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Coming up in next update - misc : changing icons (WIP)
Well, cooked food tastes better than just eating their ingredients used to make them, right? So eating a herb would heal much less than drinking a red juice. “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.”
You could also make items that heal you over time (HoT). A 250 HP item could give you the Regeneration status which gives you 50 HP each turn for 5 turns. Herbs might not heal a lot, true, but that means they're more suited to healing you outside of battle than during one. You can also make them cure poison in addition to healing 50 HP. Curing poison isn't directly healing them a lot of HP but poison itself can cause a lot of damage if left unchecked. Red Juice would also probably cure poison if the herbs used to make it can do that. Food doesn't just have to heal in RPGs, some give a temporary boost too.
The way EO's shops work is that they have a limited quantity of items. If you give them enough materials to make 5 Red Juices, then you can only buy 5 Red Juices unless you provide them with more ingredients.
You could also make items that heal you over time (HoT). A 250 HP item could give you the Regeneration status which gives you 50 HP each turn for 5 turns. Herbs might not heal a lot, true, but that means they're more suited to healing you outside of battle than during one. You can also make them cure poison in addition to healing 50 HP. Curing poison isn't directly healing them a lot of HP but poison itself can cause a lot of damage if left unchecked. Red Juice would also probably cure poison if the herbs used to make it can do that. Food doesn't just have to heal in RPGs, some give a temporary boost too.
The way EO's shops work is that they have a limited quantity of items. If you give them enough materials to make 5 Red Juices, then you can only buy 5 Red Juices unless you provide them with more ingredients.
author=Chaos17But... how do the no-armed monsters put honey in pots or carry them? Some trees have sap in them. I suppose you can make maple syrup from that. Berries can be made into jam and that can spread on bread as well. Two different types of bread can heal the same amount. It's just that it might be easier to make one than the other depending on the availability of the ingredients.
Tree is part of the earth element in my game, so you will find Honey pot on Earth monsters.
Coming up in next update - misc : changing icons (WIP)
Food, huh? Few people ever question how characters can guzzle down several potions and scarf down a meal's worth of food in a few turns/each battle. They must always be hungry 'cause most people would get sick from eating/drinking that much in a short time.
Though it's an action RPG rather than a turn-based, I did encounter a 'Fullness' meter in Muramasa: The Demon Blade. Whenever you eat something, your Fullness meter increases until it hits 100% where you can't eat anymore until it decreases over time. Thus you have to be careful about fighting enemies since you can't conveniently heal off your damage whenever you want. Snacks, things that can be eaten quickly and without any difficulty, don't fill you up too much while a main course would stuff you completely. Food for thought, though I suppose this may be difficult to implement.
Hmm, cooking would be a nice function. Item crafting of a sorts. Honey Pot + Bread = Honey Bread. Though the Honey Pot wouldn't be used up in one meal. It'd just become Honey Pot (Half Full). So instead of them dropping potions, you can loot monster corpses for ingredients like their meat. Not honey pots or cups of red juice or even bread 'cause I doubt monsters carry that on their persons. Well, humanoid enemies like orcs could carry a honey pot, bread, or herbs. Or you can pick herbs from the field or go rob a beehive. You might end up finding a man-eating plant camouflaged among the harmless or get stung by poisonous bees for your troubles though. Herbs and the bitter medicines you can make from them are one way to flush toxins out of your body, I suppose.
Don't forget about Kenta being a heal-stealer.
Though it's an action RPG rather than a turn-based, I did encounter a 'Fullness' meter in Muramasa: The Demon Blade. Whenever you eat something, your Fullness meter increases until it hits 100% where you can't eat anymore until it decreases over time. Thus you have to be careful about fighting enemies since you can't conveniently heal off your damage whenever you want. Snacks, things that can be eaten quickly and without any difficulty, don't fill you up too much while a main course would stuff you completely. Food for thought, though I suppose this may be difficult to implement.
Hmm, cooking would be a nice function. Item crafting of a sorts. Honey Pot + Bread = Honey Bread. Though the Honey Pot wouldn't be used up in one meal. It'd just become Honey Pot (Half Full). So instead of them dropping potions, you can loot monster corpses for ingredients like their meat. Not honey pots or cups of red juice or even bread 'cause I doubt monsters carry that on their persons. Well, humanoid enemies like orcs could carry a honey pot, bread, or herbs. Or you can pick herbs from the field or go rob a beehive. You might end up finding a man-eating plant camouflaged among the harmless or get stung by poisonous bees for your troubles though. Herbs and the bitter medicines you can make from them are one way to flush toxins out of your body, I suppose.
Don't forget about Kenta being a heal-stealer.
Chibi Dungeon
author=Chaos17A good way to keep up the pressure is to inflict poison, bleed, burn DoTs since it'll damage you even if you weren't attacked that turn. 'Course, this means Eshley would need a cure status spell and adding antidotes (and whatever cures bleed/burn).
Yeah I need to give more DPS spells to Alfadia and Willow.
Not sure if you saw me mention it but Thunder II is weaker than the other II spells since its one hit doesn't equal the two-hitters in damage.
A Helmet equipment slot may add more options (when you later have to decide which equipment's special effect you want to use) if possible.
The Mana Sword got me thinking: will it be equippable when you release the next part of the demo? The 'Mana' in the name would make you assume it has a passive MP-healing effect or maybe boosts spell damage. Could perhaps even allow the wielder to transfer some of their MP to another character (like while equipped, you gain the skill 'Transfer Mana'). It's probably not the Ultimate weapon for Junta but it would probably still be significantly strong. Well, actually it could be the Ultimate weapon so long as it starts out weakened. Many games do make it so that the weapon that vanquishes evil isn't at full power from the start and you have to restore it over the course of the game.
EDIT: The new character menu screenshot is looking good.
make_new_and_not_at_all_sinister_friends.png
Jimmy and the Pulsating Mass
Pulsating Mass... am I the only one whose mind was in the gutter when reading this?
I hope that Spider boss has some interesting tricks to make its battle interesting. It looks too awesomely creepy to not be a memorable boss. Or maybe it's a hopeless boss for the first encounter? I can see that happening if Jimmy meets it without anyone backing him up.
Giant spiders in fiction sure are creepy though. Shooting their white sticky load all over the place and mummifying anyone unfortunate enough to get caught in their web. The worse part is their desire to consume humans and their fondness for suddenly dropping down from the ceiling to startle you.
Dolls are creepy too. Personally, I think every one of them is waiting to stab me with a knife. Those unblinking abominations... Fortunately, the one shown on your Tumblr doesn't look realistic (more human-like with hair and facial features).
If Jimmy turns into the Low-Level Goon, it'd be cool if goons and other people react to you differently. It'd be more work if you did that for all of Jimmy's forms though.
And no Earthbound-like game is complete without some quirky humor and bosses using skills with strange, possibly humorous names. That and boss bantering during the battle.
I hope that Spider boss has some interesting tricks to make its battle interesting. It looks too awesomely creepy to not be a memorable boss. Or maybe it's a hopeless boss for the first encounter? I can see that happening if Jimmy meets it without anyone backing him up.
Giant spiders in fiction sure are creepy though. Shooting their white sticky load all over the place and mummifying anyone unfortunate enough to get caught in their web. The worse part is their desire to consume humans and their fondness for suddenly dropping down from the ceiling to startle you.
Dolls are creepy too. Personally, I think every one of them is waiting to stab me with a knife. Those unblinking abominations... Fortunately, the one shown on your Tumblr doesn't look realistic (more human-like with hair and facial features).
If Jimmy turns into the Low-Level Goon, it'd be cool if goons and other people react to you differently. It'd be more work if you did that for all of Jimmy's forms though.
And no Earthbound-like game is complete without some quirky humor and bosses using skills with strange, possibly humorous names. That and boss bantering during the battle.
Chibi Dungeon
Junta's title says 'Berseker'.
Junta: I am good. Might be better to say I'm doing fine. Thanks for asking.
Junta: I'm here to see grandpa, but I need to retrieve the mana sword, first. You don't actually need any commas here. You can place 'first' after 'but'. Since it's one-of-a-kind, 'mana sword' should be capitalized.
Eshley: I see, do you want me to help you? Should be a period instead of a comma.
Junta: You scared me for a second there! I didn't notice you at all! Riiight, you didn't notice the dude and his companion sitting by a fire even though you actually have to walk right in front of him to even consider sneaking past him?
Kenta: Teacher sends us here to help you. 'Sent'
Junta: Don't tell me he active again traps... 'activated traps again'?
Kenta... oh god. He's a heal-stealer when another character is in critical condition. Gamegeek101 even pointed out the same problem. On the bright side, it's not like most battles in the demo will actually threaten you if you full heal at the camp when you're running low. Though the ghost with Dark Vortex can be dangerous since it does 200+ damage a pop.
Junta: Meilen ?! What're you doing here ? The punctuation marks shouldn't have a space before them.
Meilen: Who do you think activate the traps ? 'activated' Also, there shouldn't be a space after 'traps'.
Meilen: Let's play together. It has been a long time since I didn't see you. 'since I've seen you.'
Come to me my friends, it's time to play. Come to me, my friends! It's time to play! (You would probably shout this and want your allies to hear, right? Hence the exclamation points.
You need a status icon for 'Absorption' so that I know the boss is still absorbing all attacks instead of being damaged. I think it lasts for the turn it's cast but sometimes it's still active on the turn after? Which lead to an interesting scenario where Alfadia and Willow both had Absorption (or maybe she used her double action to apply it to both of them? I saw that one time she cast it on Willow twice. Even if you don't attack a target that has Absorption, the buff itself still heals them by 100+ HP).
The boss was not threatening my life so much as they were trying to stall me. Meilen has heal and defense boosts to apply while Alfadia has the annoying absorption. Willow sponges all the physical attacks with its physical def which is good enough to make it so that Junta using Fire does more damage to it than a normal attack (or maybe it's because fire is a weakness along with wind?).
The bosses and even random encounters having random levels is kind of weird. Like when they were all level 8, they were a pain to kill with Meilin healing off a good chunk of the damage I inflict on her (obviously I go for the healer first) and Alfadia casting absorption when I'm close to killing Meilin or her. On the other hand, I squashed them without much delay when they were level 4, though that probably had to do with the 2 hits from Wind II smacking her for 200 dmg each.
A complaint I have with Fire/Wind II is that I can't choose what enemy to target them with. They could hit two different enemies or the same one twice. As for Thunder II, I may be able to choose my target but it only has one hit (that doesn't deal enough damage to equal two hits from Fire/Wind II). The 100 TP cost is also pretty steep for non-ultimate moves. I feel that 50 TP is enough for damage of their caliber. And Junta's Boost skill costs HP/MP/TP. Too pricey considering that Midori's magical variant costs just 5 MP.
Star is a neutral-element spell, right?
