayu and Yoko did that. For some reason, I'm thinking that if the lunchbox thing wasn't Yoko, I don't think that should be either. Then again, I haven't been paying too much attention to the details involved in what kinds of pranks Yoko does to begin with, so I could very well be wrong on all counts.
Quick question, though: Where's Masako when this is all happening? It seems to me that she would want to put a stop to these things.
*Edit: Well, I can't speak for Yoko, but if Mayu was supposed to be behind STORY 15, that's not like her at all. She'd just kick their butts. So, it's definitely becoming less and less likely, at least to me, that Mayu was involved there.
Edit2: With STORY 14, Ruri asks if she can trust Yoko's word that she didn't to the lunchbox thing. This is very probably what's throwing me off with that story. Ruri's a pretty trusting girl, so when I saw that she asked that, it threw down some red flags.
Quick question, though: Where's Masako when this is all happening? It seems to me that she would want to put a stop to these things.
*Edit: Well, I can't speak for Yoko, but if Mayu was supposed to be behind STORY 15, that's not like her at all. She'd just kick their butts. So, it's definitely becoming less and less likely, at least to me, that Mayu was involved there.
Edit2: With STORY 14, Ruri asks if she can trust Yoko's word that she didn't to the lunchbox thing. This is very probably what's throwing me off with that story. Ruri's a pretty trusting girl, so when I saw that she asked that, it threw down some red flags.
Dozen
697
Marrend! Gods! If I didn't know what you're referring to, I'd think you're talking about something totally unrelated.
Let me sum it up for you:
1. Someone(not Yoko) puts garbage into Mayu's food.
2. Mayu uses Rage. It's super effective.
3. The teachers hear Yoko gloating(about something else) and assume it was her.
4. Teachers tell that to Mayu.
5. Mayu tells Ruri.
6. Ruri tells Shoko.
7. Shoko "tells" Ruri that Yoko wouldn't do put garbage into Mayu's food.
8. Ruri confronts Yoko.
9. Yoko uses Rage(super effective). Both her and the Player second Shoko.
10. Ruri tells the news to Mayu and Shoko.
11. Mayu believes, so neither Yoko or Mayu kill anyone. Thus
+1 Everything is sugar hearts and flowers!
Ya know, we're turning this forum into a comedy show. I bring inappropriate drama, what Triad has to explain, I can't read Triad's hick, what Marrend has to explain, and Marrend can't decipher long texts, what I have to explain. It's a fucking translation circle-jerk.
Let me sum it up for you:
1. Someone(not Yoko) puts garbage into Mayu's food.
2. Mayu uses Rage. It's super effective.
3. The teachers hear Yoko gloating(about something else) and assume it was her.
4. Teachers tell that to Mayu.
5. Mayu tells Ruri.
6. Ruri tells Shoko.
7. Shoko "tells" Ruri that Yoko wouldn't do put garbage into Mayu's food.
8. Ruri confronts Yoko.
9. Yoko uses Rage(super effective). Both her and the Player second Shoko.
10. Ruri tells the news to Mayu and Shoko.
11. Mayu believes, so neither Yoko or Mayu kill anyone. Thus
+1 Everything is sugar hearts and flowers!
Ya know, we're turning this forum into a comedy show. I bring inappropriate drama, what Triad has to explain, I can't read Triad's hick, what Marrend has to explain, and Marrend can't decipher long texts, what I have to explain. It's a fucking translation circle-jerk.
triad2
0
First thank you dozen, you caught a few numbering mistakes of mine some of those lines were supposed to be izumi's. I will rewrite the others so they sound more like mayu. Secondly I will put in a line that states more clearly why the boys were subject of such a harsh experiment, and what part ruri played in said experiment.
Lastly no mayu hasn't had her revenge on the boys yet nor does she think that they have had enough of a punnishment, and thank you dozen for the rundown. i will edit this posts with the revisions once done.
EDIT: I was kind of half asleep when i wrote the first draft sorry
Lastly no mayu hasn't had her revenge on the boys yet nor does she think that they have had enough of a punnishment, and thank you dozen for the rundown. i will edit this posts with the revisions once done.
