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Sandfall [storyline critique]
Yay, storyline time. I don't have any screenshots here, because I'm looking for serious story critique. Be prepared for a long read (with spoilers and shit), but it would be very beneficial to my project if I could get some comments here.
Sandfall
First off, a quick backstory.
Next, characters. This will be very brief and is here pretty much so you don't get lost during the actual outline, which will be the focus of this thread.
And the last bit of information before we get into it, the map of Arizca will probably make things a bit easier to follow.
Theres actually been small changes since this map, but for the most part it works, since the relative locations of things are all the same.
And now to get into it.
Introduction
(this is told with Tate narrating and with BADASS sprite edits and animation to be really cinematic and GRAB THE PLAYER from the start.)
Tate, sleeping in desert outside of Shaw, is woken up by a biker gang zooming by. He recognizes the Dune Knight at the front of the pack and takes out his revolver and shoots someone off their bike. He hops on and follows- learning that they're chasing him because he stole something. In a badass stunt, Tate rides his jacked bike off a ramp, does a back flip and nabs the package that Dune Knight is holding (over the top and action-y and badass to get the player's attention in the opening scene).
Tate realizes that it's an ancient map (oh yes a treasure map as a mcguffin; people don't use them very often anymore!) and and takes it to Treshire- who knows runes from his time in Hazaga- to translate. Treshire says that he needs a decoder key for it- something that he had but sold it to an astronomer in Caste. Tate went to Caste and the astronomer would only sell it for a high price.
"...which brings me here." And Tate fights Ringo in a badass pit fight.
Caste City
Pit stadium: Brigg talks to Tate briefly. Tate goes to the Astronomer with the money(here we have time to explore the city and stuff). DK is there first, he takes the decoder. Tate starts to follow but the astronomer tells him that there are other decoders- if Tate chases DK he'll just get the map taken back again. When Tate leaves Caste (to go seek Treshire again), he finds his stolen motorcycle has been destroyed (it's all charred and smoking), presumably by the Dune Knight but possibly by thugs or something, as he didn't really bother to protect it and just left it leaning against the wall.
This means that we're walking. Desert Route: Caste to Shaw, through Casson. Fight some bad monsters and stuff along the way.
Shaw
Tate has the chance to explore the city while looking for his friend. Treshire's not in his shop- he's hitting on some girl at the inn/pub. He gets into a bar fight. Tate ends up backing him up and the two get thrown into the Sheriff's jail (note: the Sheriff handles local small matters even though the palace is located in the city and has a massive prison of its own -- that's for national crimes). While in the jail cell, Treshire reveals to Tate that more decoders could be found at the academy in Hazaga -- he'd stolen his as a "going away present" when he dropped out.
Ice, Talia and Maya come to the jail cell looking for Tate's map, having heard that Tate and Treshire got into a little trouble. The Sheriff is killed, Treshire is killed. Tate is knocked out, left to take the blame. Ice leaves with the map.
Shaw Palace
Trail Prep - Tate meets Morgan, his court-appointed attorney.
Courtroom Trial. A very Phoenix-Wrightish minigame of sorts. It's impossible to prove your innocence, but there are varying degrees of punishment, the worst of which is an automatic execution (game over). The other options are national prison or various positions within Pit Fight slavery.
(Cutscene: small POV switch to show Ice, Talia and Maya hanging out and doing brown-brown, etc. They realize that they need someone who can read runes in order to even use the decoder and map.)
Shaw Palace Dungeon (conditional)
Maya and Talia come to "bail out" Tate and are given the chance to visit him in his cell. They taunt him and say that they killed Issa and Ismael. Even though Tate knows that they didn't do it, he gets pissed and tries to fight them, reaching through the bars as they taunt him. The commotion alerts a guard, who puts Tate in solitary.
Morgan hears about this and comes to visit Tate -- they have sex in his cell -- Tate accidentally calls her Issa and, offended, Morgan leaves.
Shaw Pits (conditional)
Tate makes a name for himself by winning a bunch of fights. Here you can win various prizes, money, etc, and make some connections with other fighters. This opportunity, which leads to eventually getting the game's best weapon, is the primary reason why this branch is considered to be better than the dungeon branch (it's also the canon storyline when looking back on the events of the game).
