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1st archived artistic content creation thread. For the active thread, click here.
Posts 
Marrend
View playlists
CloseThen, should the paddles be her idea? Or, maybe, she provided the female uniforms?
The most I see her do is say, "Ya big meanies! What'ja do that for?" However, I'm thinking that, since the incident was brought to the attention of the authorities, she'd very probably let them handle it, and not interact with Yoko's experiment at all? I mean, don't Yoko's experiments feel a little too mean-spirited for somebody like Ruri? Is it just me?
*Edit, attempt at diffusion: If there are doubts about what should be written for a character of my creation, ask me! After all, do we not want these custom characters to succeed?
triad2
0
marrend with the letting the teachers handle it you're getting a small bit ahead of me the next part is the summation which is going to involve masako. That being said i have two questions for you where do you see mayus intelligence? Would ruri have suggested the underwear to stop yoko from doing something even meaner?
dozen i have no attachment to this part in fact i'm starting to think it may be better to scrap it. if i didn't care about mayu (who is actually my third favorite character in the game) i wouldn't have asked for help the main problem i am having writing for mayu is that she relies heavily on emotions and i don't have them.
dozen i have no attachment to this part in fact i'm starting to think it may be better to scrap it. if i didn't care about mayu (who is actually my third favorite character in the game) i wouldn't have asked for help the main problem i am having writing for mayu is that she relies heavily on emotions and i don't have them.
Dozen
697
author=triad2
dozen i have no attachment to this part in fact i'm starting to think it may be better to scrap it. if i didn't care about mayu (who is actually my third favorite character in the game) i wouldn't have asked for help the main problem i am having writing for mayu is that she relies heavily on emotions and i don't have them.
Man. People so rarely admit faults, I barely know what to say! Thank you, you're being very mature, and it's nice of you to pay attention to me.
This raised my spirits! Happy Apocalypse, everyone! And may you live to see Christmas! Or Hanukah. Or that was before? Monotheism, I don't know shit about it. Damn, Happy Holidays! Something!
author=triad2
marrend with the letting the teachers handle it you're getting a small bit ahead of me the next part is the summation which is going to involve masako.
I don't think so. But, maybe one of the questions should shed some light on this.
That being said, I have two questions for you: Where do you see Mayu's intelligence?
Below average, for sure. For full disclosure, Ruri doesn't fair too much better than Mayu in this department.
Would Ruri have suggested the underwear to stop Yoko from doing something even meaner?
If anything, she would try, along with Izumi, to diffuse Mayu's anger. That's priority number 1. If they learn that Yoko has something "interesting" planned for the perpetrators of the "Mayu lunchbox incident" (Yes, it has a name now!), and they probably have heard rumors about what she has done, they might actually try and diffuse Yoko as well. Making suggestions to Yoko about what she could do doesn't really sound like "diffusion" to me. In fact, would in not make matters worse? I dunno. Maybe I'm thinking too far ahead again.
triad2
0
@marrend ok i will start on part three of the mayu lunchbox incident. When done if it ties up all loose ends and you approve, i will move onto the next arc. If not i will try one more time to make appropriate changes, then scrap the whole arc and try something else with the rest of the Uchioniko clan.
@dozen i apoligise i really saw mayu as about average intelligence and on par with the player
@dozen i apoligise i really saw mayu as about average intelligence and on par with the player
Dozen
697
author=triad2
@dozen i apoligise i really saw mayu as about average intelligence and on par with the player
We're going to get a d20 character sheet roundup eventually. And by get I mean 'I'm going to sit down and deduct everyone's stats like the nerd I am.' Suppository! And it would be useful too, apparently.
triad2
0
Here are all three stories together i hope this all fits together if i leave any questions unanswered please feel free to ask and i will have masako ask and yoko answer
STORY 14
CONDITION = 6 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
ID = 26
SHOW CENTER
ID = 0
Do you only do one experiment a day?
ID = 26
Yes it's easier to collect, process, and file the data I get from my experiments that way.
ID = 11
SHOW LEFT
UNFRIENDLY
Are you Yoko by any chance?
ID = 26
That I am. What can I do for a sweetie like you?
ID = 11
One of my friends was viciously attacked!
ID = 26
I'm sorry to hear, that but I don't see what that has to do with me.
ID = 0
Yoko that's pretty harsh of you. Couldn't you be nicer about it?
ID = 11
The teachers' are saying you did it, but my friend Shoko says you wouldn't do that.
ID = 26
Shoko was attacked?!
ID = 11
Not Shoko, Mayu.
ID = 26
Who's Mayu?
ID = 0
Calm down and tell me everything starting from just before this attack til now.
ID = 11
All four of us were getting ready to eat lunch when I noticed a really stinky smell coming from Mayu's lunch.
ID = 26
Who are all four of you?
ID = 11
Mayu, Izumi, Shoko and me. When Mayu opened her lunchbox it was full of rotten food from the garbage.
ID = 0
How can you tell it was from the garbage someone may have put it in the sun?
ID = 11
It had old banana peels, chewed gum, a half eaten moldy sandwich, and a piece of pizza with a footprint in there.
ID = 26
Yep sounds like garbage to me. Why do the teachers think I did it?
ID = 11
They say that you were spotted laughing and talking about experimenting in that area. Plus they say you never leave enough evidence to prove it's you.
ID = 26
Shoko's right please help me prove my innocence so that neither of you get hurt in the fallout.
ID = 11
Really?! I believe you but Mayu won't be so easily convinced, she's ready to go on a rampage.
ID = 26
Then we have to prove my innocence quickly. I have no reason to experiment on someone I have never met or even heard of before most of my experiments are on how people handle things outside their realm of normal perception. If I don't know how they would react under normal situations any data gathered would be useless to me.
ID = 11
What did you mean by fallout?
ID = 26
I like Shoko, if she defends me and the teachers convince Mayu that I am responsible it may cause Shoko to get hurt. If that were to happen
HEAVEN HELP THE PERSON WHO CAUSED IT BECAUSE I WOULD BRING DOWN THE FULL WEIGHT OF MY INTELLECT UPON THEIR LIFELESS BODIES.
ID = 0
(Wow everyone cleared out in a hurry. Not that I can blame them, that last part scared even me.)
Ruri trust me when I say this it's better to settle this before that happens.
ID = 11
The teachers were saying that you have done some pretty mean things in the name of your experiments.
ID = 0
Yoko may do mean things to some people, but putting garbage in a lunch box isn't her style, that seems like revenge or bullying.
ID = 26
Thanks for the vote of confidence honey remind me to show you how mean I can get later.
ID = 0
That's my cue to go someplace safe for now.
STORY 15
CONDITION = 14 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
PRIORITY = HIGH
ID = Girl A
Did you see those boys hanging upside down in girl uniforms?
ID = Girl B
Yeah, what was with the "spank me please" underwear?
ID = 0
(I have a really, really bad feeling that I know who's behind this.)
ID = Girl A
I have no idea but the cricket bats were a nice touch.
ID = 0
Excuse me but can you tell me if a girl with red and black hair was involved?
ID = Girl B
I didn't see any girls with red or black hair sorry.
ID = 0
I meant one girl with red hair on one side and black on the other.
ID = Girl A
You mean you think Yoko was involved?
ID = 0
So you didn't see her?
ID = Girl B
No sorry.
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
SHOW LEFT
ID = 14
SHOW CENTER
LIKE
I'm glad the teachers held us for questioning. That is the funniest thing I have ever seen.
ID = 12
DISLIKE
You haven't seen anything yet. I won't let them off so easily, because of them I had to buy my lunch.
ID = 26
SHOW RIGHT
Mayu are we ok now?
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
How could we not be?! Did you see that path of chaos you caused?!
ID = 14
NEUTRAL
Yeah with the evidence Ruri gave us it was clear you didn't have anything to do with what they did.
ID = 12
UNFRIENDLY
Thier punnishment has just started. You could have let me handle it.
ID = 14
Were you really that upset that they tried to frame you?
ID = 26
No not really I just wanted to judge their reactions to my latest inventions, besides the underwear was Ruri idea.
ID = 0
Then I would hate to see what you would have done if they would have hurt Shoko.
ID = 26
THERE ISN'T A PLACE FAR ENOUGH FOR THEM TO HAVE RUN IF THEY WOULD HAVE DONE THAT!!!
ID = 12
Do I sound like that when I go off?
ID = 0
No usually you just leave a trail of broken and limp bodies in your wake.
ID = 12
Join us for a snack after school.
ID = 26
No thank you. I just want you to know that as long as both of you are friends with Shoko, I won't experiment on you without prior consent, and all available knowledge prior to said experiment.
ID = 14
LIKE
Thanks but you really shouldn't experiment on your friends especially if you consider what you did to those boys an experiment.
ID = 26
I don't experiment on my friend.
ID = 0
(Did she say friend singular on purpose?)
ID = 12
DISLIKE
Fine!
ID = 26
I have to go now bye to you two, and a special good bye to my honey. MUAH!
ERASE RIGHT
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
She's strange.
ID = 14
NEUTRAL
Well at least everything is settled now.