EDIT:
ID = 26
Shoko is right I didn't do it and I would like your help proving that it wasn't me before this causes trouble for her or you.
ID = 11
Really?! I believe you but mayu won't be so easily convinced, she's ready to go on a rampage.
ID = 14
SHOW CENTER
LIKE
I'm glad the teachers held us for questioning. That is the funniest thing I have ever seen.
ID = 12
DISLIKE
Well you still haven't seen what I'm going to do to them. I won't let them off so easily, because of them I had to go buy my lunch.
ID = 26
SHOW RIGHT
Mayu are we ok now?
ID = 14
NEUTRAL
Yeah with the evidence Ruri gave us it was clear you didn't have anything to do with what they did.
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
They must have really upset you to go that far, not that I don't plan to go further.
ID = 26
No not really I just wanted to judge their reactions to my latest inventions, besides the underwear was ruri's idea.
ID = 26
THERE ISN'T A PLACE FAR ENOUGH FOR THEM TO HAVE RUN IF THEY WOULD HAVE DONE THAT!!!
ID = 12
Do I sound like that when I go off? We could make a good team Yoko, your brains and my brawn we could conquer the world.
ID = 26
No thank you. I just want you to know that as long as you are friends with Shoko, I won't experiment on you without prior consent, and you will have all available knowledge prior to said experiment.
ID = 14
LIKE
Thanks but you really shouldn't experiment on your friends especially if you consider what you did to those boys an experiment.
ID = 26
I don't experiment on my friend.
ID = 12
She's a strange girl.
ID = 14
NEUTRAL
Well at least everything is settled now.
Shoko is right I didn't do it and I would like your help proving that it wasn't me before this causes trouble for her or you.
ID = 11
Really?! I believe you but mayu won't be so easily convinced, she's ready to go on a rampage.
ID = 14
SHOW CENTER
LIKE
I'm glad the teachers held us for questioning. That is the funniest thing I have ever seen.
ID = 12
DISLIKE
Well you still haven't seen what I'm going to do to them. I won't let them off so easily, because of them I had to go buy my lunch.
ID = 26
SHOW RIGHT
Mayu are we ok now?
ID = 14
NEUTRAL
Yeah with the evidence Ruri gave us it was clear you didn't have anything to do with what they did.
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
They must have really upset you to go that far, not that I don't plan to go further.
ID = 26
No not really I just wanted to judge their reactions to my latest inventions, besides the underwear was ruri's idea.
ID = 26
THERE ISN'T A PLACE FAR ENOUGH FOR THEM TO HAVE RUN IF THEY WOULD HAVE DONE THAT!!!
ID = 12
Do I sound like that when I go off? We could make a good team Yoko, your brains and my brawn we could conquer the world.
ID = 26
No thank you. I just want you to know that as long as you are friends with Shoko, I won't experiment on you without prior consent, and you will have all available knowledge prior to said experiment.
ID = 14
LIKE
Thanks but you really shouldn't experiment on your friends especially if you consider what you did to those boys an experiment.
ID = 26
I don't experiment on my friend.
ID = 12
She's a strange girl.
ID = 14
NEUTRAL
Well at least everything is settled now.
Dozen
697
Thanks for the praise, I needed that.
Seriously, guys, I know the amount of shame I feel when messing up works against me, but no self-critique isn't getting you anywhere, either.
author=TriadAnd this time you had been sleepwalking. 4 out of 4 of the lines I mentioned are literally the same. -.-
I was kind of half asleep when i wrote the first draft sorry
Seriously, guys, I know the amount of shame I feel when messing up works against me, but no self-critique isn't getting you anywhere, either.
triad2
0
most have been changed to izumi's lines like i meant em to be, i think anyway, maybe i did mess up again i will have to play test it later
Dozen
697
author=triad2Ah, so I see you switched the ID. Exquisite, but now 1. the other lines still sound nothing like Mayu(where's the agressiveness? The profanity? The style?) and 2. the player calls Izumi Mayu.
most have been changed to izumi's lines like i meant em to be, i think anyway, maybe i did mess up again i will have to play test it later
triad2
0
here are both stories after running them through test mode i hope you find Mayu more mayu now.
