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The Heirs of Techcatl Review

I'd give it 1 star too.
The gameplay was nonexistent, the dialogue was awful, and the story... nothing really happens there and it's all too short for any kind of characterization to take place. The only redeeming factor are the backgrounds, but even those are just average for original graphics. The sprites are mediocre to bad. A total waste of opportunity here IMO.

Hero's Sword Review

author=Seangrei
I respect your opinion. I'm Sorry you didn't like the game, and BareGamer, shut the fuck up; you havent even made a single game as of yet and you have no idea how difficult it can be to make one. Sure this game isn't great, the odds of it being so were short to none, I know that. At least I'm willing to work on my mistakes to better it for my players. And Ratty, you dissapoint me...This site isn't about bashing the games of others, it's about playing the games and giving constructive criticism or even praise. I didn't get any praise, and I'm fine with that, but next time you decide to review someone's game...Try being less of a dickwad and act like the good samaritans of RPG maker.net expect you too!
-SeanGrei

GTFO, you fucking troll >:/

EDIT: And take your clusterfruitcake of a game with you.

Super RMN Bros. Review

He has all the right to think the game sucks donkey balls, but he could've simply posted a comment on the game page instead of writing something that tries to resemble an imitation of a review that drags the game's score down and gobbles up people's makerscore (some care about it, you know).

I blame the staff member who accepted this piece of crap instead of telling Ben to revise it. Repeatedly.

Super RMN Bros. Review

author=Link_2112
This isn't the first and only game to have a high download count that people openly and constantly regard as shit. RMN is a strange parallel universe where anything can happen!

Yeah, just like Michael Bay's movies!

As for the review it's... not good. You give a thumbs down for the story in a Super Mario collaborative game, for Christ's sake! You bash the clashing graphics (that are all part of the editor)... again, in a collaborative game! That's like complaining that there's no consistency at all in the ALEX games - it makes no sense. Same with the music - it's mostly tracks from the various Mario games that were included in the editor, how can you even judge this? But yeah, they used music from Mario in a Mario game, what nerve!

But the worst part is the gameplay section. In a non-Twilight Zone review this would be the part that is the most fleshed out, with the author going into detail why this game fails as a whole and delivers a frustrating experience... NOT IN THIS REVIEW. Your whole criticism of the level design is as follows: too short, too long, too hard, too easy. What's next, stating: "I didn't like the game because it was bad. */*****"?

I give this review:


Please don't write any more reviews until you have something, ANYTHING to say about the game you're reviewing.

Phantom Legacy (Part 1) Review

Considering there are not that many bugs and most are minor I don't see how fixing them would affect the score - it wouldn't affect the game as a whole at all, the experience would be exactly the same. I don't get this argument.

And while we're on the subject of reviews I find it funny that the other 3 reviews are of the old demo which has absolutely nothing in common with the current one, and yet they *will* affect the mean score. It makes little sense if you ask me, but that's how RMN works.

Phantom Legacy (Part 1) Review

I agree with most of the review, I see no part where he's contradicting himself or talking nonsense.

OK, I'm at the boss at the top of the tower and I'm sooo confused about his barrier. Is it he or the barrier who recovers 100 HP every turn? Is the enemy with the Barrier status him or the barrier? Is the barrier invincible? How am I supposed to beat this boss?