Maya and Talia come to "watch" the fights when Tate has developed a reputation.They taunt him and say that they killed Issa and Ismael. Even though Tate knows that they didn't do it, he gets pissed and fights them.
Morgan hears about this and comes to visit Tate- they have sex in his cell- Tate accidentally calls her Issa and, offended, Morgan leaves. Tate is expelled from the pits for the fight with the twins, his prize money is deposited into the national bank (he can access it later). He is sent back to the palace national dungeons and put in solitary.
Shaw Palace Dungeon
Barzhad comes and frees Tate from the dungeons, saying that be believes him and he is willing to take the risk for his gut instinct if it means finding the noble rebels and finishing them off. Tate escapes into the catacombs to leave the city.
CATACOMBS dungeon. Yes, the first major dungeon comes quite a ways into the game. The catacombs let out somewhere in the desert.
Desert Route: Catacomb Exit to Hazaga.
Hazaga
Tate goes to Hazaga to search for another decoder and possibly another map -- after talking to Barzhad and learning that DK was working for Ice, he wants to find out why the Dune Knight is after the map.
At the academy a professor helps him out (the player can choose to sit in on the professor's history lecture first if he wants to get some more background about the world, otherwise he can just "wait"), saying that the map was stolen from him. DK is working for some group called Cold Blood, though the professor doesn't know anything about it. He gives Tate a copied map and a decoder and marks the X-coordinate of the Crystal City on the map -- here Tate learns that Cold Blood is after the Crystal City -- though Tate thinks it's just a legend.
DK shows up before the professor can give Tate the second coordinate -- the mercenary is looking for someone to translate his (Ice's) own copy. He chases Tate through Hazaga- they enter a ruin site and fight, causing the floor to collapse.
RUINS dungeon.
Tate and DK are separated but their paths cross a couple times as they both search for their own ways out. At one point Tate finds himself on top of the walls and can look down on Hazaga- he has a badass duel with DK here. Throughout the dungeon are murals and shit that detail the ANCIENT HISTORY of Arizca.
The commotion has obviously alerted the people to Tate's whereabouts, and considering that he is still an escaped convict, he's in a bit of trouble. When Tate and DK get out of the ruins, Dune Knight rushes off, but Barzhad arrives before Tate is arrested. Using his influence, Barzhad "takes care of it" and pretends to take him back to prison in Shaw.
Jelbediz
Barzhad drops Tate in Jelbediz and tells him to get a disguise since he's even MORE WANTED after Hazaga. Here you can also buy a horse or a motorcycle (depending on how much money you have, the only difference really is the graphics and level of badassery) to make for quick desert travel to places you've already visited. Tate buys himself a cowboy hat and a bandana to cover his lower face (oh yes).
Barzhad needs the location of Cold Blood's HQ -- Barzhad fills him in on what he knows: it's a rebel noble group etc -- Tate needs to go to Ash Fall and Caste to ask about the location f the HQ -- even with his disguise he'd be too recognizable in Shaw or Hazaga. With his horse/motorcycle he can travel between Ash Fall, Jelbediz and Caste quickly.
Ash Fall / Caste
in Caste Tate obtains the X coordinate of the CBHQ from Brigg, the guy who owns the pit fights.
In Ash Fall, where he used to live with Issa and Ismael, he obtains the Y coordinate from Monarch Ichabod III, the monarch of Arizca when Cross took over. The monarch explains that he believes that the Cross Revolution was a good thing, and is quite satisfied living in retirement in Ash Fall, as people tend to leave him alone.
Desert: Jelbediz to Cold Blood HQ. Now we know there the location is, the route to the Cold Blood HQ opens up.
COLD BLOOD HEADQUARTERS PART ONE dungeon.
Fun dungeon where you fight a bunch of noble loyalist guys to get to Ice. Ice is totally fucked up on drugs (alcohol, opium, cocaine) and can't/won't fight Tate, instead mentions that Talia and Maya have gone to do something dastardly in Shaw(but what?) -- Tate has to go stop them even though Barzhad warned him not to go there.
Desert: Cold Blood HQ to Shaw
Shaw
Before he can really get anywhere, Morgan recognizes him and begins to take him in for being a fugitive -- but changes her mind and warns him about something weird going on at the reservoir and boilerworks (Shaw houses the primary water reservoir that spreads water through pipes all over the country) -- Talia and Maya have broken in.