STORY 14
CONDITION = 6 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
ID = 26
SHOW CENTER
ID = 0
Do you only do one experiment a day?
ID = 26
Yes it's easier to collect, process, and file the data I get from my experiments that way.
ID = 11
SHOW LEFT
UNFRIENDLY
Are you Yoko by any chance?
ID = 26
That I am. What can I do for a sweetie like you?
ID = 11
One of my friends was viciously attacked!
ID = 26
I'm sorry to hear, that but I don't see what that has to do with me.
ID = 0
Yoko that's pretty harsh of you. Couldn't you be nicer about it?
ID = 11
The teachers' are saying you did it, but my friend Shoko says you wouldn't do that.
ID = 26
Shoko was attacked?!
ID = 11
Not Shoko, Mayu.
ID = 26
Who's Mayu?
ID = 0
Calm down and tell me everything starting from just before this attack til now.
ID = 11
All four of us were getting ready to eat lunch when I noticed a really stinky smell coming from Mayu's lunch.
ID = 26
Who are all four of you?
ID = 11
Mayu, Izumi, Shoko and me. When Mayu opened her lunchbox it was full of rotten food from the garbage.
ID = 0
How can you tell it was from the garbage someone may have put it in the sun?
ID = 11
It had old banana peels, chewed gum, a half eaten moldy sandwich, and a piece of pizza with a footprint in there.
ID = 26
Yep sounds like garbage to me. Why do the teachers think I did it?
ID = 11
They say that you were spotted laughing and talking about experimenting in that area. Plus they say you never leave enough evidence to prove it's you.
ID = 26
Shoko's right please help me prove my innocence so that neither of you get hurt in the fallout.
ID = 11
Really?! I believe you but Mayu won't be so easily convinced, she's ready to go on a rampage.
ID = 26
Then we have to prove my innocence quickly. I have no reason to experiment on someone I have never met or even heard of before most of my experiments are on how people handle things outside their realm of normal perception. If I don't know how they would react under normal situations any data gathered would be useless to me.
ID = 11
What did you mean by fallout?
ID = 26
I like Shoko, if she defends me and the teachers convince Mayu that I am responsible it may cause Shoko to get hurt. If that were to happen
HEAVEN HELP THE PERSON WHO CAUSED IT BECAUSE I WOULD BRING DOWN THE FULL WEIGHT OF MY INTELLECT UPON THEIR LIFELESS BODIES.
ID = 0
(Wow everyone cleared out in a hurry. Not that I can blame them, that last part scared even me.)
Ruri trust me when I say this it's better to settle this before that happens.
ID = 11
The teachers were saying that you have done some pretty mean things in the name of your experiments.
ID = 0
Yoko may do mean things to some people, but putting garbage in a lunch box isn't her style, that seems like revenge or bullying.
ID = 26
Thanks for the vote of confidence honey remind me to show you how mean I can get later.
ID = 0
That's my cue to go someplace safe for now.
STORY 15
CONDITION = 14 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
PRIORITY = HIGH
ID = Girl A
Did you see those boys hanging upside down in girl uniforms?
ID = Girl B
Yeah, what was with the "spank me please" underwear?
ID = 0
(I have a really, really bad feeling that I know who's behind this.)
ID = Girl A
I have no idea but the cricket bats were a nice touch.
ID = 0
Excuse me but can you tell me if a girl with red and black hair was involved?
ID = Girl B
I didn't see any girls with red or black hair sorry.
ID = 0
I meant one girl with red hair on one side and black on the other.
ID = Girl A
You mean you think Yoko was involved?
ID = 0
So you didn't see her?
ID = Girl B
No sorry.
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
SHOW LEFT
ID = 14
SHOW CENTER
LIKE
I'm glad the teachers held us for questioning. That is the funniest thing I have ever seen.
ID = 12
DISLIKE
You haven't seen anything yet. I won't let them off so easily, because of them I had to buy my lunch.
ID = 26
SHOW RIGHT
Mayu are we ok now?
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
How could we not be?! Did you see that wave of humiliation you caused?!
ID = 14
NEUTRAL
Yeah with the evidence Ruri gave us it was clear you didn't have anything to do with what they did.