I think it would a good idea if you can always see your enemies' HP bar and not just for a brief moment after you attack them. Add elemental modifiers to the characters' status pages if they have any.
The Rope and Pickaxe have no descriptions. Same with the weapons: Sword, Bow, and Cane.
You reached the end of the day. Your heroes are tired, they deserve a good rest before continueing their journey. You've
Remove the 'e' in 'continueing' Remove the comma and replace 'they' with 'and'
For supposed old friends, they barely have anything to say to each other. Or rather, they don't say anything beyond asking to join your party. It kind of makes the game description 'Along the way, Junta will meet old friends...' a moot point when you meet them all within the beginning of the area. You should elaborate on how they first met (became friends) and what experiences they've had apparently training together. A character might say something like "Hey Junta, remember when (insert event) happened?" Since they haven't seen each other for a while, they should have some catching up to do like telling stories of important/funny stuff that happened when the others weren't there to see. As it stands, none of the characters really have any personality to speak of but I suppose this is a short demo so there wouldn't be much yet.
Junta would also need to tell the team how he met Meilen and why he dreaded seeing her again. In other words, what sort of tricks she has pulled on him in the past to make him so wary of her.
The whole dark room mechanic is kind of... pointless? It wouldn't be any different if you had just kept all the lights on. The only thing it serves to do is let an enemy up ahead ambush you. But after the first two times it happens, you learn to expect even that and can save beforehand. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!
Oh, and thanks for indirectly notifying me to Etrian Odyssey IV's recent development. I haven't been keeping updated on things so I wouldn't have known if you hadn't re-tweeted it and put your Twitter on the side. I think I'll like the Warlock, Hound, Reaper, and Necromancer the most. Maybe the Masurao too.
Junta: I am good. Might be better to say I'm doing fine. Thanks for asking.
Junta: I'm here to see grandpa, but I need to retrieve the mana sword, first. You don't actually need any commas here. You can place 'first' after 'but'. Since it's one-of-a-kind, 'mana sword' should be capitalized.
Eshley: I see, do you want me to help you? Should be a period instead of a comma.
Junta: You scared me for a second there! I didn't notice you at all! Riiight, you didn't notice the dude and his companion sitting by a fire even though you actually have to walk right in front of him to even consider sneaking past him?
Kenta: Teacher sends us here to help you. 'Sent'
Junta: Don't tell me he active again traps... 'activated traps again'?
Kenta... oh god. He's a heal-stealer when another character is in critical condition. Gamegeek101 even pointed out the same problem. On the bright side, it's not like most battles in the demo will actually threaten you if you full heal at the camp when you're running low. Though the ghost with Dark Vortex can be dangerous since it does 200+ damage a pop.
Junta: Meilen ?! What're you doing here ? The punctuation marks shouldn't have a space before them.
Meilen: Who do you think activate the traps ? 'activated' Also, there shouldn't be a space after 'traps'.
Meilen: Let's play together. It has been a long time since I didn't see you. 'since I've seen you.'
Come to me my friends, it's time to play. Come to me, my friends! It's time to play! (You would probably shout this and want your allies to hear, right? Hence the exclamation points.
You need a status icon for 'Absorption' so that I know the boss is still absorbing all attacks instead of being damaged. I think it lasts for the turn it's cast but sometimes it's still active on the turn after? Which lead to an interesting scenario where Alfadia and Willow both had Absorption (or maybe she used her double action to apply it to both of them? I saw that one time she cast it on Willow twice. Even if you don't attack a target that has Absorption, the buff itself still heals them by 100+ HP).
The boss was not threatening my life so much as they were trying to stall me. Meilen has heal and defense boosts to apply while Alfadia has the annoying absorption. Willow sponges all the physical attacks with its physical def which is good enough to make it so that Junta using Fire does more damage to it than a normal attack (or maybe it's because fire is a weakness along with wind?).
The bosses and even random encounters having random levels is kind of weird. Like when they were all level 8, they were a pain to kill with Meilin healing off a good chunk of the damage I inflict on her (obviously I go for the healer first) and Alfadia casting absorption when I'm close to killing Meilin or her. On the other hand, I squashed them without much delay when they were level 4, though that probably had to do with the 2 hits from Wind II smacking her for 200 dmg each.
A complaint I have with Fire/Wind II is that I can't choose what enemy to target them with. They could hit two different enemies or the same one twice. As for Thunder II, I may be able to choose my target but it only has one hit (that doesn't deal enough damage to equal two hits from Fire/Wind II). The 100 TP cost is also pretty steep for non-ultimate moves. I feel that 50 TP is enough for damage of their caliber. And Junta's Boost skill costs HP/MP/TP. Too pricey considering that Midori's magical variant costs just 5 MP.
Star is a neutral-element spell, right?
author=Chaos17Well, you could give them skills that give their normal attacks their elemental property. Instead of conjuring fireballs and lightning, they can channel it through their weapons to gain a flaming sword/electrical spear.
I wanted to find a purpose of heroes elemental spell. Specialy for Junta and Kuro who are warriors so they have less magical attack than the girls. The guys elemental spells were kinda useless in general since they did more damage with a simple base attack, lol.
I think it would a good idea if you can always see your enemies' HP bar and not just for a brief moment after you attack them. Add elemental modifiers to the characters' status pages if they have any.
The Rope and Pickaxe have no descriptions. Same with the weapons: Sword, Bow, and Cane.
You reached the end of the day. Your heroes are tired, they deserve a good rest before continueing their journey. You've
Remove the 'e' in 'continueing' Remove the comma and replace 'they' with 'and'
For supposed old friends, they barely have anything to say to each other. Or rather, they don't say anything beyond asking to join your party. It kind of makes the game description 'Along the way, Junta will meet old friends...' a moot point when you meet them all within the beginning of the area. You should elaborate on how they first met (became friends) and what experiences they've had apparently training together. A character might say something like "Hey Junta, remember when (insert event) happened?" Since they haven't seen each other for a while, they should have some catching up to do like telling stories of important/funny stuff that happened when the others weren't there to see. As it stands, none of the characters really have any personality to speak of but I suppose this is a short demo so there wouldn't be much yet.
Junta would also need to tell the team how he met Meilen and why he dreaded seeing her again. In other words, what sort of tricks she has pulled on him in the past to make him so wary of her.
The whole dark room mechanic is kind of... pointless? It wouldn't be any different if you had just kept all the lights on. The only thing it serves to do is let an enemy up ahead ambush you. But after the first two times it happens, you learn to expect even that and can save beforehand. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!
Oh, and thanks for indirectly notifying me to Etrian Odyssey IV's recent development. I haven't been keeping updated on things so I wouldn't have known if you hadn't re-tweeted it and put your Twitter on the side. I think I'll like the Warlock, Hound, Reaper, and Necromancer the most. Maybe the Masurao too.
Dynastia
Yeah, I figured out you learn Song skills by interacting with a piano and then visiting a Skill Scroller. What I didn't get was why that was necessary if you already got the Song? I'm assuming what Ariel did was read the piano sheet and then play it, meaning she "learned" it. It just doesn't make sense to redeem a 'Song of Healing' to learn a 'Song of Healing'.
In case you missed this ('cause I post first and then edit it or might come up with new ideas/thoughts to add afterwards):
Okay, figured out after your post that the 'Q' and 'W' keys let you switch between characters at Skill Scrollers.
And Ariel, well, I haven't seen her consider the hero an idiot or trying to prove to the world that she's a true hero. Maybe it'd help if she insulted Dylan or maybe not. Relationships don't go well when you do that and they will be working together for the near future after all.
Hmm, so the dialogue responses work now? Did you also make it so the blue box doesn't stay there and block your view of the space it's occupying for the rest of the game?
Now, about your Images, I think it'd be a good idea to include one where the team is fighting enemies. I know that I certainly find that it plays a part in me choosing to download an RPG or not.
About the elements...
When you talk to Zack at the Main Entrance, Prohabition is spelled wrong. Replace the 'a' with 'i'. Snort, I actually didn't get to him to now. Didn't know you could enter the bedrooms below through the red carpet path. I'm gonna question the design scheme. There are beds on the right side but in order to get there you have to... go through rooms with other beds. If someone came in late, they'd potentially wake up everyone on the way to their bed on the other side of the building. Well, that kind of scenario is kind of what the curtains are for (muffling some of the noise) so I suppose there's no actual need to change it.
Fire/Windstones and Fire Ore are hard to get as drops. Do the demo monsters even drop them? I got one firestone after fighting some fire monsters. I've yet to get the ore though which kind of bothers me since Aiden has all that TP and nothing to spend it on. After a couple of battles, I came to the conclusion that all the monsters have higher physical def than magical def or maybe it just felt that way with how much HP they have and spells taking a bigger chunk out of them than normal attacks. Ariel should essentially get Bubble ASAP, then Dylan grab Luna Blitz, and finally Kathy's Roast 'cause otherwise it'll take a while to bash any monster to death with normal attacks (though I suppose Kathy's normal attack is weak since she has low physical atk; her magic on the other hand hits hard for 100+).
I've noticed that Aiden and Katherine kind of take a backseat when it comes to the conversations with Eric. Ariel and Dylan are also the only ones to comment on the equipment in the Training Hall. I hope Aiden and Katherine don't get overshadowed by those two.
In case you missed this ('cause I post first and then edit it or might come up with new ideas/thoughts to add afterwards):
I'd like to note that Dylan's Luna Blitz (a power 3 skill that costs 25 TP) is stronger than Moon Slash (a power 4 skill that costs 100 TP). Katherine's Choke seems to be weak for a Power 6 skill and it doesn't seem to cause instant-death (at least, that's what I thought the skull icon in its effect meant. Unless it's a low chance of course). I think it might be a physical attack which explains everything since her physical atk. is less than her magic atk. The Assassin's Snipe is pretty much as strong as a normal attack. The Child's Beast Mode is Power 8 with a cost of 100 TP but her Seal Commands is Power 5, 50 TP cost, and can inflict Mute.
I suppose it doesn't really matter since 'Nightmare' was a one-off area and Dylan/Katherine definitely won't have access to their full repertoire any time soon. Oh, Kathy's Cute Whip description needs the 'fith' removed.
I suppose it doesn't really matter since 'Nightmare' was a one-off area and Dylan/Katherine definitely won't have access to their full repertoire any time soon. Oh, Kathy's Cute Whip description needs the 'fith' removed.
Okay, figured out after your post that the 'Q' and 'W' keys let you switch between characters at Skill Scrollers.
