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Suiren

A friendship between three girls and one boy, hmm. You don't see that often. This reminds me of
Corpse Party if you've ever heard/watched/played it before. The characters in that game perform a 'Forever After' charm so that they stay friends forever even though one girl is moving away. Unfortunately, they did it for fun and didn't expect that doing it would get them pulled into another world where their lives are in danger. The worst part is that those who die in Heavenly Host will feel the pain they felt during their death for all of eternity and their souls will be trapped forever unable to pass on to the afterlife.

I wonder if the individual character deaths in this game, depending on how good/bad the ending route you're on, will be just as gruesome and heart-wrenching.

This also kind of reminds me of Anohana too. The characters in that anime forgot a promise they made long ago when they were children. In the end, they do figure it out...

The beginning scene was cute and fluffy. That CG is quite detailed. I like Isamu the most in both personality and appearance. Though, I don't like how the back of his sprite doesn't show his hair strands sticking out (it's so "flat") even though his side sprite has a little curl. As for the others...
Megumi is too antagonistic for me to like her. The fact that she wants to play the "blame game" doesn't help my opinion of her either. Tomoka's too much of a shrinking violet for me to like her either. Nothing particularly stands out with Frederika but she's okay in my book. Isamu is definitely my favorite due to how mature he is.


Well, unfortunately I have a lot of corrections/grammar mistakes/wrong word usages for you that I spent a few hours combing through. I too offer my proofreading services. My corrections/additions are in bold or I've struck through what should be removed:
cd > CD
What are you saying Isamu, don't give up!
What are you saying, Isamu? Don't give up!

Frederika is right, don't believe to rid of us easily, especially of me!
don't think you'll get rid of us so easily, especially of me!

I... I don't want that Isamu goes away... that no one goes away, we are friends!
I... I don't want that Isamu to go away... I don't want anyone to go away.

You hadn't ruined anything
haven't

Maybe it's a simple brownout, don't worry(add comma) it happens sometimes.

My thoughts: (Tomoko's scared dot eyes come across as more comical to me than serious/actually scared. It's the type of expression you make when you go "Wut?")

I think it's natural to be frightened by this these kind of things.

Huhuhu... well, as you said(add comma) this mansion

T... there is really a ghost! T... there really is a ghost!

How are you, guys? (remove the comma)

So, according to you how we got here?
So, according to you, how did we get here?

(You should also play Suiren's laugh when she first appears; the silence when she goes 'Hahahaha' is awkward)

My thoughts: Oh no! It's Suiren, the scantily-clad demon loli! (This is just my first impression)

Nice to meet you my dear guests,
Nice to meet you, my dear guests,

And then you're pratically just a child!
And then you're practically just a child!

Which game are you talking about? If we clear it, can we go home? My thoughts: (this is your response to her saying you were likely to die first? Talk about nonchalant...)

Trying to find a way home it's is useless,

Uuuh... sigh... mom...
*sigh* (You don't actually say 'sigh' when you speak.)

Do you think we can believe this crazy story about a the dream?!

If doesn't matter (if) that you don't believe me,

You sure are ungrateful,(replace comma with a period) Haven't you wished for you all to always stay together?

Here, your wish can become true!

I let you some time to get settled...
I'll give you some time to get settled...

[A dream where we can risk to die... how did we end up in this a similar situation?]

Uuuh... sigh... sob... y... yes, sorry... [Her image isn't crying like Megumi said. You don't 'sigh' when you're crying either. Sob isn't spoken; *Sob*)

We absolutely have to get out exit from here!

I agree, but how can we go get out from this room?
That Suiren talked about "floor pitfalls!... it could be dangerous! (I stepped in every single tile to see if the floor would break and I'd fall into a pitfall. There were none so pitfalls is misleading.)
That Suiren mentioned deadly obstacles! It could be dangerous!

Where does that voice come from?
Where did

This table is really strange!
What do you care about?
Why do you care?