BOILERWORKS dungeon.
Tate stops Talia and Maya from polluting the water by activating filters and other puzzle-based shit. The theme of the dungeon is generally chasing the two around and undoing the damage that they do.
At the end they jump into the reservoir and swim through a grate that leads them to an oasis in the desert. Tate follows, but Talia and Maya get away.
Desert: Shaw to Cold Blood HQ
He will most likely stop at Shaw on the way back- if he does, Morgan helps guide him back to the CBHQ.
COLD BLOOD HEADQUARTERS PART TWO dungeon.
Palace soldiers are there after the attack by Talia and Maya on the boilerworks. Tate can infiltrate the base from previously inaccessible areas while they are busy.
Tate finds an archaeologist that was kidnapped by Talia and Maya while DK was lost in the ruins. He plots the final coordinate for the Crystal City on Tate's map. Tate also learns that Ice and the others have already headed there.
Desert: Cold Blood HQ to empty desert
There's nothing at the spot that has been marked on the map. Tate meets Ice here and Tate tries to convince Ice that the city doesn't exist. Ice is determined to find it. In a fight with Tate, Ice makes some comment about "burying" Tate in the earth or something similarly lame -- he realizes that the CC might be underground and heads to Roysten. Tate follows.
Desert: Cold Blood HQ to Roysten
Roysten
Ice and his cronies get on a climber ship. Tate has to stow away on it to follow them.
Tate is found by Talia and Maya in the cargo hold of the ship. The actual battle with the twins is framed by event choreography -- Tate kills Talia and Maya by impaling them, one-by-one, face-to-face, on a wooden pole. They hold each other and kiss and say goodbye. It's sweet, really.
Ice finds Tate and chases him through the ship, the two of them having a shootout as they go. Ice has the ship rigged to explode because he wants to get to the bottom of the Sandfall to find the CC. At one point, Ice shoots a hydraulic and a climber arm explodes. The ship tilts drastically. Tate and Ice scramble aboard, but the two fall off the end into the depths of the sandfall.
The ship explodes above them, killing off any remaining CB members. As Tate falls, he blacks out. He wakes up at the bottom of the Sandfall, Ice sitting calmly on a piece of metal wreckage not far from him.
Bottom of the Sandfall
Tate and Ice are both injured- Tate moreso. Ice has Tate's guns, and says that he didn't kill him because they're both stuck down there and he doesn't want to be alone. A tender moment with the villain where we are reminded that he isn't much more than a spoiled noble kid -- awwww.
But wait! The Dune Knight is there- he followed Ice onto the ship and down the Sandfall, survived because his armor allowed him to handle the fall. He reveals that he was captured by Cross's men after the ruins and they made him an offer he couldn't refuse -- by dismissing him of all his past charges and giving him enough money to retire, he told them everything and they sent him after Ice. Tate's name has been cleared. Ice brings up family loyalty, DK having worked for Ice's parents in the past, and DK shoots the idea down. DK decides to take down Ice and, depite his name being cleared, Tate as well and just "get everything over with".
Ice tosses Tate his guns, and the two need to team up against DK, which degenerates into a three-way fight. After the fight, Ice kicks off DK's helmet and then murders him while he is helpless. Ice takes the helmet and a few pieces of the enchanted armor and puts them on himself. He comments that it looks horrible, but he can feel the lightness and speed that the enchantment gives him.
Tate (with Ice following) navigates caves at the bottom of the Sandfall, it gets progressively colder. They eventually find the Crystal City -- it's a giant underground ice cavern. Ice remarks that he "was right all along."
CRYSTAL CITY dungeon.
Tate and Ice split up, the player controls both characters alternatively to solve puzzles.
They come to a huge ice wall with flowing water behind it. Ice talks about harnessing it for powering cities and how he can get money and power back to Cold Blood and the nobility -- that's why he wanted to pollute the water supply and give him a huge upper hand with only the Crystal City water, which would allow him a monopoly over Arizca's water supply.
Final battle: Tate and Ice. At the end, Ice breaks the wall and the underground river floods the place. The battle continues on ice drifts as the water is rushing all over the cavern and filling the place. Eventually, but Tate and Ice are knocked out in the flood.