Anyhow, going through the review in order:
- sprite graphics are from Romancing Sa-Ga 3, the chapsets are mixed (the opening is from CastleVania SOTN IIRC).
- boss battles are not very good. The bosses mostly just attack and have no real strategies, and you have no way to form your own as you have so few options. The bosses deal too much damage and you have to heal almost after every attack, and since you usually have only two party members it means only one is dealing damage and advancing the fight towards its end. They're also as fast as the party. They have too much HP and the strategy to defeat them is static, so after just a few turns you're going through the motions and not thinking at all, like an automaton. Normal fights suffer from this too (Lilith attacks, Nero attacks with the Flame, heals if necessary, but it's rare; that's it). Characters need more skills with varied effects - Nero has 3 skills that do damage and 1 that heals (at the point of the game I'm at), it's always a no brainer which to use. Lilith is even worse, she basically has a standard attack and a super attack you'll use constantly against bosses. Her third option is useless because the DBS algorithms are broken.
- puzzles were OK. BTW, I didn't even know that the "Exit Key" allowed you to leave the dungeon, as in it was optional. I thought it would be used automatically later on to advance the game.
- the bit about the trick boss fight was spot on. If I hadn't read this review beforehand I wouldn't have known you were supposed to sit there and get pounded. In FF4 it is very, very clear you should not attack your shadow, here it isn't even mentioned (that one line of dialogue is not enough).
- the story was OK, it's only the first part so I bet it'll get better. There was one cutscene I'd cut from the game (pun intended), the one with the queen and some other people who were never introduced - I had no idea who they were, what they were talking about, and overall it was a waste of two minutes of my life.
- I agree about the characterization, I think it is the part of the game that needs more polishing. Everyone is samey, they talk in a similar fashion, they don't talk about themselves only about what is going on around them, they have no quirks, and so on. They have no real personalities.
- music was great. Oh, apart from that RE2 tune, but I've played that game so many times it's like branded onto my grey matter and so felt out of place. But that's just me.
- one more thing - I hated the part where you're sightseeing the town, talking to all the NPCs, and moments later you switch to Lilith and are supposed to talk to everyone AGAIN (and let me tell you, there are a lot of NPCs in there) to find that one person who will advance the plot, and you're given to directions AT ALL, you don't even know who you're looking for. It made me want to strangle you.
- oh, passability issues - in the town you can walk on many indoor doors.
- there are secret bosses in this game? Where? I'm pretty sure the only optional encounter I found was the demon thing sprite in the desert (against two brawlers).

My rating for this game would be 7/10. It has the potential to be 8/10 or 9/10, but it needs lots of work.

Eyes Without a Face Review

This review is HILARIOUS! :D

The Way EP 1 Review

The way I see it, The Way is like the Matrix trilogy - it starts out awesome, but then takes a nosedive and never recovers. I suspect jumping the shark and nuking the fridge BOTH must have occurred somewhere along the way.

I followed The Way when the only episodes available were 1 & 2 (or maybe even just 1, it's a bit blurry), and eagerly awaited the release of each new episode. 1 was great, 2 was awesome (definitely the best of the bunch), 3 was great, but thin on the plot, then 4 came and... uhh, why am I spending so much time in a city? Isn't this game about, you know, WANDERING through the plains, and mountains, and caves, and fiery pits of hell? Isn't it the point of the whole series? But I guess as a game 4 was all right, not as good as its predecessors, but good for an RM game. Then 5 happened and it was laughably bad. Seriously, I never would have thought that it was possible to destroy such a strong franchise so quick even though there was no money involved. But I beat it, somehow. And then... then 6 came... 6... 666... I will leave it at that, because thinking about this games brings so many painful memories, oh, so painful... I hope there is a special place in hell for Lun for releasing this... ABOMINATION...

Starseed: Blood Machine Review

I still love you, you son of a bitch (aka plz come back to rpg makin').

As for what you're saying I agree wholeheartedly. And yet I know that this is all natural - after all, not many people line up to watch the newest low budget movie that eventually becomes a cult classic, but you can bet your ass they will see the latest Bay masterpiece 'cause it's been hyped to shit. That's the way it goes; unfortunately, marketing is king. You don't spend hours posting about your game, like, everywhere, seven days a week, you don't use marketing hooks and yadayada, and your game will remain obscure. Either accept it or become part of the system and ride the wave of HYPE, BABY!

A lose - lose situation?

Community support is out of the question because we are a bunch of jealous motherfuckers and we'd sooner die than help someone spread the word about their game. Because, you know, why should we? We could be spreading the word about our own game instead, right?, not wasting time on someone else's. This won't ever change; once again, it's human nature. Besides, writing is painful and requires effort and time and inspiration and GOD I'M NOT WRITING ABOUT YOUR GAME SHUT UP ALREADY!!!1 Now excuse me, I got my own vaporware to hype. PS you're a jerk, Legion, because you dare write about your game. No one is allowed to hype their game unless they're ME. HA HA HA!

BTW, your dialogue is OK, even if this game wasn't your best. Playing various indie RPG's was an eye-opener for me. Those people can't write for life! It's like they took a "How to write dialogue" kind of book and did everything IN REVERSE. It's that bad. Blood Machine is Shakespeare compared to most indie RPG's. So no need to feel down or unloved or something (psst they said it because RMN hates you not because it's bad, but you didn't hear it from me!).

LINE'S END Review

To be honest this is entirely unfunny.
Try harder next year.