Now that I think about it... how does a Healing spell work on a Robot? Mending organic wounds is different from repairing machine parts. NANOMACHINES, Son! Also status effects... poison, sleep, rage, fascination, all of that doesn't affect robots since they don't have a body that feels any of it. They also wouldn't be able to drink any of those healing beverages (unless you introduce Motor Oil anyway though gas-guzzling is quite expensive. Batteries would also work for recharging a robot)... Wow, that's some fridge logic (sudden realization) right there. You can still blind them by damaging or covering their ocular sensors and you can confuse them DOES NOT COMPUTE since they can go haywire. That's something to consider.
author=midnightzeldaThe second sentence is an informed trait. No one in school actually says anything about Aiden. Actually, Ariel in the beginning scene contradicts the 'nobody takes him seriously'. She certainly thinks he's dangerous if she's threatening to tell the Headmaster that he's performing experimental magic; that he's causing earthquakes and an explosion that could have blown up the building. And well, she did say that putting the Sopum in a killing machine was his most stupid idea. His general info (status) even says he makes 'weapons of mass destruction'. The whole 'summoning creatures' thing is kind of misleading as I mentioned before. You should change his info to say he summons spirits to inhabit the robots that he builds unless you're planning for him to summon actual organic creatures.
Aiden: He prefers to summon creatures to fight for him in battle. No matter how powerful his summons get nobody takes him seriously.
And Ariel, well, I haven't seen her consider the hero an idiot or trying to prove to the world that she's a true hero. Maybe it'd help if she insulted Dylan or maybe not. Relationships don't go well when you do that and they will be working together for the near future after all.
Hmm, so the dialogue responses work now? Did you also make it so the blue box doesn't stay there and block your view of the space it's occupying for the rest of the game?
Now, about your Images, I think it'd be a good idea to include one where the team is fighting enemies. I know that I certainly find that it plays a part in me choosing to download an RPG or not.
About the elements...
the Headmaster says you should practice your own element and that Dylan is a 'Gale Stryker'. Ariel comments that that's one of the rarest mage signs you can be born under.
However, besides Aiden, your other three party members have dual elemental resists/weaknesses. Aiden practices demon magic, hence his dark resist and light weakness. But Ariel has water resist (her being able to learn Bubble confirms her specialization) and fire resist, while Katherine has fire resist (and fire magic) and ice resist. So where do the secondary modifiers come from?
As for Aiden, he has wind resist but I don't think he's a Gale Stryker. He doesn't have any wind spells (or anyway offensive spells at all) after all. So is he fire element since he can learn 'Pyro Blast'? Ahhh, but that seems more like something his robot would do. So this brings us back to speculation about it. A summoned spirit possessing a robot body. As I said before, how do Aiden's stats/equipment/and even magic matter if he's not the one fighting? It's not like what armor he's wearing will affect the robot's defense, right? And how would the robot be able to use skills/magic that he knows?
Aiden's Energy Convert is... weak. 15% of HP is not much at the lower levels and there are cheap healing items that restore 10% and also Dylon's Healing Wind probably outclasses it anyway. I suppose I find it useless only since the current demo monsters aren't threatening and I'd rather kill them faster with a offensive spell (like Thunder) than have a healing one. BUT. If you do make his robot unable to consume healing beverages or affected by healing spells, then I suppose it's the only option for healing (besides the possible can of Motor Oil or batteries I mentioned before. Speaking of Batteries, that can be an Accessory that lets the robot regen TP/MP each turn but perhaps with limited charge so you have to buy a new one when it runs out. I was originally thinking the Battery could jump-start/reboot a KO-ed robot, an Auto-Revive of sorts. But thinking on it, why would an energizer be able to fix up the broken/damaged parts; HP? So that idea was... scrapped, hehe. A revive spell obviously wouldn't work on a robot much like how it doesn't work on undead. Well, it does work on undead... it kills them. That's "positive" healing when used on a negative-life being. Necromancy works on them because it's negative-healing. But there are lifeforms that don't have either positive or a negative lifeforce. Things like golems and robots have neutral life instead. What I'm trying to say is... there can be a skill where Aiden comes onto the battlefield to physically repair his broken, damaged robot. Though again, being able to revive endlessly 'cause you truly haven't "died" is kind of OP). If you don't make the robot unable to drink healing drinks, it would be fine as it is just so long as you throw in some extra TP regeneration which would hopefully make it better.
However, besides Aiden, your other three party members have dual elemental resists/weaknesses. Aiden practices demon magic, hence his dark resist and light weakness. But Ariel has water resist (her being able to learn Bubble confirms her specialization) and fire resist, while Katherine has fire resist (and fire magic) and ice resist. So where do the secondary modifiers come from?
As for Aiden, he has wind resist but I don't think he's a Gale Stryker. He doesn't have any wind spells (or anyway offensive spells at all) after all. So is he fire element since he can learn 'Pyro Blast'? Ahhh, but that seems more like something his robot would do. So this brings us back to speculation about it. A summoned spirit possessing a robot body. As I said before, how do Aiden's stats/equipment/and even magic matter if he's not the one fighting? It's not like what armor he's wearing will affect the robot's defense, right? And how would the robot be able to use skills/magic that he knows?
Aiden's Energy Convert is... weak. 15% of HP is not much at the lower levels and there are cheap healing items that restore 10% and also Dylon's Healing Wind probably outclasses it anyway. I suppose I find it useless only since the current demo monsters aren't threatening and I'd rather kill them faster with a offensive spell (like Thunder) than have a healing one. BUT. If you do make his robot unable to consume healing beverages or affected by healing spells, then I suppose it's the only option for healing (besides the possible can of Motor Oil or batteries I mentioned before. Speaking of Batteries, that can be an Accessory that lets the robot regen TP/MP each turn but perhaps with limited charge so you have to buy a new one when it runs out. I was originally thinking the Battery could jump-start/reboot a KO-ed robot, an Auto-Revive of sorts. But thinking on it, why would an energizer be able to fix up the broken/damaged parts; HP? So that idea was... scrapped, hehe. A revive spell obviously wouldn't work on a robot much like how it doesn't work on undead. Well, it does work on undead... it kills them. That's "positive" healing when used on a negative-life being. Necromancy works on them because it's negative-healing. But there are lifeforms that don't have either positive or a negative lifeforce. Things like golems and robots have neutral life instead. What I'm trying to say is... there can be a skill where Aiden comes onto the battlefield to physically repair his broken, damaged robot. Though again, being able to revive endlessly 'cause you truly haven't "died" is kind of OP). If you don't make the robot unable to drink healing drinks, it would be fine as it is just so long as you throw in some extra TP regeneration which would hopefully make it better.
When you talk to Zack at the Main Entrance, Prohabition is spelled wrong. Replace the 'a' with 'i'. Snort, I actually didn't get to him to now. Didn't know you could enter the bedrooms below through the red carpet path. I'm gonna question the design scheme. There are beds on the right side but in order to get there you have to... go through rooms with other beds. If someone came in late, they'd potentially wake up everyone on the way to their bed on the other side of the building. Well, that kind of scenario is kind of what the curtains are for (muffling some of the noise) so I suppose there's no actual need to change it.
So the school did lift their bridge to prevent outsiders from just walking in. I suppose the technology level isn't high-tech enough to have planes, jets, or helicopters yet? Prohibiting them from leaving the grounds probably didn't go over well with the student's parents. Actually, I don't think it went well with the kids themselves either. After all, they have to keep themselves entertained somehow or they'll go crazy if they just doing schoolwork. I suppose that girl saying there was no trade routes and asking you to find a local pub for help may have been because of the lockdown. Don't know how she expects a local pub to help unless the people working there are magical. I don't think muggles would be eager to help a magic school.
Fire/Windstones and Fire Ore are hard to get as drops. Do the demo monsters even drop them? I got one firestone after fighting some fire monsters. I've yet to get the ore though which kind of bothers me since Aiden has all that TP and nothing to spend it on. After a couple of battles, I came to the conclusion that all the monsters have higher physical def than magical def or maybe it just felt that way with how much HP they have and spells taking a bigger chunk out of them than normal attacks. Ariel should essentially get Bubble ASAP, then Dylan grab Luna Blitz, and finally Kathy's Roast 'cause otherwise it'll take a while to bash any monster to death with normal attacks (though I suppose Kathy's normal attack is weak since she has low physical atk; her magic on the other hand hits hard for 100+).
I've noticed that Aiden and Katherine kind of take a backseat when it comes to the conversations with Eric. Ariel and Dylan are also the only ones to comment on the equipment in the Training Hall. I hope Aiden and Katherine don't get overshadowed by those two.
Dynastia
Hmm, random flower for a title page. Might want to find something better. I'm not fond of the font style which has horizontal slashes through the letters but maybe that's just me. Ah, scrolling background info. Whenever I see these I have to read them quickly and then I forget about them afterwards. They just don't click in my mind. That's partly because I tend to not care about info dumps, regardless of the amount.
Tragic event leading in destuction (opening info) 'in' should be 'to'
Below is my unofficial review, grammar corrections, bugs I've found, and suggestions.
Tragic event leading in destuction (opening info) 'in' should be 'to'
Below is my unofficial review, grammar corrections, bugs I've found, and suggestions.
There's a slight pause when you click Save and when you click Continue on the title page. I mean it's not that bad but I'm just used to a smooth transition that it just feels wrong. Same with the Vending Machine and all other Item Stores which don't immediately show the options (Buy/Sell/Equip/Cancel).
Why are you accusing me! There should be a question mark. Though since he's shouting it, you don't take away the exclamation point. I personally prefer !? over ?! but it's your call.
I know you caused that earthquake! I think explosion fits better. An earthquake would have a more wide area effect, granted the weaker ones won't necessarily cause damage...
Fine I did it... Comma after 'fine'.
What do you mean it worked! Again, this is not just shouting but also a question. I'll just put !? from now on for this type of correction.
Is that thing in your DEATH ARMOR! !?
Yo although it only knows how to smash staff. Ya should be Yes/Yeah followed by a comma.
Were not your worse students. Apostrophe between we're. !?
Huh you guys managed to summon a Sopum. Add a comma after huh. There's a slight pause when you go 'Huh'.
Ruckess is misspelled. It's ruckus.
I got a special punishment for you. I have, remove 'got'
What could that be! !? (...What is it? sounds better though. I don't think most people shout 'What is it!?' when someone says they have a punishment for them.)
Do you remember the rules I tell every new arrival to our school. Question mark.
Personally, I feel that the rule 'Don't fight another student' is too narrow. How about 'Don't harm another student physically or mentally.'?
Stronger magic Demon magic. Add a colon after magic.
Isn't that one of the most powerful mage signs you can be born under! !?
I want you and Aiden to give him a brief tour and then send him out as quick as you can. 'and then bring him to my office.' sounds better.
Ok May I ask who he fought? Period after Ok.
Get some rest, He will Should be a period if that comma was supposed to be one. Otherwise, 'He' needs to be under-case since it's not the start of a sentence.
I think all cases of 'Wow' should have a comma after them.
Fine but only because we get to meet a hero Comma after fine. There's a pause when you say it.
Unfortunately I can't remember any songs right now. (Examining piano) Comma after unfortunately.
