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Battle Testing is a slow process
I personally like the asthetics of the pixel portraits more anyhow. The art drawn for the gba game never sat right with me. Always vastly preferred the original artwork for both snes games.
post your picture
Uh? Do you guys listen to music?
Newbiest question ever? (RPG Maker 2000)
download winrar or 7zip
open rar file in program
press extract.
find gam
play gam
first of all, are you doing the above steps? like, unzipping the files first?
open rar file in program
press extract.
find gam
play gam
first of all, are you doing the above steps? like, unzipping the files first?
Mafia...IN SPACE
this is the small setting for text lol
------------
Private First Class Geodude turned the white, rectangular device over in his hands. He glanced back towards the late Commander's lacquered desk and then back to the rectangle.
Ain't the 21st century anymore. No wonder you got smoked. What is this thing, anyway?
Geodude fiddled with the wheel on the front of the device. He chuckled upon realizing it was a device for playing music. He had never seen one so large.
"Let's see if you had more taste than brains."
You can find me in the parking lot
By the car a lot-where we spark a lot
Up in the hallway it be dark a lot
We don't talk to cops cause we all be hot
"Hey. Not too shabby."
Geodude glanced over to the monitor and grinned. His cryptographic sequencer seemed to have done the job, although it had certainly taken its sweet time. He had been skeptical of the device's capabilities when he had been first issued the device by HQ, but it seemed to be the real deal.
"Let's see... Security records. Last night....3:00 A.M."
Geodude watched in silence as he watched the tape that had been dubbed "Airlock Experiment #1" by the ship's computer. He nodded and downloaded the clip to his PDA. The evidence would be helpful for when the bodies were presented to HQ.
"Guess they don't too much emphasis on the practice of 'hitting targets' at the policenauts academy."
Geodude rose from the executive chair and made to leave, pausing only to slip the music device into his pocket. He did not notice the monitor shutting down of its own accord.
Homey you need to get you somethin new (why not)
Geodude paused momentarily upon exiting the Commander's room. None of the ship's lighting was on.
"If this is the best they can do, well..." He chuckled.
He turned a dial on the helmet of his bulky, gray space marine armor. As his night vision kicked in, he realized that the safest thing to do would probably involve turning off the music player in his pocket.
"As if. No need to act the adult when you tangle with moppets."
He shouldered his assault rifle.
Shit I'm ridin somethin green, somethin blue (why not)
Geodude reached his destination shortly. He inserted his cryptographic sequencer into the ID slot. Nothing happened. He did it again. Nothing continued to happen.
"Whole reactor must be offline...FUCK. I don't have time to wait till tomorrow. Fuck. Fuck. Reactor."
They gon' respect it when a gangsta come through (why not)
He saw the problem immediately upon entering. One of the field generators was not secured. He quickly grabbed a wrench and went to work. After securing the generator, he began to insert plasma tanks into the collection arrays. He was almost done when the android crashed into him with an inhuman shriek.
They doin numbers, we'll do somethin too (why not)
An avalanche of metal and apathy fell on him, lifting his armored body into the air before slamming it against the ground. Geodude felt the air driven out of him as the assault rifle was torn from his grasp. His fist lanced up to hit his assailant, but each blow only served to make his bones chatter.
He punched it again, again, again, but it did not feel. He made a move to grab his knife, but the android went for his wrist in turn. With its free other hand, the pretender removed Geodude's helmet in one clean motion.
"NO."
Geodude's muscles bulged and strained. With an inhuman fury to match his attacker's marked coldness, he torn his wrist away from the android's grasp and threw the machine off. He could no longer see, but it did not matter. He could hear the clunking beast. He dove for his assault rifle, somersaulting and shouldering it with expert finesse. A rain of bullets screamed down on the android. And then all was still.
Geodude gasped and panted. It had been stronger than he expected. Nothing the Corps couldn't handle, though. He was so drunk on his own machismo that he never heard the second intruder's footsteps. Only the bullet from Shinan's stolen revolver.
He awoke five minutes later, his limbs bound and his body unarmored. His head seemed curiously light. There was something wet. Why was it wet.
"waahrh taiis"
"Yes, yes. I know. I understand. It IS incredibly hard to speak without the better part of your jaw. You must be patient, though! You seem to have done a number on my companion."
"aaaaaaabblbl"
"Oh, that's right. You can't see me, can you? Here you are!"
You can find me in the parking lot
An unknown pair of hands placed Geodude's helmet back onto his head. A familiar man wearing thermal goggles and a labcoat stood before him.
