Was deemed by the Arishok as one who commands a great deal of respect. Was recently thrown out of a wheat field for going against the grain. Once conquered Rhode Island using a can of lima beans, a yo-yo, and a used copy of Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 3 on Blu-Ray. Is a founding member of the band Bladder Failure, whose hit single "Flushed From the Bottom of My Heart" spent nearly six minutes atop the Canadian Top 10 (until the software glitch was corrected). Invented the word "zfaifnv" while trapped in the back of a UPS truck with a flatulent snapping turtle.

ALSO: Does not tolerate use of the word "when" under any circumstance.
The Legend of Blake
Embark upon a journey to become a legend. Or not. It's up to you.



The ^ < v game

^ Is under the impression that I get to sleep in.

< Saw the eclipse and took several horrid pictures of it.

v Is wearing clothes. Hopefully.

What are you thinking about right now?

That is one cute kid.

We all wake up exactly the same way; our hair a mess and our eyes crusted with mucus. We all slump out of bed and drag ourselves to the restroom to void our bowels/bladders before pawing at breakfast. We all get that need to scratch our backs/armpits/faces once in a while. Why not be real about it?
Really? I arise looking positively radiant and float to the bathroom on a cloud surrounded by rainbows and butterflies and leaves tulip petals in its wake.

WTF do you do (game)

That made me laugh more than it probably should have...

Really, the only way to deal with zombies is to get out the old shotgun and relieve the bastards of their heads. But I would, in all likelihood, run away and let somebody more competent deal with the problem.

SITUATION: You're about to destroy the Death Star, but you fired your last missile at a TIE Fighter, and are cruising through that trench with no ammo.

(ALSO: I work at a grocery store, and the store being closed is hardly a detriment to those idiots who forgot to buy their toilet paper. Some of them will just keep shopping until you throw them out.)

What Videogames Are You Playing Right Now?

Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS. Oh man. It's great to be able to Smash anywhere, anytime. Smash in bed. Smash in the bathroom. Smash at work. Too bad the game is a battery vampire.

What are you thinking about right now?

Well, if you need a hug, I'll see if I can find somebody to accommodate you. XD

I can usually live without fancy items. I've only played against the computer, and I waste so much time level grinding that I'm usually overpowered. If I have the right Pokémon on my team, I can handle just about any situation. Except that one Durant...

Video game tunes that get stuck in your head often?

That main theme to Super Smash Bros. for the 3DS. It has consumed my very soul.

What are you thinking about right now?

After that battle, I would have cried like a little girl and closed the 3DS in a fit of rage. That's why I never do those battle subway things. I can't handle all of the stress and bullshittery.

The ^ < v game

^ Has a crappy Rattata.

< All I need is my Goldeen!

v Tried to challenge my Goldeen in battle with a Registeel. Psh.

The ^ < v game

^ Can't travel because she refuses to miss the Tropical Update on The Weather Channel at :50 past the hour. And is under house arrest.

< Is full of shit.

v At last check, was not a turnip.

The Mess-up A Wish Foundation

Granted, but after many years of being good, it turned evil and assaulted your razor.

I wish I knew what a whetstone was. And that I wasn't too lazy to Google it.