Ariel's Pretty Guard armor description (feminin) is missing an 'e' at the end. I'm no expert on bows but I doubt her Practice Bow is inherently inaccurate. I think it has more to do with the skills and aim of the archer than the weapon itself. And if there is really something defective about the bow's design (like being damaged) that makes its shots erratic, why is she still using it (money issues to get a new one aside)?
'Run down' (after leaving the lab) should be 'Rundown'.
Club Elite? Disregarding how uninspired the name is, some students apparently have a lot of self-importance. Need a comma after 'Sorry' in Yuki Toruni's text.
Looted two lockers for some herbs. I'll pretend they belonged to people in Club Elite. Their fault for not locking them... unless they were my lockers?
The laundry machine in the dorm, when examined, should have 'all in one' be hyphenated as 'all-in-one'.
Ariel: Thanks for walking me to my room.
Aiden: ...Ya.
Aiden seems to like replacing 'yeah' with 'ya'.
You can be so cute when your embarrassed. You're.
There is no need need to tease. Sounds unnatural (not to mention missing a 'me' at the end). Try 'Don't tease me like that...'
Where can I meet you tommorow? It's two 'r's, not 'm's.
I'm actually busy in the morning. I'll be busy in the morning. (Does Aiden not live in the dorms? I was wondering why I couldn't go into his room.
Can you stall the guy. Question mark. Though, 'Can you keep that guy we're supposed to meet busy?' sounds better.
Just stall him please. Just keep him busy please.
After choosing your response (which apparently doesn't matter), the piano area in Ariel's room is glitched with blocks from the blue menu screen (I think it's from the response box 'Hell No/Fine' which apparently didn't disappear). Also, where's the toilet? And if the upper-left corner is the bathroom, she apparently bathes in a sink? Unless she's religious, I don't think having random angel statues in her room is a good design choice. Why have a Journal for saving if you can already do it anywhere? For flavor text?
When I examine the piano in her room, I get "Cool(put a comma here) a new song" or "I've already learned this song." However, after that I get an empty dialogue box that doesn't go away until 5 seconds have passed (this also happens with the piano in the lab where you start the game). For students at a magic academy, they sure have a lack in any... well, magic. Have they not been learning anything all this time?
Mystery Girl: Do we really have to do this. Question mark.
Mystery Guy: Guys if you don't think you can do this than turn back. Comma after 'Guys', 'then' instead of than.
Blonde Woman: Don't you think for one second were going to leave you to do this alone. We're.
Mystery Man: Okay Let's do this. Comma after 'Okay'.
A woman who has no memories (Status > General) Contradicts her 'Child' title.
By the way, the blue response box that I mentioned before that covered the piano area in Ariel's room? It persists into the Mystery Group's dialogue scene and into the 'Nightmare' area. It pretty much follows me for the rest of the demo.
Ariel stop right now! Comma after 'Ariel'.
So your not gonna stop! You're. !?
Your the one that needs to stop. You're.
Fine if your not going to listen to reason... Comma after 'Fine'. You're.
If I told someone I was gonna kill them, I'd probably shout it angrily. Dylan... he just has that one eye closed expression.
When meeting Dylan at the school gate, he says 'your' instead of 'you're'. ...Notice a pattern? Also, his long hair sprite made me mistake him for Ariel. When I interacted with the person at the end of the 'Nightmare', I was like "When did my sprite suddenly turn into Ariel?' when I saw Dylan from behind. Heh.
Soul Stealer says it 'strengthens yourself'. This is misleading since it drains their HP to heal yourself. Replace 'strengthens' with 'heal'.
Rocky Toruni: Sorry but I'm only allowed members of Club Elite to enter. 'allowed to let in'. Also, comma after 'Sorry'. Lol, at Ariel commenting on him saying the same thing as his sister.
Rachel (girl in the room with the martini glass sign on top): We havn't. Haven't. 'Find a local pub to help us out.' is too demanding.' Something like 'Could you please find a local pub to help us out?' Why would they need trade routes or a local pub anyway? Trying to run a business that sells alcohol on school premises? That's quite daring of her, especially since the Headmaster is right next door. Interesting thing to note: if you leave that room, you exit out of the room next door (with the gun sign) instead.
Pretty Gloves (sold in the Gun sign room) have the description 'Their pretty'. 'Their' should be 'They're'. You're not very good with homonyms, are you? Make sure to check out all cases where you've used 'your' when it should be 'you're', okay?
So it turns out the School Weapon Store sells those... practice bows with inherent accuracy problems. No wonder Ariel has one! They're forcing their students to use defective products!
The Control Bracelets come off as odd to me. 'Bracelets worn by summoners.' Okay, so why do they wear them if they don't have any special effect? Is it fashionable for summoners to wear them? Top-brand for summoner accessories? I'm being rhetorical by the way.
Personally, I think Aiden should already have Lab Goggles considering the dangerous experiments he dabbles in but that's just my reasoning.
-Training Hall-
Dylan: I should of got a statue built when I had the chance. 'should haveof gotten'
Aiden: Ariel I made you a Heart Ring. Comma after Ariel. Funny thing is that you can equip it to the other different girl instead of Ariel. I guess if you do then Ariel is basically showing that she doesn't appreciate the gift since she doesn't keep it for herself. Re-gifting something you were given is also quite offensive.
Ariel: Is that why you took so long! !?
Ariel: Were...Not lik- We're
???: Oooh is love in the air!!! Comma after 'Oooh' and... you know the drill by now. !? when shouting questions, not just exclamation points.
Dylan: Katherine I was wondering Comma after Katherine.
Katherine: I could perk your spirits right up! I don't think anyone says it like that. How about 'I'll cheer you right up!' instead?
Dylan: Is she really that strict! !?
Dylan: Ya...In the most sadistic way possible. Oh no! Now Dylan is using 'ya' too! Again, it should be 'yes' or 'yeah'. Also, 'In' should be under-cased. The ellipses in this case aren't ending a sentence.
Dylan: I got an idea! I've
Ariel: Isn't that great. There should be a question mark. However, I feel this response isn't sarcastic enough. Try 'Good for you.'
Katherine: Why don't we try out the training room while were here We're
Ariel: 'couldof have'
The first armor (brown one) in the Training Hall needs a question mark for its examine text: 'Who could move in something so heavy.'
The leftmost helmet's examine text: 'The blacksmiths this school sucks' needs 'at' before 'this'.
The hat? below the axes needs a question mark for its examine text.
The whip's text needs a comma after 'Eww' (Ariel).
This is pretty dull to call a sword. Replace 'pretty' with 'too'.
Andie (guy at behind the counter in the Training Hall): If you find something good give it to me Comma after 'good'.
So by talking to Andie, Ariel can learn the Songs that she said that she already learned from playing those two pianos? Okay then. How do I teach my other characters skills?
I've noticed that Dylan and Katherine don't have any skills/magic when they join Ariel/Aiden's party. Clearly, that can't be right.
I didn't enjoy the battles in the demo. The Nightmare ones or the Training Hall ones. Neither required any strategy. The Training Hall is worse though since you don't get any offensive skills (besides Ariel's Bubble) and so you have to spam normal attack until your enemies are dead. Then again, this being a demo and the monsters in question being slimes and bats, I probably shouldn't have too high expectations or be too critical.
I'd like to note that Dylan's Luna Blitz (a power 3 skill that costs 25 TP) is stronger than Moon Slash (a power 4 skill that costs 100 TP). Katherine's Choke seems to be weak for a Power 6 skill. I think it might be a physical attack which explains everything since her physical atk. is less than her magic atk. The Assassin's Snipe is pretty much as strong as a normal attack. The Child's Beast Mode is Power 8 with a cost of 100 TP but her Seal Commands is Power 5, 50 TP cost, and can inflict Mute.
The instant healer next to the stairs leading down to the basement: 'Your all healed now.' You're
Headmaster: Katherine I'm not angry with you. Comma after Katherine.
Katherine: You're not! !?
Headmaster: No in fact I was Comma after 'No'.
Dylan: Katherine should of never been treated like a slave! 'shouldof have' So forcing someone to study and do homework is like slavery? Granted, she wasn't allowed any social interaction but still that's quite an exaggeration.
Ariel: Comma after 'Wow'.
Comeback is one word.
Headmaster: Ariel I'm sorry for lieing Comma after Ariel, lying is the correct spelling.
I wanted you to keep Dylan busy while I got the proper paperwork for his enrollment. 'Got' makes it sound odd. Try 'gathered'.
Ariel: ENROLLMENT! !?
Headmaster: After all I am sending you four on a secret assignment. Comma after 'all'.
Headmaster: This isn't a punishment but I need you guys to listen carefully on what I'm about to tell you. Replace 'on' with 'to.
Five years ago the city of Revelin was destroyed and in its remains created a portal to the demon world. Comma after 'ago', remove 'in'. Though I'm not sure how the remains of a destroyed city created a portal. It'd make more sense if the destruction of the city is what caused the portal to be formed.
Dylan's demon magic though dangerous is our only hope Comma after 'magic' and another after 'dangerous'.
This will be no easy task so I have created a couple assets to help you in your journey.
Dylan's has a fairy You don't need an apostrophe. Only when it's actually in front of something that person owns. For example: Dylan's fairy.
That Headmaster sure gets angry fast (I've had enough!). All it took was Dylan saying that Ariel & Aiden shouldn't come on the mission and that he can just bring back the good old team for it instead.
Leave my office, I will make travel preparations. The comma should be a period.
Ariel: Wow she really doesn't like you. Comma after 'Wow'.
Zack: Well I wasn't sure what Comma after 'Well'.
Well in order to cover the expenses this place brings, I put in a restaurant and a casino, I have other things underway too. Comma after 'Well'. Period after 'casino'.
Well if you're asking about shops then no but I do have skilled craftsman Comma after 'Well'. Comma after 'no'. Craftsmen is the plural. If you meant singular then you need an 'a' before 'skilled'.
How about I propose a deal! !?
I'll have a small item shop and if I see profit I'll look Period after shop. Remove and, capitalize 'if', comma after 'profit': I'll have a small item shop. If I see profit, I'll look
Have a look around and explore, When your finished looking around find me and Period after 'explore' and after 'around'.Your You're
Blonde Andy: I'm selling a couple items if your interested. You're
Pink Andy: If you have some good materials I will trade you a skill scroll. Comma after 'materials'.
Apparently, there are three 'Andy's in this game (four if you count 'Andie) and they're all shopkeepers/skill scrollers. :P
Leon: Since this is your first time here is Cloudy Stone and Angel Dust. Comma after 'time', put 'some' after 'is', and put 'free of charge' after 'Dust'. The 'd' in 'and' got cut off by the way.
Leon: Now give them too me Homonyms... 'To' goes here, not 'too'.
The Ingredients say Cloudy Dust 3/0 and 1/0 after crafting Healing Potions. It makes more sense for it to be 0/3 and 0/1 instead.