My thoughts: (Why can't we carry around items whenever we want? Other games have a item slot in their menus. Though I suppose if someone dies, the items they were holding won't be lost)
(still, they won't assume that will happen and plan accordingly by putting everything they find in the box. Kinda pessimistic if they want to be that careful/prepared)


It's better to go talking to the teddy bear's head before.
It's better to go talk to the teddy bear's head first.

I can help you to leave

If you are too scared, it's better if you don't move stay here where it's safe.

Take, I'll give you this.

You can check maps in every moments in the image gallery.
You can check maps whenever you want in the image gallery. My thoughts: (I didn't actually need to use the map)

Be careful to the yellow one!
Be careful of the yellow one!

Don't worry about us, when our king will be ok, we can be mended again.
Don't worry about us, when our king is whole again, we can be mended again.

Now I'm in a really bad mood!
I'm in a really bad mood right now!

My thoughts: (I totally walked through the electric area just to see what would happen.)

At this time I am a simple rabbit like many others, but now that I've conquered the floor I'm going to become a queen.
Right now, I'm a simple rabbit like many others, but now that I've conquered the floor, I'm going to become a queen.

I have no intention to make her upset, so forget it, I don't let you pass!
I have no intention of making her upset(add period here) So forget about me letting you pass!

My thoughts: (The knife sound made jump a little.)

Do You know him, right?

Surely, he must have asked you to find his parts, but put up with it, you'll never find all of them them all!

Now he can roll over around, if he wants... Now disappear, before I get mad for real!

Frederika, if we manage to survive this I'm done with you! My thoughts: (So much for the 'best friends forever' speech at the beginning of the game)

Why do are you get angry with me now?

You did hear what Suiren said, all of this was called from your stupid wish! This is all your fault!
You heard what Suiren said! All of this happened because of your stupid wish! This is all your fault!

Stop it, don't say absurdities both of you! Megumi, this situation was unpredictable, don't give the fault on Frederika!
Stop fighting! Megumi, none of us could have known that this would happen. Don't blame Frederika.

You both are always by on her side...

Hey look, someone must be smashed... My thoughts: (Someone got drunk (smashed) on tomato juice? Heh.)
Hey look, someone must have smashed them...

(Isamu got filled with bullets a few times. It was brave of him to risk his life though. Good thing that guard can only see in a straight line and not slightly to the left or directly diagonal! Talk about bad vision...)

A painting with a wite face.
white

The rabbits spare my life because I never leave my room, but if they know that I've talked to you, I risk!
'I risk!' should be 'I'll be in danger!'

Hem, I... (I don't think anyone says 'hem' on a standard basis. They do say 'Ahem' but that doesn't fit here.)
Umm, I...


Did you not understand? Out of my way! Get out!

(Interacting with demon) Now are you in the mood for a talk?
for a conversation?

How'd you dare to hit me?!
How dare you hit me!
My thoughts: (Megumi, hitting a demon probably isn't a good idea... Then again, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned)


Whatever is your problem, get over it! We want you to tell us how to get trought the other room, now!
Whatever your problem is, get over it! We want you to tell us how to get through the other room, now!

Ok, I'll say it to you! There's a button here to push that I'm guarding...
Ok, I'll tell you! I'm guarding the button you have to push to deactivate the electrical field!

and if you get wrong...
But if you get one wrong...

We don't have a choice... one of the pieces is surely there... go!
surely there... let's start!

Obviously is 2!
Obviously it's 2!

Suiren would be tricked... My thoughts: (She might be able to trap us in a dream world filled with death traps but she sucks at math.)

They're red! If you think that I'm inventing,
If you think I'm lying/making this up, (either one works)

Damn... you can get through...
Damn... you can pass...

Mpf! Serves you right!
Hmph!

My thoughts: (At least he was nice enough not to reactivate the lasers while we were passing through.)

I told you that you could get throught, not reverse...
I told you that you could pass through but I never said anything about returning!

and you will be free!
and I'll let you out!


[That guy... is really starting to annoy me.]