Ending
Tate wakes up in a few inches of water, back in the passages that led to the Crystal City. Ice is nowhere to be seen. Barzhad, Cross and a few soldiers arrive at the bottom of the sandfall. They help Tate out.
A wagon in a caravan goes across the desert. Tate and Barzhad sit on the back looking out over the desert and the sunset. Tate says that he doesn't know what to do with his life next. In a way, the death of DK and Ice has allowed him to put his past behind him.
Barzhad offers him a position in a new group they are organizing that looks for noble rebels -- Cold Blood wasn't the only group, and there are certainly remaining members. Tate accepts. Fade to black, sunset, etc.
Feedback definitely appreciated and wanted. I seriously typed up all this shit with the hopes that you guys would really help me make the best that this can be.
Sandfall
First off, a quick backstory.
The country of Arizca (a desert country, similar in landscape to the American Wild West) was more or less run by corrupt nobles for generations. Four years ago, a group of exiles, led by Archer Cross, revolted against this government. They have pure intentions, but they are a little rocky and unstable in making their changes to the world. The game takes place in the aftermath of the revolution.
Next, characters. This will be very brief and is here pretty much so you don't get lost during the actual outline, which will be the focus of this thread.
Tate Nolan (24) is the main character. Playable, badass cowboy-type, uses a revolver. Five years before the events of the game, two people that he loved were kidnapped and executed for being exiles living in a major city. Tate followed them and witnessed their execution. He was traumatized by this to the point where he began aimlessly wandering around without much direction in life.
Dune Knight (56), born Kane Kord Leopold, is in possession of one of the last relics of magic left in the world (magic is long dead by the time of the story) in the form of enchanted armor. He was once a renowned mercenary and exile-hunter, but at this point is past his prime and has a hard time finding enough jobs to live a comfortable life.
Ice (25), born Milo Reddinger, is a former noble who lost his home and position during the revolution. Being a member of one of the top noble families, he was able to use his influence and name to gather many of the remaining nobles and loyalists into a group called Cold Blood. Ice canonically has a prince Albert piercing, although this never really comes up in the story.
Treshire Bell (27) dropped out of the Hazaga University of History to pursue a career hunting for artifacts in ruins. He managed to collect enough odds and ends to open up a trinket shop in Shaw. He's one of Tate's very few friends, and is knowledgeable about Arizca's history and can read the archaic language.
Barzhad Judhan (44) is the best friend of Archer Cross and as a major participant in the revolution. He doesn't have an official position in the new government, but his fame and reputation precedes him, and he tends to go wherever and do whatever we wants. He has a very strong hatred of the old nobles.
Talia and Maya Cortez (20) are twin sisters and members of Cold Blood. They serve as Ice's brute force. They were born into sexual slavery owned by a noble family, and after the revolution, they had no home, willingly devoting themselves to Ice and Cold Blood.
Dune Knight (56), born Kane Kord Leopold, is in possession of one of the last relics of magic left in the world (magic is long dead by the time of the story) in the form of enchanted armor. He was once a renowned mercenary and exile-hunter, but at this point is past his prime and has a hard time finding enough jobs to live a comfortable life.
Ice (25), born Milo Reddinger, is a former noble who lost his home and position during the revolution. Being a member of one of the top noble families, he was able to use his influence and name to gather many of the remaining nobles and loyalists into a group called Cold Blood. Ice canonically has a prince Albert piercing, although this never really comes up in the story.
Treshire Bell (27) dropped out of the Hazaga University of History to pursue a career hunting for artifacts in ruins. He managed to collect enough odds and ends to open up a trinket shop in Shaw. He's one of Tate's very few friends, and is knowledgeable about Arizca's history and can read the archaic language.
Barzhad Judhan (44) is the best friend of Archer Cross and as a major participant in the revolution. He doesn't have an official position in the new government, but his fame and reputation precedes him, and he tends to go wherever and do whatever we wants. He has a very strong hatred of the old nobles.
Talia and Maya Cortez (20) are twin sisters and members of Cold Blood. They serve as Ice's brute force. They were born into sexual slavery owned by a noble family, and after the revolution, they had no home, willingly devoting themselves to Ice and Cold Blood.
And the last bit of information before we get into it, the map of Arizca will probably make things a bit easier to follow.
Theres actually been small changes since this map, but for the most part it works, since the relative locations of things are all the same.
And now to get into it.