If you go out of the Teleporter Room, you exit from the Hallway (with the purple crystals) instead.
I think that's the end of the demo? The fact that the item shop in the Secret Base doesn't sell anything different from the ones in the school and training hall makes me wonder why Ariel even bothered asking Zack to set one up.
You provide response choices but they don't actually do anything (no reaction from the character you're responding to). I suppose they won't have any effect on the story and are just for flavor text/illusion of choice.
I assume that Dylan/Kathy/Aiden don't have skills since this is just a demo after all. By that same logic, that's why you can't purchase any skill scrolls for them either.
When I read 'demons' and 'summons', I thought there would be... well, either of those. But Dylan doesn't have any demonic magic and Aiden doesn't actually summon anything (besides the Sopum in the beginning which like never gets mentioned again afterwards). Rather, Aiden built a robot that I presume he controls remotely from afar.
The thing about Aiden is... why do his stats/equipment matter if it's his robot or summon fighting and taking the hits for him? How does raising his defense transfer over to his helper? If he's weak to thunder, why would his proxy also be weak to that? One way I can justify it is if he formed a mental link with them. Another is that he's actually inside the robot which is sort of a mini-mecha or cyber suit. Hmm, but now that I think about it, it seems you might taken the path where he summoned a spirit (Sopum) to possess that Death Armor. Otherwise, if he stays away from the actual battleground, he will never be fainted and could just bring out another minion if one is defeated.
Now, Aiden has a lot of potential whether he's a beastmaster, robotics engineer, or spiritual medium. You see, that's because they can have different stats (physical or magic lean) and elemental resists. A robot might be short-circuited by water but absorb electricity like no one's business. A mutant dinosaur thingy (what's in the lab vat in the beginning scene) could be resistant to heat (fire) but be terribly sensitive to the cold (ice).
Actually, now that I think about it, his application of creating a physical shell and then conjuring a spiritual entity to take residence in it kind of makes him a MagiScientist. Sure, the process might cause explosions but it's... FOR SCIENCE! If Aiden truly does practice MagiScience, you could make his crafting equipment be different robots with different stats/elemental resists as I've mentioned. By the way, I totally wanted that robot to have missile launchers. It's just blasphemous for it to not have any skills. Maybe give it 'Scan'? Robots are typically capable of analyzing things after all. Gives you a rundown of elemental modifiers unless you think that would make battles too easy? Bosses should definitely have more than one action; high agility.
Anyway, the opening info says that there was a war between people who can do magic and those talented in science. It also said that demons have enslaved humanity. You haven't really driven that across in the actual game however. Sure, the students mention a few details but it doesn't come across as serious. If the muggles hate mages so much, why haven't they attacked the school which they know to be a hub for magical children? After all, fear of magic can only so go so far as a deterrent before hatred overrides any sense of self-preservation. Magic doesn't seem to make one a super-human either. A bullet to the head, a bomb, nerve gas, etc. would kill or affect mages just as easily as any non-magical. Sure, they might have shield spells but if they have to manually project it, against a surprise attack or when they're asleep, they won't be able to react in time. If muggles have attacked the school or killed magicals, why hasn't the Headmaster mentioned any protections for the school against those attacks like, say, an invisibility spell or defensive barrier cast over the area? And the portal to the demon world... The way the Headmaster explains it, it sounds like a recent thing so the whole 'enslave humanity' hasn't happened yet. Or, I suppose she could be withholding that info to not cause panic among the group. If there really was a war between magicals and scientists, why haven't the students made mention of it? No news coverage? Maybe some of them might have lost family in the war? That kind of thing would instill hatred in their hearts or fear for their lives, make them think "Am I really safe here in school?"
Why are you accusing me! There should be a question mark. Though since he's shouting it, you don't take away the exclamation point. I personally prefer !? over ?! but it's your call.
I know you caused that earthquake! I think explosion fits better. An earthquake would have a more wide area effect, granted the weaker ones won't necessarily cause damage...
Fine I did it... Comma after 'fine'.
What do you mean it worked! Again, this is not just shouting but also a question. I'll just put !? from now on for this type of correction.
Is that thing in your DEATH ARMOR! !?
Yo although it only knows how to smash staff. Ya should be Yes/Yeah followed by a comma.
Were not your worse students. Apostrophe between we're. !?
Huh you guys managed to summon a Sopum. Add a comma after huh. There's a slight pause when you go 'Huh'.
Ruckess is misspelled. It's ruckus.
I got a special punishment for you. I have, remove 'got'
What could that be! !? (...What is it? sounds better though. I don't think most people shout 'What is it!?' when someone says they have a punishment for them.)
Do you remember the rules I tell every new arrival to our school. Question mark.
Personally, I feel that the rule 'Don't fight another student' is too narrow. How about 'Don't harm another student physically or mentally.'?
Stronger magic Demon magic. Add a colon after magic.
Isn't that one of the most powerful mage signs you can be born under! !?
I want you and Aiden to give him a brief tour and then send him out as quick as you can. 'and then bring him to my office.' sounds better.
Ok May I ask who he fought? Period after Ok.
Get some rest, He will Should be a period if that comma was supposed to be one. Otherwise, 'He' needs to be under-case since it's not the start of a sentence.
I think all cases of 'Wow' should have a comma after them.
Fine but only because we get to meet a hero Comma after fine. There's a pause when you say it.
Unfortunately I can't remember any songs right now. (Examining piano) Comma after unfortunately.
Ariel's Pretty Guard armor description (feminin) is missing an 'e' at the end. I'm no expert on bows but I doubt her Practice Bow is inherently inaccurate. I think it has more to do with the skills and aim of the archer than the weapon itself. And if there is really something defective about the bow's design (like being damaged) that makes its shots erratic, why is she still using it (money issues to get a new one aside)?
'Run down' (after leaving the lab) should be 'Rundown'.
Club Elite? Disregarding how uninspired the name is, some students apparently have a lot of self-importance. Need a comma after 'Sorry' in Yuki Toruni's text.
Looted two lockers for some herbs. I'll pretend they belonged to people in Club Elite. Their fault for not locking them... unless they were my lockers?
The laundry machine in the dorm, when examined, should have 'all in one' be hyphenated as 'all-in-one'.
Ariel: Thanks for walking me to my room.
Aiden: ...Ya.
Aiden seems to like replacing 'yeah' with 'ya'.
You can be so cute when your embarrassed. You're.
There is no need need to tease. Sounds unnatural (not to mention missing a 'me' at the end). Try 'Don't tease me like that...'
Where can I meet you tommorow? It's two 'r's, not 'm's.
I'm actually busy in the morning. I'll be busy in the morning. (Does Aiden not live in the dorms? I was wondering why I couldn't go into his room.
Can you stall the guy. Question mark. Though, 'Can you keep that guy we're supposed to meet busy?' sounds better.
Just stall him please. Just keep him busy please.
After choosing your response (which apparently doesn't matter), the piano area in Ariel's room is glitched with blocks from the blue menu screen (I think it's from the response box 'Hell No/Fine' which apparently didn't disappear). Also, where's the toilet? And if the upper-left corner is the bathroom, she apparently bathes in a sink? Unless she's religious, I don't think having random angel statues in her room is a good design choice. Why have a Journal for saving if you can already do it anywhere? For flavor text?
When I examine the piano in her room, I get "Cool(put a comma here) a new song" or "I've already learned this song." However, after that I get an empty dialogue box that doesn't go away until 5 seconds have passed (this also happens with the piano in the lab where you start the game). For students at a magic academy, they sure have a lack in any... well, magic. Have they not been learning anything all this time?
Mystery Girl: Do we really have to do this. Question mark.
Mystery Guy: Guys if you don't think you can do this than turn back. Comma after 'Guys', 'then' instead of than.
Blonde Woman: Don't you think for one second were going to leave you to do this alone. We're.
Mystery Man: Okay Let's do this. Comma after 'Okay'.
A woman who has no memories (Status > General) Contradicts her 'Child' title.
By the way, the blue response box that I mentioned before that covered the piano area in Ariel's room? It persists into the Mystery Group's dialogue scene and into the 'Nightmare' area. It pretty much follows me for the rest of the demo.
Ariel stop right now! Comma after 'Ariel'.
So your not gonna stop! You're. !?
Your the one that needs to stop. You're.
Fine if your not going to listen to reason... Comma after 'Fine'. You're.
If I told someone I was gonna kill them, I'd probably shout it angrily. Dylan... he just has that one eye closed expression.
When meeting Dylan at the school gate, he says 'your' instead of 'you're'. ...Notice a pattern? Also, his long hair sprite made me mistake him for Ariel. When I interacted with the person at the end of the 'Nightmare', I was like "When did my sprite suddenly turn into Ariel?' when I saw Dylan from behind. Heh.
Soul Stealer says it 'strengthens yourself'. This is misleading since it drains their HP to heal yourself. Replace 'strengthens' with 'heal'.
Rocky Toruni: Sorry but I'm only allowed members of Club Elite to enter. 'allowed to let in'. Also, comma after 'Sorry'. Lol, at Ariel commenting on him saying the same thing as his sister.
Rachel (girl in the room with the martini glass sign on top): We havn't. Haven't. 'Find a local pub to help us out.' is too demanding.' Something like 'Could you please find a local pub to help us out?' Why would they need trade routes or a local pub anyway? Trying to run a business that sells alcohol on school premises? That's quite daring of her, especially since the Headmaster is right next door. Interesting thing to note: if you leave that room, you exit out of the room next door (with the gun sign) instead.
Pretty Gloves (sold in the Gun sign room) have the description 'Their pretty'. 'Their' should be 'They're'. You're not very good with homonyms, are you? Make sure to check out all cases where you've used 'your' when it should be 'you're', okay?
So it turns out the School Weapon Store sells those... practice bows with inherent accuracy problems. No wonder Ariel has one! They're forcing their students to use defective products!
The Control Bracelets come off as odd to me. 'Bracelets worn by summoners.' Okay, so why do they wear them if they don't have any special effect? Is it fashionable for summoners to wear them? Top-brand for summoner accessories? I'm being rhetorical by the way.
Personally, I think Aiden should already have Lab Goggles considering the dangerous experiments he dabbles in but that's just my reasoning.
-Training Hall-
Dylan: I should of got a statue built when I had the chance. 'should have
Aiden: Ariel I made you a Heart Ring. Comma after Ariel. Funny thing is that you can equip it to the other different girl instead of Ariel. I guess if you do then Ariel is basically showing that she doesn't appreciate the gift since she doesn't keep it for herself. Re-gifting something you were given is also quite offensive.
Ariel: Is that why you took so long! !?
Ariel: Were...Not lik- We're
???: Oooh is love in the air!!! Comma after 'Oooh' and... you know the drill by now. !? when shouting questions, not just exclamation points.
Dylan: Katherine I was wondering Comma after Katherine.
