Was deemed by the Arishok as one who commands a great deal of respect. Was recently thrown out of a wheat field for going against the grain. Once conquered Rhode Island using a can of lima beans, a yo-yo, and a used copy of Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 3 on Blu-Ray. Is a founding member of the band Bladder Failure, whose hit single "Flushed From the Bottom of My Heart" spent nearly six minutes atop the Canadian Top 10 (until the software glitch was corrected). Invented the word "zfaifnv" while trapped in the back of a UPS truck with a flatulent snapping turtle.

ALSO: Does not tolerate use of the word "when" under any circumstance.
The Legend of Blake
Embark upon a journey to become a legend. Or not. It's up to you.



Super Smash Bros for WiiU

Whenever I play Mario Kart online with my friends, we just bypass Nintendo's messaging/chat entirely in favor of Skype. Nintendo just doesn't get how to do online communication. And the blue ring (it's on the GamePad) is pretty much useless, especially for Smash. I'm using a GameCube controller, and the GamePad is usually like... flipped upside-down on the other side of the room. If there is a blinky blue light, I don't see it.

Oh my god, Pit's little conversations with Palutena are adorable.
Pit's conversations with Palutena were the only reason I finished Kid Icarus: Uprising. The writing in that game is just brilliant.

What are you thinking about right now?

Who even decided that durian is edible?! I mean, it smells awful and is covered in spikes! That just screams "NOT EDIBLE" to me! XD

[Poll] Favorite Link Incarnation

I retract my vote. I don't even remember what I voted for, but now that I've actually played it, the Hyrule Warriors version of Link is definitely my favorite. The character models in that game are unbelievably gorgeous.

Fuck Christmas

I'm no fan of Christmas, either. I'm as unreligious as they come, I hate shopping for gifts and I hate receiving them, too. Nobody does anything nice for me any other day of the year; why the fuck should they feel obligated to do it now?

But most of all, I hate seeing my family. My mom's family mostly consists of farmers. The majority of them don't even know how to turn a computer on and everybody is either much older or much younger than me. So I have nobody to talk to and I basically don't exist for those few hours.

And then there's my dad's family... Ugh. Nobody likes anybody. Everybody is overly critical. My aunt is always going on about how you don't need to know what happened during the "Pearl Harbor War" because stuff like that isn't important... One really needs to focus on finding fair trade products and free range organic chicken eggs and making sure that you keep a cup of water under your bed at night to collect evil spirits (and flush it down the toilet each morning). And then there's grandma... Oh man. Instead of just handing out gifts, she always has to turn it into a very, very stupid game. Last year, you had to roll dice. And if you got a seven, you got to go up and pick a present from grandma's pile. If you didn't get a seven then you had to pass the dice on to the next person and hope that you eventually got a seven........... :| After about half an hour, everyone had a box, and then we all had to watch as all the young crickets opened their present. And of course, every box was empty, save for a Grandma Gift Certificate, which you had to turn in to Grandma as proof that you won the game. And then you'd get your envelope with $10 in it. Fuck my life. Thankfully, because most everyone hates each other, these gatherings are mercifully short.

Also, I work at a grocery store and it's fucking busy this time of year. People are rude, and think I can conjure everything they need out of thin air. (I always laugh at the idiots who buy a giant frozen turkey the day before Thanksgiving. Yeah, it'll thaw in 12 hours. Sure.) I know it's awful, but when people ask me to find something for them in the back, I just go back there, mess around on my phone for a few minutes, and then come back and tell them that "No, we don't have any more cans of peas."

Yeah, wake me up in January.

Super Smash Bros for WiiU

Yeah but this isn't Fire Emblem :| It's Smash. Having a move that fizzles out is as stupid as adding a tripping mechanic. But by all means, use a character that gimps itself ;)

You play with final smash? I don't. I suppose most people play with items on? I prefer not to. But I'll do whatever some of the time. Sometimes will be no items though. There's no items in a street fight.

I find that Robin's fizzling moves makes me change up my attacks more often than I otherwise would. Besides, they do seem to last a pretty long time. The levin sword is the only move that I've ever used to death, and once that breaks, you still have an iron sword, so it's not that crippling.

And yeah, I play with items on. I suck at fighting games, and I have no hope of ever winning in a straight-up fight. I also play timed matches instead of stock (as I've noted that almost everyone plays stock). Timed matches were the default when I first booted up Melee and my friends and I have rolled with that ever since.

RMNverse Battledome 5 - COMPLETE!

Oh, and by the way, Zenobia's Grave is epic. I've had that in my playlist for years and years and years.

RMNverse Battledome 5 - COMPLETE!

I guess I'll participate.

Chip - Rough and Tumble, because every fighting style needs an emphasis on maximum disfigurement and severing body parts.
Team - Team Turnip

Super Smash Bros for WiiU

The Wii U is definitely getting an update of some sort, because that Miiverse stage is on the way. And, the game is already on version 1.01.

I dunno, I didn't feel the other stuff was crappy. Just not what I had hoped it to be. It's all fun to run through once but after that I don't imagine ever going back to it. Maybe they knew most people focus on basic smash so they didn't bother spending too much effort on it. Still a shame, but yes, forgivable.

Is Robin the one with the book? I didn't understand the moves and they didn't seem that great. At one point I couldn't do a down B anymore. I havn't played as Shulk at all but my friend did. Seems cool that he has different modes, but his moves seem to be big slow power shots.

Favorite stages: Super Mario Galaxy

It's got a weird new angle for projectiles, eh? They go up at an angle. Plus it's a decent stage overall.
Crappiest Stage: The Great Cave Offensive (WAY TOO BIG)

I would say the large levels are meant for large battles. So for what they are designed for, it works well.

1. "Crappy" might have been too harsh a word. Nothing in the game is crappy except for the stage builder parts. "Disappointing" is probably more apt.

2. Robin is the one with the books. Just like in the Fire Emblem games, if you use an item too many times, it breaks and you can't use it anymore, so if you spam Robin's attacks, they'll eventually break and become unavailable for awhile. Not really a problem for me, though, as my numerous deaths grant me a fully refreshed Robin with great frequency. The magic works best when you charge it, but I mostly rely upon his sword.

3. Funky projectiles is one of the reasons I love the Super Mario Galaxy stage. My friend uses Zelda all the time, and her usually lethal final smash is almost worthless on this stage because the arrow veers off at that odd angle.

4. Even for large battles, I don't like the Great Cave Offensive. The camera is always pulled so far back, it's really hard to see what's going on. Maybe it's Nintendo's way of telling me I need an 80 inch TV. Or glasses.

How 'bout that new Star Wars, eh?

My pants remain unsoiled. The trailer was pretty to look at. It was nice to see the Millennium Falcon back in action. But really, there wasn't anything that made me lose control of my bladder and scream like a little girl.

That being said, as one of those hardcore Trekkies, I will admit that Abrams did do a decent job with the Star Trek movies. And since he is admittedly a Star Wars guy, I suspect Abrams will do Star Wars justice... Or! Or! He could have a Coruscant from the future get destroyed by a mysterious red matter, and have old Han, Luke, and Leia go back into the past to help their younger selves stop Nero from deploying his weapon... ...

Super Smash Bros for WiiU

And it's not only "Do X with Character Y," a lot of them make you do it 49 times on an insane difficulty. Most of the rewards aren't even worth the effort.

Also, I just love it when you're fighting Master Hand and Crazy Hand, and Master Hand unleashes an attack that drives you into the ground and then Master Hand immediately starts throwing those slices of cheese at you. And then the little cheese platforms rise off the screen and there isn't anything you can do about it because you're stuck in the ground.