"I expect I will be able to repair him quite easily, however. Only the internal power supply is damaged. I happen to have a replacement. The rest can be patched."
By the car a lot-where we spark a lot
"That said, I must commend you." The man rubbed his chin in thought. "Due to your decision to play this..."music," I was quite sure that my friend here would have no problem taking you unawares by himself. If I hadn't come down here to see what was taking so long...oh my. That aside, what say you and I power up this reactor? I notice you've done most of the work by yourself. mmmhm. How considerate."
Up in the hallway it be dark a lot
The goggled man proceeded to drag Geodude towards the single empty collection array, leaving a trail of blood behind him. He could feel himself spiraling down into the dark. He could not even protest. There was a storm behind his eyes. Fire filled his lungs. The pain was brief.
We don't talk to cops cause we all be hot
-----------------------------------
is the fact that these death scenes are supposed to be funny coming off correctly?? i think they might only be funny to me
Day 2 begins! Jesus Christ! The Space Marine, Geodude, has perished! You guys....things are not looking very good for you! Three town remain, two mafia remain!
Americanization
author=Emanzi
I agree the american ice skaters look like whores,
why.
seriously, why. I would like one of you to try to seriously justify a: this sentiment and b: why you think it is okay to say this.
the fact that you are upset about zac efron who is actually not at all a bad actor "gaying up" death note, an anime known primarily for its homoerotic tension, is funny i guess.
I hate Americanization, why don't they just keep things how the creators made it if it doesn't sell then everyone else can eat dog.
gee i don't know perhaps it is because our two cultures are very different and the primary purpose of the people making these changes is to make the game sell better. do you really expect them to not change anything and just say "these gaijin...they know nothing. who cares. who needs money." americanization ruined everything? seriously? like this thread makes me so incredibly irritated beyond all the misogyny because people care so much about such a non-issue. bad-quality dubs are basically a thing of the past save for special cases like chaos wars but if you know about that you know it really has more to do with extra chromosomes than nationality. i can not think of a single port to america that has had any part of the plot changed other than nixing retarded rape backstories. ted woolsey did the most sweeping changes that i am aware of and they are widely regarded by everyone with taste as great.
Dungeons and Drag-Queens
Session 4 with Jericho AKA "Lance Spearstrong." Bonus terrifying bloopers at the end! I won't even be formatting it! RAW. UNCUT. UNCENSORED.
00:48 DragMaster Ok... That was weird
00:48 DragMaster Well anyways
00:49 DragMaster DDQ is like a text based choose your own adventure
00:49 DragMaster You decide what to do with what I provide and we go from there
00:50 DragMaster If you need to know what's in your pack, just ask "Inventory"
00:50 jericho INVENTORY INVENTORY INVENTORY INVENTORY INVENTORY INVENTORY INVENTORY INVENTORY INVENTORY INVENTORY
00:50 DragMaster Ok... We begin.
00:51 DragMaster Lol you have a spear, a night cap, and a half-eaten sandwich
00:51 jericho ah, yes. continue
00:52 DragMaster You start under a shady tree, the wind is brisk, and the day is beautiful. The only problem is the troll yelling at you for eating half his sandwich.
00:52 jericho is this like a lord of the rings troll or like an everquest troll
00:53 DragMaster It is actually a farmers wife who is just ugly enough to fit the description.
00:53 DragMaster (ps- can you save this? I'm on my phone and can't copy-paste)
00:54 jericho I ain't taking no guff from some run of the mill garden troll. I take what I wants. I brandish my spear at that lady and yell some fantasy slurs all up at her.
00:54 jericho also yes
00:55 DragMaster Ok she gets furious at your harsh words of yore and raises her dooks. It's a fight.
00:55 DragMaster Dukes*
00:57 jericho I, uh. don't know how fights are resolved. I guess I don't really want to kill a lady after all. I'm gonna try to hold my spear the wrong way and brain her over the head with it.
00:58 DragMaster Haha that's exactly how fights are: like any action just decide what you do and I'll go from there
00:59 DragMaster Ok, she is beaned good, but her skull is too thick, she grapples with you and tries to take back her tuna fish remains of a sandwich
01:00 DragMaster (I roll a 6-sided die to determine most outcomes)
01:04 jericho HRRM
01:04 DragMaster Trolls are stubborn housewives
01:04 DragMaster Lol
01:04 jericho I let go of the sandwich, recalling that I hate tuna fish. I will take this opportunity to flee if she is sufficiently distracted.