STORY 16
CONDITION = 15 DONE
PLACE = Front B
ID = 26
SHOW CENTER
Are you trying to ditch out on your makeup test honey? MUAH
ID = 0
Is that today?
ID = 26
Yep the teacher sent me to get you.
ID = 10
SHOW RIGHT
Ms Tanaka please come with me.
ID = 26
SHOW LEFT
Sorry I would love to but I can't today.
ID = 10
I have the proof that I need to turn you into the principal.
ID = 26
Really for what?
ID = 0
With all that you do it's hard to tell.
JUMP A
BRANCH A
PLACE = HALL A
ID = 26
SHOW LEFT
ID = 10
SHOW RIGHT
For what you did to those boys.
ID = 26
But I already turned myself in for that less then 5 minutes ago, and got detention which is where me and my honey are headed now.
ID = 0
Why aren't you flirting with her like you did last time.
ID = 10
I see.
ID = 26
I'm sure the teacher wouldn't mind you replacing him as my chess partner.
ID = 10
The detention teacher allows you to play chess?
JUMP B
BRANCH B
PLACE = Classroom B
ID = 10
SHOW RIGHT
ID = 26
SHOW LEFT
He taught me the rules.
ID = Teacher
Masako why are you here? <player> your test is on the desk please take it and no cheating.
ID = 26
I invited her to play chess if you don't mind.
ID = Teacher
You are going to do whatever you want anyway. The board and clocks are already setup.
ID = 10
Why do you let her play chess when she is supposed to be in trouble.
ID = Teacher
I'm forcing her, not allowing. This is her punishment. She finds it boring and unstimulating.
ID = 10
I see.
ID = Teacher
Ms Tanka please remember to try and keep any noise down. I do have other students here afterall.
ID = 26
Don't worry we will.
ID = 10
Do you mind if I ask you questions about the lunchbox incident?
ID = 26
Do you mind if I don't answer?
ID = 10
I would prefer you answered them without any deceptive intent.
ID = 26
Then lets make a game out of it. You ask a question While you make your move. I answer before I make my move first one to go over time must forfeit the game.
ID = 10
begrudgingly I accept.
ID = 26
I'll go first if you don't mind.
ID = 10
A lot of things are puzzeling me about this incident. Why didn't you go to the teachers first.
ID = 26
I gave ruri all the evidence we had gathered and told her to take them to the teachers but they all refused to even look at it. So I had her take it to Izumi and Mayu who were still being detained by the teachers for Mayu's outburst.
ID = 10
I see, nice gambit check in three moves. How did you change the boys' clothes without being anywhere near them?
ID = 26
That was easy a few weeks ago I invented a machine that would change my clothes but I didn't want to test it out on my self so I used them as guinea pigs.
ID = 10
Interesting. Witnesses overheard you saying ruri came up with the underwear idea is that true?
ID = 26
Yes I was going to load pink thongs then I was going to tattoo their butts with please spank me. she talked me out of it. Mate in two.
ID = 10
Why didn't izumi try to calm you down? Check.
ID = 26
She was busy keeping Mayu calm. Check
ID = 10
Why didn't Ruri try to keep you calm?
ID = 26
That's simple I was calm all she could do was try to negate as much damage as possible which she did. Checkmate.
ID = 10
You're saying you weren't upset that you were being framed?
ID = 26
No the teachers hate me anyway.
ID = 10
How much damage was Ruri able to negate?
ID = 26
Besides the tattoos? Alot, I was going to drill holes into the bats and pay students to spank them. Check
ID = 10
Mate in three. Why did you turn yourself in?
ID = 26
I had left too much evidence, my machines, my bats, witnesses, and last but not least motive. Check.
ID = 10
Why did you involve Ruri why not send her away.
ID = 26
Maybe I wanted someone I felt I could frame or maybe her child like personality made it hard for me to say no. I don't really know myself. Check
ID = 10
Checkmate. You're not too bad at this.
ID = 26
Thanks
ID = 0
(They played 11 more games the final score was yoko five, masako five, and three stalemates.)
and before it is asked i thought having them on equal footing would be something me and marrend could live with. also i havent ran it through the grammer programs yet i am really tired i just got home from work and need sleep
STORY 14
CONDITION = 6 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
ID = 26
SHOW CENTER
ID = 0
Do you only do one experiment a day?
ID = 26
Yes it's easier to collect, process, and file the data I get from my experiments that way.
ID = 11
SHOW LEFT
UNFRIENDLY
Are you Yoko by any chance?
ID = 26
That I am. What can I do for a sweetie like you?
ID = 11
One of my friends was viciously attacked!
ID = 26
I'm sorry to hear, that but I don't see what that has to do with me.
ID = 0
Yoko that's pretty harsh of you. Couldn't you be nicer about it?
ID = 11
The teachers' are saying you did it, but my friend Shoko says you wouldn't do that.
ID = 26
Shoko was attacked?!
ID = 11
Not Shoko, Mayu.
ID = 26
Who's Mayu?
ID = 0
Calm down and tell me everything starting from just before this attack til now.
ID = 11
All four of us were getting ready to eat lunch when I noticed a really stinky smell coming from Mayu's lunch.
ID = 26
Who are all four of you?
ID = 11
Mayu, Izumi, Shoko and me. When Mayu opened her lunchbox it was full of rotten food from the garbage.
ID = 0
How can you tell it was from the garbage someone may have put it in the sun?
ID = 11
It had old banana peels, chewed gum, a half eaten moldy sandwich, and a piece of pizza with a footprint in there.
ID = 26
Yep sounds like garbage to me. Why do the teachers think I did it?
ID = 11
They say that you were spotted laughing and talking about experimenting in that area. Plus they say you never leave enough evidence to prove it's you.
ID = 26
Shoko's right please help me prove my innocence so that neither of you get hurt in the fallout.
ID = 11
Really?! I believe you but Mayu won't be so easily convinced, she's ready to go on a rampage.
ID = 26
Then we have to prove my innocence quickly. I have no reason to experiment on someone I have never met or even heard of before most of my experiments are on how people handle things outside their realm of normal perception. If I don't know how they would react under normal situations any data gathered would be useless to me.
ID = 11
What did you mean by fallout?
ID = 26
I like Shoko, if she defends me and the teachers convince Mayu that I am responsible it may cause Shoko to get hurt. If that were to happen
HEAVEN HELP THE PERSON WHO CAUSED IT BECAUSE I WOULD BRING DOWN THE FULL WEIGHT OF MY INTELLECT UPON THEIR LIFELESS BODIES.
ID = 0
(Wow everyone cleared out in a hurry. Not that I can blame them, that last part scared even me.)
Ruri trust me when I say this it's better to settle this before that happens.
ID = 11
The teachers were saying that you have done some pretty mean things in the name of your experiments.
ID = 0
Yoko may do mean things to some people, but putting garbage in a lunch box isn't her style, that seems like revenge or bullying.
ID = 26
Thanks for the vote of confidence honey remind me to show you how mean I can get later.
ID = 0
That's my cue to go someplace safe for now.
STORY 15
CONDITION = 14 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
PRIORITY = HIGH
ID = Girl A
Did you see those boys hanging upside down in girl uniforms?
ID = Girl B
Yeah, what was with the "spank me please" underwear?
ID = 0
(I have a really, really bad feeling that I know who's behind this.)
ID = Girl A
I have no idea but the cricket bats were a nice touch.
ID = 0
Excuse me but can you tell me if a girl with red and black hair was involved?
ID = Girl B
I didn't see any girls with red or black hair sorry.
ID = 0
I meant one girl with red hair on one side and black on the other.
ID = Girl A
You mean you think Yoko was involved?
ID = 0
So you didn't see her?
ID = Girl B
No sorry.
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
SHOW LEFT
ID = 14
SHOW CENTER
LIKE
I'm glad the teachers held us for questioning. That is the funniest thing I have ever seen.
ID = 12
DISLIKE
You haven't seen anything yet. I won't let them off so easily, because of them I had to buy my lunch.
ID = 26
SHOW RIGHT
Mayu are we ok now?
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
How could we not be?! Did you see that path of chaos you caused?!
ID = 14
NEUTRAL
Yeah with the evidence Ruri gave us it was clear you didn't have anything to do with what they did.
ID = 12
UNFRIENDLY
Thier punnishment has just started. You could have let me handle it.
ID = 14
Were you really that upset that they tried to frame you?
ID = 26
No not really I just wanted to judge their reactions to my latest inventions, besides the underwear was Ruri idea.
ID = 0
Then I would hate to see what you would have done if they would have hurt Shoko.
ID = 26
THERE ISN'T A PLACE FAR ENOUGH FOR THEM TO HAVE RUN IF THEY WOULD HAVE DONE THAT!!!
ID = 12
Do I sound like that when I go off?
ID = 0
No usually you just leave a trail of broken and limp bodies in your wake.
ID = 12
Join us for a snack after school.
ID = 26
No thank you. I just want you to know that as long as both of you are friends with Shoko, I won't experiment on you without prior consent, and all available knowledge prior to said experiment.
ID = 14
LIKE
Thanks but you really shouldn't experiment on your friends especially if you consider what you did to those boys an experiment.
ID = 26
I don't experiment on my friend.
ID = 0
(Did she say friend singular on purpose?)