ID = 12
UNFRIENDLY
They must have really upset you to go that far, not that I don't plan to go further.
ID = 26
No not really I just wanted to judge their reactions to my latest inventions, besides the underwear was Ruri idea.
ID = 0
Then I would hate to see what you would have done if they would have hurt Shoko.
ID = 26
THERE ISN'T A PLACE FAR ENOUGH FOR THEM TO HAVE RUN IF THEY WOULD HAVE DONE THAT!!!
ID = 12
Do I sound like that when I go off? We could make a good team Yoko. With your brains and my brawn we could conquer the world.
ID = 0
No usually you just leave a trail of broken and limp bodies in your wake.
ID = 26
No thank you. I just want you to know that as long as both of you are friends with Shoko, I won't experiment on you without prior consent, and all available knowledge prior to said experiment.
ID = 14
LIKE
Thanks but you really shouldn't experiment on your friends especially if you consider what you did to those boys an experiment.
ID = 26
I don't experiment on my friend.
ID = 0
(Did she say friend singular on purpose?)
ID = 12
DISLIKE
After all this we're not friends?!
ID = 26
I have to go now bye to you two, and a special good bye to my honey. MUAH!
ERASE RIGHT
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
She's a strange girl.
ID = 14
NEUTRAL
Well at least everything is settled now.
STORY 14
CONDITION = 6 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
ID = 26
SHOW CENTER
ID = 0
Do you only do one experiment a day?
ID = 26
Yes it's easier to collect, process, and file the data I get from my experiments that way.
ID = 11
SHOW LEFT
UNFRIENDLY
Are you Yoko by any chance?
ID = 26
That I am. What can I do for a sweetie like you?
ID = 11
One of my friends was viciously attacked!
ID = 26
I'm sorry to hear, that but I don't see what that has to do with me.
ID = 0
Yoko that's pretty harsh of you. Couldn't you be nicer about it?
ID = 11
The teachers' are saying you did it, but my friend Shoko says you wouldn't do that.
ID = 26
Shoko was attacked?!
ID = 11
Not Shoko, Mayu.
ID = 26
Who's Mayu?
ID = 0
Calm down and tell me everything starting from just before this attack til now.
ID = 11
All four of us were getting ready to eat lunch when I noticed a really stinky smell coming from Mayu's lunch.
ID = 26
Who are all four of you?
ID = 11
Mayu, Izumi, Shoko and me. When Mayu opened her lunchbox it was full of rotten food from the garbage.
ID = 0
How can you tell it was from the garbage someone may have put it in the sun?
ID = 11
It had old banana peels, chewed gum, a half eaten moldy sandwich, and a piece of pizza with a footprint in there.
ID = 26
Yep sounds like garbage to me. Why do the teachers think I did it?
ID = 11
They say that you were spotted laughing and talking about experimenting in that area. Plus they say you never leave enough evidence to prove it's you.
ID = 26
Shoko's right please help me prove my innocence so that neither of you get hurt in the fallout.
ID = 11
Really?! I believe you but Mayu won't be so easily convinced, she's ready to go on a rampage.
ID = 26
Then we have to prove my innocence quickly. I have no reason to experiment on someone I have never met or even heard of before most of my experiments are on how people handle things outside their realm of normal perception. If I don't know how they would react under normal situations any data gathered would be useless to me.
ID = 11
What did you mean by fallout?
ID = 26
I like Shoko, if she defends me and the teachers convince Mayu that I am responsible it may cause Shoko to get hurt. If that were to happen
HEAVEN HELP THE PERSON WHO CAUSED IT BECAUSE I WOULD BRING DOWN THE FULL WEIGHT OF MY INTELLECT UPON THEIR LIFELESS BODIES.
ID = 0
(Wow everyone cleared out in a hurry. Not that I can blame them, that last part scared even me.)
Ruri trust me when I say this it's better to settle this before that happens.
ID = 11
The teachers were saying that you have done some pretty mean things in the name of your experiments.
ID = 0
Yoko may do mean things to some people, but putting garbage in a lunch box isn't her style, that seems like revenge or bullying.
ID = 26
Thanks for the vote of confidence honey remind me to show you how mean I can get later.