01:05 DragMaster You manage to escape just in ti
01:06 DragMaster Time to hear her gnashing jowls on the sandwich. She is hungry for more and sees you in what appears to be a wide grassland. She gives chase with a hungry expression.
01:06 DragMaster (geez bad rolls!)
01:07 jericho alright fuck that noise. turning my spear around to business mode and aiming for her heart
01:09 DragMaster You clearly have practiced hands at spearmanship as the weapons sinks true into and through her big warm heart. The impact of your amazing blow sends a rift of power through the air causing the troll of a women to explode into a million meaty chunks.
01:09 jericho woah. uh. gross. I'm filling my nightcap up with troll meat.
01:11 DragMaster With your nightcap full of succulent, fresh troll meat, the day is your oyster. To the distant north you see a small village, the south a river, the east the tree you just left and to the west, your old friend and lover, Frivilor the elf queen.
01:14 jericho hmmm, seeing Frivilor would probably be worth it, but by this game's standards an elf queen is probably like a christmas elf. I'm heading into the village to find a butcher so I can sell this troll meat.
01:14 jericho or, like, have it made into jerky.
01:17 DragMaster It is a few hours by foot, but the day is too splendid to waste sitting about anyhow. When you arrive in the village you see it is composed of five gaul houses and surrounded by a wood spike wall. The center of the town is a large firepit, around which the houses are built. There is three people in the area. Two children playing, and an old woman watching over them
01:17 DragMaster (elf queen is a gay elf mwahaha)
01:18 jericho Gonna ask that old lady about news in these here parts. glad I dodged that bullet.
01:21 DragMaster The old Gaul woman looks at you with suspicion, especially at your bloody spear. She says, in a cracking voice of age, "Nothing ever happens here. Well, except that the men have all gone to fight the Rumpturnip army, again."
01:21 jericho "Hmmm...Nothing, you say? Perhaps a morsel of troll meat would loosen your tongue.."
01:22 DragMaster The woman's lips moisten by a quick darting tongue. She looks suspiciously around, as everything is suspicious to her. "Is it fresh?"
01:24 jericho "Oh yes, of course. See for yourself." I toss her a good looking piece.
01:28 DragMaster The woman takes no time in salivating and swallows the chunk of dark red meat like a seagull shelling a clam. When she the meat was churning in her belly, the lady squirmed. "there was something, I heard. One of the men off to fight was slain, leaving a widow behind... She is the cook's wife, and apparently very upset about it all, there was also the recent uprising of pirate goblins in the nearby forest eating all our boar, and..." she
01:28 DragMaster swallowed. "... Words of Dragons in the far north..."
01:32 jericho I'm gonna go see the cook's wife. These are my priorities: A. Get some of this meat made into rations. B. Give her the rest to distribute amongst the town in some kind of dumb stew or whatever since them boars is dead. C. If I am not completely gay, attempt to sleep with her and rob her blind in the night.
01:33 jericho really the first two things are just to impress her.
01:36 DragMaster You find the cook's house. It is simple, hung with furs and the only hut with a stone fire. The wife is a tall blonde, with curves in all the right places. She is crying as you enter and smiling in bed beside you smoking a cigarette by the end of the night. As you collect the valuables, mostly rare fur and three rubies, the blonde wakes up. She sees what you are doing and begs to come with you, this village holds nothing for her but haun
01:36 DragMaster memories now.
01:36 DragMaster Fireplace*
01:38 jericho She sees me stealing her stuff?
01:38 DragMaster Yes
01:39 jericho NO WITNESSES. SPEAR THAT LADY NOW AND MAKE HER INTO STEW. (metal spear)
01:39 DragMaster Apparently you're that good in bed
01:39 jericho oh
01:39 jericho uh
01:39 jericho too late
01:39 DragMaster Hahaha
01:40 DragMaster You find the troll stew cooking slowly already and mix the Cook Wife in. The aroma is mesmerizing. In a few hours you are able to put the stew into ten plastic tubberware, and leave in the dead of night.
01:42 jericho Oh, good, I'm gonna head into goblin territory soon. BUT BEFORE I DO I am going to look around for poisonous herbs of any kind.
01:44 DragMaster Using your cunning cat-like nightvision that all spearmen share, you notice and collect deadly Rhubarb, being careful to use a fur to pick them up, as they are deadly and acidic to the touch
01:45 jericho Ah, yes. I mix as much as I can into the stew, trying to make as many containers deadly as possible.