ID = 12
DISLIKE
Fine!
ID = 26
I have to go now bye to you two, and a special good bye to my honey. MUAH!
ERASE RIGHT
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
She's strange.
ID = 14
NEUTRAL
Well at least everything is settled now.
STORY 16
CONDITION = 15 DONE
PLACE = Front B
ID = 26
SHOW CENTER
Are you trying to ditch out on your makeup test honey? MUAH
ID = 0
Is that today?
ID = 26
Yep the teacher sent me to get you.
ID = 10
SHOW RIGHT
Ms Tanaka please come with me.
ID = 26
SHOW LEFT
Sorry I would love to but I can't today.
ID = 10
I have the proof that I need to turn you into the principal.
ID = 26
Really for what?
ID = 0
With all that you do it's hard to tell.
JUMP A
BRANCH A
PLACE = HALL A
ID = 26
SHOW LEFT
ID = 10
SHOW RIGHT
For what you did to those boys.
ID = 26
But I already turned myself in for that less then 5 minutes ago, and got detention which is where me and my honey are headed now.
ID = 0
Why aren't you flirting with her like you did last time.
ID = 10
I see.
ID = 26
I'm sure the teacher wouldn't mind you replacing him as my chess partner.
ID = 10
The detention teacher allows you to play chess?
JUMP B
BRANCH B
PLACE = Classroom B
ID = 10
SHOW RIGHT
ID = 26
SHOW LEFT
He taught me the rules.
ID = Teacher
Masako why are you here? <player> your test is on the desk please take it and no cheating.
ID = 26
I invited her to play chess if you don't mind.
ID = Teacher
You are going to do whatever you want anyway. The board and clocks are already setup.
ID = 10
Why do you let her play chess when she is supposed to be in trouble.
ID = Teacher
I'm forcing her, not allowing. This is her punishment. She finds it boring and unstimulating.
ID = 10
I see.
ID = Teacher
Ms Tanka please remember to try and keep any noise down. I do have other students here afterall.
ID = 26
Don't worry we will.
ID = 10
Do you mind if I ask you questions about the lunchbox incident?
ID = 26
Do you mind if I don't answer?
ID = 10
I would prefer you answered them without any deceptive intent.
ID = 26
Then lets make a game out of it. You ask a question While you make your move. I answer before I make my move first one to go over time must forfeit the game.
ID = 10
begrudgingly I accept.
ID = 26
I'll go first if you don't mind.
ID = 10
A lot of things are puzzeling me about this incident. Why didn't you go to the teachers first.
ID = 26
I gave ruri all the evidence we had gathered and told her to take them to the teachers but they all refused to even look at it. So I had her take it to Izumi and Mayu who were still being detained by the teachers for Mayu's outburst.
ID = 10
I see, nice gambit check in three moves. How did you change the boys' clothes without being anywhere near them?
ID = 26
That was easy a few weeks ago I invented a machine that would change my clothes but I didn't want to test it out on my self so I used them as guinea pigs.
ID = 10
Interesting. Witnesses overheard you saying ruri came up with the underwear idea is that true?
ID = 26
Yes I was going to load pink thongs then I was going to tattoo their butts with please spank me. she talked me out of it. Mate in two.
ID = 10
Why didn't izumi try to calm you down? Check.
ID = 26
She was busy keeping Mayu calm. Check
ID = 10
Why didn't Ruri try to keep you calm?
ID = 26
That's simple I was calm all she could do was try to negate as much damage as possible which she did. Checkmate.
ID = 10
You're saying you weren't upset that you were being framed?
ID = 26
No the teachers hate me anyway.
ID = 10
How much damage was Ruri able to negate?
ID = 26
Besides the tattoos? Alot, I was going to drill holes into the bats and pay students to spank them. Check
ID = 10
Mate in three. Why did you turn yourself in?
ID = 26
I had left too much evidence, my machines, my bats, witnesses, and last but not least motive. Check.
ID = 10
Why did you involve Ruri why not send her away.
ID = 26
Maybe I wanted someone I felt I could frame or maybe her child like personality made it hard for me to say no. I don't really know myself. Check
ID = 10
Checkmate. You're not too bad at this.
ID = 26
Thanks
ID = 0
(They played 11 more games the final score was yoko five, masako five, and three stalemates.)
and before it is asked i thought having them on equal footing would be something me and marrend could live with. also i havent ran it through the grammer programs yet i am really tired i just got home from work and need sleep
I'm mostly looking at the second and last sequence, here, so bear with me on this.
Reasoning: With how I'm reading things, she didn't actually cause any damage. So, she's looking at this situation, and thinking "Lame".
Reasoning: This is Mayu, at the core. Also, as discussed earlier, messing with Shoko is an action that makes all the members of Uchioniko angry. Even Ruri! So, while Mayu might not totally realize this, Ruri and Izumi would totally be right behind her.
Reasoning: Okay, so they didn't stop Yoko from experimenting. And, as it turns out, the punishment for her experiment is "merely" detention. Izumi might figure that the probability of Yoko continuing her behavior is quite high. Thus, this friendly warning.
Reasoning: Being friendly is totally Ruri's department, not Mayu's.
Reasoning: This is a totally optional edit, but, as stated before, this "sounds" more like Mayu.
My initial grievance with the Masako sequence is that she would very probably know that Yoko has detention. So, for me, it would make more sense if she just up and appeared at the detention hall. So, I would think it would be more like...
Then she can start talking about the lunchbox scenario! I imagining:
Er, I'm going to stop right there, since I think I might be overdoing it a little bit!
*Edit:
I was hammered on this before, so I might want to re-consider this. As I recall, the students were found hanging upside-down, in female uniforms, with underwear that says "Spank me, please!" Now, maybe they were found unconscious in this fashion. If so, it could be that Mayu was allowed to beat on them a bit before Yoko got to them. The story does not mention that the bodies looked like they were beaten, however. In that light, it might also be an after-effect of Yoko's clothing-change invention, but I'm not really 100% certain of this.
ID = 12Maybe....
NEUTRAL
How could we not be?! Did you see that path of chaos you caused?!
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
I guess so.
Reasoning: With how I'm reading things, she didn't actually cause any damage. So, she's looking at this situation, and thinking "Lame".
ID = 12I'm thinking...
Do I sound like that when I go off?
ID = 12
UNFRIENDLY
You think there would be anything <b>left</b> after I'm through with 'em?
Reasoning: This is Mayu, at the core. Also, as discussed earlier, messing with Shoko is an action that makes all the members of Uchioniko angry. Even Ruri! So, while Mayu might not totally realize this, Ruri and Izumi would totally be right behind her.
ID = 14Perhaps something like...
LIKE
Thanks but you really shouldn't experiment on your friends especially if you consider what you did to those boys an experiment.
ID = 14
NEUTRAL
You know, Yoko, the reason you were implicated in the first place is <b>because</b> of your experiments! You might already know this, but, it's something to think about for next time.
Reasoning: Okay, so they didn't stop Yoko from experimenting. And, as it turns out, the punishment for her experiment is "merely" detention. Izumi might figure that the probability of Yoko continuing her behavior is quite high. Thus, this friendly warning.
ID = 12This is totally...
Join us for a snack after school.
ID = 11
Hey, join us for a snack later, 'kay?
Reasoning: Being friendly is totally Ruri's department, not Mayu's.
ID = 12This is mostly fine, but to have more Mayu for your money, the line would be...
NEUTRAL
She's strange.
ID = 12... or Dozen's suggestion....
NEUTRAL
Weird girl.
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
Weirdo.
Reasoning: This is a totally optional edit, but, as stated before, this "sounds" more like Mayu.
My initial grievance with the Masako sequence is that she would very probably know that Yoko has detention. So, for me, it would make more sense if she just up and appeared at the detention hall. So, I would think it would be more like...
ID = Teacher
Masako, why are you here?
ID = 10
I wish to ask Tanaka a few questions, if I may.
ID = Teacher
I suppose that's all right.
ID = 10
Thank you.
Then she can start talking about the lunchbox scenario! I imagining:
ID = 10
Do you mind if I ask you questions about this... lunchbox incident?
ID = 26
Do you mind if I don't answer?
ID = 10
Forgive me. I had thought that giving you this opportunity to explain your actions would prove more stimulating than merely sitting idly.
ID = 26
Hrmm... Well, there's a chessboard. Why don't we make a game of it? You may ask your question while it's your turn. I answer during my turn. To make it more interesting, we make the turns timed. Whoever goes over the time limit automatically looses.
ID = 10
UNFRIENDLY
That is all this is to you, is it not? A game?
Er, I'm going to stop right there, since I think I might be overdoing it a little bit!
*Edit:
Reasoning: With how I'm reading things, she didn't actually cause any damage. So, she's looking at this situation, and thinking "Lame".
I was hammered on this before, so I might want to re-consider this. As I recall, the students were found hanging upside-down, in female uniforms, with underwear that says "Spank me, please!" Now, maybe they were found unconscious in this fashion. If so, it could be that Mayu was allowed to beat on them a bit before Yoko got to them. The story does not mention that the bodies looked like they were beaten, however. In that light, it might also be an after-effect of Yoko's clothing-change invention, but I'm not really 100% certain of this.
triad2
0
I made all those changes and more to make the changes fit
STORY 14
CONDITION = 6 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
ID = 26
SHOW CENTER
ID = 0
Do you only do one experiment a day?