ID = 0
That's my cue to go someplace safe for now.
STORY 15
CONDITION = 14 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
PRIORITY = HIGH
ID = Girl A
Did you see those boys hanging upside down in girl uniforms?
ID = Girl B
Yeah, what was with the "spank me please" underwear?
ID = 0
(I have a really, really bad feeling that I know who's behind this.)
ID = Girl A
I have no idea but the cricket bats were a nice touch.
ID = 0
Excuse me but can you tell me if a girl with red and black hair was involved?
ID = Girl B
I didn't see any girls with red or black hair sorry.
ID = 0
I meant one girl with red hair on one side and black on the other.
ID = Girl A
You mean you think Yoko was involved?
ID = 0
So you didn't see her?
ID = Girl B
No sorry.
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
SHOW LEFT
ID = 14
SHOW CENTER
LIKE
I'm glad the teachers held us for questioning. That is the funniest thing I have ever seen.
ID = 12
DISLIKE
You haven't seen anything yet. I won't let them off so easily, because of them I had to buy my lunch.
ID = 26
SHOW RIGHT
Mayu are we ok now?
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
How could we not be?! Did you see that wave of humiliation you caused?!
ID = 14
NEUTRAL
Yeah with the evidence Ruri gave us it was clear you didn't have anything to do with what they did.
ID = 12
UNFRIENDLY
They must have really upset you to go that far, not that I don't plan to go further.
ID = 26
No not really I just wanted to judge their reactions to my latest inventions, besides the underwear was Ruri idea.
ID = 0
Then I would hate to see what you would have done if they would have hurt Shoko.
ID = 26
THERE ISN'T A PLACE FAR ENOUGH FOR THEM TO HAVE RUN IF THEY WOULD HAVE DONE THAT!!!
ID = 12
Do I sound like that when I go off? We could make a good team Yoko. With your brains and my brawn we could conquer the world.
ID = 0
No usually you just leave a trail of broken and limp bodies in your wake.
ID = 26
No thank you. I just want you to know that as long as both of you are friends with Shoko, I won't experiment on you without prior consent, and all available knowledge prior to said experiment.
ID = 14
LIKE
Thanks but you really shouldn't experiment on your friends especially if you consider what you did to those boys an experiment.
ID = 26
I don't experiment on my friend.
ID = 0
(Did she say friend singular on purpose?)
ID = 12
DISLIKE
After all this we're not friends?!
ID = 26
I have to go now bye to you two, and a special good bye to my honey. MUAH!
ERASE RIGHT
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
She's a strange girl.
ID = 14
NEUTRAL
Well at least everything is settled now.
Dozen
697
Lemme check!
I feel for her. Definitely fits Mayu, good job.
Mostly nope, with a pinch of not a chance. 'Wave of humiliation'? I'd make a D&D spell based on it, but Mayu can't and wouldn't butcher words like this. Her Mind stat has to be dug for.
*nod*
You are a little too caught up in Yoko's mindset. World domination wouldn't enter Mayu's mind(I doubt she has enough free space up there, anyway). She doesn't care for bigger pictures, and if we told her that, she'd probably think of large paintings.
What's with these fancy words? And that is a compound sentence that isn't an insult at the same time, heavens.
Mayu, is that you being upset when someone doesn't want to hang around you? What is that, you don't care? You want to cave my face in just because I'm asking instead of minding my own business, isn't it?
All these fancy words! And descriptiveness! Here, use this:
Done. Plain, blunt, short, a tiny bit politically incorrect. Aim for that.
author=Mayu
You haven't seen anything yet. I won't let them off so easily, because of them I had to buy my lunch.
I feel for her. Definitely fits Mayu, good job.
author=Mayu
How could we not be?! Did you see that wave of humiliation you caused?!
Mostly nope, with a pinch of not a chance. 'Wave of humiliation'? I'd make a D&D spell based on it, but Mayu can't and wouldn't butcher words like this. Her Mind stat has to be dug for.
author=Mayu
Do I sound like that when I go off?
*nod*
author=Mayu
We could make a good team Yoko. With your brains and my brawn we could conquer the world.