01:47 DragMaster To your credit, the years spent apprenticing under your alchemy and medical professors, you are able to create 6 Deadly Rhubarb Wife stews
01:47 DragMaster With the years *
01:48 *** Dudesoft joined #powerup
01:48 Dudesoft Sorry
01:48 jericho Alright. Now I head into goblin territory trying to make myself noticable. Probably by saying "YO GOBLINSSSS" or something
01:49 *** Dudesoft is now known as iDragMaster
01:50 iDragMaster Suddenly 8 pirate goblins swing down from the trees, brandishing cutlasses and hook hands, while saying things like "Arr", "Avast", and "Walk th' plank!"
01:51 *** DragMaster quit (Ping timeout)
01:51 *** iDragMaster is now known as DragMaster
01:55 jericho "Greetings, my goblin friends! I, Ambassador Eggington, have been sent here by Prince Valtez of the Rumpturnips! Tales of the bravery and valor of the goblin pirates have reached even my liege's ears. It is my lord's wish that we negotiate an alliance. The Rumpturnip kingdom has an interest in these lands, you see, but lacks the military discipline as of now
01:57 jericho to hold them. This is why I have come to seek you out, for your protection. I offer you these rare furs and rubies as a token of our good will. In addition, I have brought a succulent stew to dine on while we discuss terms." I gesture to one of the unpoisoned containers. "Perhaps we may retreat to your base of operations to speak further?"
02:01 DragMaster The boldest of the eight steps forward, making sure to limp on a fake wooden leg. "I, Captain Blackbeard, says we has an accord." and so, led by the cosplayers, you find yourself deep in the forest, surrounded by a hundred and three goblin pirates. They are still recovering from a naked man having run through earlier that day. He had killed many on his run, merely from his feet pounding them to mush by mistake, so really, there's only ab
02:01 DragMaster goblins left, and 95 dead goblin pirates.
02:02 jericho ...cosplayers...
02:02 jericho GODDAMNIT WHY DID I PREPARE FOR THIS
02:03 DragMaster Haha
02:04 jericho oh well. I ain't lettin that poisoned brew go to waste. "Let's dig in!" but pretend I said that like a diplomat. "Here, as I am a guest in your lands, it is only correct for me to serve." I dole out the poison stew to everyone, including myself. I contemplate the life decisions that have led me up to this point and seriously consider poisoning myself
02:04 jericho but I just pretend to eat in the end.
02:06 DragMaster Your brew works wonders, all the rhubarb poison eats through the goblins, erasing them into greenish-yellow muck from the inside-out
02:07 DragMaster Man.
02:07 jericho Gross. I'm taking "my" rubies and furs back...unless...they have been ruined by goblin muck. and searching these guys for their pilfer.
02:08 jericho I can't even believe I prepared a ruse thinking there was gonna be like fifty actual goblins with pointy teeth and stuff. Does my character believe in god? if so not anymore
02:09 DragMaster The goblin village is ripe with valuables, and in one of the houses you find a Mage eating roast boar and the picture of beauty, a farm girl, sitting beside him.
02:09 jericho is this a human or "goblin" mage
02:10 jericho because I have developed a strict no tolerance policy when it comes to goblins.
02:10 DragMaster Human
02:10 DragMaster They are both human
02:10 jericho Alright. "Why are you two in the goblin village. Also uh there are no more goblins sorry."
02:12 DragMaster The Mage pauses mid-bite. "No more? What a shame! They bring us boar and mead daily!" the farmgirl looks most pleased, "all of them are gone...for good?"
02:14 jericho "Yes. For good. Also, you didn't answer my first question. what do you mean they ' bring you boar.' Are you...are you responsible for the movements of the goblin pirates, mage man?"
02:18 DragMaster The Mage chuckled, "oh excuse me... Where are my manners?" the Mage rubs off some gross boar meat slime on his robes and offers his hand to shake. "my name is Stranger Von Hiddenface, and this is... Uh, she doesn't have a name. We came here a few days ago by road from Trioville with a man named Lee Baker. Has he returned yet? It's a tad boring being held prisoner by a bunch of Pirates of the Carribean fanatics."
02:20 jericho "Uhh, nope. Haven't seen him. Unless he was actually a troll woman, a regular woman, or a goblin pirate. In which case I have definitely not seen them. Anyway, I am totally about to go mess up some dragons with my spear. Just like I did with these goblins. Totally. Spear." I look over the top of my sunglasses which I totally have. "You in?"
