CLEST'S PROFILE

tsk, my pride and joy as a nerd are my model kits and my FF V/VI Amano artbook =^.^=

author=aprilschild link=topic=2473.msg45884#msg45884 date=1227137030
This is great, for one big reason. The weird rule of obtaining a partner is as long as you are not desperate for it, it's MUCH easier to do!

This is why many people will note that, after getting married/being in a long-term relationship, women/men seem to flock to them in a way that never happened before they entered a relationship. This is because lots of times, people get more confident/less desperate after having been with someone, so they are automatically more attractive.

Just stay cool with who you are, and someone will come along! I for one maintain that "socially inept nerds" make better boyfriends because they won't ever take you for granted, and they are intelligent people who can hold down good conversations.

I must also agree on that from experience :P

However I never had someone come to me (though my first gf assured me that on the day I approached her, she was thinking on getting to me as well) and shy as I was it was a real challenge to get to someone.

And well since we are talking about things like that, let me let out a bit on my feelings right now :P

First I always been one to be quite closed to myself about feelings and specially touch, be it simple hugs or anything, whenever my mom or anyone approached I went away saying it is a thing between couples only (no one ever said that to me and it was always a damn mystery as to why I had that mindset ever since I can remember). With that and all the rejection from being albino (here in Brasil it is not common) for being a nerd and for being to skinny got me into being outcast.

This generated a lot of needs and dreams related to relationships which just got worse each time I was reject by someone I liked and I was stuck in a cycle. Then I got more confidence, had my first relationship and others followed since even with more confidence I still felt bad being "alone". Everytime a relationship ended I was sad for a while then already trying know someone else.

Now with my last relationship I discovered a lot about myself and things I truly value, mainly because even though my ex gf and I shared some common interests, we had a lot of differences and I want to do things with her so she wouldn´t feel unloved, however with that I sacrificed doing things I really wanted to do and learned to value then. Also thanks to her I learned that if I risked a bit, I could earn at least a decent amount of money working on something I enjoy (selling my art on comissions or working for sites).

However this caused a divergence of ways between us: with my current route I still don´t earn a lot, just enough for my basic expenses like internet, college, transport, food and I want to work like this until I get a more safe job doing so, or until I get good enough to earn more as I work and I know it may take time. She on the other hand wants to work on whatever she can to get money to leave her home as soon as possible. Both this divergence and the divergence in interests lead us to grow apart until we agreed peacefully on a break up which I believe was good for both.

NOW, while I have a lot of time for myself, for RM, to see my dad, to spend with my classmates, to build my robot/mecha model kits and play videogames, I still feel a bit lonely, maybe it is an habit that grew with so many years stuck on the stupid mindset that I needed someone to be happy, wich I consciously know is not a truth. However it still gets to me sometimes.

Also thanks to that last relationship I learnt to be more open on my feelings and on touching and hugging friends and to that my classmates have been really sweet.

I am working as hard as possible for all my clients too and building a lot of kits. Yet I don´t feel 100% okay all the time, which is more of why I am letting it out, as much as for anyone else I try to look like an emotional armored tank...

Yeah, not feeling baaaad but not feeling top either, just feeling kinda strange and a bit afraid of bumping into someone interesting without being exactly "on top" with myself o.o Maybe I am too worried, but I am making a huge effort to leave it be and focus on all the other wonderfull stuff (including RMN and the great friends I have here).

whew, no idea if anyonw will bother to read all that XD

And I love how ppl think I am younger than I am (wish it would last forever though :P aging is a curse for me O.o).

Just good we both are happy with our appearent ages XD

Well well, here it depends pretty much on where you live, Brazil is really diverse country (probably as much as "north" America or more given our total open imigration policy letting anyone from anywhere live here...) and Sao Paulo, where I leave, is a damn huge Midgar like city with a lot of imigrants from all over Brasil who think here is paradise without releasing that their stupid mass imigrating is turning it into hell :P

With the rant over, but information that it is pretty diverse let´s get on point:
-If you just want to date any girl without involvement be it just for some kisses, a dinner, a movie, to dance or even sex, it is really easy, as long as you don´t mind lowering your standards for intelectal conversations and follow whatever trends are going on, from clothing to language to whatever music the popular radios play and crappy reality shows on TV.
Having a car/motorcycle and/or a lot of money to spend on the "date" is also a big plus.

-Now for a serious relationship it is just going through the same thing I mentioned above, just do your best to impress at the date. Still, don´t expect much intelectual quality.

-Now if you want a serious relationship with anyone inteligent enough to live with without killing yourself, it is as hard as anywhere in the world: Just be yourself and try to know the girl, no secret, not easy, not too hard, just your average 50/50% chance of things going well...

I will never tell McGee about any weird sexual experiences I might have :P