Katherine: I could perk your spirits right up! I don't think anyone says it like that. How about 'I'll cheer you right up!' instead?
Dylan: Is she really that strict! !?
Dylan: Ya...In the most sadistic way possible. Oh no! Now Dylan is using 'ya' too! Again, it should be 'yes' or 'yeah'. Also, 'In' should be under-cased. The ellipses in this case aren't ending a sentence.
Dylan: I got an idea! I've
Ariel: Isn't that great. There should be a question mark. However, I feel this response isn't sarcastic enough. Try 'Good for you.'
Katherine: Why don't we try out the training room while were here We're
Ariel: 'could
The first armor (brown one) in the Training Hall needs a question mark for its examine text: 'Who could move in something so heavy.'
The leftmost helmet's examine text: 'The blacksmiths this school sucks' needs 'at' before 'this'.
The hat? below the axes needs a question mark for its examine text.
The whip's text needs a comma after 'Eww' (Ariel).
This is pretty dull to call a sword. Replace 'pretty' with 'too'.
Andie (guy at behind the counter in the Training Hall): If you find something good give it to me Comma after 'good'.
So by talking to Andie, Ariel can learn the Songs that she said that she already learned from playing those two pianos? Okay then. How do I teach my other characters skills?
I've noticed that Dylan and Katherine don't have any skills/magic when they join Ariel/Aiden's party. Clearly, that can't be right.
I didn't enjoy the battles in the demo. The Nightmare ones or the Training Hall ones. Neither required any strategy. The Training Hall is worse though since you don't get any offensive skills (besides Ariel's Bubble) and so you have to spam normal attack until your enemies are dead. Then again, this being a demo and the monsters in question being slimes and bats, I probably shouldn't have too high expectations or be too critical.
I'd like to note that Dylan's Luna Blitz (a power 3 skill that costs 25 TP) is stronger than Moon Slash (a power 4 skill that costs 100 TP). Katherine's Choke seems to be weak for a Power 6 skill. I think it might be a physical attack which explains everything since her physical atk. is less than her magic atk. The Assassin's Snipe is pretty much as strong as a normal attack. The Child's Beast Mode is Power 8 with a cost of 100 TP but her Seal Commands is Power 5, 50 TP cost, and can inflict Mute.
The instant healer next to the stairs leading down to the basement: 'Your all healed now.' You're
Headmaster: Katherine I'm not angry with you. Comma after Katherine.
Katherine: You're not! !?
Headmaster: No in fact I was Comma after 'No'.
Dylan: Katherine should of never been treated like a slave! 'should
Ariel: Comma after 'Wow'.
Comeback is one word.
Headmaster: Ariel I'm sorry for lieing Comma after Ariel, lying is the correct spelling.
I wanted you to keep Dylan busy while I got the proper paperwork for his enrollment. 'Got' makes it sound odd. Try 'gathered'.
Ariel: ENROLLMENT! !?
Headmaster: After all I am sending you four on a secret assignment. Comma after 'all'.
Headmaster: This isn't a punishment but I need you guys to listen carefully on what I'm about to tell you. Replace 'on' with 'to.
Five years ago the city of Revelin was destroyed and in its remains created a portal to the demon world. Comma after 'ago', remove 'in'. Though I'm not sure how the remains of a destroyed city created a portal. It'd make more sense if the destruction of the city is what caused the portal to be formed.
Dylan's demon magic though dangerous is our only hope Comma after 'magic' and another after 'dangerous'.
This will be no easy task so I have created a couple assets to help you in your journey.
Dylan's has a fairy You don't need an apostrophe. Only when it's actually in front of something that person owns. For example: Dylan's fairy.
That Headmaster sure gets angry fast (I've had enough!). All it took was Dylan saying that Ariel & Aiden shouldn't come on the mission and that he can just bring back the good old team for it instead.
Leave my office, I will make travel preparations. The comma should be a period.
Ariel: Wow she really doesn't like you. Comma after 'Wow'.
Zack: Well I wasn't sure what Comma after 'Well'.
Well in order to cover the expenses this place brings, I put in a restaurant and a casino, I have other things underway too. Comma after 'Well'. Period after 'casino'.
Well if you're asking about shops then no but I do have skilled craftsman Comma after 'Well'. Comma after 'no'. Craftsmen is the plural. If you meant singular then you need an 'a' before 'skilled'.
How about I propose a deal! !?
I'll have a small item shop and if I see profit I'll look Period after shop. Remove and, capitalize 'if', comma after 'profit': I'll have a small item shop. If I see profit, I'll look
Have a look around and explore, When your finished looking around find me and Period after 'explore' and after 'around'.
Blonde Andy: I'm selling a couple items if your interested. You're
Pink Andy: If you have some good materials I will trade you a skill scroll. Comma after 'materials'.
Apparently, there are three 'Andy's in this game (four if you count 'Andie) and they're all shopkeepers/skill scrollers. :P
Leon: Since this is your first time here is Cloudy Stone and Angel Dust. Comma after 'time', put 'some' after 'is', and put 'free of charge' after 'Dust'. The 'd' in 'and' got cut off by the way.
Leon: Now give them too me Homonyms... 'To' goes here, not 'too'.
The Ingredients say Cloudy Dust 3/0 and 1/0 after crafting Healing Potions. It makes more sense for it to be 0/3 and 0/1 instead.
If you go out of the Teleporter Room, you exit from the Hallway (with the purple crystals) instead.
I think that's the end of the demo? The fact that the item shop in the Secret Base doesn't sell anything different from the ones in the school and training hall makes me wonder why Ariel even bothered asking Zack to set one up.
You provide response choices but they don't actually do anything (no reaction from the character you're responding to). I suppose they won't have any effect on the story and are just for flavor text/illusion of choice.
I assume that Dylan/Kathy/Aiden don't have skills since this is just a demo after all. By that same logic, that's why you can't purchase any skill scrolls for them either.
When I read 'demons' and 'summons', I thought there would be... well, either of those. But Dylan doesn't have any demonic magic and Aiden doesn't actually summon anything (besides the Sopum in the beginning which like never gets mentioned again afterwards). Rather, Aiden built a robot that I presume he controls remotely from afar.
The thing about Aiden is... why do his stats/equipment matter if it's his robot or summon fighting and taking the hits for him? How does raising his defense transfer over to his helper? If he's weak to thunder, why would his proxy also be weak to that? One way I can justify it is if he formed a mental link with them. Another is that he's actually inside the robot which is sort of a mini-mecha or cyber suit. Hmm, but now that I think about it, it seems you might taken the path where he summoned a spirit (Sopum) to possess that Death Armor. Otherwise, if he stays away from the actual battleground, he will never be fainted and could just bring out another minion if one is defeated.
Now, Aiden has a lot of potential whether he's a beastmaster, robotics engineer, or spiritual medium. You see, that's because they can have different stats (physical or magic lean) and elemental resists. A robot might be short-circuited by water but absorb electricity like no one's business. A mutant dinosaur thingy (what's in the lab vat in the beginning scene) could be resistant to heat (fire) but be terribly sensitive to the cold (ice).
Actually, now that I think about it, his application of creating a physical shell and then conjuring a spiritual entity to take residence in it kind of makes him a MagiScientist. Sure, the process might cause explosions but it's... FOR SCIENCE! If Aiden truly does practice MagiScience, you could make his crafting equipment be different robots with different stats/elemental resists as I've mentioned. By the way, I totally wanted that robot to have missile launchers. It's just blasphemous for it to not have any skills. Maybe give it 'Scan'? Robots are typically capable of analyzing things after all. Gives you a rundown of elemental modifiers unless you think that would make battles too easy? Bosses should definitely have more than one action; high agility.
Anyway, the opening info says that there was a war between people who can do magic and those talented in science. It also said that demons have enslaved humanity. You haven't really driven that across in the actual game however. Sure, the students mention a few details but it doesn't come across as serious. If the muggles hate mages so much, why haven't they attacked the school which they know to be a hub for magical children? After all, fear of magic can only so go so far as a deterrent before hatred overrides any sense of self-preservation. Magic doesn't seem to make one a super-human either. A bullet to the head, a bomb, nerve gas, etc. would kill or affect mages just as easily as any non-magical. Sure, they might have shield spells but if they have to manually project it, against a surprise attack or when they're asleep, they won't be able to react in time. If muggles have attacked the school or killed magicals, why hasn't the Headmaster mentioned any protections for the school against those attacks like, say, an invisibility spell or defensive barrier cast over the area? And the portal to the demon world... The way the Headmaster explains it, it sounds like a recent thing so the whole 'enslave humanity' hasn't happened yet. Or, I suppose she could be withholding that info to not cause panic among the group. If there really was a war between magicals and scientists, why haven't the students made mention of it? No news coverage? Maybe some of them might have lost family in the war? That kind of thing would instill hatred in their hearts or fear for their lives, make them think "Am I really safe here in school?"
Star Stealing Prince
Snowe is so cute. I kind of ship him with a certain elfish bodyguard... It's heartbreaking to see
When I first started the game and talked to the townspeople. They were all so friendly and some even gave me gifts.
The battles didn't require any strategy. All of them amounted to: healing, keep the boss debuffed, buff your own team, and guard against their charged attack. So that was a bit disappointing.
Next is plot and presentation:
You've definitely heard it from others before but the backgrounds are beautiful; a lovely Winter Wonderland. The way the houses are lit give their interiors a warm and snugly atmosphere. As for the Snowmen scattered across the island...
Have you seen the fanart of this game that people have drawn on Tumblr? I have. My favorite is this Chinese New Year one. If that isn't an indication that you guys have done a stellar job making this game, then I don't know what is!
So no progress on Maladaptive Daydream? Maddox's cuteness is on par with Snowe's. Same with Eagen in Homework Salesman. I've developed a fondness for the way in which the characters are drawn. It has a distinctive style to it that ties all your games together.
him repeatedly damaged emotionally and gradually develop dark circles due to stress and nightmares. The battle against his parents was particularly cruel since they don't remember him and his father even tortured him via electrocution before then. Then came the explanations upon returning to the castle. Snowe looked so... fragile the way he sat curled up and covered in bandages. Kudos to whoever drew that scene 'cause it really conveyed his turmoil to me. When you finally enter his parents' room... well, that's just rubbing salt in the wounds.
When I first started the game and talked to the townspeople. They were all so friendly and some even gave me gifts.
Personally, I felt that they were a bit too trusting letting me into their houses and letting me dust their glasses. But after defeating the first boss and coming back, the cheerful atmosphere had disappeared and the doors were all locked with no one outside. The somber theme that now played drove that point further home. One exposition later and the horrible truth was revealed. The fact that people tell you to leave their houses if you enter didn't help matters either.
The battles didn't require any strategy. All of them amounted to: healing, keep the boss debuffed, buff your own team, and guard against their charged attack. So that was a bit disappointing.