Introduction
(this is told with Tate narrating and with BADASS sprite edits and animation to be really cinematic and GRAB THE PLAYER from the start.)
Tate, sleeping in desert outside of Shaw, is woken up by a biker gang zooming by. He recognizes the Dune Knight at the front of the pack and takes out his revolver and shoots someone off their bike. He hops on and follows- learning that they're chasing him because he stole something. In a badass stunt, Tate rides his jacked bike off a ramp, does a back flip and nabs the package that Dune Knight is holding (over the top and action-y and badass to get the player's attention in the opening scene).
Tate realizes that it's an ancient map (oh yes a treasure map as a mcguffin; people don't use them very often anymore!) and and takes it to Treshire- who knows runes from his time in Hazaga- to translate. Treshire says that he needs a decoder key for it- something that he had but sold it to an astronomer in Caste. Tate went to Caste and the astronomer would only sell it for a high price.
"...which brings me here." And Tate fights Ringo in a badass pit fight.
Caste City
Pit stadium: Brigg talks to Tate briefly. Tate goes to the Astronomer with the money(here we have time to explore the city and stuff). DK is there first, he takes the decoder. Tate starts to follow but the astronomer tells him that there are other decoders- if Tate chases DK he'll just get the map taken back again. When Tate leaves Caste (to go seek Treshire again), he finds his stolen motorcycle has been destroyed (it's all charred and smoking), presumably by the Dune Knight but possibly by thugs or something, as he didn't really bother to protect it and just left it leaning against the wall.
This means that we're walking. Desert Route: Caste to Shaw, through Casson. Fight some bad monsters and stuff along the way.
Shaw
Tate has the chance to explore the city while looking for his friend. Treshire's not in his shop- he's hitting on some girl at the inn/pub. He gets into a bar fight. Tate ends up backing him up and the two get thrown into the Sheriff's jail (note: the Sheriff handles local small matters even though the palace is located in the city and has a massive prison of its own -- that's for national crimes). While in the jail cell, Treshire reveals to Tate that more decoders could be found at the academy in Hazaga -- he'd stolen his as a "going away present" when he dropped out.
Ice, Talia and Maya come to the jail cell looking for Tate's map, having heard that Tate and Treshire got into a little trouble. The Sheriff is killed, Treshire is killed. Tate is knocked out, left to take the blame. Ice leaves with the map.
Shaw Palace
Trail Prep - Tate meets Morgan, his court-appointed attorney.
Courtroom Trial. A very Phoenix-Wrightish minigame of sorts. It's impossible to prove your innocence, but there are varying degrees of punishment, the worst of which is an automatic execution (game over). The other options are national prison or various positions within Pit Fight slavery.
(Cutscene: small POV switch to show Ice, Talia and Maya hanging out and doing brown-brown, etc. They realize that they need someone who can read runes in order to even use the decoder and map.)
Shaw Palace Dungeon (conditional)
Maya and Talia come to "bail out" Tate and are given the chance to visit him in his cell. They taunt him and say that they killed Issa and Ismael. Even though Tate knows that they didn't do it, he gets pissed and tries to fight them, reaching through the bars as they taunt him. The commotion alerts a guard, who puts Tate in solitary.
Morgan hears about this and comes to visit Tate -- they have sex in his cell -- Tate accidentally calls her Issa and, offended, Morgan leaves.
Shaw Pits (conditional)
Tate makes a name for himself by winning a bunch of fights. Here you can win various prizes, money, etc, and make some connections with other fighters. This opportunity, which leads to eventually getting the game's best weapon, is the primary reason why this branch is considered to be better than the dungeon branch (it's also the canon storyline when looking back on the events of the game).
Maya and Talia come to "watch" the fights when Tate has developed a reputation.They taunt him and say that they killed Issa and Ismael. Even though Tate knows that they didn't do it, he gets pissed and fights them.
Morgan hears about this and comes to visit Tate- they have sex in his cell- Tate accidentally calls her Issa and, offended, Morgan leaves. Tate is expelled from the pits for the fight with the twins, his prize money is deposited into the national bank (he can access it later). He is sent back to the palace national dungeons and put in solitary.
Shaw Palace Dungeon
Barzhad comes and frees Tate from the dungeons, saying that be believes him and he is willing to take the risk for his gut instinct if it means finding the noble rebels and finishing them off. Tate escapes into the catacombs to leave the city.