02:26 DragMaster "Does a buffalo not eat cabbage when it's starving to death?!" Stranger Von Hiddenface stands up and palms his fist. Sparks fly in all directions. The hut you're in catches fire so you all walk away just in time as a propane tank explodes in slow motion. Once you're clear, Stranger says, " Everyone I know calls me Bob." then Bob and the farmgirl who is a beautiful virgin by day, cake baker by night, join your party and disappear into a p
02:26 DragMaster dimension in your pants, where they await your command.
02:27 jericho wait. I have pants? This changes everything!
02:27 jericho i have to be off. I think this is a good "chapter end stop point"
02:28 jericho "thing"
02:28 DragMaster Yup
02:28 DragMaster Sounds good! Great session
02:29 jericho do you want me to post this in your thread or send it to you?/?~~~
02:35 DragMaster Oh sure!
02:35 DragMaster Thatd be great!
02:35 jericho OH SURE?? WHICH ONE....
02:35 jericho AAA
02:36 DragMaster Uh
02:36 DragMaster Don't make me happy... You wouldn't like me when I'm happy!
02:37 DragMaster Oops
02:37 jericho what
00:48 DragMaster Well anyways
00:49 DragMaster DDQ is like a text based choose your own adventure
00:49 DragMaster You decide what to do with what I provide and we go from there
00:50 DragMaster If you need to know what's in your pack, just ask "Inventory"
00:50 jericho INVENTORY INVENTORY INVENTORY INVENTORY INVENTORY INVENTORY INVENTORY INVENTORY INVENTORY INVENTORY
00:50 DragMaster Ok... We begin.
00:51 DragMaster Lol you have a spear, a night cap, and a half-eaten sandwich
00:51 jericho ah, yes. continue
00:52 DragMaster You start under a shady tree, the wind is brisk, and the day is beautiful. The only problem is the troll yelling at you for eating half his sandwich.
00:52 jericho is this like a lord of the rings troll or like an everquest troll
00:53 DragMaster It is actually a farmers wife who is just ugly enough to fit the description.
00:53 DragMaster (ps- can you save this? I'm on my phone and can't copy-paste)
00:54 jericho I ain't taking no guff from some run of the mill garden troll. I take what I wants. I brandish my spear at that lady and yell some fantasy slurs all up at her.
00:54 jericho also yes
00:55 DragMaster Ok she gets furious at your harsh words of yore and raises her dooks. It's a fight.
00:55 DragMaster Dukes*
00:57 jericho I, uh. don't know how fights are resolved. I guess I don't really want to kill a lady after all. I'm gonna try to hold my spear the wrong way and brain her over the head with it.
00:58 DragMaster Haha that's exactly how fights are: like any action just decide what you do and I'll go from there
00:59 DragMaster Ok, she is beaned good, but her skull is too thick, she grapples with you and tries to take back her tuna fish remains of a sandwich
01:00 DragMaster (I roll a 6-sided die to determine most outcomes)
01:04 jericho HRRM
01:04 DragMaster Trolls are stubborn housewives
01:04 DragMaster Lol
01:04 jericho I let go of the sandwich, recalling that I hate tuna fish. I will take this opportunity to flee if she is sufficiently distracted.
01:05 DragMaster You manage to escape just in ti
01:06 DragMaster Time to hear her gnashing jowls on the sandwich. She is hungry for more and sees you in what appears to be a wide grassland. She gives chase with a hungry expression.
01:06 DragMaster (geez bad rolls!)
01:07 jericho alright fuck that noise. turning my spear around to business mode and aiming for her heart
01:09 DragMaster You clearly have practiced hands at spearmanship as the weapons sinks true into and through her big warm heart. The impact of your amazing blow sends a rift of power through the air causing the troll of a women to explode into a million meaty chunks.
01:09 jericho woah. uh. gross. I'm filling my nightcap up with troll meat.
01:11 DragMaster With your nightcap full of succulent, fresh troll meat, the day is your oyster. To the distant north you see a small village, the south a river, the east the tree you just left and to the west, your old friend and lover, Frivilor the elf queen.
01:14 jericho hmmm, seeing Frivilor would probably be worth it, but by this game's standards an elf queen is probably like a christmas elf. I'm heading into the village to find a butcher so I can sell this troll meat.
01:14 jericho or, like, have it made into jerky.
