BIZARREMONKEY'S PROFILE

author=Ilan14
I sent you a PM with what I posted, that's why I deleted it.

But thanks for the compliment, anyways. :)

Huh... I didn't receive it. :0

This is definitely Kentona's fault. It's not that I asked him to change my name twice or anything!

If you sent it to BowelMovement then you'll want to send it to BizarreMonkey, if you sent it to BizarreMonkey, send it too BowelMovement, I'm not sure which is valid at this point.

Also don't forget that it's two 'r's and one 'z', that commonly trips people up despite the original spelling of the word not being bizarrely different.

Drawing is pretty much never an obligation for me. I do it because it's fun.

I basically tried to draw last night but couldn't find inspiration, so if you want me to draw shit add me on skype (just search bizarre monkey) and I'll gauge the notion of your request and see if I can do it. Worst I can do is say no. I don't need your money, and wouldn't feel right taking it. Unless you're asking for something beyond my scope of what I can do artistically or... morally, you would be doing me a favor.

Not to blame anyone here, as this again is me probably being short-sighted, but I went into this community and it seemed really staunch and tough (again, this may not be anyone's fault, just the impression I got), so I probably presented myself as way too much of a shitlord for my own good. I had to do that on RMRK because being sensitive there is likened to being in a collaboration with Hitler's long traumatized ghost, the fact I was a shit artist back then (though I'm still not great, even now) also probably didn't help.

I saw a lot of ... how do I say this without it seeming negative? Similar sort of influences from there to here, the tagline's also do their best to suggest (again, from my POV) that the forum is relatively conditioned to hardasses. So I didn't typically filter myself. Doing that isn't hard, so long as any place is worth it, I just thought being completely myself where I swear a lot, insult people as a joke (it's rarely meant to be honest, if I use an overbearing tone or uppercase it's pretty much never meant sincerely, but again, my fault for assuming you guys would have the omniscience to know that) and just in general stating my controversial or unpopular opinions.

Now I'm okay with being 'unpopular opinions guy', I've played the role before. But I wasn't meaning to go overboard with it, when I did and became aware of it, I decided to be even more of a whimsical poopdeck buttmeiser and make that one particular phrase that everybody loves.

So yeah, sorry to anyone who I legitimately made upset, had it been my intention or not, I will now seek to be not such-a-mighty-buttwipe. I hope that doesn't sound too much like 'I'm going to lower my yelling voice' because that would be holier than thou. I want to do this for my own benefit, it's not because you guys whined and I'm caving, believe me I'm too stubborn to be swayed by popular dogma. If I do anything that is seemingly for anyone else's benefit, it's probably just for me and you guys get a bonus out of it. That also probably sounds holier than thou, damn it!

Um, basically I'm not better than you okay?? Jeez!

I'm just a very self-serving person. I'm plainly aware of that fact, and I'm not going to change it because it's easy to cloak, humans are all still built for survival after all, I'm not defying human nature here, I'm not that good. What I'm going to do is try very hard and never stop trying to be less of a petulant squirming arsehole.

Iddalai and the Toaster fella aren't completely off the mark either. I've only made a few posts that are really worth so much disdain, and the first couple I made here are definitely telling of that. I certainly don't think I've made enough of an ass of myself to be the most disreputable member here, especially considering I've only been really active since late 2014, that would be quite a feat. It may be that because of this thread I have become the selective icon of disingenuous 'dislike'. But I really don't know, and while I vow to change how I respond to be more on your level, I think personally that I'm still pretty cool, I'm just doing too much to try and illustrate that. My fault is that i want too much for you guys to like me, lmao.

In doing that, and your eventual decline in approval, I begin to get frustrated, that leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to to biz pooping all over on the darkside.

I should have just been truthful from the start, I presented myself to be better than I am, people saw through it, and now I'm all like 'welp, shit!'.

TL;DR: don't make my mistake of trying to be betterer person than thine art. Just be thy honest wanker and be cool about it, the end??

Like I connect with characters like Kanaya Maryam because I tend to make the mistake of letting myself feel that I know more than i do and act like I'm important, where in reality I'm really just sort of goofy and comical and it's not like the world would end with me.

Just bought it, collectively cheating Degica out of hundreds of dollars and doing that totally legally.

It's good, I actually didn't have rpgmaker vx ace on steam, welp, now I do! There's some resource overlap, so assuming it's legal, I may give the codes for DLC I already have or plainly don't want away. Maybe as contribution to a prizepool of a contest or something more first in, first served. I'll sort that out later.

Haha, all good. There's definitely a feeling of the game being rushed towards Act 5, as it was. On release I'm hoping to have everything fixed and awesome, and the art consistent. Good luck with Craze's game and other stuff!