You are a little too caught up in Yoko's mindset. World domination wouldn't enter Mayu's mind(I doubt she has enough free space up there, anyway). She doesn't care for bigger pictures, and if we told her that, she'd probably think of large paintings.
author=Mayu
They must have really upset you to go that far, not that I don't plan to go further.
What's with these fancy words? And that is a compound sentence that isn't an insult at the same time, heavens.
author=Mayu
After all this we're not friends?!
Mayu, is that you being upset when someone doesn't want to hang around you? What is that, you don't care? You want to cave my face in just because I'm asking instead of minding my own business, isn't it?
author=Mayu
She's a strange girl.
All these fancy words! And descriptiveness! Here, use this:
Weirdo.
Done. Plain, blunt, short, a tiny bit politically incorrect. Aim for that.
One thing I'd like to note:
As a reminder, the line with the underwear was:
Is it just me, or does this not sound like something Ruri would actually think up?
ID = 26
No, not really. I just wanted to judge their reactions to my latest inventions. Besides, the underwear was Ruri's idea.
As a reminder, the line with the underwear was:
ID = Girl B
Yeah. What was with the "Spank me, please!" underwear?
Is it just me, or does this not sound like something Ruri would actually think up?
triad2
0
@marrend Than should the paddles be her idea? or maybe she provided the female uniforms?
@ Dozen i changed humiliation to chaos, and wave to path. I respectfuly disagree about her mind stat granted she's not tsubasa or masako, but i feel she is at least as intelligent as miki, or the player. The must have upset line i changed to you could have let me handle them, and the friends thing i felt that it would have been a blow to her ego putting her hand out there just to get it slapped and i changed the last part to she's strange. as for the world domination thing it was meant as a joke
@ Dozen i changed humiliation to chaos, and wave to path. I respectfuly disagree about her mind stat granted she's not tsubasa or masako, but i feel she is at least as intelligent as miki, or the player. The must have upset line i changed to you could have let me handle them, and the friends thing i felt that it would have been a blow to her ego putting her hand out there just to get it slapped and i changed the last part to she's strange. as for the world domination thing it was meant as a joke
Dozen
697
author=triad2And now I'd have to quote Gunnery Chief Williams if there was someone on this planet who haven't heard that line yet.
I respectfuly disagree.
author=triad2Even if she did get caught up on that(which I highly doubt), that's nowhere close to how she handles stress. Hers involves punching people. That has been extablished for a long while. She doesn't want more friends, and not going to get upset about someone refusing to be hers.
the friends thing i felt that it would have been a blow to her ego putting her hand out there just to get it slapped
author=triad2What we feel is absolutely irrelevant when it comes to headwork, padre. Keep your frontal lobe's activity where it belongs and use the rest of your brain. If I was listening to my feelings, I'd shut up to defend yours, and in the end we'd get another patchwork of a route, as well as naked pictures of me I posted for attention before I smacked my keyboard apart in my perpetual rage.
granted she's not tsubasa or masako, but i feel she is at least as intelligent as miki, or the player.
When you think about it, you realize Mayu is not smart. In fact, she might be the dumbest of the cast(not that it means much with all the geniuses running around). In every scene we see her act stupid, ignorant, dense, not holding back her frenzy in the slightest. No person who has a respectable level of smarts and intelligence does these constantly, let alone intentionally. If you don't believe her to be so, prove it.
And lastly, regarding feelings. I feel you're an ass for disregarding Marrend's work, and not only downplaying Mayu's shortcomings, but ignoring everything we know about her character -her style of speech, her motivations, her very being- by showing her as an entirely different person to support your petty image of her role in your route that is obviously cares solely for showing off Yoko's wackiness. Because that's all there is to it, isn't that right? The whole point of the scene is to show Yoko's characterization, how and why she would refuse the friendship. You don't give shit about whether Mayu would ask in the first place or not, and make up silly excuses so you don't have to rewrite this piece of story you grew attached to. I feel like you should stop that. I let you get away with this line of "logic" when no one hears the tree fall, but when you cause problems to others, I'm not having it. You don't have to listen to me of course, if you upload it in this form it's on your soul. I hope I'm making myself clear.