01:17 DragMaster It is a few hours by foot, but the day is too splendid to waste sitting about anyhow. When you arrive in the village you see it is composed of five gaul houses and surrounded by a wood spike wall. The center of the town is a large firepit, around which the houses are built. There is three people in the area. Two children playing, and an old woman watching over them
01:17 DragMaster (elf queen is a gay elf mwahaha)
01:18 jericho Gonna ask that old lady about news in these here parts. glad I dodged that bullet.
01:21 DragMaster The old Gaul woman looks at you with suspicion, especially at your bloody spear. She says, in a cracking voice of age, "Nothing ever happens here. Well, except that the men have all gone to fight the Rumpturnip army, again."
01:21 jericho "Hmmm...Nothing, you say? Perhaps a morsel of troll meat would loosen your tongue.."
01:22 DragMaster The woman's lips moisten by a quick darting tongue. She looks suspiciously around, as everything is suspicious to her. "Is it fresh?"
01:24 jericho "Oh yes, of course. See for yourself." I toss her a good looking piece.
01:28 DragMaster The woman takes no time in salivating and swallows the chunk of dark red meat like a seagull shelling a clam. When she the meat was churning in her belly, the lady squirmed. "there was something, I heard. One of the men off to fight was slain, leaving a widow behind... She is the cook's wife, and apparently very upset about it all, there was also the recent uprising of pirate goblins in the nearby forest eating all our boar, and..." she
01:28 DragMaster swallowed. "... Words of Dragons in the far north..."
01:32 jericho I'm gonna go see the cook's wife. These are my priorities: A. Get some of this meat made into rations. B. Give her the rest to distribute amongst the town in some kind of dumb stew or whatever since them boars is dead. C. If I am not completely gay, attempt to sleep with her and rob her blind in the night.
01:33 jericho really the first two things are just to impress her.
01:36 DragMaster You find the cook's house. It is simple, hung with furs and the only hut with a stone fire. The wife is a tall blonde, with curves in all the right places. She is crying as you enter and smiling in bed beside you smoking a cigarette by the end of the night. As you collect the valuables, mostly rare fur and three rubies, the blonde wakes up. She sees what you are doing and begs to come with you, this village holds nothing for her but haun
01:36 DragMaster memories now.
01:36 DragMaster Fireplace*
01:38 jericho She sees me stealing her stuff?
01:38 DragMaster Yes
01:39 jericho NO WITNESSES. SPEAR THAT LADY NOW AND MAKE HER INTO STEW. (metal spear)
01:39 DragMaster Apparently you're that good in bed
01:39 jericho oh
01:39 jericho uh
01:39 jericho too late
01:39 DragMaster Hahaha
01:40 DragMaster You find the troll stew cooking slowly already and mix the Cook Wife in. The aroma is mesmerizing. In a few hours you are able to put the stew into ten plastic tubberware, and leave in the dead of night.
01:42 jericho Oh, good, I'm gonna head into goblin territory soon. BUT BEFORE I DO I am going to look around for poisonous herbs of any kind.
01:44 DragMaster Using your cunning cat-like nightvision that all spearmen share, you notice and collect deadly Rhubarb, being careful to use a fur to pick them up, as they are deadly and acidic to the touch
01:45 jericho Ah, yes. I mix as much as I can into the stew, trying to make as many containers deadly as possible.
01:47 DragMaster To your credit, the years spent apprenticing under your alchemy and medical professors, you are able to create 6 Deadly Rhubarb Wife stews
01:47 DragMaster With the years *
01:48 *** Dudesoft joined #powerup
01:48 Dudesoft Sorry
01:48 jericho Alright. Now I head into goblin territory trying to make myself noticable. Probably by saying "YO GOBLINSSSS" or something
01:49 *** Dudesoft is now known as iDragMaster
01:50 iDragMaster Suddenly 8 pirate goblins swing down from the trees, brandishing cutlasses and hook hands, while saying things like "Arr", "Avast", and "Walk th' plank!"
01:51 *** DragMaster quit (Ping timeout)
01:51 *** iDragMaster is now known as DragMaster
01:55 jericho "Greetings, my goblin friends! I, Ambassador Eggington, have been sent here by Prince Valtez of the Rumpturnips! Tales of the bravery and valor of the goblin pirates have reached even my liege's ears. It is my lord's wish that we negotiate an alliance. The Rumpturnip kingdom has an interest in these lands, you see, but lacks the military discipline as of now
01:57 jericho to hold them. This is why I have come to seek you out, for your protection. I offer you these rare furs and rubies as a token of our good will. In addition, I have brought a succulent stew to dine on while we discuss terms." I gesture to one of the unpoisoned containers. "Perhaps we may retreat to your base of operations to speak further?"