ID = 26
Yes it's easier to collect, process, and file the data I get from my experiments that way.
ID = 11
SHOW LEFT
UNFRIENDLY
Are you Yoko by any chance?
ID = 26
That I am. What can I do for a sweetie like you?
ID = 11
One of my friends was viciously attacked!
ID = 26
I'm sorry to hear, that but I don't see what that has to do with me.
ID = 0
Yoko that's pretty harsh of you. Couldn't you be nicer about it?
ID = 11
The teachers' are saying you did it, but my friend Shoko says you wouldn't do that.
ID = 26
Shoko was attacked?!
ID = 11
Not Shoko, Mayu.
ID = 26
Who's Mayu?
ID = 0
Calm down and tell me everything starting from just before this attack till now.
ID = 11
All four of us were getting ready to eat lunch when I noticed a really stinky smell coming from Mayu's lunch.
ID = 26
Who are all four of you?
ID = 11
Mayu, Izumi, Shoko and me. When Mayu opened her lunchbox it was full of rotten food from the garbage.
ID = 0
How can you tell it was from the garbage someone may have put it in the sun?
ID = 11
It had old banana peels, chewed gum, a half eaten moldy sandwich, and a piece of pizza with a footprint in there.
ID = 26
Yep sounds like garbage to me. Why do the teachers think I did it?
ID = 11
They say that you were spotted laughing and talking about experimenting in that area. Plus they say you never leave enough evidence to prove it's you.
ID = 26
Shoko's right please help me prove my innocence so that neither of you get hurt in the fallout.
ID = 11
Really?! I believe you but Mayu won't be so easily convinced, she's ready to go on a rampage.
ID = 26
Then we have to prove my innocence quickly. I have no reason to experiment on someone I have never met or even heard of before most of my experiments are on how people handle things outside their realm of normal perception. If I don't know how they would react under normal situations any data gathered would be useless to me.
ID = 11
What did you mean by fallout?
ID = 26
I like Shoko, if she defends me and the teachers convince Mayu that I am responsible it may cause Shoko to get hurt. If that were to happen
MAY HEAVEN HELP THE PERSON WHO CAUSED IT BECAUSE I WOULD BRING DOWN THE FULL WEIGHT OF MY INTELLECT UPON THEIR LIFELESS BODIES.
ID = 0
(Wow everyone cleared out in a hurry. Not that I can blame them, that last part scared even me.)
Ruri trust me when I say this it's better to settle this before that happens.
ID = 11
The teachers were saying that you have done some pretty mean things in the name of your experiments.
ID = 0
Yoko may do mean things to some people, but putting garbage in a lunch box isn't her style, that seems like revenge or bullying.
ID = 26
Thanks for the vote of confidence honey remind me to show you how mean I can get later.
ID = 0
That's my cue to go someplace safe for now.
STORY 15
CONDITION = 14 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
PRIORITY = HIGH
ID = Girl A
Did you see those screaming boys?
ID = Girl B
The ones that were hanging upside down in girl uniforms?
ID = Girl A
Yeah, what was with the "spank me please" underwear?
ID = 0
(I have a really, really bad feeling that I know who's behind this.)
ID = Girl A
I have no idea but the cricket bats were a nice touch.
ID = 0
Excuse me but can you tell me if a girl with red and black hair was involved?
ID = Girl B
I didn't see any girls with red or black hair sorry.
ID = 0
I meant one girl with red hair on one side and black on the other.
ID = Girl A
You mean you think Yoko was involved?
ID = 0
So you didn't see her?
ID = Girl B
No sorry.
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
SHOW LEFT
ID = 14
SHOW CENTER
LIKE
I'm glad the teachers held us for questioning. That is the funniest thing I have ever seen.
ID = 12
DISLIKE
You haven't seen anything yet. I won't let them off so easily, because of them I had to buy my lunch.
ID = 26
SHOW RIGHT
Mayu are we ok now?
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
I guess so.
ID = 14
NEUTRAL
Yeah with the evidence Ruri gave us it was clear you didn't have anything to do with what they did.
ID = 12
UNFRIENDLY
Their punishment has just started. You could have let me handle it.
ID = 14
Were you really that upset that they tried to frame you?
ID = 26
No not really I just wanted to judge their reactions to my latest inventions, besides the underwear was Ruri idea.
ID = 0
Then I would hate to see what you would have done if they would have hurt Shoko.
ID = 26
THERE ISN'T A PLACE FAR ENOUGH FOR THEM TO HAVE RUN IF THEY WOULD HAVE DONE THAT!!!
ID = 12
You think there would be anything <b>left</b> after I'm through with 'em?
ID = 26
That would depend on how effective Ruri and Izumi are.
ID = 14
Ruri would be happy if you were to join us for a snack after school.
ID = 26
No thank you. I just want you to know that as long as both of you are friends with Shoko, I won't experiment on you without prior consent, and all available knowledge prior to said experiment.
ID = 14
You know, Yoko, the reason you were implicated in the first place is <b>because</b> of your experiments! You might already know this, but, it's something to think about for next time.
ID = 26
I don't mind being implicated. I just don't want my friend to get hurt.
ID = 0
(Did she say friend singular on purpose?)
ID = 26
I have to go now bye to you two, and a special good bye to my honey. MUAH!
ERASE RIGHT
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
She's weird.
ID = 14
NEUTRAL
Well at least everything is settled now.
STORY 16
CONDITION = 15 DONE
PLACE = Front B
ID = 26
SHOW CENTER
Are you trying to ditch out on your makeup test honey? MUAH
ID = 0
Is that today?
ID = 26
Yep the teacher sent me to get you.
ID = 0
Why did my teacher send you?
JUMP A
BRANCH A
PLACE = HALL A
ID = 26
He's the supervising teacher for my detention.
ID = 0
They finally got enough evidence on you huh?
ID = 26
No I turned myself in for what I did to those boys.
ID = 0
I see.
ID = 26
After you finish the test, honey, want to play chess? I'm sure the teacher wouldn't mind if you replaced him.
ID = 0
The detention teacher allows you to play chess?
JUMP B
BRANCH B
PLACE = Classroom B
ID = 26
SHOW LEFT
He taught me the rules.
ID = Teacher
<player> your test is on the desk please take it and no cheating. Yoko The chess board and clocks are already setup. I will be there shortly.
ID = Teacher
Masako, why are you here?
ID = 10
I wish to ask Tanaka a few questions, if I may.
ID = Teacher
I suppose that's all right.
ID = 10
Thank you. Why do you let her play chess when she is supposed to be in trouble?
ID = Teacher
I'm forcing her, not allowing. This is her punishment. She finds it boring and unstimulating.
ID = 10
I see.
ID = Teacher
Ms Tanaka please try and remember to keep any noise down. I do have other students here after all.
ID = 26
Don't worry we will.
ID = 10
Do you mind if I ask you questions about this... lunchbox incident?
ID = 26
Do you mind if I don't answer?
ID = 10
Forgive me. I had thought that giving you this opportunity to explain your actions would prove more stimulating than merely sitting idly.
ID = 26
Hrmm... Well, there's a chessboard. Why don't we make a game of it? You may ask your question while it's your turn. I answer before I can make my turn. To make it more interesting, we make the turns timed. Whoever goes over the time limit automatically looses.
ID = 10
UNFRIENDLY
That is all this is to you, is it not? A game?
ID = 26
No but I have a hard time dealing with boredom, and simply answering questions would be boring.
I'll go first if you don't mind.
ID = 10
A lot of things are puzzling me about this incident. Why didn't you go to the teachers first?
ID = 26
I gave Ruri all the evidence we had gathered and told her to take them to the teachers but they all refused to even look at it. So I had her take it to Izumi and Mayu who were still being detained by the teachers for Mayu's outburst.
ID = 10
I see nice gambit check in three moves. How did you change the boys' clothes without being anywhere near them?
ID = 26
That was easy a few weeks ago I invented a machine that would change my clothes but I didn't want to test it out on my self so I used them as guinea pigs.
ID = 10
Interesting. Witnesses overheard you saying Ruri came up with the underwear idea is that true?
ID = 26
Yes I was going to load pink thongs then I was going to tattoo their butts with please spank me. She talked me out of it. Mate in two.
ID = 10
Why didn't Izumi try to calm you down? Check.
ID = 26
She was busy keeping Mayu calm. Check
ID = 10
Was Mayu involved in anyway with the punishment you gave the boys?
ID = 26
No as far as I know she still hasn't touched them izumi and ruri are trying to keep her distracted, but I feel it won't last long. Checkmate.
ID = 10
Why didn't Ruri try to keep you calm?
ID = 26
That's simple I was calm all she could do was try to negate as much damage as possible which she did.
ID = 10
You're saying you weren't upset that you were being framed?
ID = 26
No the teachers hate me anyway, and the only person hurt was someone I had never met. Check
ID = 10
How much damage was Ruri able to negate?