There's some money bags here! Maybe he wants some of these, by the way, who dislike doesn't like money?

These fruits looks so tasty... maybe he's hungry!
Or maybe maths, since he's so bad...
Math

Fool, who tell you that I lack on money?
who told you

I don't eat this kind of things, puah!
these kinds of things

Have fun there, untill lady Suiren come to catch you!
until Lady Suiren comes to get you!

You threw a sweather over the lasers.
sweater

Various sacks of gold coin.
coins

I d-don't like that skeleton...
Close please...
Close it please...

Tomoko, it's only a costume.
I hope so.
At least, I hope so...

Hem...(these ellipses are in the middle instead of low) no, none of us has anything for sewing.
Umm...

Looking closely, one of the fighter's sword in the background protrude from the painting.
one fighter's sword in the background protrudes

You are great Isamu!
You have a good eye, Isamu!

Long live to the king!

Don't worry, now I'll go to clean the way
Don't worry, now I'll go to clear the way

If you are filled only with cotton, why do you lose blood?
filled with only cotton, how do you lose blood?

can you move that I want to so that I can hug her?

Well... maybe it's better not,
Well... maybe it's better if you didn't...

[I don't really want to know exactly what he exactly eats...]
(The ellipses are in the middle instead of low.)

(Love how examine text changes as King Teddy. Though it doesn't really matter, making the demon have a dialogue change for King Teddy would be nice.)

'Morning Sir! As always, no invasors!
invadors!

This... this could be useful... I'll give them as a gratitude token a token of my gratitude.
The ellipses are in the middle instead of low.

It seems like a... thriller?

S... sure, thanks for your comprehension!
thanks for understanding!

K... King Teddy! How it's possible...
How is it possible...

I'm going to ask him fi if he knows what to do now.

My thoughts: (When she's going back upstairs by herself: No Frederika! It's dangerous to go alone! Here, take this bloody knife!)


Uuuh... sigh... sob... mom, mommy! (You wouldn't use sigh when you're crying. Sob isn't spoken; *Sob*)

My thoughts: (Woah, Megumi really has it out for Frederika!)

[I never saw Isamu so upset!}
[I've never seen Isamu so upset before!} (Tomoko's scared dot eyes express not fear but instead looks like she's going 'Wut?')

and you permitted us
and you allowed us

Megumi, if you haven't stopped me I would've put you all in trouble...
Megumi, if you hadn't stopped me, I would've gotten you all into trouble...

you have a strong memory and an acute powers of observation.
and acute observation skills.

Well, it's not sharp as yours...
Well, it's not as sharp as

you went alone in that dangerous hallway only just to protect us...

I've got nothing,
I've done nothing,

No one of us could sew up the King Teddy, and also so fine!
None of us could sew up the King Teddy and definitely not as well as you did!

If we were able to leave that floor is thank to you...
We were able to leave that floor thanks to you.

I had an idea! Did you noticed the four
I have an idea! Did you notice

Good idea, still better than nothing!
Good idea, it's better than nothing!

Nothing even here!
Nothing here either!

Neither I!
Neither can I!

So the red of the blood will stand out nicely.
So the red of your blood

Until we four are together, we are afraid of no one!
As long as we four are together,

your plushie bunnies don't work with us!
on us!

Uh?
Oh?

She's right, we overcame the dangers of the upper floor, surely we're not afraid of you alone!
She's right! We overcame the dangers of the floor above. We're not afraid of you!

Hem...
Umm...

without your precious friends around.. Mh?
Hmm?

Who... who was... that people?
Who... who were... those people?

None important.
No one important.

called here in my dream
called here to my dream

but before, I preferred to sent them to other places.
but now, I've sent them to other places.

Their most hidden dreams...
To their forgotten dreams...

Who knows how much of them will succeed to come back here...
Who knows how many of them will succeed in returning here...

maybe they'll lose their life, or their mind...
lives/minds

Dead.jpg

Coming up in next update - misc : Heroes skills (part 1)

author=Chaos17
I don't think it's possible to cancel passive states, Yanfly didn't coded that neither Rpg maker.
I meant the damage from the DoT would neutralize the healing you get from regeneration. Like you might heal 100 Hp each turn but with a DoT you could lose 100 HP per turn. That's what I meant by "cancel".