The group of enemies you fight when you turn the teleportation circle in the West Tower to a certain color did kill me however. Though the only reason they succeeded was because one of them hit me with mass-confusion? I don't remember very well. All I know is that they immobilized me and then picked me off when I couldn't do anything.
Funny story about my encounters with bosses... You see, I was fighting the West Tower's boss and I would just get wrecked no matter how careful I was with guarding against otherwise lethal electric attacks with my water character. I'd been holding on to my Scary Mask & Trumpet up to this point without using them 'cause I thought the x1 meant they were single-use and I wanted to save them for the final boss. If I had realized they were re-usable, well, I would not have been killed like twenty times. The dying part wasn't so bad. It was having to re-watch the cutscene leading up to the fight that was tedious. I don't suppose there was a skip function for what you've already read? The cycle only broke when I said "To heck with this! I'm using them!" So I did and I realized I was an idiot for not trying that sooner when it turned out they were infinite use. ...At least I beat all the bosses before the West Tower one without them and they were more "challenging" because of that?
So I finally won after that. The way that battle was done was very nice. You know, having to start with two characters and having to survive until the third arrives? It mixed things up and was a refreshing change. The two areas where Snowe could hang out withhis boyfriend Erio were a nice touch too. I totally tried to steal his magic earrings (equipment) but they were un-removable. Curse you for not allowing me to satisfy my kleptomaniac urges!
Anyway, debuffing is extremely vital starting from that boss all the way to the last one. They will just massacre you if you don't. Who knew toys from children would help you save lives and defeat ancient beings of incredible power? I do have one problem with them though the fault lies more in the status condition display than the items. You see, it only shows like the four most recent debuffs/statuses inflicted. So if you go over that amount, you won't see the icon for the oldest effect. This becomes an inconvenience when a debuff runs out without you knowing though you'll realize that when the boss smacks you for unmitigated damage. If you're wondering, it's poison (Relenia) and burn (Snowe) that I usually dispense on my enemies (though Relenia's water attack dousing Snowe's burn makes it tricky to apply poison sometimes). Then when Hiante learned 'Sandstorm' I would apply its blind as well.
Now, onward to the topic of Ultimate Attacks. Well, I find that Astra's is outclassed by her party buff/healing one which is better overall since it increases the damage output of everyone rather than doing like 900 dmg which everyone else's Ultimate also does. I usually use hers first and then Relenia's which debuffs enemy defense. So with Astra's dmg buff and Relenia's def debuff, I can maximize damage with Snowe and Hiante's Ultimates. The only flaw to my plan is when their attack misses. It totally sucks when it does. I've even missed some times when I had Hiante use Focus to increase his accuracy. All that build-up for nothing.
Funny story about my encounters with bosses... You see, I was fighting the West Tower's boss and I would just get wrecked no matter how careful I was with guarding against otherwise lethal electric attacks with my water character. I'd been holding on to my Scary Mask & Trumpet up to this point without using them 'cause I thought the x1 meant they were single-use and I wanted to save them for the final boss. If I had realized they were re-usable, well, I would not have been killed like twenty times. The dying part wasn't so bad. It was having to re-watch the cutscene leading up to the fight that was tedious. I don't suppose there was a skip function for what you've already read? The cycle only broke when I said "To heck with this! I'm using them!" So I did and I realized I was an idiot for not trying that sooner when it turned out they were infinite use. ...At least I beat all the bosses before the West Tower one without them and they were more "challenging" because of that?
So I finally won after that. The way that battle was done was very nice. You know, having to start with two characters and having to survive until the third arrives? It mixed things up and was a refreshing change. The two areas where Snowe could hang out with
Anyway, debuffing is extremely vital starting from that boss all the way to the last one. They will just massacre you if you don't. Who knew toys from children would help you save lives and defeat ancient beings of incredible power? I do have one problem with them though the fault lies more in the status condition display than the items. You see, it only shows like the four most recent debuffs/statuses inflicted. So if you go over that amount, you won't see the icon for the oldest effect. This becomes an inconvenience when a debuff runs out without you knowing though you'll realize that when the boss smacks you for unmitigated damage. If you're wondering, it's poison (Relenia) and burn (Snowe) that I usually dispense on my enemies (though Relenia's water attack dousing Snowe's burn makes it tricky to apply poison sometimes). Then when Hiante learned 'Sandstorm' I would apply its blind as well.
Now, onward to the topic of Ultimate Attacks. Well, I find that Astra's is outclassed by her party buff/healing one which is better overall since it increases the damage output of everyone rather than doing like 900 dmg which everyone else's Ultimate also does. I usually use hers first and then Relenia's which debuffs enemy defense. So with Astra's dmg buff and Relenia's def debuff, I can maximize damage with Snowe and Hiante's Ultimates. The only flaw to my plan is when their attack misses. It totally sucks when it does. I've even missed some times when I had Hiante use Focus to increase his accuracy. All that build-up for nothing.
Next is plot and presentation:
It was delivered masterfully. This is where it shines. Every time you reconvened with the Advisor (forgot his name) you knew some important information was about to be learned. But what was really amazing to me was the build-up to the optional and final bosses. When you do end up fighting them, you're definitely filled with the motivation and desire to see the defeat of an antagonist plaguing and mocking you the entire game.
"And this is what happens when I give you way too much freedom! You bring in a guest that wrecks everything!"
"I had many chances, you know."
"But that stupid king that summoned me thought you were cute! I couldn't even make him slice your throat like he should have!"
"Would have saved me so much from this trouble that your family created--that you continue to create!"
"Snowe--distract him! I think I remember that spell the read me used against Lorel!"
"Give me a minute! I can weaken him a bit more than he already is!"
"NO! DON'T YOU DARE!"
"How dare you--you stupid bitch!"
"I've killed you countless times now and you think I'll be tamed by that spell?!"
"He's lying to bide himself time! Hurry before the spell wears off!"
That was one of my favorite scenes due to dialogue. The other is when the final boss says that he'll kill them all and devour their souls and that their deaths were a long coming. It was quite villainous. But the clincher was when Snowe shot back with his 'The Reason You Suck Speech'.
"Yeah, what they did was terrible--but you're just killing innocent people! You should have died a long time ago--but you still cling here to
an empty island."
"You're insane and I will stop you from harming my kingdom. I'm not going to die and we will take you down."
Hmm, while the final battle is impossible to lose so long as you keep the debuffs active and guard against the Focus Attack (essentially you do the same thing you did for every other boss), I did love how all the townspeople chip in to help and that they show you that they've got your back. It reminds me of Persona 4's final boss if you've ever played that.
My favorite tracks in the game are 'Royal Rumble' which plays during the fiery climax against the Demon and the theme for when the boat is sailing away. It's a triumphant sound that instills you with the feeling that everyone is safe, we've won, and our troubles are over. 'Course, that makes it all the more jarring if you're on the Bad End route considering the awful thing that happens next...
"And this is what happens when I give you way too much freedom! You bring in a guest that wrecks everything!"
"I had many chances, you know."
"But that stupid king that summoned me thought you were cute! I couldn't even make him slice your throat like he should have!"
"Would have saved me so much from this trouble that your family created--that you continue to create!"
"Snowe--distract him! I think I remember that spell the read me used against Lorel!"
"Give me a minute! I can weaken him a bit more than he already is!"
"NO! DON'T YOU DARE!"
"How dare you--you stupid bitch!"
"I've killed you countless times now and you think I'll be tamed by that spell?!"
"He's lying to bide himself time! Hurry before the spell wears off!"
That was one of my favorite scenes due to dialogue. The other is when the final boss says that he'll kill them all and devour their souls and that their deaths were a long coming. It was quite villainous. But the clincher was when Snowe shot back with his 'The Reason You Suck Speech'.
"Yeah, what they did was terrible--but you're just killing innocent people! You should have died a long time ago--but you still cling here to
an empty island."
"You're insane and I will stop you from harming my kingdom. I'm not going to die and we will take you down."
Hmm, while the final battle is impossible to lose so long as you keep the debuffs active and guard against the Focus Attack (essentially you do the same thing you did for every other boss), I did love how all the townspeople chip in to help and that they show you that they've got your back. It reminds me of Persona 4's final boss if you've ever played that.
My favorite tracks in the game are 'Royal Rumble' which plays during the fiery climax against the Demon and the theme for when the boat is sailing away. It's a triumphant sound that instills you with the feeling that everyone is safe, we've won, and our troubles are over. 'Course, that makes it all the more jarring if you're on the Bad End route considering the awful thing that happens next...
You've definitely heard it from others before but the backgrounds are beautiful; a lovely Winter Wonderland. The way the houses are lit give their interiors a warm and snugly atmosphere. As for the Snowmen scattered across the island...
I enjoyed the conversation with the last one and definitely appreciated it giving me Snowman Mittens, removing Snowe's ice weakness and preventing freezing (though I don't think I've ever encountered any monsters that inflict it).
I also went back to Sabine after everyone evacuated. Got the Green Ribbon for my troubles. Makes me feel like Cloud Strife.
You see,FF games have Pink Ribbon, an accessory which also gives all-status immunity but can only be equipped by females under normal circumstances. Cloud ignores that 'cause, well, he cross-dressed at one point, hehe.
I also went back to Sabine after everyone evacuated. Got the Green Ribbon for my troubles. Makes me feel like Cloud Strife.
You see,FF games have Pink Ribbon, an accessory which also gives all-status immunity but can only be equipped by females under normal circumstances. Cloud ignores that 'cause, well, he cross-dressed at one point, hehe.
Have you seen the fanart of this game that people have drawn on Tumblr? I have. My favorite is this Chinese New Year one. If that isn't an indication that you guys have done a stellar job making this game, then I don't know what is!
So no progress on Maladaptive Daydream? Maddox's cuteness is on par with Snowe's. Same with Eagen in Homework Salesman. I've developed a fondness for the way in which the characters are drawn. It has a distinctive style to it that ties all your games together.
Träumerei
author=Nedras"We're all mad here." I couldn't resist~I'm not crazy, I just wanted to let you know.author=VeynnWe're all a bit crazy at the very least.
Okay, it took a lot longer to get out of the first room than it should have. Partly 'cause I'm stupid in thinking that you have to go in front of--the window, the opened
Books were blocking the way to the cabinet with the axe in it. I had to stand to the left corner of it to access it. Not the left side of it since the interaction spot overlaps at that point to get me the examine bed dialogue instead. I shouldn't have assumed I couldn't interact with the cabinet when that happened but instead tried harder to reach it. Like Nedras said, those books and pillows really get in your way. You might have a cute face Noel but that doesn't excuse you not picking up after yourself!
Anyway, what do you do when you're given an axe? Chop down the locked door of course! Though for some reason I first had to examine the right side ('cause the left is just examining the cabinet) of the window to see if the Magpie was still there before I could do that.