ID = 26
Besides the tattoos? A lot, I was going to drill holes into the bats and pay students to spank them. Check
ID = 10
Mate in three. Why did you turn yourself in?
ID = 26
I had left too much evidence, my machines, my bats, witnesses, and last but not least motive. Check.
ID = 10
Why did you involve Ruri why not send her away.
ID = 26
Maybe I wanted someone I felt I could frame or maybe her child like personality made it hard for me to say no. I don't really know myself. Check
ID = 10
Checkmate. You're not too bad at this.
ID = 26
Thanks
ID = 0
(They played 11 more games the final score was Yoko five, Masako five, and three stalemates.)
CONDITION = 6 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
ID = 26
SHOW CENTER
ID = 0
Do you only do one experiment a day?
ID = 26
Yes it's easier to collect, process, and file the data I get from my experiments that way.
ID = 11
SHOW LEFT
UNFRIENDLY
Are you Yoko by any chance?
ID = 26
That I am. What can I do for a sweetie like you?
ID = 11
One of my friends was viciously attacked!
ID = 26
I'm sorry to hear, that but I don't see what that has to do with me.
ID = 0
Yoko that's pretty harsh of you. Couldn't you be nicer about it?
ID = 11
The teachers' are saying you did it, but my friend Shoko says you wouldn't do that.
ID = 26
Shoko was attacked?!
ID = 11
Not Shoko, Mayu.
ID = 26
Who's Mayu?
ID = 0
Calm down and tell me everything starting from just before this attack till now.
ID = 11
All four of us were getting ready to eat lunch when I noticed a really stinky smell coming from Mayu's lunch.
ID = 26
Who are all four of you?
ID = 11
Mayu, Izumi, Shoko and me. When Mayu opened her lunchbox it was full of rotten food from the garbage.
ID = 0
How can you tell it was from the garbage someone may have put it in the sun?
ID = 11
It had old banana peels, chewed gum, a half eaten moldy sandwich, and a piece of pizza with a footprint in there.
ID = 26
Yep sounds like garbage to me. Why do the teachers think I did it?
ID = 11
They say that you were spotted laughing and talking about experimenting in that area. Plus they say you never leave enough evidence to prove it's you.
ID = 26
Shoko's right please help me prove my innocence so that neither of you get hurt in the fallout.
ID = 11
Really?! I believe you but Mayu won't be so easily convinced, she's ready to go on a rampage.
ID = 26
Then we have to prove my innocence quickly. I have no reason to experiment on someone I have never met or even heard of before most of my experiments are on how people handle things outside their realm of normal perception. If I don't know how they would react under normal situations any data gathered would be useless to me.
ID = 11
What did you mean by fallout?
ID = 26
I like Shoko, if she defends me and the teachers convince Mayu that I am responsible it may cause Shoko to get hurt. If that were to happen
MAY HEAVEN HELP THE PERSON WHO CAUSED IT BECAUSE I WOULD BRING DOWN THE FULL WEIGHT OF MY INTELLECT UPON THEIR LIFELESS BODIES.
ID = 0
(Wow everyone cleared out in a hurry. Not that I can blame them, that last part scared even me.)
Ruri trust me when I say this it's better to settle this before that happens.
ID = 11
The teachers were saying that you have done some pretty mean things in the name of your experiments.
ID = 0
Yoko may do mean things to some people, but putting garbage in a lunch box isn't her style, that seems like revenge or bullying.
ID = 26
Thanks for the vote of confidence honey remind me to show you how mean I can get later.
ID = 0
That's my cue to go someplace safe for now.
STORY 15
CONDITION = 14 DONE
PLACE = Courtyard
PRIORITY = HIGH
ID = Girl A
Did you see those screaming boys?
ID = Girl B
The ones that were hanging upside down in girl uniforms?
ID = Girl A
Yeah, what was with the "spank me please" underwear?
ID = 0
(I have a really, really bad feeling that I know who's behind this.)
ID = Girl A
I have no idea but the cricket bats were a nice touch.
ID = 0
Excuse me but can you tell me if a girl with red and black hair was involved?
ID = Girl B
I didn't see any girls with red or black hair sorry.
ID = 0
I meant one girl with red hair on one side and black on the other.
ID = Girl A
You mean you think Yoko was involved?
ID = 0
So you didn't see her?
ID = Girl B
No sorry.
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
SHOW LEFT
ID = 14
SHOW CENTER
LIKE
I'm glad the teachers held us for questioning. That is the funniest thing I have ever seen.
ID = 12
DISLIKE
You haven't seen anything yet. I won't let them off so easily, because of them I had to buy my lunch.
ID = 26
SHOW RIGHT
Mayu are we ok now?
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
I guess so.
ID = 14
NEUTRAL
Yeah with the evidence Ruri gave us it was clear you didn't have anything to do with what they did.
ID = 12
UNFRIENDLY
Their punishment has just started. You could have let me handle it.
ID = 14
Were you really that upset that they tried to frame you?
ID = 26
No not really I just wanted to judge their reactions to my latest inventions, besides the underwear was Ruri idea.
ID = 0
Then I would hate to see what you would have done if they would have hurt Shoko.
ID = 26
THERE ISN'T A PLACE FAR ENOUGH FOR THEM TO HAVE RUN IF THEY WOULD HAVE DONE THAT!!!
ID = 12
You think there would be anything <b>left</b> after I'm through with 'em?
ID = 26
That would depend on how effective Ruri and Izumi are.
ID = 14
Ruri would be happy if you were to join us for a snack after school.
ID = 26
No thank you. I just want you to know that as long as both of you are friends with Shoko, I won't experiment on you without prior consent, and all available knowledge prior to said experiment.
ID = 14
You know, Yoko, the reason you were implicated in the first place is <b>because</b> of your experiments! You might already know this, but, it's something to think about for next time.
ID = 26
I don't mind being implicated. I just don't want my friend to get hurt.
ID = 0
(Did she say friend singular on purpose?)
ID = 26
I have to go now bye to you two, and a special good bye to my honey. MUAH!
ERASE RIGHT
ID = 12
NEUTRAL
She's weird.
ID = 14
NEUTRAL
Well at least everything is settled now.
STORY 16
CONDITION = 15 DONE
PLACE = Front B
ID = 26
SHOW CENTER
Are you trying to ditch out on your makeup test honey? MUAH
ID = 0
Is that today?
ID = 26
Yep the teacher sent me to get you.
ID = 0
Why did my teacher send you?
JUMP A
BRANCH A
PLACE = HALL A
ID = 26
He's the supervising teacher for my detention.
ID = 0
They finally got enough evidence on you huh?
ID = 26
No I turned myself in for what I did to those boys.
ID = 0
I see.
ID = 26
After you finish the test, honey, want to play chess? I'm sure the teacher wouldn't mind if you replaced him.
ID = 0
The detention teacher allows you to play chess?
JUMP B
BRANCH B
PLACE = Classroom B
ID = 26
SHOW LEFT
He taught me the rules.
ID = Teacher
<player> your test is on the desk please take it and no cheating. Yoko The chess board and clocks are already setup. I will be there shortly.
ID = Teacher
Masako, why are you here?
ID = 10
I wish to ask Tanaka a few questions, if I may.
ID = Teacher
I suppose that's all right.
ID = 10
Thank you. Why do you let her play chess when she is supposed to be in trouble?
ID = Teacher
I'm forcing her, not allowing. This is her punishment. She finds it boring and unstimulating.
ID = 10
I see.
ID = Teacher
Ms Tanaka please try and remember to keep any noise down. I do have other students here after all.
ID = 26
Don't worry we will.
ID = 10
Do you mind if I ask you questions about this... lunchbox incident?
ID = 26
Do you mind if I don't answer?
ID = 10
Forgive me. I had thought that giving you this opportunity to explain your actions would prove more stimulating than merely sitting idly.
ID = 26
Hrmm... Well, there's a chessboard. Why don't we make a game of it? You may ask your question while it's your turn. I answer before I can make my turn. To make it more interesting, we make the turns timed. Whoever goes over the time limit automatically looses.
ID = 10
UNFRIENDLY
That is all this is to you, is it not? A game?
ID = 26
No but I have a hard time dealing with boredom, and simply answering questions would be boring.
I'll go first if you don't mind.
ID = 10
A lot of things are puzzling me about this incident. Why didn't you go to the teachers first?
ID = 26
I gave Ruri all the evidence we had gathered and told her to take them to the teachers but they all refused to even look at it. So I had her take it to Izumi and Mayu who were still being detained by the teachers for Mayu's outburst.
ID = 10
I see nice gambit check in three moves. How did you change the boys' clothes without being anywhere near them?
ID = 26
That was easy a few weeks ago I invented a machine that would change my clothes but I didn't want to test it out on my self so I used them as guinea pigs.
ID = 10
Interesting. Witnesses overheard you saying Ruri came up with the underwear idea is that true?
ID = 26
Yes I was going to load pink thongs then I was going to tattoo their butts with please spank me. She talked me out of it. Mate in two.
ID = 10
Why didn't Izumi try to calm you down? Check.
ID = 26
She was busy keeping Mayu calm. Check
ID = 10
Was Mayu involved in anyway with the punishment you gave the boys?