CATACOMBS dungeon. Yes, the first major dungeon comes quite a ways into the game. The catacombs let out somewhere in the desert.
Desert Route: Catacomb Exit to Hazaga.
Hazaga
Tate goes to Hazaga to search for another decoder and possibly another map -- after talking to Barzhad and learning that DK was working for Ice, he wants to find out why the Dune Knight is after the map.
At the academy a professor helps him out (the player can choose to sit in on the professor's history lecture first if he wants to get some more background about the world, otherwise he can just "wait"), saying that the map was stolen from him. DK is working for some group called Cold Blood, though the professor doesn't know anything about it. He gives Tate a copied map and a decoder and marks the X-coordinate of the Crystal City on the map -- here Tate learns that Cold Blood is after the Crystal City -- though Tate thinks it's just a legend.
DK shows up before the professor can give Tate the second coordinate -- the mercenary is looking for someone to translate his (Ice's) own copy. He chases Tate through Hazaga- they enter a ruin site and fight, causing the floor to collapse.
RUINS dungeon.
Tate and DK are separated but their paths cross a couple times as they both search for their own ways out. At one point Tate finds himself on top of the walls and can look down on Hazaga- he has a badass duel with DK here. Throughout the dungeon are murals and shit that detail the ANCIENT HISTORY of Arizca.
The commotion has obviously alerted the people to Tate's whereabouts, and considering that he is still an escaped convict, he's in a bit of trouble. When Tate and DK get out of the ruins, Dune Knight rushes off, but Barzhad arrives before Tate is arrested. Using his influence, Barzhad "takes care of it" and pretends to take him back to prison in Shaw.
Jelbediz
Barzhad drops Tate in Jelbediz and tells him to get a disguise since he's even MORE WANTED after Hazaga. Here you can also buy a horse or a motorcycle (depending on how much money you have, the only difference really is the graphics and level of badassery) to make for quick desert travel to places you've already visited. Tate buys himself a cowboy hat and a bandana to cover his lower face (oh yes).
Barzhad needs the location of Cold Blood's HQ -- Barzhad fills him in on what he knows: it's a rebel noble group etc -- Tate needs to go to Ash Fall and Caste to ask about the location f the HQ -- even with his disguise he'd be too recognizable in Shaw or Hazaga. With his horse/motorcycle he can travel between Ash Fall, Jelbediz and Caste quickly.
Ash Fall / Caste
in Caste Tate obtains the X coordinate of the CBHQ from Brigg, the guy who owns the pit fights.
In Ash Fall, where he used to live with Issa and Ismael, he obtains the Y coordinate from Monarch Ichabod III, the monarch of Arizca when Cross took over. The monarch explains that he believes that the Cross Revolution was a good thing, and is quite satisfied living in retirement in Ash Fall, as people tend to leave him alone.
Desert: Jelbediz to Cold Blood HQ. Now we know there the location is, the route to the Cold Blood HQ opens up.
COLD BLOOD HEADQUARTERS PART ONE dungeon.
Fun dungeon where you fight a bunch of noble loyalist guys to get to Ice. Ice is totally fucked up on drugs (alcohol, opium, cocaine) and can't/won't fight Tate, instead mentions that Talia and Maya have gone to do something dastardly in Shaw(but what?) -- Tate has to go stop them even though Barzhad warned him not to go there.
Desert: Cold Blood HQ to Shaw
Shaw
Before he can really get anywhere, Morgan recognizes him and begins to take him in for being a fugitive -- but changes her mind and warns him about something weird going on at the reservoir and boilerworks (Shaw houses the primary water reservoir that spreads water through pipes all over the country) -- Talia and Maya have broken in.
BOILERWORKS dungeon.
Tate stops Talia and Maya from polluting the water by activating filters and other puzzle-based shit. The theme of the dungeon is generally chasing the two around and undoing the damage that they do.
At the end they jump into the reservoir and swim through a grate that leads them to an oasis in the desert. Tate follows, but Talia and Maya get away.
Desert: Shaw to Cold Blood HQ
He will most likely stop at Shaw on the way back- if he does, Morgan helps guide him back to the CBHQ.
COLD BLOOD HEADQUARTERS PART TWO dungeon.