By the way, are you considering making two more party members for earth and darkness?

The Single's Game: C++ Edition

Okay, so I decided to play this 'cause I was hoping for funny contestants and responses. That didn't happen. Male, female, it doesn't matter. It's a cosmetic choice. You don't get different candidates depending on your gender. They're the same for both genders, just with different names. The endings are all the same too. Generic instead of unique. The responses were bland as well.

Here's how my first run went:
Why do I care? Why am I in here in the first place??? How do you not know? Did someone drug you to sleep and then dump you on a Blind Date show set? At least it'd make sense if your friends forced you to attend.
Okay, that's also one thing that I don't fucking know.
Why the fuck do I care? Can somebody get me out of this place?
Umm... okay... just a romantic date that's all about us and never will we ever be separated? Yandere alert!
Himegami


Her dialogue when chosen is
Huh? HUH?! Wait... he choice me? I think I'm gonna faint right now. Catch me, (Name). chose; not choice.

That seems odd to me considering how anti-dating show she was with all her responses. Then I saw the responses from Misao who takes stuttering virgin to the extreme. Here dialogue when chosen is: ...Just finish this show so we can start already, (Name).

So clearly, you've accidentally switched them.


Grammar/spelling mistakes/corrections:
Orpah? Don't you mean Oprah?

befit to his/her character. to

And then, the result would be the person to whom man which picked the most answers from.
to whom you've/they've man which

After all this mess --> For all your troubles

from a single person then another two to the other --> from a person and two from another person

Paraiah > Pariah
The definition is "an outcast" or "a member of a low caste in southern India"
Why would the responders be called that?


second-to-the-last second question > don't need 'the'

Looks like we're nearly going to a complete halt as we reach the final question! Final question! is enough. You said 'second-to-last question' in the previous sentence so there's no need to get all dramatic and wordy. 'nearly going to a complete halt' doesn't even make sense there anyway.

What do you have to say about being chosen as the winner?

It's already obvious that I'll win this thing. I wonder how much fun I'll have with you, (Name). It was obvious from the start that I would win.

Ooh! This is getting exciting as I thought it would be! > as exciting

Paraiah #2. What does you have in mind? 'do'

Despite having unusual behaviours that does not suite them together, they still acted as magnets, both negative and positive alike.
The two are no more a single of status... but a fusion of both man and woman. Magnets, both negative and positive? A fusion of both man and woman? Who came up with these lines? This is a bad case of purple prose.

They lived happily ever after. Someone I met on a blind date became my wife/girlfriend for the rest of my life? Yeah, uhhh, not likely.
Or do they? > did
It is a matter of time before we find out. It is --> It's; sounds better when you say them together rather than separately.
...do we, ? do --> won't

My thoughts:
I never thought this could happen! Let alone that our contestant has a thing for harems! The harems part amused me.

Apparently, since this is the result, it will be the Result Staff to decide which Paraiah will the contestant have! Umm, what? I'm the one whose decision apparently decides what horrible person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. Why do they get to determine my future with a coin toss? The tie-breaker should be a question, not eenie meenie miney mo.

It looks like that the Results Staff has finally decided (on) a winner!

Love is... love?
Just some ordinary guy, that's all. Not a bad answer but not very ambitious either.
Kiss them directly?
A date? Yeah, just a date.

Nathalie:
I think love is a relationship between a man and woman. Love doesn't take gender into account.
A rich guy. I love rich guys. Gold-digger
A French kiss. They just can't resist it.
A date that's all for me.

Coming up in next update - misc : Heroes skills (part 1)

Well, some random encounters could have passive HP regeneration or the means to gain the regen state. This wouldn't be early-game enemies but certainly you'd want to DoT them to effectively cancel out their healing, right?