02:01 DragMaster The boldest of the eight steps forward, making sure to limp on a fake wooden leg. "I, Captain Blackbeard, says we has an accord." and so, led by the cosplayers, you find yourself deep in the forest, surrounded by a hundred and three goblin pirates. They are still recovering from a naked man having run through earlier that day. He had killed many on his run, merely from his feet pounding them to mush by mistake, so really, there's only ab
02:01 DragMaster goblins left, and 95 dead goblin pirates.
02:02 jericho ...cosplayers...
02:02 jericho GODDAMNIT WHY DID I PREPARE FOR THIS
02:03 DragMaster Haha
02:04 jericho oh well. I ain't lettin that poisoned brew go to waste. "Let's dig in!" but pretend I said that like a diplomat. "Here, as I am a guest in your lands, it is only correct for me to serve." I dole out the poison stew to everyone, including myself. I contemplate the life decisions that have led me up to this point and seriously consider poisoning myself
02:04 jericho but I just pretend to eat in the end.
02:06 DragMaster Your brew works wonders, all the rhubarb poison eats through the goblins, erasing them into greenish-yellow muck from the inside-out
02:07 DragMaster Man.
02:07 jericho Gross. I'm taking "my" rubies and furs back...unless...they have been ruined by goblin muck. and searching these guys for their pilfer.
02:08 jericho I can't even believe I prepared a ruse thinking there was gonna be like fifty actual goblins with pointy teeth and stuff. Does my character believe in god? if so not anymore
02:09 DragMaster The goblin village is ripe with valuables, and in one of the houses you find a Mage eating roast boar and the picture of beauty, a farm girl, sitting beside him.
02:09 jericho is this a human or "goblin" mage
02:10 jericho because I have developed a strict no tolerance policy when it comes to goblins.
02:10 DragMaster Human
02:10 DragMaster They are both human
02:10 jericho Alright. "Why are you two in the goblin village. Also uh there are no more goblins sorry."
02:12 DragMaster The Mage pauses mid-bite. "No more? What a shame! They bring us boar and mead daily!" the farmgirl looks most pleased, "all of them are gone...for good?"
02:14 jericho "Yes. For good. Also, you didn't answer my first question. what do you mean they ' bring you boar.' Are you...are you responsible for the movements of the goblin pirates, mage man?"
02:18 DragMaster The Mage chuckled, "oh excuse me... Where are my manners?" the Mage rubs off some gross boar meat slime on his robes and offers his hand to shake. "my name is Stranger Von Hiddenface, and this is... Uh, she doesn't have a name. We came here a few days ago by road from Trioville with a man named Lee Baker. Has he returned yet? It's a tad boring being held prisoner by a bunch of Pirates of the Carribean fanatics."
02:20 jericho "Uhh, nope. Haven't seen him. Unless he was actually a troll woman, a regular woman, or a goblin pirate. In which case I have definitely not seen them. Anyway, I am totally about to go mess up some dragons with my spear. Just like I did with these goblins. Totally. Spear." I look over the top of my sunglasses which I totally have. "You in?"
02:26 DragMaster "Does a buffalo not eat cabbage when it's starving to death?!" Stranger Von Hiddenface stands up and palms his fist. Sparks fly in all directions. The hut you're in catches fire so you all walk away just in time as a propane tank explodes in slow motion. Once you're clear, Stranger says, " Everyone I know calls me Bob." then Bob and the farmgirl who is a beautiful virgin by day, cake baker by night, join your party and disappear into a p
02:26 DragMaster dimension in your pants, where they await your command.
02:27 jericho wait. I have pants? This changes everything!
02:27 jericho i have to be off. I think this is a good "chapter end stop point"
02:28 jericho "thing"
02:28 DragMaster Yup
02:28 DragMaster Sounds good! Great session
02:29 jericho do you want me to post this in your thread or send it to you?/?~~~
02:35 DragMaster Oh sure!
02:35 DragMaster Thatd be great!
02:35 jericho OH SURE?? WHICH ONE....
02:35 jericho AAA
02:36 DragMaster Uh
02:36 DragMaster Don't make me happy... You wouldn't like me when I'm happy!
02:37 DragMaster Oops
02:37 jericho what
Mafia...IN SPACE
NIGHT 2 BEGINS 4 REAL
---------------
"Computer. Play that recording again."