ID = 26
No as far as I know she still hasn't touched them izumi and ruri are trying to keep her distracted, but I feel it won't last long. Checkmate.
ID = 10
Why didn't Ruri try to keep you calm?
ID = 26
That's simple I was calm all she could do was try to negate as much damage as possible which she did.
ID = 10
You're saying you weren't upset that you were being framed?
ID = 26
No the teachers hate me anyway, and the only person hurt was someone I had never met. Check
ID = 10
How much damage was Ruri able to negate?
ID = 26
Besides the tattoos? A lot, I was going to drill holes into the bats and pay students to spank them. Check
ID = 10
Mate in three. Why did you turn yourself in?
ID = 26
I had left too much evidence, my machines, my bats, witnesses, and last but not least motive. Check.
ID = 10
Why did you involve Ruri why not send her away.
ID = 26
Maybe I wanted someone I felt I could frame or maybe her child like personality made it hard for me to say no. I don't really know myself. Check
ID = 10
Checkmate. You're not too bad at this.
ID = 26
Thanks
ID = 0
(They played 11 more games the final score was Yoko five, Masako five, and three stalemates.)
Shouldn't Masko's tachie pop up?
I mean, it's a minor technicality at best, but...
*Edit:
Reasoning: I don't see Masako using the term "boy" ever. This, however, is more like how she might talk.
Reasoning: The only reason she uses the player's first name is because of the <player> reference, and his family name is undefined. For everyone else, she strictly uses family names. On a side-note, I don't like "underwear". It just doesn't sound like a word Masako would actually use. Like, I dunno, it's below her (No pun intended). Or something. Might have to check out a thesaurus to see if there is a term that sounds like something she would say.
There are other lines in that BRANCH that I would suggest very similar changes for, and have very similar reasoning for the suggested changes.
BRANCH B
PLACE = Classroom B
ID = 26
SHOW LEFT
He taught me the rules.
ID = Teacher
<player>, your test is on the desk. Please take it, and no cheating. Yoko, the chessboard and clocks are already set up. I will be there shortly.
ID = 10
SHOW RIGHT
ID = Teacher
Masako, why are you here?
# Etc...
I mean, it's a minor technicality at best, but...
*Edit:
ID = 10How about...
I see nice gambit check in three moves. How did you change the boys' clothes without being anywhere near them?
ID = 10
I see. Quite the gambit check you've set up in three moves. In any event, how was it that the clothing of the male students involved was changed? I understand that you were not near them, so it is a rather odd point about this whole affair.
Reasoning: I don't see Masako using the term "boy" ever. This, however, is more like how she might talk.
ID = 10Allow me to suggest....
Interesting. Witnesses overheard you saying Ruri came up with the underwear idea is that true?
ID = 10
Interesting. Witnesses overheard you saying that Momotami came up with this underwear idea. Would there by any truth to that?
Reasoning: The only reason she uses the player's first name is because of the <player> reference, and his family name is undefined. For everyone else, she strictly uses family names. On a side-note, I don't like "underwear". It just doesn't sound like a word Masako would actually use. Like, I dunno, it's below her (No pun intended). Or something. Might have to check out a thesaurus to see if there is a term that sounds like something she would say.
There are other lines in that BRANCH that I would suggest very similar changes for, and have very similar reasoning for the suggested changes.
triad2
0
Edit how is this then
BRANCH B
PLACE = Classroom B
ID = 26
SHOW LEFT
He taught me the rules.
ID = Teacher
<player> your test is on the desk please take it and no cheating. Yoko The chess board and clocks are already setup. I will be there shortly.
ID = Teacher
Masako, why are you here?
ID = 10
I wish to ask Tanaka a few questions, if I may.
ID = Teacher
I suppose that's all right.
ID = 10
Thank you. Why do you let her play chess when she is supposed to be in trouble?
ID = Teacher
I'm forcing her, not allowing. This is her punishment. She finds it boring and under-stimulating.
ID = 10
I see.
ID = Teacher
Ms Tanaka please try and remember to keep any noise down. I do have other students here after all.
ID = 26
Don't worry we will.
ID = 10
Do you mind if I ask you questions about this... lunchbox incident?
ID = 26
Do you mind if I don't answer?
ID = 10
Forgive me. I had thought that giving you this opportunity to explain your actions would prove more stimulating than merely sitting idly.
ID = 26
If the teacher doesen't mind there is a chessboard ready. Why don't we make a game of it? You may ask your question while it's your turn. I answer before I can make my turn. To make it more interesting, we make the turns timed. Whoever goes over the time limit automatically looses.
ID = 10
UNFRIENDLY
That is all this is to you, is it not? A game?
ID = Teacher
I don't mind. I'm tired of losing anyway.
ID = 26
No but I have a hard time dealing with boredom, and simply answering questions would be boring.
I'll go first if you don't mind.
ID = 10
A lot of things are puzzling me about this incident. Why didn't you go to the teachers first?
ID = 26
I gave Ruri all the evidence we had gathered and told her to take them to the teachers but they all refused to even look at it. So I had her take it to Izumi and Mayu who were still being detained by the teachers for Mayu's outburst.
ID = 10
I see. Quite the gambit you've set up check in three moves. In any event, how was it that the clothing of the male students involved was changed? I understand that you were not near them, so it is a rather odd point about this whole affair.
ID = 26
That was easy a few weeks ago I invented a machine that would change my clothes but I didn't want to test it out on my self so I used them as guinea pigs.
ID = 10
Interesting. Witnesses overheard you saying quote "The underwear was Ruri's idea." Would there by any truth to that?
ID = 26
Yes I was going to load pink thongs then I was going to tattoo their butts with please spank me. She talked me out of it. The gambit was my own variation of Englund's gambit, and I will have you in checkmate in two moves.
ID = 10
Why didn't Shirazu try to calm you down? Check.
ID = 26
She was busy keeping Mayu calm. Check
ID = 10
Was Nemoto involved in anyway with the punishment you gave the male students in question?
ID = 26
No as far as I know she still hasn't touched them Izumi and Ruri are trying to keep her distracted, but I feel it won't last long. Checkmate.
ID = 10
Why didn't Monotami try to keep you calm?
ID = 26
That's simple I was calm all she could do was try to negate as much damage as possible which she did.
ID = 10
You're saying you weren't upset that you were being framed?
ID = 26
No the teachers hate me anyway, and the only person hurt was someone I had never met. Check
ID = 10
Exactly how much damage was Monotami able to negate?
ID = 26
Besides the tattoos? A lot, I was going to drill holes into the bats and pay students to spank them. Check
ID = 10
Mate in three. Why did you turn yourself in?
ID = 26
I had left too much evidence, my machines, my bats, witnesses, and last but not least motive. Check.
ID = 10
Why did you involve Monotami why not send her away.
ID = 26
Maybe I wanted someone I felt I could frame or maybe her child like personality made it hard for me to leave her alone. I don't really know myself. Check
ID = 10
Checkmate. You're skills are quite proficient.
ID = 26
Thanks and back at you.
ID = 0
(They played 11 more games the final score was Yoko five, Masako five, and three stalemates.)
BRANCH B
PLACE = Classroom B
ID = 26
SHOW LEFT
He taught me the rules.
ID = Teacher
<player> your test is on the desk please take it and no cheating. Yoko The chess board and clocks are already setup. I will be there shortly.
ID = Teacher
Masako, why are you here?
ID = 10
I wish to ask Tanaka a few questions, if I may.
ID = Teacher
I suppose that's all right.
ID = 10
Thank you. Why do you let her play chess when she is supposed to be in trouble?
ID = Teacher
I'm forcing her, not allowing. This is her punishment. She finds it boring and under-stimulating.
ID = 10
I see.
ID = Teacher
Ms Tanaka please try and remember to keep any noise down. I do have other students here after all.
ID = 26
Don't worry we will.
ID = 10
Do you mind if I ask you questions about this... lunchbox incident?
ID = 26
Do you mind if I don't answer?
ID = 10
Forgive me. I had thought that giving you this opportunity to explain your actions would prove more stimulating than merely sitting idly.
ID = 26
If the teacher doesen't mind there is a chessboard ready. Why don't we make a game of it? You may ask your question while it's your turn. I answer before I can make my turn. To make it more interesting, we make the turns timed. Whoever goes over the time limit automatically looses.
ID = 10
UNFRIENDLY
That is all this is to you, is it not? A game?
ID = Teacher
I don't mind. I'm tired of losing anyway.
ID = 26
No but I have a hard time dealing with boredom, and simply answering questions would be boring.
I'll go first if you don't mind.
ID = 10
A lot of things are puzzling me about this incident. Why didn't you go to the teachers first?
ID = 26
I gave Ruri all the evidence we had gathered and told her to take them to the teachers but they all refused to even look at it. So I had her take it to Izumi and Mayu who were still being detained by the teachers for Mayu's outburst.
ID = 10
I see. Quite the gambit you've set up check in three moves. In any event, how was it that the clothing of the male students involved was changed? I understand that you were not near them, so it is a rather odd point about this whole affair.
ID = 26
That was easy a few weeks ago I invented a machine that would change my clothes but I didn't want to test it out on my self so I used them as guinea pigs.
