PIANOTM'S PROFILE

My head just exploded! Epic Elf 3 :::Gollum's voice::: We must haves it! We must haves it!

Hello. Wasn't dead, just no communications. That happens when you have to decide which of your things that you have owned all of your life you must throw away and then drag the rest halfway across the country. Still not really straightened out yet...just had a chance to go online tonight.

author=Corfaisus
Pianotm, where are you? I had another dream. This time, it was serious.

Here I am.

So I'm hanging out with some old schoolhouse buds in a grocery store that just so happens to have lunch tables like you'd see in any school (the ones with the seats connected to the tables).

This sounds an awful lot like going back to school, which can have a number of meanings: recalling a more innocent time, recalling the time in your life when you first encountered real responsibility, and this (where old friends are concerned) can also denote aspects of your personality you've rejected or forgotten.

One of my classmates had an affection towards a girl that I had developed a crush on back in middle school (real age now in the dream, of course) and, despite it obviously not leading anywhere, he sought out love cards to give her to break the ice and win her heart. He tried three times, each time failing to catch her. The third time, he sent a card with little cartoon bears on it that said something along the lines of "I want you...". He hastily took this card to her, who then, with her friend, approached us sitting at the table and made a public spectacle of his latest attempt by reading the card aloud. Inside the card, it continued with (paraphrasing of course) "to fight me." The card went on in some strange fashion, and we all got a good laugh at his misfortune. I tried to turn my head away to keep from being obvious.

Hmm...are you sure it's your friend and not you? I get the strong feeling you're watching this from a third person pov while viewing a representation of yourself. There's a suggestion of insecurity, here.

The only thing I can gather from this without automatically jumping to the conclusion of 'I'm still obsessed with her and I should seek help'

I doubt that.

(I've dreamed about wanting to talk to her a few times in the past, despite the fact that I spend absolutely 0% of any given day thinking about her) is that perhaps this classmate is meant to resemble a younger me who hasn't let go, while the true me has already done so; and that now I can see the foolishness of pursuing something I found appealing on the surface without considering that this time spent might have been wasted as I never considered what might be underneath (I was going through puberty and I thought she was cute, therefore I wanted to know her better. That's pretty much it).

This seems a well reasoned conclusion, but let me add that clearly this girl represents a part of personality that defines who you are today. The girl then played a role in shaping who are. Her constant presence in your dreams might seem obsessive, but again, it feels more like your dreams are trying to remind you of a part of yourself you've forgotten or rejected.

I'd really like to think this was my long-awaited closure on the matter, or at least is a metaphor for a growing list of my regrets.

If only it were that simple...

These things being:

1. Social exclusion/awkwardness leading to what I deem "wasted opportunities" (I have only myself to blame for this).
2. Stress leading to turning down what I should want out of life. I didn't start dreaming about being in a grocery store until after I quit my first two jobs. I've been dreaming about school for much longer, probably as a result of dropping out in high school to pursue online schooling. The strange thing is, it's always based around middle school in my dreams.

And these could very well be triggers. We all have "wasted opportunities", but do you really want to dwell on what might have been? You may want to look into furthering your education and start pursuing would could be.

@Max McGee Well, I'm not saying you should price at a premium. I'm simply trying to point out that a big mistake people always make is selling themselves short. Maybe you don't think the work is worth price but the fact is, if you're selling good but you're still not paying the bills, then there's something wrong with your pricing.

No, I had a rare condition whereby I had a third tooth growing over my left cuspid (fang). The result of the intrusion caused three of my teeth to turn sideways. When I got braces, it required surgery to correct.