---------------
"Yeah, okay. Just gonna meet you outside the escape pods. Got a tip about a mad scientist. Does Brainlord think I'm one of those inbreds staffing Space Station 13?"
Shinan paced back and forth, more nervous than he would have liked to admit. He had been a cop for ten years before policenaut training, but he still felt out of his element. Things were different up here. It's always night up here.
"Eerrrgh."
Shinan put his hands against the wall and began to do calf stretches. How did this guy even know I'm a cop? Wait, could it be...
He jerked around as he heard the door to the escape pod corridor open up. His anxiety was relieved instantly.
"Oh, it's you."
"You look tense."
"Haha, well, wasn't sure who was gonna show up."
"You've always worried too much. I would have thought graduation would have made you more of a man."
"Ha, why don't you go jerk yourself off, you dick. Anyway, this tip serious or what?"
"Yeah. Smoke?"
"Sure."
Shinan took the offered moslem brand cigarette. Calling them smokes, he thought, had always been a bit silly. But whatever. He broke the moslem and began to inhale.
"Say, you should probably go to the Commander with this too."
"I have already been to see our dear Commander."
Fire scoured Shinan's face and blackened the inside of his mouth as his cigarette exploded. HE would later remember drawing his revolver and the sound of a bullet ricocheting off of an airlock door, but not as much as he remembered his surprise to find out that the artificial gravity had been disabled when the moslem exploded. Shinan careened back ten feet and slammed his head against the corridor wall. Light ran jumped across his eyes when his knees cracked against the floor as the artificial gravity resumed functioning. He was then dimly aware of being dragged through the corridor by two pairs of arms.
"All the pods are launched?" the familiar voice said.
"That is correct." the unfamiliar voice replied.
Shinan lifted his head. He couldn't make out the other figure. The blood was seeping into his eyes and the world was growing darker.
"I don't understand."
"And you never will."
He remembered being left there. He remembered that he had to warn the Commander. He remembered the sound of a door opening and not being able to breathe. It's so cold.
Then he remembered nothing.
---------------
do you guys like zany antics juxtaposed with gruesome murders and as many policenauts references shoehorned in as possible b/c i am pretty fond of it. anyway i realized i never gave shinan a death scene so!!
---------------
"Computer. Play that recording again."
Affirmative.
"Yeah, okay. Just gonna meet you outside the escape pods. Got a tip about a mad scientist. Does Brainlord think I'm one of those inbreds staffing Space Station 13?"
Shinan paced back and forth, more nervous than he would have liked to admit. He had been a cop for ten years before policenaut training, but he still felt out of his element. Things were different up here. It's always night up here.
"Eerrrgh."
Shinan put his hands against the wall and began to do calf stretches. How did this guy even know I'm a cop? Wait, could it be...
He jerked around as he heard the door to the escape pod corridor open up. His anxiety was relieved instantly.
"Oh, it's you."
"You look tense."
"Haha, well, wasn't sure who was gonna show up."
"You've always worried too much. I would have thought graduation would have made you more of a man."
"Ha, why don't you go jerk yourself off, you dick. Anyway, this tip serious or what?"
"Yeah. Smoke?"
"Sure."
Shinan took the offered moslem brand cigarette. Calling them smokes, he thought, had always been a bit silly. But whatever. He broke the moslem and began to inhale.
"Say, you should probably go to the Commander with this too."
"I have already been to see our dear Commander."
Fire scoured Shinan's face and blackened the inside of his mouth as his cigarette exploded. HE would later remember drawing his revolver and the sound of a bullet ricocheting off of an airlock door, but not as much as he remembered his surprise to find out that the artificial gravity had been disabled when the moslem exploded. Shinan careened back ten feet and slammed his head against the corridor wall. Light ran jumped across his eyes when his knees cracked against the floor as the artificial gravity resumed functioning. He was then dimly aware of being dragged through the corridor by two pairs of arms.
"All the pods are launched?" the familiar voice said.
"That is correct." the unfamiliar voice replied.
Shinan lifted his head. He couldn't make out the other figure. The blood was seeping into his eyes and the world was growing darker.
"I don't understand."
"And you never will."
He remembered being left there. He remembered that he had to warn the Commander. He remembered the sound of a door opening and not being able to breathe. It's so cold.
Then he remembered nothing.
---------------
do you guys like zany antics juxtaposed with gruesome murders and as many policenauts references shoehorned in as possible b/c i am pretty fond of it. anyway i realized i never gave shinan a death scene so!!
Games - Tester
Games - Other