ID = 10
Interesting. Witnesses overheard you saying quote "The underwear was Ruri's idea." Would there by any truth to that?
ID = 26
Yes I was going to load pink thongs then I was going to tattoo their butts with please spank me. She talked me out of it. The gambit was my own variation of Englund's gambit, and I will have you in checkmate in two moves.
ID = 10
Why didn't Shirazu try to calm you down? Check.
ID = 26
She was busy keeping Mayu calm. Check
ID = 10
Was Nemoto involved in anyway with the punishment you gave the male students in question?
ID = 26
No as far as I know she still hasn't touched them Izumi and Ruri are trying to keep her distracted, but I feel it won't last long. Checkmate.
ID = 10
Why didn't Monotami try to keep you calm?
ID = 26
That's simple I was calm all she could do was try to negate as much damage as possible which she did.
ID = 10
You're saying you weren't upset that you were being framed?
ID = 26
No the teachers hate me anyway, and the only person hurt was someone I had never met. Check
ID = 10
Exactly how much damage was Monotami able to negate?
ID = 26
Besides the tattoos? A lot, I was going to drill holes into the bats and pay students to spank them. Check
ID = 10
Mate in three. Why did you turn yourself in?
ID = 26
I had left too much evidence, my machines, my bats, witnesses, and last but not least motive. Check.
ID = 10
Why did you involve Monotami why not send her away.
ID = 26
Maybe I wanted someone I felt I could frame or maybe her child like personality made it hard for me to leave her alone. I don't really know myself. Check
ID = 10
Checkmate. You're skills are quite proficient.
ID = 26
Thanks and back at you.
ID = 0
(They played 11 more games the final score was Yoko five, Masako five, and three stalemates.)
Hrm.
It might be...
...Or, for greater accuracy with Masako's character...
Reasoning: With the second suggestion, I took a look at a thesaurus, and thought that "undergarments" might be something Masako could use over "underwear". I dunno. I guess that's up in the air. Anyway, the first suggestion might be okay, but the second suggestion definitely sounds more like the Masako I know. Otherwise, this sequence gets my stamp of approval!
ID = 10
Interesting. Witnesses overheard you saying, quote, "The underwear was Ruri's idea." Would there by any truth to that?
It might be...
ID = 10
Interesting. Witnesses overheard you saying, and I quote, "The underwear was Ruri's idea." Would there by any truth to that?
...Or, for greater accuracy with Masako's character...
Interesting. Witnesses overheard you saying that the matter of the undergarments was Momotami's idea. Would there by any truth to that?
Reasoning: With the second suggestion, I took a look at a thesaurus, and thought that "undergarments" might be something Masako could use over "underwear". I dunno. I guess that's up in the air. Anyway, the first suggestion might be okay, but the second suggestion definitely sounds more like the Masako I know. Otherwise, this sequence gets my stamp of approval!
Dozen
697
Marrend, Shiftin'! I've finished Fran's route again! I have to say, I'm quite impressed! Tsubasa act a lot more like herself, and the story has accuracy to it(you used the word 'dreamscape', too!:D How did Fran ever learned it is beyond me, but hey.). Still, we have a lot work to do!*determined*
As you said, there is no emotional connection to speak of, not yet. Luckily for us, you ignored certain parts of the story I proposed before.(Yes, that's lucky, as you are because I noticed, Marrend-.-)It opens up more possibilities. But more on that later! I think we better go for a step by step approach, so you will read everything. The first thing we need to take care of is the woes of our ghostie, or rather the lack of them.
Fran, when not struggling to keep her "body" in the material realm to take a few bites, in stuck in a place the size of a bedroom, completely alone save for some idiots who shrugged her off as a dream, for who knows how long, has no idea how or why she got there to begin with, and all ill she appears to feel towards her state is annoyance. It's not as bad as before, but even so, she doesn't seem to care for it most of the time. The player saving her now pits him with about as much graditude as if he squished a bug that happened to bother her for months. For most people, that's hardly how it works. She should be desperate for contact and answers by now,(assuming she hasn't gone barking mad before the two met) and it should show, so Fran has a reason to like the Player more over it. Fair enough?
P.S.: Don't write events after the last one just yet.
As you said, there is no emotional connection to speak of, not yet. Luckily for us, you ignored certain parts of the story I proposed before.(Yes, that's lucky, as you are because I noticed, Marrend-.-)It opens up more possibilities. But more on that later! I think we better go for a step by step approach, so you will read everything. The first thing we need to take care of is the woes of our ghostie, or rather the lack of them.
Fran, when not struggling to keep her "body" in the material realm to take a few bites, in stuck in a place the size of a bedroom, completely alone save for some idiots who shrugged her off as a dream, for who knows how long, has no idea how or why she got there to begin with, and all ill she appears to feel towards her state is annoyance. It's not as bad as before, but even so, she doesn't seem to care for it most of the time. The player saving her now pits him with about as much graditude as if he squished a bug that happened to bother her for months. For most people, that's hardly how it works. She should be desperate for contact and answers by now,(assuming she hasn't gone barking mad before the two met) and it should show, so Fran has a reason to like the Player more over it. Fair enough?
P.S.: Don't write events after the last one just yet.
With Fran, the only thing I might want to re-write is allowing a "Suggest Tsubasa" option when the time comes to free Fran. Right now, the only way the "Tsuabsa path" opens is if the player has less than 10 MIND. Which seems so improbable to me that there might not be a reliable way to test that path, outside of Story Test. Which essentially translates to "might as well not exist".
Other than this, the only plan I have with Fran is that the player can still get an ending with her, regardless of which path the player is on. What kind of ending, and how Fran reacts to the player, would inevitably be linked to who it was that underwent the ritual (At the loss of a better terminology to use).
Other than this, the only plan I have with Fran is that the player can still get an ending with her, regardless of which path the player is on. What kind of ending, and how Fran reacts to the player, would inevitably be linked to who it was that underwent the ritual (At the loss of a better terminology to use).
Dozen
697
author=Marrend
With Fran, the only thing I might want to re-write is allowing a "Suggest Tsubasa" option when the time comes to free Fran.
No good.
author=Marrend
Other than this, the only plan I have with Fran is that the player can still get an ending with her, regardless of which path the player is on. What kind of ending, and how Fran reacts to the player, would inevitably be linked to who it was that underwent the ritual (At the loss of a better terminology to use).
I do have ideas about that, too. I can share. If you're interested at all, that is.
triad2
0
ok then i want to have another test release by tomarrow a christmas present from me to you but i will have to temporairly remove a story i'm waiting on a stamp of approval on it
is the main site down?
is the main site down?
Nekochi
0
author=Dozenauthor=NekochiAnd here you go, breaking your own aesop... Dissapointing. Nekochi, while I don't hold the right to refer to my kin as I feel like it, don't you think I might have a better idea what 'different' people consider offensive and what not? But since you could use a real expanation, there you have one!
I don't think mentally challenged is the correct term to use and it sounds a little insensitive to use it like that, truthfully. You might say different or weird or troublesome instead?
In my earlier years especially, but also these days on the occasion, I'm escorted to places I'm going to show up at a regular basis by a friend or a family member who tell those in charge of my condition. For a long time - totally disregarding what I asked them to do, by the way - they too avoided 'insensitive terms' in order to 'protect my feelings'. Nevermind I know exactly what they mean by what they dressed up to make it resemble a compliment, or that I'm reminded of my condition in every wake moment anyway no matter what. What they didn't realize on their own was that, if you downplay a madman's condition, others will think he's less of a madman.
By beating around the bush(which you dislike yourself, if I recall Junko's route correctly and I may dare to assume the same of you) and referring to me as 'troubled', 'different', 'special' and a lot of other words that make me vomit by now, instead of just flat out telling them 'he's hyperactive and histrionic', 'mentally challenged' or just plainly 'insane', people thought of me as an eccentric loner or a sensitive artist at worst, not the primodial chaos shaped into human form that Cluster B Personality Disorders produce. And that of course ended with me being thrown out or rejected in short notice every single time. You try hearing 'get out of here, you retard', 'go hole up in a crazy ward, fuckwad' 'look at the weirdo, he's so funny' and other real, meant insults every day of your life because of those who were supposed to help you, and we'll see what you consider insensitive. All of this can be avoided by people paying more attention to usor being told to leave in peace before it happens, not by defending our mental well-being from nonexistent blows.
After a long struggle I managed to blew their little bubble of conformity by making them realize a word does not become bad by having a use as a derogatory term - That makes as much sense if black people called each other nigger or something and some idiots thought they have self-hatred issues. We're all mature enough here to not hurt each other with swear words, we can all look up the definition of 'mentally challenged' if we want to, I very well know it fits all three of those girls and consider it degrading to my intelligence when you suggest otherwise. I'm sorry, but their hardships and suffering won't get any better if bury your head in the sand and act like it's not as bad as it looks. Keika's not sane, Kyouki's definitely not sane, and without the player's help, Junko is on the way of permanently becoming the worst of them with the stress she's under before psychs could cry 'Remote Schizoid P.D.' in unison. And they need actual help, not baby cuddle and ignorance.