So I finally succeeded in leaving my room! I feel so accomplished. Mankind will speak of this for future generations to come! Okay, dramatics aside, clearly there is something wrong with this family if they lock a child in his room (just realized the significance of the lock being on the outside of the room). Sadly, the axe broke and ruined my plans of going on an ax-crazy murder spree. Drats.
The first I noticed about this mansion... it's dark! Either they've boarded up their windows, closed all the curtains, or are cheapskates when it comes to paying the electric bills 'cause you can barely make out any details in those hallways.
So I was then tasked by the Magpie to fetch it a glass of water. Simple enough where even a complete idiot such as myself couldn't possibly fail! Surely it would be easier than escaping my room. I was proven right though I am slightly concerned that I could not walk around the table on its upper side and had to instead walk all the way around the bottom side. Sure, it doesn't take that much more time but it's the principal of the matter.
So I gave the Magpie the water. Then Noel was scripted to leave the balcony and somehow I was supposed to construe from the dot dot dot what to do next. Luckily for him, I am well versed in that language and translating it revealed that he had suddenly developed an inexplicable desire for stabbing feathered creatures. I suppose it's customary to leave and then immediately come back before you kill someone but I'm not French/German like he is so I wouldn't know. So Noel pulls out not his hunting knife but scissors out of nowhere. Then he contemplates self-harm. Apparently he is a cutter. Prompting to do so results in him experiencing the blissful feeling that I've only ever read of. Unfortunately, he wasn't careful and cut an artery and bled to death.
Choosing no will make Noel murder that bird. I don't find this disturbing at all. It was the right thing to do. Otherwise, that Magpie would have gone on to become intelligent enough to start a bird school which is for birds.
But this was just another typical day in the life of the Albino Russian Dwarf. With his goal accomplished, he then proceeded to return to his room and take a well-deserved break. He didn't lose any sleep over what he did. Later, Noel was woken by a maid who informed him that dinner was ready. Tonight's menu? Roasted magpie. Food always tastes better when you're the one who killed it and Noel did work up quite an appetite fattening up that poultry under the pretense of helping it and then butchering it without remorse. The bookworm thought he did a good job but Granny was not impressed. She showed her displeasure by slapping him on his un-bandaged cheek, leaving a bruise that would swell later and have to be bandaged. She then shrieked "Get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich! Also, no supper tonight!"
So Noel went to the kitchen. But there he met his arch-nemesis... the maid. Ooohhh, but this wasn't your average everyday maid. This was a blue-haired, red-eyed crossdressing pigeon boy meido! Sparks flew as the traps glared at each other. You see, in this world there CAN ONLY BE ONE! What followed was an epic ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny that would forever go down in history as the greatest modelling competition. There are many variations of the tale but all agree on one thing... the few lucky spectators died of nosebleeds caused by viewing the event. There are heretics however who believe it was just an urban legend. Their argument? "Pics or it didn't happen." Many had to concede to that logic. And that's why the previous maid got replaced by Annabelle.
And so ends HikiNeet's abridged interpretation of the demo. And if you're asking "When did the scene after Noel went to sleep happen?" Well, it didn't. I just made that up.
Oh, and Noel should really get those shelves and books dusted and the books on the floor picked up. He must quite lazy if he can't even take care of them. He is a disgrace to avid readers everywhere! Though I'm kind of the last person who should be saying that since my literary possessions are in the same state. I can say from experience that dust bunnies aren't something you should be looking forward to on your pages.
You sure like drawing boys in frilly and lacy clothing... Not that I'm complaining, hehe. This does make me wonder about their choice of undergarments... Err, anyway! I checked out your Facebook and Tumblr. That Noel in a wedding dress (made me think of Reimu Hakurei and then Flandre Scarlet) and dem fishnet stockings... Strutting around in those lacy boots--a performance further accentuated by how much leg he's showing--he's just asking to be kidnapped! The Hunger Games fanart just leads credence to him being unhinged. It's always the cute and quiet ones!
The way he holds that red book reminds of Allen from Alice Mare. In fact, they both happen to wear suspenders and are usually sporting a stoic expression. If we take it even further, Letty from the same series also has the same taste in coats and ribbons (even if they're not the same color).
I hope to see some animal-eared/tailed boys since you wrote that he find himself in a dark 'Wonderland' (The journal lied; there are no illustrations nor can you read it). Yeeessssss, a Cheshire Cat and White Rabbit--Wait, we already have the latter in the form of Noel, hehe~
"Oh! What a cute little bunny rabbit. Just what I always wanted: my own little bunny rabbit. I will name him George and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him. And rub him and caress him and stroke him and cuddle him so he will never feel rejected or lack for love."
Err, so have I proven myself worthy of joining the NoelStalking Appreciation Fan Club yet? I saw the sprites for Azelle and Rue by the way. They look nice.
I see that you like 1BitHeart if the fanart you drew of the main character was any indication. Nanashi is indeed very kawaii~ I actually haven't finished that game. You see, when I first learned of it only two chapters were out. The game's long been complete now though. I've just never gotten around to doing it. I'll get back to you on my favorite character(s) if I don't forget to do so. The places in that game are so beautiful, the soundtrack wonderful to listen to, and the character designs are cute.
Thanks for having the DETERMINATION to get through my loquacious post. Here's a Pokemon Gijinka Trap for all your troubles. I found it while surfing the web and I thought it might interest you. Who knows? Maybe it'll inspire you. Keep up the good work!
Anyway, what do you do when you're given an axe? Chop down the locked door of course! Though for some reason I first had to examine the right side ('cause the left is just examining the cabinet) of the window to see if the Magpie was still there before I could do that.
So I finally succeeded in leaving my room! I feel so accomplished. Mankind will speak of this for future generations to come! Okay, dramatics aside, clearly there is something wrong with this family if they lock a child in his room (just realized the significance of the lock being on the outside of the room). Sadly, the axe broke and ruined my plans of going on an ax-crazy murder spree. Drats.
The first I noticed about this mansion... it's dark! Either they've boarded up their windows, closed all the curtains, or are cheapskates when it comes to paying the electric bills 'cause you can barely make out any details in those hallways.
So I was then tasked by the Magpie to fetch it a glass of water. Simple enough where even a complete idiot such as myself couldn't possibly fail! Surely it would be easier than escaping my room. I was proven right though I am slightly concerned that I could not walk around the table on its upper side and had to instead walk all the way around the bottom side. Sure, it doesn't take that much more time but it's the principal of the matter.
So I gave the Magpie the water. Then Noel was scripted to leave the balcony and somehow I was supposed to construe from the dot dot dot what to do next. Luckily for him, I am well versed in that language and translating it revealed that he had suddenly developed an inexplicable desire for stabbing feathered creatures. I suppose it's customary to leave and then immediately come back before you kill someone but I'm not French/German like he is so I wouldn't know. So Noel pulls out not his hunting knife but scissors out of nowhere. Then he contemplates self-harm. Apparently he is a cutter. Prompting to do so results in him experiencing the blissful feeling that I've only ever read of. Unfortunately, he wasn't careful and cut an artery and bled to death.
Choosing no will make Noel murder that bird. I don't find this disturbing at all. It was the right thing to do. Otherwise, that Magpie would have gone on to become intelligent enough to start a bird school which is for birds.
But this was just another typical day in the life of the Albino Russian Dwarf. With his goal accomplished, he then proceeded to return to his room and take a well-deserved break. He didn't lose any sleep over what he did. Later, Noel was woken by a maid who informed him that dinner was ready. Tonight's menu? Roasted magpie. Food always tastes better when you're the one who killed it and Noel did work up quite an appetite fattening up that poultry under the pretense of helping it and then butchering it without remorse. The bookworm thought he did a good job but Granny was not impressed. She showed her displeasure by slapping him on his un-bandaged cheek, leaving a bruise that would swell later and have to be bandaged. She then shrieked "Get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich! Also, no supper tonight!"
So Noel went to the kitchen. But there he met his arch-nemesis... the maid. Ooohhh, but this wasn't your average everyday maid. This was a blue-haired, red-eyed crossdressing pigeon boy meido! Sparks flew as the traps glared at each other. You see, in this world there CAN ONLY BE ONE! What followed was an epic ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny that would forever go down in history as the greatest modelling competition. There are many variations of the tale but all agree on one thing... the few lucky spectators died of nosebleeds caused by viewing the event. There are heretics however who believe it was just an urban legend. Their argument? "Pics or it didn't happen." Many had to concede to that logic. And that's why the previous maid got replaced by Annabelle.
And so ends HikiNeet's abridged interpretation of the demo. And if you're asking "When did the scene after Noel went to sleep happen?" Well, it didn't. I just made that up.
Oh, and Noel should really get those shelves and books dusted and the books on the floor picked up. He must quite lazy if he can't even take care of them. He is a disgrace to avid readers everywhere! Though I'm kind of the last person who should be saying that since my literary possessions are in the same state. I can say from experience that dust bunnies aren't something you should be looking forward to on your pages.
You sure like drawing boys in frilly and lacy clothing... Not that I'm complaining, hehe. This does make me wonder about their choice of undergarments... Err, anyway! I checked out your Facebook and Tumblr. That Noel in a wedding dress (made me think of Reimu Hakurei and then Flandre Scarlet) and dem fishnet stockings... Strutting around in those lacy boots--a performance further accentuated by how much leg he's showing--he's just asking to be kidnapped! The Hunger Games fanart just leads credence to him being unhinged. It's always the cute and quiet ones!
The way he holds that red book reminds of Allen from Alice Mare. In fact, they both happen to wear suspenders and are usually sporting a stoic expression. If we take it even further, Letty from the same series also has the same taste in coats and ribbons (even if they're not the same color).
I hope to see some animal-eared/tailed boys since you wrote that he find himself in a dark 'Wonderland' (The journal lied; there are no illustrations nor can you read it). Yeeessssss, a Cheshire Cat and White Rabbit--Wait, we already have the latter in the form of Noel, hehe~
"Oh! What a cute little bunny rabbit. Just what I always wanted: my own little bunny rabbit. I will name him George and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him. And rub him and caress him and stroke him and cuddle him so he will never feel rejected or lack for love."
Err, so have I proven myself worthy of joining the Noel
I see that you like 1BitHeart if the fanart you drew of the main character was any indication. Nanashi is indeed very kawaii~ I actually haven't finished that game. You see, when I first learned of it only two chapters were out. The game's long been complete now though. I've just never gotten around to doing it. I'll get back to you on my favorite character(s) if I don't forget to do so. The places in that game are so beautiful, the soundtrack wonderful to listen to, and the character designs are cute.
Thanks for having the DETERMINATION to get through my loquacious post. Here's a Pokemon Gijinka Trap for all your troubles. I found it while surfing the web and I thought it might interest you. Who knows? Maybe it'll inspire you. Keep up the good work!
Games - Tester
Games - Other
