Was deemed by the Arishok as one who commands a great deal of respect. Was recently thrown out of a wheat field for going against the grain. Once conquered Rhode Island using a can of lima beans, a yo-yo, and a used copy of Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 3 on Blu-Ray. Is a founding member of the band Bladder Failure, whose hit single "Flushed From the Bottom of My Heart" spent nearly six minutes atop the Canadian Top 10 (until the software glitch was corrected). Invented the word "zfaifnv" while trapped in the back of a UPS truck with a flatulent snapping turtle.

ALSO: Does not tolerate use of the word "when" under any circumstance.
The Legend of Blake
Embark upon a journey to become a legend. Or not. It's up to you.



What games should I play?

The backtracking also really got on my nerves. Going to the same few places over and over... I don't like it, but I can live with it. But reusing the freaking dungeons? You've got to be kidding me! And don't even get me started on The Imprisoned.......

What games should I play?

Don't play Skyward Sword, for the love of god. Unless you're a huge fan of completely wasting your time and being frustrated that is.

FI: Link, this is a LOCKED DOOR! I estimate there is a 97% chance you will not be able to get through it without a KEY!

FI: Link, you have found a KEY! You can use it to open LOCKED DOORS! I estimate there is a 75.4% chance that it will open that LOCKED DOOR we passed five minutes ago.

FI: You've been playing for a long time, Link! Don't forget to take a fifteen minute break every hour!

And people think Navi is bad......

Limited Locations

I dunno, I liked Dragon Age 2. It helped that the town was pretty lively and had it's different areas - it was like a series of areas unto itself and I think it worked well.
I guess I should note that I enjoyed Dragon Age 2 more the second time I played it, when my expectations were not sky high. I also played Hawke as the snarky/sarcastic character that time, which was much more satisfying than pure evil Hawke. I still wasn't thrilled about being trapped in Kirkwall, but I enjoyed the game, at least.

What are you thinking about right now?

French Toast, anybody?

I'm starting a new service. For $140 per month I will log into your account and post 3 decent messages every day.
Hot damn, that's a deal. I mean, I'd pay $240 for this service! Granted, I tend to make more than 3 messages each day, but I thrive on mediocrity. This exciting chance to have decent messages is very appealing.

The Mess-up A Wish Foundation

The Wii U wouldn't even turn on. Straight out of the box, completely dead. Nintendo was pretty cool about it. They asked me a few questions and had me try a few things, but the guy pretty much determined that it was dead in a few minutes and had me send it back for "repairs" ... though they sent me an entirely new console.

The PS4 worked for about a week before it died. The screen would flicker, then the sound would get garbled, and then the console would shut off. And then fucking Sony tech support had me on the phone for 45 minutes. "Is the PS4 console plugged in? Are you sure it's plugged in? Can you plug it into a different outlet? Have you accidentally turned the television off? Push this series of buttons while standing on your head! It should work now... Oh, it doesn't work?" Thankfully, it got to the point where the PS4 wouldn't actually stay turned on long enough for me to try any of these "solutions" and the dud FINALLY decided that, "sadly, your PlayStation 4 console MIGHT be defective." No shit, Sherlock! I told you that 45 minutes ago!

I also had an Xbox 360 die, but it was due to the "disc tray error" and not the red ring of death (which I never experienced).


Granted, I am not a pair of pants, but I am wearing pants.

I wish I knew what it meant to be a pair of pants...

The Mess-up A Wish Foundation



Bagh Da tuH mogh
ChojaH Duh rHo
yIjah, Qey' 'oH
yIjah, Qey' 'oH
yIjah, Qey' 'oH

majaq. 'o' tugh
iDaq. majun.
pa'Daq jagh baH!
ou' lo' tlhuHQo'!

tep lagh negh 'uH
mughato' tu'
yIjah, Qey' 'oH
yIjah, Qey' 'oH
yIjah, Qey' 'oH

wo' naj, cha' DIch
Do' chIj, wa'DIch
'ejDo' 'el Da'
Qib'a' bopar

yIjah, Qey' 'oH
yIjah, Qey' 'oH
yIjah, Qey' 'oH

But it's probably a Klingon laxative commercial (because even warriors need gentle relief from occasional constipation).

And I've already had a bricked Wii U (fresh out of the box on Day 1). My PS4 bricked, too. I wish I had better luck with new consoles.

The Mess-up A Wish Foundation

Granted, you get really good at violin, but the live orchestra you were going to be a part of has been replaced with synth.

I wish Mario Kart 8 wasn't such bullshit. I was playing last night, clearly finished third (I've watched the replay, there's no doubt), and the final results put some asshole who finished in seventh as the race winner and bumped me down to fourth.

Computer having issues with recent update

Anyone have any idea what could be wrong?
Oh! Oh! Oh! I got this one! The mic doesn't work! See? I pay attention! :P

And my mic/headset is USB and I just plug it into the port on top of my computer, so I'm about as useful as a rotten turnip.

Oh, and have fun with all of those Automatic Updates. When I did my fresh install of Windows a few weeks ago, it was sending me like 400 updates at a time. After like three days of that shit, I just turned off Automatic Updates. XD

The ^ < v game

^ Shovel Knight... and called me an "IT" :x

< Is not an "IT" :(

v Has agreed to become my personal assistant, and will tend to all of those annoying things I don't feel like doing.

Post an insane lie about the person above you

Nightowl is actually a sentient cabbage.