RED_NOVA'S PROFILE

Holy shit the amount of support shown here is incredible. Thanks so much for your kind words, everyone! You all are amazing.

As I said in the blog, this is not the first time I've had an anxiety attack (though they aren't usually caused by gam mak). I'm usually ready to get back in the fight the following day, and I feel like I could get back to being productive if I really wanted to. However, this time I wanted to give myself extra time to make absolutely sure I'm ready to go at this last sequence at my best.

Your kind words have contributed to a much quicker recovery, though, I promise you that. I actually feel excited to get back to work once the time comes. But I said I'd check in after a week, and that's what I'm gonna do. Just know that I can't possibly express the true depth of my appreciation for you all through words alone.

author=kumada
Your game is awesome, and it's awesome even if you never finish it.

No game is worth burning yourself out for. Rest up, feel better, and if you want to take a look at my new game for some reason, lemme know. It's dumb tabletop stuff so it's just, like, MANY WORDS, but I guess there's technically variety to that.

Thanks kumada, but I have every intention of finishing PotF. I'm close enough to the finish line that I know I can do it with one last burst of energy.

Your offer sounds really nice, actually. I have zero experience in tabletop RPGs, so I'm not sure how helpful I can be, but I'd like to give it a try.

author=SilviuTM
Take your time. The game can wait as long as you need, and we can wait too. Don't overdo yourself. While we care about the game, we care more about you and your health. Take it easy, have a pleasant break!
I hope you're feeling better! : )

Thanks SilviuTM. I really appreciate it. I already feel loads better now than I did a few months ago.

author=nemojbatkastle
Remember: You are making this game for yourself and your creative fulfillment first and foremost, also this is a community where a 10+ year project with multi year hiatuses are normal. Crunch & grind all your need, hold yourself to a high standard if that motivates you. But guilt & shame are anathema to creativity.

I tend to do Gam Mak when I'm burnt out on writing, writing when I'm burnt out on Gam Mak. I get so little done, and also lead a stressful adult life full of adulting. As do we all. You should be proud of what you've accomplished and do what you need to do when you need to do it. Panic attacks suck & makers can be stressful because there's always so much to do, it's easy to get in that maker hole and miss the forest for the trees. But your first responsibility is to enjoy yourself :D

Your burnout process sounds kinda familiar with my own. I draw when I'm tired of coding, which I do when I'm tired of writing, etc. That worked for the 4+ years of PotF development, so I thought I was doing fine.

It's only now that I realize that I was getting burnt out of PotF after 4+ years and could have used a break sooner. Of course, now that I'm writing this, I can't help but think "well, DUH, idiot!" but at least I know now for future projects.

author=kentona
Practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding in the face of mistakes and failures.

"In fact, several studies show that self-compassion supports motivation and personal growth. Not only does it decrease psychological distress, which we now know is a primary culprit for procrastination, it also actively boosts motivation, enhances feelings of self-worth and fosters positive emotions like optimism, wisdom, curiosity and personal initiative. Best of all, self-compassion doesn't require anything external — just a commitment to meeting your challenges with greater acceptance and kindness rather than rumination and regret."

I still haven't quite figured out how to do this for myself, but maybe you'll have better luck than I did.

We'll figure it out, eventually.

author=CashmereCat
Have a good rest, Red_Nova. Much love <3

Thanks Cash!

author=pianotm
It's boring to go alone! Take this! (Hands you a pina colada)

Rest your weary soul and return to us renewed my friend!

I will. I'm feeling better each day!

author=Sgt M
Speaking as someone who's barely lifted a finger since my last project: If you're ever feeling guilty about taking this break, don't forget that you're in a pretty good position to justify doing so. You don't have backers, or stakeholders, or have a $200,000 kickstarter that was supposed to ship in 2014 or whatever. One of the benefits of being super small is that the risk for these much-needed breaks is much lower than projects with bigger budgets or clout surrounding them and you can take all the time you need to get where you need to be.

The opportunity is there. Absolutely go for it and pat yourself on the back for powering through this as long as you have. It's a well-earned rest.

Yeah, I think about this every now and then. The idea of doing a Kickstarter for this game to commission some more professional assets had crossed my mind a long time ago, but I chose not to go that route because of exactly what you described. Even if I had a successful Kickstarter, the pressure that would have put on me probably would have been too much without a serious overhaul of my development process (a process that I'm STILL trying to nail down, even now). Not going for crowdfunding was the best route to take, I feel.

For those that haven't seen the trailer, this game was supposed to come out a year ago. At the time, I really thought I could do it. But, of course, life decided to kick me in the nuts not too long after the trailer came out and, well, here we are.

author=GreatRedSpirit
Anxiety and panic attacks suck, and stepping away and taking care of your mental health first is the right call! I hope you enjoy your break!

All I can give is:

This is... perfect! Exactly what I need!

Keep on crawling, unity!

author=Sgt M
I think not having a canon "true ending" is the right choice here, as having one can often deter players from wanting to seek out the other endings if they're not invested enough in your game to begin with. Heck, my game Soma Spirits has five endings, but very few players did any of them other than the True Ending route.

Labeling one ending as the canon, or otherwise the requirement for a "perfect" game can leave an awful lot of hard work undiscovered or even avoided. And it unfortunately mitigates the illusion of choice.

Not that it CAN'T be done well. I think Persona 4 did an alright job of handling a "true" ending because the concept was a part of the game's mystery premise. Chrono Trigger also did a good job with it because you're given the end goal pretty early on, and there's a lot of fun to be had beating Lavos at different periods in the story.

Sorry to hear about the lack of exposure to the other endings. It's a real shame to see all that work go unnoticed.

author=StarSkipp
One alternative idea is to have one definite ending but unlockable (Non Canon) post credit scenes. For example, game ends with hero saving the world but post credit scene A reveals that it was all just a dream. However if the player unlocks Post credit scene B, it turns out everything took place inside a overgrown petri dish.

Not the best examples out there but the idea itself would maintain the integrity of the one true ending but would give you some experimental creative leeway and avert the potential nightmare of writing multiple satisfying conclusions.

Those suggestions sound more like joke endings than real endings. I don't really hold joke endings up to the same standards at real endings. Heck, I mentioned Silent Hill 2 as one of the best ways to design an ending system, and that game had an ending where the entire town was operated by a dog.

author=CashmereCat
I want to play Prayer of the Faithless completely blind once it is finished, so I didn't look past your spoiler warning. So looking forward to this being finished! I trust in your ability to do a fantastic job here, and want to experience another one of your awesome stories.

Thanks Cash!

author=Marrend
I... kinda think about Mass Effect 3 in this regard.

That's about right, but, like Starskipp said, the game was almost totally comprised of multiple conclusions for different parts of the journey. Mass Effect 3's endings felt more like budget constraints to me than an actual deliberate design decision, especially since everything leading up to that point was spot on.

author=StarSkipp
Not sure why but in every playthrough, I kept shooting Mordin for some reason or another D:

:(((((((