GREYINVIDIA'S PROFILE

Could I ask for help with description for a game? Submission was denied because of grammar/punctuation/sentence structure.

The description:

"I never thought that curse of the past would be that, what killed me.
Yes, while you'll be reading that, I will be dead already. I can feel the poison slowly eating me from inside.

It's all because of that damned game. I get it from one of my old friends. We meet by a chance at my workplace. After little chat, he gave me CD with peculiar game.
It was titled "Townlore" - I won't forget that title.
He told me that it's supposed to be cursed. I didn't believe it back then, obviously.
After work, I decided to try playing that game.
It was simple and pretty boring, actually.
Only interesting part of it was that it used real time.
I thought that maybe at certain time something interesting would occur.
I got back to game every hour. Until then...

To anybody who tries to play it after my death:

DON’T PLAY THIS GAME LATE AT NIGHT.
DON’T GO INTO THE FOREST.
FOLLOW THE RULESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"

Thanks in advance :).

Oh, I've also played Happy Birthday and I felt it suffers from the same thing - sometimes you had to just blindly show every item you had to every character to try and progress in the game. Altrough that's how usual mystery solving games work, it is still frustrating, as it kills feeling of being a detective. Plus for me is that game was loosely inspired by visual novel "When the Seaguls Cry" (or at least I get such feeling). I haven't really played any other games, but still I wouldn't really say that Happy Birthday had that great of story. Everything was pretty much obvious before even going on the first floor.

If anything, I'd say that Misadventures of Detective Butler ( http://rpgmaker.net/games/5470/ ) tells far more interesting story, altrough it is more of a visual novel, than actual game.

Hm... kinda cool to see Divinity Fatum on the list. Altrough not popular, nice to see it somehow appreciated.