GREATREDSPIRIT'S PROFILE

I'd argue that the first line is mostly fluff that actually doesn't say anything. 'If you so desire' adds absolutely nothing to the dialogue except letters that need to be displayed and it sounds incredibly unnatural. Really, I was probably thinking of "How could I make this line better?" and came to some stupid conclusion that adding junk would help.

Nah, I recognized it as a game I was recommended a few months ago. Pretty awesome game for just how messed up it can be (flip gravity and levels that you can go to the bottom of just by going up? Awesome)

Some thing to look out for:
(Note: I am not a good writer. Feel free to smack me for making bad suggestions and I'll take them out)

- Don't spill the can of worms. Take one out, throw it to the audience, and repeat. Make sure the rate is enough that you're out of worms at the end without freaking out and throwing a handful at the player. Throw a few extra at 'shit hit the fan' moments, but not so much that you cover the player in shit.

Finding that magical rate is a problem though. Make sure you've got your plot planned out in advance so you can look it over

(Okay that's not the usual meaning of the Can o' Worms stuff. It kinda spilled out, hurr hurr)


- More words != superb writing! Same goes with longer words.
Try to keep the talking natural and without dragging it on. I remember Phylomortis (the RM95 version I think) everyone talked using rediculous words nobody ever heard of without consulting a dictionary first and the dialogue was painful to read. I'll even use myself as an example of dragging shit on:

"Is your quest going well? If you so desire I can convert souls into items that can help you in your quest."

Is terrible. Its so long I can't add the NPC name and have the two options appear below it in the same window. I rewrote it to:

"I can convert souls to items. What do you need?"

It isn't great, but its better than what it originally was. I spent some time today cutting down on some of the incredibly wordy dialogue I have in favour of something shorter and personally I like it a lot more.


- Editing!
Just because something is written doesn't mean you can't change it. Like above, I went to some old dialogue and changed it so its better. Once you write something, try to edit it after a few days and try to improve it. Odds are it'll be better than when you first wrote it (and you might catch some errors that you missed before too).


*edit*
Reading something like what Kentona suggested is probably a far better idea than listening to me. Or another book with writing fiction. It may not be the best for video games, but anything is better than the crap most developers write for games.

Throwing it in the garbage would have the same effect (except all the heavy metals would be in a landfill instead). The best solution is to recycle them properly, but not many places have any sort of program for it. I think only two US states had anything for proper disposal of electronics.

You at least got to have some fun when improperly disposing of electronics!

author=kentona link=topic=1350.msg20587#msg20587 date=1213831316
It kinda matters, when you say "hey! Gimme your top 10 favorite of <genre>!"

The Genre kinda has to be defined.

Yeah, except so many genres are combined into a mess nowadays. Its hard to give a good and accurate definition considering. Best to play it by ear and get some oddballs like a Zelda game. As long as it isn't too rediculous its best not to argue it too much.

Anyways:

1) Final Fantasy Tactics
2) Final Fantasy 6
3) Valkyrie Profile
4) Wild ARMs 3
5) Chrono Trigger
6) Secret of Mana
7) Legend of Cao Cao
8) Wild ARMs 4
9) Breath of Fire 3
10) Earthbound