Palace soldiers are there after the attack by Talia and Maya on the boilerworks. Tate can infiltrate the base from previously inaccessible areas while they are busy.
Tate finds an archaeologist that was kidnapped by Talia and Maya while DK was lost in the ruins. He plots the final coordinate for the Crystal City on Tate's map. Tate also learns that Ice and the others have already headed there.
Desert: Cold Blood HQ to empty desert
There's nothing at the spot that has been marked on the map. Tate meets Ice here and Tate tries to convince Ice that the city doesn't exist. Ice is determined to find it. In a fight with Tate, Ice makes some comment about "burying" Tate in the earth or something similarly lame -- he realizes that the CC might be underground and heads to Roysten. Tate follows.
Desert: Cold Blood HQ to Roysten
Roysten
Ice and his cronies get on a climber ship. Tate has to stow away on it to follow them.
It's a giant metal "ship" that connects itself to magnetic rails that run up and down the sides of the sandfall. Once it reaches a certain point it is able to reach across and pull itself to the other side to another pair of magnetic rails, then climb back up. It is powered by gears, hydraulics and a huge crew of "sailors" and engineers. They are typically very expensive luxuries that nobles used to quickly travel across the Sandfall without going around the southern tip.
Tate is found by Talia and Maya in the cargo hold of the ship. The actual battle with the twins is framed by event choreography -- Tate kills Talia and Maya by impaling them, one-by-one, face-to-face, on a wooden pole. They hold each other and kiss and say goodbye. It's sweet, really.
Ice finds Tate and chases him through the ship, the two of them having a shootout as they go. Ice has the ship rigged to explode because he wants to get to the bottom of the Sandfall to find the CC. At one point, Ice shoots a hydraulic and a climber arm explodes. The ship tilts drastically. Tate and Ice scramble aboard, but the two fall off the end into the depths of the sandfall.
The ship explodes above them, killing off any remaining CB members. As Tate falls, he blacks out. He wakes up at the bottom of the Sandfall, Ice sitting calmly on a piece of metal wreckage not far from him.
Bottom of the Sandfall
Tate and Ice are both injured- Tate moreso. Ice has Tate's guns, and says that he didn't kill him because they're both stuck down there and he doesn't want to be alone. A tender moment with the villain where we are reminded that he isn't much more than a spoiled noble kid -- awwww.
But wait! The Dune Knight is there- he followed Ice onto the ship and down the Sandfall, survived because his armor allowed him to handle the fall. He reveals that he was captured by Cross's men after the ruins and they made him an offer he couldn't refuse -- by dismissing him of all his past charges and giving him enough money to retire, he told them everything and they sent him after Ice. Tate's name has been cleared. Ice brings up family loyalty, DK having worked for Ice's parents in the past, and DK shoots the idea down. DK decides to take down Ice and, depite his name being cleared, Tate as well and just "get everything over with".
Ice tosses Tate his guns, and the two need to team up against DK, which degenerates into a three-way fight. After the fight, Ice kicks off DK's helmet and then murders him while he is helpless. Ice takes the helmet and a few pieces of the enchanted armor and puts them on himself. He comments that it looks horrible, but he can feel the lightness and speed that the enchantment gives him.
Tate (with Ice following) navigates caves at the bottom of the Sandfall, it gets progressively colder. They eventually find the Crystal City -- it's a giant underground ice cavern. Ice remarks that he "was right all along."
CRYSTAL CITY dungeon.
Tate and Ice split up, the player controls both characters alternatively to solve puzzles.
They come to a huge ice wall with flowing water behind it. Ice talks about harnessing it for powering cities and how he can get money and power back to Cold Blood and the nobility -- that's why he wanted to pollute the water supply and give him a huge upper hand with only the Crystal City water, which would allow him a monopoly over Arizca's water supply.
Final battle: Tate and Ice. At the end, Ice breaks the wall and the underground river floods the place. The battle continues on ice drifts as the water is rushing all over the cavern and filling the place. Eventually, but Tate and Ice are knocked out in the flood.
Ending
Tate wakes up in a few inches of water, back in the passages that led to the Crystal City. Ice is nowhere to be seen. Barzhad, Cross and a few soldiers arrive at the bottom of the sandfall. They help Tate out.