EO FOEs are avoidable (since they're too powerful for when you first meet one). So your mini-bosses would have to be as well. Now traps. I don't suppose you can make one that shoots fire in a straight line, turns off for a while so you can pass through, and then turns on again? Puzzles would be nice too.

Lies

Nice character art and mapping. If done right, words can convey a sinister atmosphere surpassing that of jumpscares. I know I've read some good Creepypastas that make me fear the possibility of them being real when night comes...

The only thing that bothers me is those character bios. I'm not fond of informed traits or maybe I'm being a nitpick. "Saif is helpful, his heart is really kind, everyone wants to be his friend" My reaction when I read this is "How is he helpful or kind? Why would people want to befriend him?" Informed traits don't tell you these things. They're not as informative as if you had used examples like: "Saif does the chores around the house to take some workload off his father."Saif doesn't like to hurt other people's feelings even if it means lying to them."

Suiren

You had me at dream realm. It doesn't seem like it'll have a good story but then again, most horror RPGmakers don't go too in-depth with that anyway. Multiple protagonists seems like a redundant feature to me unless you can control any of the four friends instead of just Frederika? Multiple endings, hmm. Some will live, others will die. There tends to be a route where everyone dies and one where everyone lives. You probably have to work for the latter though. There could even be an ending where someone keeps Suiren company.

Well, hopefully the characters are well-written and developed enough so that I'll actually be upset if they get killed. It's more emotional that way.

Coming up in next update - misc : Heroes skills (part 1)

author=Chaos17
I wonder at wich level I can introduce that. DoT are interesting when the enemy has a high HP pool. Same for buff, at earlier level, buffs aren't enough effective to make a difference because of the low stats of heroes.
Well, mini-bosses and bosses should have enough HP to make DoTs matter regardless of level. It's better to spread skills across the levels. You don't want to make a character be able to learn all their skills early-game because then the player will have nothing to look forward to from them then on. Maybe you can introduce NPCs that you can learn skills from so that you don't get them all from just leveling up. 'Course, they might desire payment for teaching you. A good amount of monster drops, maybe defeating a boss (that you need to progress the story anyway). A side-quest of sorts. Having certain equipment bestow a skill while it's being worn could work too. Are you going to have optional bonus bosses hidden in the game?

So Midori is water. One thing she can do with it is cure burns (by cooling them down). Another is to inflict Soak on the enemy, a state that makes them take more damage from Thunder but less from Fire attacks. It wears off in a few turns (drying off) but the duration is reduced by 1 turn every time the target is struck by Thunder/Fire attacks. Lastly, poisons tend to be in liquid form (or gas) so what better way to inflict that status than with a water spell?

Kuro could get a Lightning Rod skill. Works like Taunt but draws in all Thunder attacks instead. Taunt might be too OP for him to have. A lesser-version would be called Magnetic Field which would attract all Metal (neutral) attacks. Essentially, robots, golems, and any monster that uses metal weapons or armor. Taunt should make enemies want to hit the user more, not suck up all physical attacks. Vigilant Protector/Guard(ian) would be a better name for someone who does the latter.

Ice is usually associated with water if it's not its own element. It's the same with wind to thunder. But I suppose you can't really give Midori any ice spells nor Kuro any wind ones since they would be weak to fire/earth (what water/thunder are weak to). Water can beat fire but ice gets melted in turn.

Coming up in next update - misc : Heroes skills (part 1)

Hmm, so you made the fire property apply to skills as well. That's good.

Fire can burn, thunder can stun/paralyze, wind can bleed if it's the thin "bladed" variety.

A Berserker could have a Fiery Aura that burns (damages) enemies that physically attack Junta. Then again, the same can be done with electricity or wind blades.

Kuro can have a Charge skill where he builds up electricity for a turn (possibly getting a status/state condition icon for that) and powers up his next electric attack/skill by like x2.5 damage (0.5 more damage than attacking twice).

So does Midori have water attacks now (her element icon in the updated menu has a bubble icon) or does she still have wind spells?