I'm sorry if I offended you, but you're wrong in thinking that my idea of what terminology is offensive is coming from someone who has no experience with that sort of thing. My brother has Asperger's Syndrome, a high functioning form of autism, and I myself deal with depression and have struggled with post-traumatic stress disorder. I say that mentally challenged is offensive because it suggests that someone is somehow less of a person if they have some sort of mental illness, when what it is is an illness, something they can't help. That's not to say that it doesn't need treatment, my brother would doubtless be locked up or have killed someone by now if he hadn't had treatment, but I don't think that saying someone is "insane" helps things. I have the same reaction to that word that you do to the other terms you listed. It is an ugly, ugly word that connects people with mental disabilities with fear and the idea of danger. I worry all the time that people are going to see that my brother is different or he's going to say something in a fit of rage that gets him locked up for a long, long time or gets him shot or that because the recent shootings were done by someone who was mentally ill, it's going to change the way people view him and make his life harder. So I have an investment in this terminology too and I'm not just running at the mouth. Just because you don't find terms like mentally challenged to be offensive doesn't mean that's true of everyone who is "mentally challenged."
My objection to the term is not completely to the term itself, but to how you're using it. I don't know about Kyouki, but Keika and Junko definitely are not mentally challenged. Keika is a little spacey and she might have ADD, but that does not make someone mentally challenged. Junko is a slightly more difficult case, as she definitely has some problems in how she's dealing with her mother leaving, but she's not what I'd classify as mentally ill or "insane." I think of mentally challenged as referring to something more permanent and built in, such as autism (and even then I'd use mentally ill over mentally challenged, since mentally challenged strikes me as being too close to calling someone an idiot), something you were born with and that you'll always have to deal with and which affects your life in a major way. I might say that Junko has a mental disorder, or something that came about later and can be cured. My brother has a mental illness because Asperger's is something he's going to have to live with for his entire life which can't be cured, but can be treated. My PTSD was a mental disorder because it was something that I am mostly "cured" of.
That said, I hope you aren't offended by anything I said. I'm not going to lie, I'm a little bit ticked that you went off on me like that for making a mild suggestion and called me a hypocrite and just assumed that I have less experience with mental illness than you, but I don't want things to be awkward between us, since I'm sure neither of us meant to offend. However, in the future, I would appreciate if you would think a little more carefully before posting because there have been a couple of times that you have overreacted to things people have said and possibly hurt some feelings. I didn't want to say anything before because I don't like to say things that I know will probably be taken the wrong way, but I think I have the right to defend myself, especially when it's an issue I feel this strongly about.
@triad2
I'll get to that Junko event in just a minute.
Nekochi
0
Here's the edited Junko event. I changed a lot of the Junko lines to sound more like her. Also, I changed it so that she knew a bit about what she had to do before she agreed, since she wouldn't agree to do something without knowing what it was, even to increase her running time. Also, I fixed some punctuation and added one more Yoko line, so that Junko would at least try to deny the claims before asking Yoko how she knew.
STORY 11
CONDITION = 3 DONE
PLACE = School
ID = 26
SHOW LEFT
OTHER1
ID = 9
SHOW CENTER
DISLIKE
Why in the world would I help you with that?
ID = 26
I can think of three reasons. First, it would tick off Masashi.
ID = 0
(This isn't looking good.)
ID = 9
LIKE
Look, I may not be able to stand Masashi, but a jerk like him isn’t worth getting thrown off the team.
And that’s just what’s going to happen if we get caught.
ID = 26
Secondly, hanging around me will definitely help with that reputation you are trying to build.
ID = 9
UNFRIENDLY
W-what reputation? I have no idea what you’re talking about.
ID = 26
I think you do.
ID = 9
OTHER3
No way… How could you know about that?
ID = 26
It's not important, what is important is getting your help with this I can't do it without you.
ID = 9
LIKE
Well, you haven’t convinced me so far.
What’s the last reason?
ID = 26
I can tell you how to knock 6 seconds off of your run time.
ID = 9
OTHER1
What?
UNFRIENDLY
Hey, how come you think you can help me with my running?
DISLIKE
You don’t run! What do you know?!
ID = 0
(This is looking bad, maybe I should intervene.)
ID = 26
Your mistake isn't in running, it is in your balance.
ID = 9
NEUTRAL
My balance?
What's wrong with my balance?
ID = 26
Sorry but I won't help you unless you agree to help me.
ID = 9
LIKE
Fine, I guess I’ll help, just tell me what I need to do to improve my time.
ID = 26
Your right foot comes down with about 2.8 ounces more force than your left, so put this insole into the heel of your left shoe and you will knock at least 6 seconds off of your run time.
ID = 9
OTHER2
That’s it?
FRIENDLY
So I just need to let you into the club room and show you where Masashi sits, right? Nothing illegal?
ID = 26
And try not to laugh when his uniform falls off of him at practice.
ID = 9
LIKE
Just make sure he doesn’t end up completely naked, okay? My sister sometimes comes to practice.
ID = 0
(New rule: do not piss off Yoko.)
ID = 29
I have to go chase down my honey before he runs away.
ID = 9
UNFRIENDLY
Huh? Your honey?
ID = 26
Yeah, <player> is my honey, and has been spying on us this whole time, the naughty boy. Now I have to spank him.
ID = 9
LIKE
I, um, have to go now…
ERASE CENTER
ID = 0
(Great, running would just make things worse.)
Did you have to call me honey, threaten to spank me, and call me naughty?
ID = 26
You were the one peeping.
ID = 0
I wasn't peeping, I just happened to overhear and got curious.
ID = 26
Fine, you weren't peeping, you were unintentionally spying. Either way, don't tell anyone about this.
ID = 0
How are you going to make his clothes fall off?
ID = 26
I invented an acid that only eats fabric last night. I will coat his chair with it then 10 minutes later his clothes will fall off.
ID = 0
Don't invent such dangerous things!!!
ID = 26
Don't worry, its harmless to people and animals, even if ingested.
ID = 0
That's not the problem!
ID = 26
We better get to class, Honey! Muah!
CONDITION = 3 DONE
PLACE = School
ID = 26
SHOW LEFT
OTHER1
ID = 9
SHOW CENTER
DISLIKE
Why in the world would I help you with that?
ID = 26
I can think of three reasons. First, it would tick off Masashi.
ID = 0
(This isn't looking good.)
ID = 9
LIKE
Look, I may not be able to stand Masashi, but a jerk like him isn’t worth getting thrown off the team.
And that’s just what’s going to happen if we get caught.
ID = 26
Secondly, hanging around me will definitely help with that reputation you are trying to build.
ID = 9
UNFRIENDLY
W-what reputation? I have no idea what you’re talking about.
ID = 26
I think you do.
ID = 9
OTHER3
No way… How could you know about that?
ID = 26
It's not important, what is important is getting your help with this I can't do it without you.
ID = 9
LIKE
Well, you haven’t convinced me so far.
What’s the last reason?
ID = 26
I can tell you how to knock 6 seconds off of your run time.
ID = 9
OTHER1
What?
UNFRIENDLY
Hey, how come you think you can help me with my running?
DISLIKE
You don’t run! What do you know?!
ID = 0
(This is looking bad, maybe I should intervene.)
ID = 26
Your mistake isn't in running, it is in your balance.
ID = 9
NEUTRAL
My balance?
What's wrong with my balance?
ID = 26
Sorry but I won't help you unless you agree to help me.
ID = 9
LIKE
Fine, I guess I’ll help, just tell me what I need to do to improve my time.
ID = 26
Your right foot comes down with about 2.8 ounces more force than your left, so put this insole into the heel of your left shoe and you will knock at least 6 seconds off of your run time.
ID = 9
OTHER2
That’s it?
FRIENDLY
So I just need to let you into the club room and show you where Masashi sits, right? Nothing illegal?
ID = 26
And try not to laugh when his uniform falls off of him at practice.
ID = 9
LIKE
Just make sure he doesn’t end up completely naked, okay? My sister sometimes comes to practice.
ID = 0
(New rule: do not piss off Yoko.)
ID = 29
I have to go chase down my honey before he runs away.
ID = 9
UNFRIENDLY
Huh? Your honey?
ID = 26
Yeah, <player> is my honey, and has been spying on us this whole time, the naughty boy. Now I have to spank him.
ID = 9
LIKE
I, um, have to go now…
ERASE CENTER
ID = 0
(Great, running would just make things worse.)
Did you have to call me honey, threaten to spank me, and call me naughty?
ID = 26
You were the one peeping.
ID = 0
I wasn't peeping, I just happened to overhear and got curious.
ID = 26
Fine, you weren't peeping, you were unintentionally spying. Either way, don't tell anyone about this.
ID = 0
How are you going to make his clothes fall off?
ID = 26
I invented an acid that only eats fabric last night. I will coat his chair with it then 10 minutes later his clothes will fall off.
ID = 0
Don't invent such dangerous things!!!
ID = 26
Don't worry, its harmless to people and animals, even if ingested.
ID = 0
That's not the problem!
ID = 26
We better get to class, Honey! Muah!
Nekochi
0
author=triad2
thank you so much it's perfect
I just realized there was one line in there I forgot to delete, so check the updated version. :)