A wagon in a caravan goes across the desert. Tate and Barzhad sit on the back looking out over the desert and the sunset. Tate says that he doesn't know what to do with his life next. In a way, the death of DK and Ice has allowed him to put his past behind him.
Barzhad offers him a position in a new group they are organizing that looks for noble rebels -- Cold Blood wasn't the only group, and there are certainly remaining members. Tate accepts. Fade to black, sunset, etc.
Feedback definitely appreciated and wanted. I seriously typed up all this shit with the hopes that you guys would really help me make the best that this can be.
Development & Resource Guide
You have RM2K3 and XP blank templates, you might want to add these.
RMVX Tile Templates. RMVX handles tiles a little differently and a while ago I went through and made some templates explaining how they work.
You can go ahead and add those images to this thread if you want.
RMVX Tile Templates. RMVX handles tiles a little differently and a while ago I went through and made some templates explaining how they work.
You can go ahead and add those images to this thread if you want.
Super Smash Bros. Brawl
The game's amazing. I wrote in a little more detail my first experience with the game, it's here, since I don't want to paste the massive text on yet another forum. Since then, I've beaten SSE by myself and I've unlocked all the characters.
It's really a delicious game, definitely better than Melee I think.
I haven't head great luck online, but this is my friend code: 0173 0993 0846
It's really a delicious game, definitely better than Melee I think.
I haven't head great luck online, but this is my friend code: 0173 0993 0846
Sonic: the RPG
So long as they don't throw in all those shitty characters they started pumping out when the series went 3D, I'm good.
I have come to show you my sprites.
Web Layout Mockup - Feedback?
'#' is used just to show that the text is a link- the pages that they would lead to haven't been created yet.
It's all in the /kirby folder because it's hidden from the main page. And Kirby is awesome.
It's all in the /kirby folder because it's hidden from the main page. And Kirby is awesome.
Web Layout Mockup - Feedback?
Most recent layout (an actual page).
post your picture
Web Layout Mockup - Feedback?
Web Layout Mockup - Feedback?
I'm working on a new website for the Hive. What is the hive? Basically, it's my competitive Pokémon site that was developed from my irc channel, #hive. With the upcoming release of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, we're extending the site to include an online league for that game as well (most likely the hive league will more or less become an rmxp.org brawl league since I know a lot of members here are anticipating it).
Unfortunately, the current layout REALLY isnt going to cut it. It's pretty much a wordress layout that I screwed around with for a few nights. The current Hive Website can be viewed here.
I'm looking to take things in a moder modern direction. It started when I was playing around with the logo here:
Next step was to transfer the new style to a website. The early framework can be seen here:
After that I had a pretty rad bout of inspiration and tonight I came up with this:
The most current change is this one: The black navigation on the side in the one above felt like a little too much, so I brought over the green box and made it a little more uniform on the sides. There's two versions, with the columns on alternate ends.
Then there's the even MORE current one, which I did after getting a little feedback. Basically a bigger navigation (not really happy with it), and google ads instead of a useless info box.
Basically I'm looking for comments, criticism and advice. The layout is the main thing here, but any other feedback on the site would be great too.
Currently the plan is for a static HTML website with lots of interactivity and member profiles done through the forums and forum modifications. That's obviously not the ideal route for this, so if anyone has any experience with php and is willing to help me out with that end, let me know.
Unfortunately, the current layout REALLY isnt going to cut it. It's pretty much a wordress layout that I screwed around with for a few nights. The current Hive Website can be viewed here.
I'm looking to take things in a moder modern direction. It started when I was playing around with the logo here:
Next step was to transfer the new style to a website. The early framework can be seen here:
After that I had a pretty rad bout of inspiration and tonight I came up with this:
The most current change is this one: The black navigation on the side in the one above felt like a little too much, so I brought over the green box and made it a little more uniform on the sides. There's two versions, with the columns on alternate ends.
Then there's the even MORE current one, which I did after getting a little feedback. Basically a bigger navigation (not really happy with it), and google ads instead of a useless info box.
Basically I'm looking for comments, criticism and advice. The layout is the main thing here, but any other feedback on the site would be great too.
Currently the plan is for a static HTML website with lots of interactivity and member profiles done through the forums and forum modifications. That's obviously not the ideal route for this, so if anyone has any experience with php and is willing to help me out with that end, let me know.
Games - Tester
Games - Other
